Which came first, Love or Sex?

I asked a friend (one of my guy friends) tonight if he and his wife had waited to be intimate, would they have married? He didn't know the answer. I think in that - the answer lies. I asked another friend - and she said she and her boyfriend (they are in their 40's) are waiting until they are married.

I have several friends who have been intimate with guys they were dating at the time, and not one relationship worked out in a positive way. (Yes, I know several people will email me or write saying the opposite worked for them) From what I can tell, women will be intimate with someone they have strong feelings for - most of the time they believe they are in love with the guy. Since I am not a guy, I cannot speak for them, but I don't think this is the case on their side. (hey, I could be wrong).

Before I go any further, I firmly believe in waiting until you are married before you are intimate with anyone. That is God's plan for us. Sex was made for marriage. And I have a few friends who have remarried and don't regret waiting until marriage to be intimate with their new spouse. They tell me , it is a gift to each other. I know of too many single friends who gave in - and are now hurting terribly-the relationship did not go the way they thought it was headed. Dealing with feelings and emotions they were not prepared to deal with.

I know. I know. Compared to today's standards, I sound terribly old fashioned and "prudish", but I am who I am. Now I have had people tell me I am pretty much eliminating "prospects" from the already slim dating pool, and that essentially I am eliminating myself from the dating pool. Surely, there are others out there who feel the same way as I?

And please if you are in an intimate relationship, ask yourself, does the other person genuinely care for you? Want to spend time with you? Or are you using each other for completely different reasons? One of you for a loving relationship and the other for ...well...sex.

Guard your heart, mind, and body...you are so valuable.

Back to the old argument......

Can men and women be friends?

My 76 year old mother, thinks not. She does not understand the friendships I have with different guys, (they are from work, church, old friends..) She really does think there is no way possible for men and and women to be "just friends." (side note: I think it would be really cool for all my friends to meet, it would be an intersting mix...hmm maybe when I turn 40?)

Maybe she is right, mabye "Harry" from When Harry met Sally is right. Regardless if the woman knows it or not, does sex always enters the picture, even if it is just in the guy's mind? Is he sitting there, wondering "what if" or "man, she looks pretty good tonight."

This really has me thinking - I have several "guy" friends from church - and I don't think of them as a potential date/mate-they are friends - friends to go to a movie or dinner with. Same with a couple of guy friends, I met them through work and such. And I have a guy friend I have known since, well it seems like, since Moby Dick was a tadpole! :) We are just friends.
Do women view the friendship differently? Are we blind? Are there guys out there that never think of being intimate or in a romantic relationship with their female friends?

I must confess I've had two male friends - both of them I was attracted to at one time
(separate times of course!) - had feelings for - but I never acted on them - and we remain friends today. I wonder, did they feel the same way?

You read in previous post - how I wish I could feel something in the romantic sense for one guy friend - but it's just not there. And as a coworker said today - "if it's not there, its not there!" Does this friend of mine feel the same way?

Is it my mother's generation? Is it sign of the times? Or am I fooling myself. Hmmmm.. I wonder.

Feelings...

You ever wish you feel something for someone other than friendship? How you pray that it will happen - but God in His wisdom knows that is not the type of relationship you or the other needs?

You ever wish the feelings you have for someone would go away? Why is the ache ever present? And when they do go away - you miss those feelings-because in your mind as long as the "feeling" was there -there stood half a chance of something more? On the other hand - you are grateful they have diminished and you can go through the day without those powerful, consuming thoughts and feelings.

You ever wish someone would feel something-anything for you, and look at you like you matter? And maybe it would grow into something so sweet?

As I have mentioned, I know God has a plan in all this - I just wish I understood it - because I am ever so lonely today. And desperately want to be held.

Today..

Today is hard. And I have no idea why. Well, I kind of do. Right now I am going through a tough time - and I am ranking it up there as tough as the times right after my divorce.

I am talking tough emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. Hits seem to be coming from everywhere. I know God has a plan in all this and I have to be patient-but I am ever so tired.

I need Precious to call so I can snap of this funk - I need a good kick of our friendship! It is like a dose of vitamins or something. (Don't ask - I can't explain our friendship-but I love my friend).

My friend M.H. is coming for dinner - so I best get to cooking! And I mean I am cooking Southern Style.

Have a good day!

Jesse's girl...



Rick Springfield is on the radio right now. I just want to go out and buy Tiger Beat magazine and pretend that he personally autographed that picture for me and that Kirk Cameron really does know my name.

When did we become our mothers?

Now there is a question that will have women everywhere squirming.

I am sure some will say, "I want to be like my mother." And that is so good. But some of us have to be honest, yes we love our mothers, but... and that my dear friends is a huge BUT....

But do we really want to turn into our mothers? All of this came to mind today when I went to lunch with my friend S.D. We were talking about our health! Now when did that happen? When did it evolve from dates, friends, kids, husbands, ex husbands, jobs...to aches, pains, indigestion and blood pressure?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO this cannot happen. My mother checks her blood pressure about 3-4 times a day. I know more about her bodily functions than I want to - and trust me it is not because I want to - she just tells me between commercials for American Idol or when I am eating Rice Krispies. And trust me when I say this - it ranks up there with thinking about your parents having sex. EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Is it inevitable? Does it come with age?

I am not ready for this...I am only 37......eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww help!

A call from the principal....

I received a call this morning from one of the principal's at my son's school Uh Oh!
He was in the office with the principal. Uh Oh! It seems my son got in trouble for screaming on the bus.

Why does talking to a principal reduce most of us...or maybe it is just me...to mush? It is like I am in 5th grade or something like that. (side note: for the record - I never went to the principal's office - I was your typical boring good girl all through out life-and I've yet to escape the mold!) Geesh. He did say my son was not the only one - only that I needed to sign the form and talk to him.

I am sure my son was a wreck after leaving the office - his day was ruined - he is like his mother - does not handle controversy well at all. Now what should I do...hmmm?

And why do I have the feeling that this won't be my first call in his educational career?

House sitting...

The kids and I have been house sitting this week for D.C. Tonight is our last night. We have enjoyed our time here. It is nice "pretending" - we each had our space and time. It does give me a serious case of "house envy." Yes, I know it is wrong to be envious. But, oh how I want a place to call my own.

I have enjoyed taking two long baths in her great tub! Whoo - it was heavenly - and no interruptions! Why? Because there is a 2nd bathroom. What a luxury!

Along with the house came three pets, a dog, a cat and a fish. The dog is a "wuss", he is very funny. The cat has to be one of the sweetest cats I've seen - very loving and playful. Well, the fish, well, he's a fish.

So thank you my friend! I've enjoyed our "holiday!"

Love ya!

Explain something to me....


For years women have spoken up and fought for more stalls in the restrooms of public places. Ball fields, concert halls, shopping centers, etc.

Well, finally we are getting more stalls - and there are usually plenty of sinks.

Please explain this to me...why have 12 stalls, 9 sinks, 4 things of soap, and 1 paper towel dispenser? And the dispenser is on the wall, behind those women who may be standing in line! Or if there are two entrances - seems to me there should be two paper towel dispensers....oh no, we will find just one paper towl dispenser-and if we are lucky enough to have two dispensers - one of them will either be empty or jammed.

And now you have those little tv screens in the restroom - showing commercials for make up, hair removal, hair loss, tampons, and weight loss. Please.! Why do this to us? The lighting is horrid in these places - so we already have a complex about how we look-I am obsessing and thinking "I am pretty sure my makeup was even when I left the house-man I need to lose about 500 more pounds, is that a hair on my chin?" Then we leave the restroom needing therapy, on the phone with the weight loss people, we stop at Walgreens for the hair removal stuff...the night out ends up costing us $200. And our hands aren't even dry. The men fuss at us "What took you so long?" And there are no words to explain.

I am waiting for the day where each stall has it's own commercial running screen, and you can't leave the stall until you flush. And you will really sit through all of them-whether you want to or not, because you are afraid you will miss something.

You are as pretty in your pajamas as you are in your work clothes. I heard this today. But first let me set up the story. As I have said before, we live in the country, we do not have garbage pick up - oh we can pay someone to pick it up - but why have another bill? Sorry, I am getting off track, but what we do have is a county controlled landfill. So I take our garbage there once or twice a week. There is this man who works there, he has to be at least 75. He is a flirt-but he is a sweetheart. I went to take our garbage early this morning, in my pajamas, and he was there - he comes to my car and he said..."you know miss you are as pretty in your pajamas as you are in your work clothes." I savored the moment-after all a girl doesn't hear that very often-even if she is standing beside a huge garbage container and considering my pajamas consist of a men's flannel shirt, pull on pants, red socks, topped with a pair of clogs. I did brush teeth and hair. Only if he were slightly...okay a lot younger.

That's okay...I've called my husband.

Tonight when I was driving to drop my daughter off at a friend's house, I saw an SUV with emergency lights flashing. I told my daughter I would stop on the way back. I did.

One lady and two kids. I asked if they were okay and if they needed help. She said, "we're fine, that's okay, I've called my husband."

I wonder if she knows how blessed she is to have someone to call. Yes, I know the feminists out there will be shaking their heads at me. But for this gal, I long to have someone to call.

DREAMGIRLS........go see it. It is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy were excellent. They absolutely shined in one terrific cast! Go see the movie-it is worth every dime to see it on the big screen.

I am 37 and I appreciate my friends so much. I have such a diverse group of friends - I am very blessed. I think as you get older you appreciate your friends more. My kids' great-grandmother is 93-and believe it or not, she still has close friends, though their numbers are fewer each year - they still support one another. That is awesome. Don't take your friends for granted!

I am sure I am oversharing....


I just want to call up my OB/GYN and say the following,
(sidenote: I probably could call him and he would laugh at me...I have been seeing him for gulp....20 years and trust me he would not be surprised - I provide comic relief in his office!)

"Hey Dr. L, I just wanted to ask you .....since I really don't plan on having any more children...and I am growing weary of monthly pain, headaches, cramps, and the accompanying emotional roller coaster...is there a way we can take care of the uterus and ovaries so I don't have to worry about that anymore?"


I wonder what he would say...hmmmm..


(Yes I know I would have other issues to deal with...but geesh it gets harder with year of age!)

Beauty pageants.....

I have mixed feeling about beauty pageants...excuse me....Scholarship programs.

My daughter is wanting to participate in a local pageant. Dress, shoes, outfits the works.

I told her we would do it. I found two dresses for her the other day - they need some size adjustments, but hopefully a lady at church can look at them and we will see if she can help us.
They are brand new dresses-tags and all still on them-extra sequins, etc - but I got them for $10 each! I was so excited. We need shoes. I need these dresses to work - just for the financial reasons-which I am still trying to figure out.

She is so excited about the prospect of participating - I know she will do well - especially in the interview portion -she does well with public speaking.

Beauty pageants....now it is obvious we live in the south!

(I am pretty sure you won't be hearing about her on the news involved in some controversy-sorry Donald and Rosie!)

Wish us luck.

Single momhood....


It is a lonely time for me. Why this loneliness continually creeps up on me, I have no idea. But it sure is painful.

I am worried about finances...things are getting tighter and tighter. As I have written before, this is the longest period I have gone without working two jobs - and I guess I will be working a 2nd job soon - something is going to have to give. Hopefully I will find a house to clean or something like that. I like jobs that have no emotional attachment.

My daughter needs a scientific calculator, my son a workbook, and a prescription needs to be picked up - it will be put back today.

I know there are worse problems out there - but today I feel so defeated.

And alone.

I said I wasn't going to do it....

But I am watching American Idol this year. I just started watching the show last year, felt Chris should have won (yes I like Taylor-but Chris had the whole package) - but he is doing fine on his own-so there you go America! (I really was mad when he was voted off - at that point I decided most people in America wouldn't know talent if it bit them in the rear end!)

Whether the person can sing or not...you have to admire them for going after their dream...for trying. That takes courage!

It is a very addicting show - I really get attached to these kids on the show.

I will tell you this.....this is one show that brings the whole family together in one room. There we were...my mother....daughter...son and me! Amazing.

WHY THEY CALL HIM "KING GEORGE"

The concert was awesome! I had so much fun. George looked and sounded great. He proves over and over just how talented he is. His "Ace in the Hole" band sounded real good! Ronnie Milsap was awesome - if you ever get the chance to see him-take it. He rocked! Taylor Swift opened - and she was good - a bright future is ahead of her.

"King George" that is what they call him. King of Country Music. He just knows how to pick the songs and make them his own.

This was my 15th George Strait concert - and he sounds as good as he did many years ago, if not better.

Tonight is the night! A few hours from now I will be screaming with 1,000's of others when George Strait comes out on stage. I am so excited. Do you think he will see me? I am sure he will. This will be my 15th time seeing him in concert-surely he knows me by sight. I am so excited. I know it will be impossible for him to sing all my favorites, but I am so excited! Ronnie Milsap will be opening - I've heard his concerts are great! Did I mention I am excited? I am guessing by 9:00 I will be singing along to "Give it Away" or "All my exes live in Texas" I am excited-can't you tell?

Two more days until George Strait!

Yep, I will going to George in two more days! I am so excited.

Hmm..I wonder if he will notice me?

Updates!

Hi everyone. I have been out of town on business these past few days-but I am back home. Whew. I am tired.

It was good trip - very productive. It was also nice to get away from my normal routine - kind of like a break of sorts-even though I was working and/or driving the whole time.

It was good to see my kids - though I had to be "mean" mom. My son did not have his homework done when I got home last night. He said I was being too "fussy." Go figure. He stayed with my friend, S.D. Thanks my friend! My daughter stayed with my mother - and all went well. She did a good job on getting up and getting ready. I think she was nervous she would over sleep - so she didn't sleep that soundly. This morning - she was dragging!

So, that is where I have been - I will write more later.

Happy Thursday!

To D.C. I am so proud of you! You can do it with God at the controls. Hang in there. I am here for you! Love ya!

Laundry elves......where are laundry elves when you need them? They have no problem messing up the clothes and such. But where are they when it comes time to wash, dry, fold, hang-up and put-up? Oh, where are thou' laundry elf of mine?

Lazy days and the disappearance of gray hair. This has been a very restful day! I slept to 10:00 - yep you read it right - to 10:00 this morning. And it felt good. Took a quick shower and then my friend N.S. came over to highlight my hair.....excuse me....to cover up the 9 gray hairs. (She said if you could still count them, then it doesn't count as gray hair, plus she didn't see them....well duh...I pulled them out...please...what kind of southern woman do you think I am?) It was nice hanging out and talking to her as we giving the color time to "set." She really is one of the sweetest people I know. I then went to the post office followed by a trip to the store for spaghetti fixin's and have been home all day. It has been so nice. Even my daughter has appreciated the fact that we are not running 'to and fro' all day. She has lounged around in pj's and has been reading. My son is battling the German army right now (he is so into WWII). I am just about ready to iron clothes and such for the upcoming week - I am traveling out of town for work - it will be a break away from the normal routine - the getting ready part is a pain. My son is staying with a friend - so he is excited. This time next week...I will be driving to see George Strait. I am so excited!!!!!! And he won't have to worry about my gray hair.

Worry.

My biggest vice. I worry too much. I am worried now.

I know all will be okay. So why do I worry so? Worry to the point I am literally sick?

Trying to smile!

I met someone today. He talked to me and yes all my dear friends, I talked back. He seemed to be real nice. He is hockey player/construction worker/fireman cute. I liked him.

We shall see.

Dear Mrs. Ford,

Thank you for being such a fine example of Grace. You inspire me. As do your children. I know you must be tired. I hope you find rest these next few days. The services were beautiful.

Thank you for sharing your husband with the whole country - he was a good man.

I continue to pray.


Becky

Presidents, Pat Robertson and Publishers Clearing House.

Yes I know it is a weird way to begin a blog.

I have been watching President Ford's funeral services. It has to be lonely to be President. As I was watching the service held in Washington-I thought of the four living Presidents: Carter, Clinton and the two Bush men. Divided by parties and ideas. But they are 4 of only 43 men who have led our country. I am by my beliefs and thoughts not a Democrat-I am a Republican-but I do not vote straight Republican in every election - you vote for the man and the issues - not the party, yes I have disagreed with decisions our Presidents have made, but you have to respect the office no matter what party you belong. I admire all of them for different reasons, with the elder Bush being one of my favorites, maybe because he was the first man I ever voted for President. His wife I consider one of my hero's. The current President Bush-I feel for because he is taking such a beating - I like him-do I agree with him on everything? No, but I like him. You know where he stands - he doesn't candy coat his thoughts and feelings. Is he perfect? No, but no one is. No matter what you think or feel about any of these men, as I was watching them, I realized they love this great country we live in - you could see it in their eyes. And there is this kinship they share - knowing they all have dealt with the pressure and loneliness. But I also feel like none of them would trade it for anything.

Pat Robertson. Hmm. I am a Christian. Raised in Church, I actively attend and serve. He needs to hush. (I don't mean to be disrespectful) I hope and pray that his "predictions" draw people closer to Jesus. But I fear it will do the opposite - push people away from God and the church.

Publishers Clearing House. Good grief. My mother is at it again. A few years ago she was so into Publisher's Clearing House - buying and ordering stuff. My sisters and I finally got it all stopped, now she is all ready to enter again. And she wants me to enter for her...ONLINE! She is determined she will win.

These are my thoughts.

Find Becky a Fellow Campaign...

Okay, Precious I am serious. Get to work!

My car......

The verdict is in. Almost $400 after you add everything up. UGH! I am working very hard not to be sick.

It will be okay.


For those of you who want to know...it was the belt, tensioner, motor mount, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, - then I have short in the lighting system. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO there you go.

yuck yuck yuck.

I am trying to figure out why strong, capable women lose their minds when it comes to certain men? I just want to shake them. It is like they lose their identity. Does this happen to all women when they meet someone? (Does it happen to men?)

Okay. Okay. Okay. My own daughter has accused me of "blocking" men - she said I do it all the time. Geesh. Is this true I wonder? Is this why men don't "see" me? I hope I am not rude to them, I try to be nice to everyone - but do I "block" men? Hmm. Makes me wonder.

My New Years Eve. Being the party animal I am, I have decided to share with you my New Years Eve-please hold on to your hats - and please don't be jealous. First I changed...into my new soft bathrobe. I love my robe. Then I played a cutthroat game of Battleship with my son - he won - he is very good. Then we rung in the New Year with New York and went to bed. (My daughter was at a slumber party). Whoo Hoo. Life of single mom - Happy New Year. (But it is safe to say I feel really rested and less stressed than I have all week-I needed the rest)