Friday, March 29, 2013

Use this time....

Use this time to reflect on what Jesus did for us.

Imagine if you were the only one on the earth - He still would have stepped out of heaven to die for you!

He loves you that much.

Happy Easter - it's okay to eat a chocolate bunny and hide eggs, have fun and time with your family.  But remember...

For God So Loved The World, That He Gave HIS ONLY Begotten SON, that whosoever believe in HIM Shall Not Perish, But Have Everlasting Life.  John 3:16

Lord, Make me new each day. That all I do is honor you.  Thank you for The Cross and The Empty Tomb.

THE PROMISE - HE'S ALIVE - HE'S ALIVE


FOR YOU....FOR ME



Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Supreme Court

I firmly believe this is the most important week in the history of the Supreme Court since Roe v Wade.

We love others, love as Jesus loved. Respect others as we want to be respected. Treat others as we want to be treated. Agree to disagree.

But we cannot ignore, disregard God's word, His plan,and His design.

Pray.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

There's a man in my room....

The other night, mom literally came running out of her room - "there is a man in my room, there is a man in my room."

I go into her room (like what am I going to do?) It was Denzel Washington on television.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Dr. Seuss and Mom

Three weeks ago - mom could barely talk or walk for that matter.  I know she won't ever be back to her old self here on earth - and in heaven - she will be completely healthy....

But I decided to bring back Dr. Seuss into my life...for mom.  I pulled books off the shelf that I probably red a 100 times with Tori and Sam.  She is reading them - and enjoying them.  The rhythm, the rhyme and the illustrations are helping her.  They are stimulating her mind.  I am also taking a Children's Story Bible (she calls it her Sunday School Book) and we are reading it.  She likes it.  I turn the TV off so the room is quiet and we read.  I don't know how much she will remember or absorb - but for that moment there is a peace.  We pray every night - ending our prayer with "Lord, make us new, inside and out, thank you for The Cross, and may we wake up new in mind, body, spirity and attitude."  And then mom says AMEN real loud. I wonder why I waited so long to try this? 

I have also put a basket together of her Happy Meal toys and such - and we go through them one by one - naming them - working them, etc.   Heck, I even make the animal sounds.  I need some legos and linking toys - she seems to like to put things together.  I want the chunky blocks.

She doesn't need her walker -she is so much stronger than she was.  God is so good.  Thanks to Melecia - she is eating healthy, hot lunches every day!  And a breakfast to include cereal, fruit and juice.  Melecia works so hard -  mom's hair is curled every day, her nails done every week - she notices and handles the small stuff - keeping mom's dignity in mind at all times. 

We appreciate your continued prayers. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

ANOTHER FUNNY

LOCK..UNLOCK...LOCK....TAP...WAVE....LOCK...UNLOCK....


Yesterday when mom and I went out - I unlocked the doors - went over to her side to help her out. She locked the door.  I would tap, she would wave  I would unlock - she would lock.

We did this about three times.....

Finally she figured out that we needed to get out of the car.....

ha ha ha ha

Sunday, March 24, 2013

LAUGHTER....TRULY A GIFT....

Join me in a day..okay an hour of my life......

This afternoon - mom was restless - so I decided to get her out of the house.  I opened the garage - as mom and I were walking out the door - the dogs got out - I was trying to get the dogs and get mom either in the car or back in the house.......she opted for the car.

I take off to go find my mutts (when they are not doing what they are supposed to do - they are mutts - otherwise they are my babies)

I literally chase - run after them for a MILE.  And I am not athletic - however my former PE teachers would be proud. A nice lady notices me running after the dogs - she hops in her truck pulls up beside me and said - you catch them - I will give you a ride back.

I finally catch them.  (Barney could literally compete in jumping contests - he jumped boats, hydrants, etc) I get them in the car - remembering mom - I said " Oh no, I forgot my mother - she has Alzheimer's."  My rescuer said :"my mother has Alzheimer's too" - we bust  out laughing.  I have kindered spirit in the neighborhood - turns out I go to church with her sister.  Her nurse is friends with Melecia - in fact I gave her sister Melecia's number - for recommendations. I love how God works!

The run, the outing and the meeting of a new friend - made my day. And for some reason took away a lot of stress.

Mom enjoyed the outing. She ate a kids meal and pocketed the toy.

Arrrrggghhhh



THIS IS ME.
 
LITERALLY
 
Mom has kept me busy this weekend. 
 
 
Remember last weekend when she couldn't or wouldn't do anything?  And  I was feeling guilty for enjoying the quiet? 
 
Now I am feeling guilty for feeling like I am going crazy.  For barely holding on to my patience - and  for losing it about ummmmmmm dozens of times.
 
She is stronger - good thing.
She is eating better - awesome thing.
She is walking with confidence - really good - and without her walker.
However....
She doesn't want to sit, doesn't want to rest - and will not relax. 
 
Yesterday - she woke up at 5:30 and was up and going strong all day.  A few of things she did....she squeezed toothpaste all over the bathroom, unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper, took all her drawers our, pulled her mattress off the bed, crumbled a piece of cake up in the living room....you name it... she was agitated beyond belief and beyond what medicine we have. 
 
On the other hand - she wanted to hold my hand all day - sit right by me in every room, she hugged and kissed me all day (totally unlike well mom - who I can't remember a whole lot hugs from)
 
She is now into sweatshirts - leaving her sweater in the closet.  She is back to carrying her purse - emptying it a dozen times.
 
She doesn't like her new potty chair - and I have to be honest - I am going to have to replace carpet one day - ugh ugh ugh.  Going to have to get my hands on a carpet cleaner soon.  We only have this worry at night - thankfully during the day - she finds her way to the bathroom just fine. 
 
Steve and I were supposed to go out last night - I was too tired- exhausted actually.  I wasn't in the mood to go - my head was pounding....plus mom settled late.
 
Today she slept later - ate a decent breakfast. Snoozed on the couch.  Ate at decent lunch - took a good bath - but has walked a 100 laps around the house and now I am literally tripping on her. 
 
I want to say I handled this whole weekend with grace and patience - with the nomination of caregiver of the year - but far from it.  I want to say bitterness and anger haven't snuck in my mind and heart - but they have. 
 
Lord, please forgive me for giving it all to you.  For not trusting you in every circumstance.  You haven't left me, I have tried to control every situation.  I need that peace that passes all understanding.  I need that peace and comfort to enter mom in mind and heart.  Forgive me for not being patient, for yelling, for being frustrated.  Lord, this one is going to sound silly - but I need mom to feel comfortable with the different medical equipment. Please be with Tori and Sam - their mom is torn in different directions- but they do not complain.  Thank you for my husband - he struggles with me being divided into directions - but he hangs in there. 
 
Lord, as we approach Easter this week - may be never forget the meaning of The Cross and The Tomb.  Lord, thank you for loving us, for never failing us, for being Lord of all.
 
 
 
 
 

COMMENTS

I am pretty sure I deleted some comments by mistake.

Sorry!

Friday, March 22, 2013

An hour

Doesn't it amaze you just much we as wives and mothers get done in just an hour!

Lord. Thank you for the time and energy, without you I could not do what I do.

Chilis

Tonight Steve took mom and I to dinner. We went to Chilis,it was so good.

We saw my niece. Jennifer. Mom was happy to see her.

Mom enjoyed getting out with her new walker, ate all her food...then said it didn't taste good. Bahahaha

A rally....

Mom has rallied. If I had not been on this up and roller coaster ride ,I would not have believed it. Amazing!

A potty chair and a walker have been delivered. Mom took to the walker like a duck to water. She loves it. The potty chair should help us at night. She has been getting up and just going on floor. I'm going to have to clean her carpet soon. Ugh ugh ugh . Oh well!😁😏

But mom has rallied. She is feeling better. Eating. Walking and talking and is so much stronger. Praise The Lord. I give so much credit to Melecia. She has been awesome...is awesome. She takes such good care of mom. She has good ideas and is so practical. I cannot say enough how blessed we are to know Melecia and have her take care of mom. Mom loves her and so do I. We all do.

Shampoo

Why do we have like 10 different bottles of shampoo in various amounts? Various colors? For dry hair, oily hair, fruit scented, cleansing you name it.

It is now my goal to use them up.

And why does conditioner never seem to run out?

Thursday, March 21, 2013

To Mr or Ms Customer....

It doesn't help if you yell and cuss.

TRUST ME!

Mom...

Heck it it has been up and down week. I'm tired. In need of a break.

Mom had stopped eating. And then on Tuesday afternoon she started eating..maybe because of Sam? She ate decent yesterday. She had lost weight.

She is so unsteady. She fell this morning going to bathroom. We have a bedside potty chair on the way and a shower chair.

She turned into mean mom last night. Spitting medicine out and slapping me and walking strong. I had to just leave the room.

Up and down and around again. I'm exhausted. I think I could sleep for two days. We have some icky weather coming an excuse to rest.

Come on Mema....

(Told to me by Melecia)

On Tuesday, Sam arrived home from school. He said hello to Melecia and mom- went to kitchen and his room.
He came back and sat beside mom..it hit him that basically the only grandparent he's known...the one who helped raise him is not doing so hot. He put his arm around her and said "come on Mema do better...this is Sam". And he started sobbing. He excused himself to outside and collected himself.

Please pray.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Sam the high school freshman

We registered tonight. He is sticking with general studies and football. This is what the guidance counselor suggested. He can change his mind.

She spent a lot of time with us and Sam asked good questions. Admitted he wasn't a huge fan of school or studying...hence the choices above.

I think we made the right decision - he will be challenged with the opportunities to succeed.

And did I mention he's taller than me?

Sunday, March 17, 2013

HIgh School

Tomorrow we register Sam for high school..

Call me mother of the year - I forgot about open house at the high school. Geesh!  I had in my head it was tomorrow - with registration Tuesday. 

Please pray that we choose the right course of study that not only challenges Sam, but encourages him to succeed. That he will not accept mediocracy.  That he sees that there is a whole world of opportunity out there. That he is smarter than what he gives himself credit for.  Pray he is a witness.  Pray others see God in him.  Pray he is a leader and not a follower - that he doesn't even consider the temptations that will face him daily,hourly, etc.

Pray I am the mother I need to be.  To allow him to make mistakes - but to hold him accountable.  To not accept mediocracy.  That I won't lose my cool in those teen age moments that are sure to come up.  Pray I am a witness - that Sam sees God in me.

High School

Wow. 

OBSERVATIONS

There is no denying we are on a new leg of the Alzheimer journey.  I wish I could adequately explain the changes I have seen in two weeks.  But we will adjust.  We will keep going.

I have to prompt mom to eat.  Take another bite, take a sip, and so on.  She does better if I am sitting right beside her.  She ate good today - three full meals and plenty of liquids. I bought some red plates after reading a couple of articles that suggested red plates encourage/prompt  Alzheimer patients to eat,  I also picked up those plastic cups with straws - and lids.  And plastic coffee cups with sipping lids  (similar to what you get in a restaurant) so she won't spill it. 

 I gave her a bath and curled her hair - she needs help dressing now.  Or I coach her what to do - I want to keep her doing as much as she can.  She did talk to day - probably because I talked about any and everything today.  She also dusted and dust mopped. 

She went the whole weekend without wearing her beloved sweater and without carrying her purse. Strange for me to see.  She leaned toward blue jeans and a sweatshirts. 

I refuse to let her give up.  I refuse to let her quit.  I want to keep her moving and talking.  As I said before I want to just pour my will into her - to keep her going.  She knew my name today - so something is still there. She knew Steve's name and Tori's.  The person of mom is still there!  A person who deserves care, who deserves the best I can do and give.

I ask for your prayers - pray for clearer moments and physical strength for mom.  Pray I am patient and strong of heart and mind - and learn how to handle the new bumps we will face.

Sunday AM

Mom slept all night. I woke her up for potty and medicine. She seems physically stronger.

My ears kept me awake. Ugh

The child support money has not been released. Very frustrating.

I am washing Sam's bedding now. I'm going to pick up a couple Rubbermaid tubs to see if we can organize him better. Or one of those plastic 3 drawer things. I dealt with living in a small space for years...his hard hat area should be no problem.

I'm laying in bed. Waiting for Tylenol to kick in.

Have a good one

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Saturday...

We started out lazy. I have to be honest I just don't feel good. My ears are bothering me, they hurt.

Mom is mom. Today she was quiet and didn't want to eat.

I disinfected our room. Washed bedding, baseboards etc. Sam's room is tomorrow. It hasn't been that long since I did his so it is not too bad. He is a pack rat and that drives me crazy! And he has a few Ranger projects in various stages of completion. I am going to have to encourage completion! Ha! His room is at the front of the house so I need .... Ok want his room to be clean and tidy.

It feels good to have the house cleaned. I need to tackle some ironing. And clean out some paperwork, etc. get rid of some clutter. I cleaned my desk and files out at work yesterday. I needed to complete something that didn't require thinking.

Steve is feeling better. He never calls in sick but had to yesterday. He felt pretty tough. He is also working on his diet to lower blood sugar and cholesterol.

We hope to go out tomorrow sometime for our anniversary. Dinner and movie.
I hope I feel better and hope mom behaves so one of the kids can sit with her.

Have a good night!

Two more to go.....

Tonight I cleaned and disinfected the house. I have our room and Sam's room left. They are on tomorrow's agenda.

I used good ole fashioned has to be diluted Lysol concentrated cleaner...the stuff in the brown bottle. Baseboards, trim, door knobs and light switches. The top of the fridge too (eeewww...how does it get dirty?).

It so needed to be done. I am happy about being productive..with mom in bed I got a lot done. I need to wash windows. Don't know if that will happen this weekend

I am so thankful. Melecia had no idea I had been planning to clean. She and mom cleaned her room real good rearranged some things. It looks good. She definitely went above and beyond. We are blessed!

Mom musings...

Mom had a better day. It was obvious she felt better. She looks better.

However if I had not seen it myself I would not have believed it. Allow me to elaborate.

After hearing how good she did all day...I came home to pitiful mom...pitiful mom morphed into mean mom. Mean mom kicked me and slapped me when I was trying to help with clothes. Mean Mom walked with balance and strength. After she calmed down she was pitiful mom again. And could barely walk.

Arrrgghhhh

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Okay...

Okay, so I am not good at the whole babying thing.

I finally decided to be tougher on mom tonight.  She wanted me to fold something,hold a cup, etc.  I told her "No, you need to try..." I got that look that used to make 10 year old me  hide - but she did it.  Took her longer - but she did it.  Hmmph

I know she is getting worse - but I refuse to let her give up.  I wish I could pour my will into her.  But by golly if she is with me  - she is going to fight fight fight and be spunky - even if it is in 10 minute increments.

But I will enjoy the quiet times, like now, when she is sleeping soundly.

______________________________________________________________

Steve and Sam are both sick.  Sam is where Steve was yesterday - Steve is where I was last Wednesday.  They both made fun of me - and said I was wimpy - I have no sympathy. Ha ha ha ha
I guess that is bad?  Nah! ha ha ha

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Happy Anniversay Steve.

Five years!

I love you.

I can't seem to stop thinking....

About mom and the changes that have happened in 1 week - 7 days.  A lot can happen in 7 days,

She sleeps more now.
She doesn't want to be alone - even going to the bathroom.
She folds napkins and papertowels twice as much now - and no telling where we will find them.
She tries to carry on a conversation - but words fail her.
She is walking.
She is holding her head up.
She will dust if she wants to. 
She seems more timid.  She is afraid of different things - she doesn't want to walk into a room by herself.
She is still eating and drinking. But believe it or not doesn't seem that interested in sweets - and she loves sweets.
She needs help dressing.  But can tie her shoes.
She enjoyed having her nails painted - I just put a clear coat on there - and she is so proud.  She had me do mine too. 
She knows that my name is Becky.  I am not too sure if she knows I am her daughter. 
She still wants to wear the same beige sweater.
She likes me to make a big deal about feeding Noel - her Christmas Beta Fish.
She likes me to pray with her and tuck her in every night.



I am trying to imagine if "well" mom is in there - if she can see what is going on - but cannot speak.  I can only imagine the inner turmoil, pain and confusion.

I have said it dozens of times - I hate this disease.  I don't understand it.  I can't consider it "pure joy:" as James tells us - I just don't know what we are supposed to learn from it

I thought I was.....

Prepared.

Prepared for the next step or stage into Alzheimer World.

Who am I kidding?

It literally happens overnight. Mom is definitely weaker physically and is not as verbal. Though she can say some comment that is funny.

I want her going through her purse a dozen times and changing clothes more than that.

Then I feel selfish for enjoying the times she is quiet and sleeping. Guilt consumes me. I don't miss her fighting me over everything. But I miss the feisty mom. To get her moving I had to MAKE her dust. But she did it.


Dear Heavenly Father, I am tired, I am sad. I feel guilty for enjoying quiet times. You know how I feel about this disease. Please allow moments of clarity and physical strength. Thank you for the Cross.

I am

Tired.

Very much so. I am cold from the inside out.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A spoon and tears...

Yesterday mom forgot how to use a spoon.

I cried and cried. I ached.

A couple hours later she ate just fine.

There is no doubt we have turned a new corner, I just don't know what street we turned on. It is true she doesn't feel good. So we have a cold, UTI, and constipation going on...all adding to the Alzheimer's.

Thank you for praying.

.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Mom

Not feeling good at all. Please pray.

Showed up...showed out!

That is what God did!

Last August we received this thick packet from the IRS saying we owed $4,000. I disagreed, sent corresponding forms...they replied but knocked it down to $2,000.

Ummmm no!

Filled out more forms. They replied still $2,000. Ummm no! I wrote letters, asked questions, more forms. Still said we owed $2,000.00. Ummmm no! Steve was ready to make arrangements for payment.
Ummmm no! One more time, more forms a note written in black sharpie.

We received a letter today we owe nothing!!!!!!! Whoo hoo! Persistence and prayer paid off. I cannot tell you how many forms. I filled out but I knew we didn't owe it! I can see why people give up..but you can't! Keep trying.just because they are the government doesn't make them smarter or right. Don't give up!

God is sooooo good!

Other news....

Our mortgage payment lowered $150!!!!

Whoo hoo

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Project #2

Is complete!

And I'm down to 10 emails. I started with triple digits.

Whoo Hoo!!!'n

Sunday thoughts and musings....


We sprang forward - with mom sleeping late.  To 11:00.  She just does not feel good at all. But I think with her sleeping late - it has helped her adjust to the time change.  It is raining and has been a lazy day.  She ate her usual Rice Krispies and coffee.  She has a nasty sinus infection -I am pumping liquids into her big time.  She ate a good dinner just a bit ago. Earlier I gave her a bath - she sure didn't argue with me this time....but I was still wore out.  We use more towels. I so cheat.  I put on shampoo and conditioner at the same time...ha ha ha.  But she likes being lotioned, powdered and perfumed and  then we did hair. 

As I am typing this - I signed on mainly to give my brain a break - I am looking at her. She is worse than she was a month ago.  I don't know if "worse:" is the word - maybe different is the word.  I don't know if it is because she is sick and we still have some stomach issues going on.  Or are we entering yet another stage.  She is still mobile, sits up, controls her head, goes to the bathroom by herself...dresses herself (well sorta - you have to coach her)  I try to get her to do as many things by herself as she possibly can.  But she is not as verbal - and as I wrote a few days ago - cannot come up the names or words of things.  She gets upset if she can't remember her thoughts or what she was going to say.  I think about my dad.  How different things are than they were 11 years ago.  Oh, to turn back time and have the knowledge we do now.  I sure do miss him.  Having two parents with completely different forms of Alzheimer's/dementia has been and is heartbreaking. 

I have completed one work project, answered a few..okay a lot of  emails.  I received a couple of thank you emails from customers whom I helped - that always cheers me up - I am pleased when they are happy with customer service and product. I am going to work on my other project.  I started on it the old fashioned way...a legal pad. So far I have been able to read my own handwriting. And I have emails and other notes I have taken.  This is a policy and procedure manual.  Hopefully it will help us be better. 

Tori survived working 9:00 PM  last night to 7:00 AM this morning - she was supposed to get off at 5:00 but a couple of people were running late.  She was tired and dragging today.  The will have to work that shift once every week.  I so appreciate all McDonalds has done for her - but who eats fries at 3:00 am?  Oh, well - part of life I guess. And if she goes into law enforcement - she will probably be one of those buying fries at 3:00 a.m.

We received past due child support - you have no idea how this will help.   It is needed.  God is so good.  Why am I continually blown away by His provision?  Their dad is starting to do right - and hopefully he will continue.  Patience and perseverance has paid off.  it may take awhile for the state to release it. Six months. Lets pray not!

I am still sick.  I can't hold much down. So far I am keeping some homemade potato soup down.  I ate it about an hour and a half ago.  Only thing I have eaten today.  I have some in a bowl for lunch tomorrow.  I am weak and tire so easy.  I just don't understand why I don't feel better.  Please pray!  I am going to work tomorrow. 

Back to work for me.  Emails and project #2 are calling. 

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Never fails....

It never fails! I can time it.

I went to the grocery store, came home cooked a quick dinner. Normal stuff.

Sam was at a friends house they just returned from their church trip..he came home just as I finished unpacking and cooking...he ate in like two minutes...gathered up church gear and left to go back to his friends. Ha!

I say all this because I just told my friend Carla on the way home that I bought groceries and Sam would just show up to eat ... How does he know????

I think his ears are tuned to my car and my skillet. Even if he is two streets over, up the stairs and playing video games..HE
KNOWS.

Ugh!

I continue to ask for prayer....

I feel tough. I can't hold anything down. Oh me! I went to the store and it wore me out. Tori watched mom for me...I am so glad because I don't think I could have handled her.

My stomach is rolling! I don't do well with this type of sick. Ugh.

Mom doesn't feel that good...I just doctored her up.


Saturday

I want to say I feel better.  But I do not.

Okay, well maybe I feel better compared to Wednesday, I still feel tough!  What the heck?  I still ache, though not as much and I am so cold - from the inside out.  I have no energy - I guess it is going to take time.

Mom slept real late today - she seems kind of sluggish and doesn't seem to have much of an appetite today.  Judy took her to the doctor yesterday - and her problem is all sinus related.  I have a strong feeling the time change is going to throw her for a loop - she has never done well in the past - well she did better last year - because she still lived in her own home - so I changed all her clocks two days early and it eased her into it - but I didn't do that this year.  Pray I don't regret it.

Sam had an overnight trip with FCF/Royal Rangers last night.  He was excited - he left right after school.  He normally only takes his cell phone to school on Football days - well he took it yesterday - sat on it funny, it turned on and it rang - who called is beyond me -  it was taken up =rightfully so and he has after school detention this week. Which really is punishment for me - trying to get there in time to pick him up.  I know rules are rules - and I respect them and I expect my  kids to respect them - I just wish they could have them - with them TURNED OFF.  It is hard tracking kids down at after school stuff and finding them in big buildings and such.  Especially when they are walking between fields, locker rooms, buildings and and the gym. But lesson learned for both of us. 

Tori works a funky shift she is not happy about tonight. 

Steve had a busy week at work - working at not too  hot properties.  I so worry.  It seems like I see on the news everyday a shooting at one of the many places he works.  Memphis is a city in desperate need of cleaning up.  I just don't know what we...what I can do?  The police department seems to be in trouble, in the outlying communities you have corrupt mayors, etc.   Speaking of which I cannot believe that the mayor of Southaven, MS is going to run for reelection.  Surely the citizens will have some common sense.  And then research Oakland, TN mayor. Well former mayor.   Oh my - please pray.  We need to pray for our local elected officials....we need Godly leaders at every level.  But back to Memphis, you have Bellvue, Hope Pres, The Life Church, COGIC is headquartered here - but the citizens don't seem receptive to The Word that is presented on every corner.  A vicious cycle of unwed mothers, absent fathers, violence, dropouts - and it is getting worse - not better.  They are constantly starting programs and ordering studies to see what can be done - but I don't see the results - what are the results?  Geesh! 

I am totally behind on housework - it needs a good disinfecting - but it will wait a few more days.  I have kept up kitchen and bathrooms - but it needs a good dusting, mopping, vacuuming. And I am so ready to tackle outside.  Our backyard needs serious work - and I have a few ideas in my head.

I am ready to answer emails for work and complete a few  projects. I have given myself a deadline of tomorrow to complete two...and I will do it.


Friday, March 08, 2013

Five Years....

In six days Steve and I will celebrate our five year anniversary.

We have been through so much in the past five years. God provided and continues to do so. I am hoping we can take some time away together real soon. We both need it and I most certainly do. I need to take the caregiver and mom hats off for a day or two. I need to be solely wife.

As I have written before, I know all is for a season. But this season has been long and hard. And we are still on the journey. Thankfully God us carrying us.

I remember when he brought me just one little rose every week. I loved those roses.

He gives the best foot massages.

I'm praying for some time away soon!

Thursday, March 07, 2013

FLU

Yep, we've been hit.

I'm so sick and hurt all over. I have no strength.

Mom is right behind me. Please pray mom heals quickly. I know there is not much you can do for the flu, but she is going to doctor tomorrow. Judy is taking her. Pray pray pray.

Steve and the kids are fine. Thank goodness!

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

I am...

A sick girl.

I went back to work today and just couldn't make it. I had fever and felt so bad. I surely thought I would be better, especially after two shots yesterday.

I am taking the rest of the week off. I will answer emails from home. But I will rest.

Mom is okay. She was MEAN today. Bless Melecia's heart.

Please pray for us!

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

This Caregiver on This Tuesday....

This caregiver is sooooooo tired.....worn out actually.  We've had an exceptionally long day with doctor appointments.

We left early enough to eat lunch out - that was a treat!  Mom ate catfish - she absolutle loved it.  I opted for a salad, and Melecia at beef tips.  We ate at one of my favorite places to eat COLTONS in Bartlett.  When I worked in Barteltt - I ate there just about every Thursday which was my super long day at work.  Their sweet tea is good - the only problem is they sell fake Dr. Pepper...akda Mr. Pibb and yes you can taste the difference.

It was good to be with Melecia for a whole day - we put our heads together and came up with different food ideas, etc.  Mom now has a wider variety of foods for lunch - which is her main meal.  We asked mom questions about favorite foods, etc - and she told us.  She likes fish, carrots, butter beans, chicken, beans and bread.  So after we ate we still had time until our appointments - so we went to Kroger...mom sat in the car with Melecia (oh how I wish I had that all the time) - and I picked up a few things.  I am off routine in grocery shopping thanks to surgery.  But oh well.

Finally we make it to the doctor about 40 min early until my appt - thank goodness!  I was seen - was told my ears are still bad and all the glands and lymph nodes in my neck are very swollen.  It really does feel like I am swallowing glass and totally hurts to talk.  But thankfully they gave me two shots!  The awesome cocktail shot and an antibiotic shot.  I should feel better by tomorrow. And two more prescriptions.  I really think I should have taken more time off after surgery - allowing myself to heal all the way around.  Hard Lesson Learned!!!  Mom was seen - they started checking her in as I was finishing up - and they came and talked to me before mom came back to the same room so we could go over everything and get a game plan. With Alzheimer's it is hard to tell what is wrong - so they gave her a pretty good check up.  They are checking her thyroid, etc.  But did find she had a bladder infection, her blood sugar was high - they are going to check that again and let me know those results - because it could be from one of her medicines. And of course the potty issues.  Bless her heart - it is going to take a bit to get straight - but I promise I made a rookie mistake in care giving and won't happen again - I have to be on top of that.  A web site I read regularly suggested keeping a bathroom chart and diet chart to see how those two things correspond.It is just making myself do it.  Being organized enough to do it.  But 24 hours ago  - at this time - mom could not walk, could not talk - she was pitiful  My mind was already jumping to conclusions and other what if's.i was a wreck.  Shame on me!  She received a couple prescriptions -so hopefully she will feel better soon.  We were at the doctor a long time - about 2 1/2 hours. Whew.  Thankfully they called in our prescriptions and they were ready as we came home - whoo hoo!  That totally saves time.

We made it home - mom was hungry - made  her a steak sandwich - she is now dozing on the couch.
I hope to do some work here shortly - mainly checking and answering emails.  I did about two hours of work this morning and about 4 hours last night.  What an absolute blessing.  I am so thankful.

Then men in this family are eating pizza tonight - just too tired to do more than that. 

Specific prayer requests...

I have a court date scheduled for child support - I know exactly what the outcome will be.  He won't show, a continuance will be filed, blah blah blah. I called my case worker today and explained that I have missed so much work lately with surgery and being sick and with mom. She asked that I get my doctor to fax a letter and for me to send a letter to them explaining that I do care, that I am concerned - but I just can't miss.  The last court date was such a waste - I was the last one seen - and nothing was done.  It gets old. The system is full.  Thankfully their dad is attempting to do right - and has been paying something - so that is a good thing.  And I will say that.  I just want to keep it in the system - and have them collect as he works, etc. - why waste time, energy, tax payer money, my paycheck and my sanity for an unfruitful event?

Pray mom gets straightened out soon!  Pray her blood sugar reading was an error.  I know there is no cure for Alzheimer's but these small things surely worsen it. And right now I am so hating this disease.

Pray for me as Sam is so being a teenager.  I need to use discernment and wisdom. And not lose my mind with foam coming out of my mouth.  Ha!

Pray for our leaders state and nationally. There is so much going on. 

Thanks to my coworkers for yet again helping and covering for me.  I have no words as to what it means.  I am blessed. 



Monday, March 04, 2013

Today.....

Today has been tough.  I attempted to go into work - but left early. I just felt bad.  I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

I stopped at pharmacy to pick up some medicine for I think everyone in this family.  Geesh. 

I came home so wanting to rest....but poor mom.  And let me say now....Melecia has to be the most wonderful person ever!

Without trying to get gross or too personal....mom struggles with going potty.   And she eats plenty of fiber in her diet.  It is a huge issue in our lives.  A mom who hasn't gone potty  usually is a mean mom - well today she was sick mom and was miserable. She was crying.  Then she finally went potty....well that brought on another problem that required soaking bath and Preparation H.  She was still crying.  She was weak, could barely walk...much less stand.

I learned so much from Melecia today - she is just so darn good - she just handles it.  Oh, how I admire her.  Not one person could have done better.

Mom is feeling a little better, a little stronger - she finally ate some soup and a Mrs. Weaver's chicken salad sandwich.  She has finished two glasses of tea and one glass of water.  I am of the personal opinion - tea will cure anything.  Nothing like good 'ole southern sweet tea.  Whoo hoo!

I do know mom is getting worse - there is no doubt. But I have learned to watch this issue more closely - I want to try a daily dose of prune juice - not too sure she will drink it - but everything I read concerning the potty problem and prune juice - says a "shot" glass full is a miracle worker.  But getting her to drink it? That is another issue!

I am mad at myself for not being better...for not noticing these things.  I have to stay on top of it.

Please pray mom feels better....we see the same doctor - and they are seeing her right after me tomorrow.

And join with me praising and thanking God for Melecia. She is angel in scrubs! 

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Things you just don't mess with

For my sanity's sake and my mother's peace of mind - please do not mess with the image, packing, design of the following....



Because these follks did.......on their chicken salad...I could not find a picture.
But every product in their line has a new look.  Hmmph!  They have no idea what they have done!  Ha ha ha



 

OK




Ok, so I am losing my mind.

Mom has got to me today.  She has not wanted to sit or rest - and I do!  She wanted and I am sure needed attention I did not have in me to give today.

As far as my ears go, if I am not better in the morning - I am calling doctor for a shot. What  happened to shots anyway?  Growing up, if I was sick, I knew I was getting a shot.  Plain and simple.  You got well a whole lot faster.  Back to not feeling better, I am now coughing my head off and I feel as if it is going to my chest - time to bring out the VICKS. And it hurts to talk!



The weekend, mom,ears and such....

I left work on Friday - so tired.  Blaming it on being back at work full time from surgery.

I woke up Saturday morning -sick.  Sore throat, bleeding ears and nose. . I went to the only open place locally - Walgreen's clinic.  I have a ruptured ear drum, sinus infection...the usual blah stuff. 

Mom has been box of chocolates mom this weekend - you just don't know which mom you are going to get hour to hour - but yesterday she was a combined sweet, delightfully confused, loving mom.  Kind of like Turtle candy -a pleasant mixture. Though she was sweet - she was antsy. Steve wanted to go to Bass Pro, and we planned to go - but I felt so bad - but both of us knew mom needed a change of scenery.  So off we went.

First thing through the door - the deers - mom loved those.  We saw the fish - she enjoyed those.  She was thirsty - and here is the funny part - so we went to the restroom and the water fountain.  A hoot - I could not get her to understand how to drink from the fountain - (and normally I run from fountains - but it was bothering her, I forgot water bottles, her lips and mouth were dry) she kept backing away from the fountain - I showed  her how to do it - still no luck - she washed her hands in the fountain - so funny.  She finally scooped water with her hands.  I bet we were at that fountain 15 minutes. 

Thankful for the kindness of strangers............

Every person mom saw she said hello to and wanted to hug.  And I guess folks picked up on the Alzheimer's because not one person turned away. She was hugged, patted, and made over.  What a blessing.

Corky's........

After Bass Pro - we went to Corky's BBQ,  (If you are not from Memphis - look it up)  awesome BBQ!  Steve's oldest met us and we enjoyed time with him.  Mom said she wasn't hungry - but
ate her sandwich and fries. And I love love love their potato salad.  Yum Yum. That is the way it is done.  So if you come here eat at Corky's.  Or the Rendezvous (I love the BBQ nachos here) or Neely's for good Memphis BBQ.

$50.........

I received a refund check from a doctor in the amount of $50. Well!  So that is how we paid for Corky's. A neat treat!

Home.........

I have continued dressing mom for bed, tucking her in and praying with her.  She went to bed so much later than usual- but slept all night and slept late this morning.

Tori......

Tori had rough weekend - her glasses and her phone break. The glasses can be repaired  - the phone no - but can still be used.  She and her newest fellow - seem to be doing well. And shhhhh we like him!  He works at Haddads (department store in Munford - if you can't find it anywhere - go to Haddads - they sell a little bit of everything) 

Sam.....

Sam participated in pinewood derby with Royal Rangers at church - they lost  something about their axles.  But he had fun.  He starts football for HIGH SCHOOL tomorrow.  Weight Training.  I am glad - he needs the physical outlet and a change of scenery.  I have told him he doesn't have to play - his choice - but he needs to do something for exercise. He does better in school.  He needs to be part of something.  I don't really care what it is - but at school - you build friendships when you are part of group - and sure makes life easier. Sam is a big ole teddy bear - but he does not tolerate anyone bullying anyone - it upsets him so - so he always leans toward being friends with those who seem to need "protection" (don't know if that is the best word  to useor not)  His best bud in the neighborhood is so small compared to Sam - not in height - but all other sizes - and since they were younger- Sam protected him from mean kids. Other mothers would brag on him.   So like it or not Sam is a mother hen like his mother and sister.

Today......

Today - my ears are killing me.  The pain is unreal,  if a nurse were to ask me to say what my pain scale is - I would say a 10.  I am miserable.  I have lived on Tylenol, Advil and ear drops today.  I don't feel good at all.  I literally have been so lazy today.  I picked up and took a shower and that is it.  I washed and dried laundry - and for a bit it piled up - but after a nap I folded and put away.  Mom had a lot in there for some reason.

As I write, I have some minute steaks baking in the oven.  I plan to cook a few veggies and that is it.

Mom woke up mean this morning.  uh oh.  She leveled off after lunch.  Right now she is really confused and can't form sentences and words (so different from last night) - I hate this disease.

I gave her an ice cream bar a few minutes ago after she took her medicine - she first didn't want it - until she took first bite - she said...hmmmm that is good and wolfed it down.

I need paper towels and aluminum foil.  Someone bring me some!  ha ha ha

Lap top.....

Because I have to go in late every day, to accommodate mom not being alone - I have always missed time and pay at work.  It was adding up. But you do what you have to do.  However, my employer has graciously supplied a laptop for me and I have been able to make up my time here at home.  It is awesome answering emails from home.  You have to know the second I arrive at work I am on the phone. And what should take 5 minutes - sometimes takes me an hour to get done - because I am constantly interrupted.   I talk all day long to the point I am hoarse - have no clue how I am gonna do it tomorrow-it hurts to swallow and talk.  (Please pray).  I've had two 40- hour checks - and that hasn't happened in over three years.  I am so thankful my employers and coworkers understand aging parents, family, ball games and such.  What a blessing. 

Now about those paper towels.....(I bet you thought I forgot didn't you..since I am rambling so...)




Friday, March 01, 2013

Mom

I am sad. Mom is declining.

It is more obvious this week. She is still mobile but her words are jumbled, scrambled, and way out there.

Now with this crazy disease of Alzheimer's - she could rally tomorrow. I hope.

Please pray...she fell today trying to sit down.

Tomorrow we are taking her to Bass Pro. I'm going to talk to management and see if they will let her do some kid stuff.

I want to know the purpose of this disease. The pain and heartbreak it brings seems endless.

I've been praying with her. Holding her and praying. This little woman who used to be so grouchy and mean when she was healthy...who was never affectionate holds on tight and wants me to tuck her in... who loves to have a bunch of kisses on her cheek. I just want to hold her tighter and turn back time.

On a lighter note...when I helped her get her pjs on she said "Becky don't mess up my hair." She smoothed her hair out and laid down. And reminded me she needs lipstick. Ha!

No offense....

But Pope Benedict is not Jesus. And I'm sure he would say the same thing.

Allow him rest and privacy. I have this image of him taking off the heavy robes in his retreat and putting on flannel pajama pants, having a bowl of cereal and enjoying the quiet and the less fuss.

Only me!!

Well, maybe Carla and Diane.

I left early this morning...no small fete. Planned on dropping car off for new brakes and two new tires. Next month I hope to buy the other two.

I had a blowout!

The guy who stopped and helped me....
Saw it happen , I was in traffic, said I handled it like a champ! I was on the phone with Diane! I got off real quick. Was able to control car.

Thank you God for your protection and your provision for new tires! What a blessing.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Happy Birthday Diane!

Love you!

They're heeeerrrrreeeee

Girl Scout Thin Mints.

Whoo hoo!

Steve bought me two boxes and then expected me to share!!! Hmmph. I think not. Love only goes so far. Ha ha