Friday, January 31, 2014

Friends since they were twelve - married for 51 years....

I talked to Lollie's husband yesterday - to see how he was doing.  He said living without her is one the hardest things he has ever done. 

He has found around the house - notes written by her -  on how to do things - where things stood in the process......not because she knew what was happening - as reminders to herself - but she is helping him with the notes - and I can so picture her handwriting.

He told me the sweetest thing....he said "we were married for 51  years - but she has been my friend and playmate since we were both 12."  (She died at age 71)

What a testimony of love and marriage.

A funny....

Thanks to my sister from different parents....

Here is a funny!

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.   The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.  She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you."
The husband texted back to her:  "I'm on the toilet.
Please advise."

Wednesday, January 29, 2014


To sigh or huff less.
Talk slower and less.
Listen More


Tori surprised me today -with girlie stuff.  Make up, hair spray, nail polish, body wash, and even a blow dryer.  Truly a surprise.

I needed it. 

I love you Tori - thank you.


I tried to watch it - I lasted two minutes. And from what I understand I missed the opening and the wedding ceremonies.

They did put the Christian artists on air - that is not right - some caught flack for leaving after their acceptance speech - some didn't go.  Now they are criticized for their beliefs.

I don't understand - everything that dishonored God was shown on air - and you can tell by the many posts, articles - many were offended.  But Christian artists were not showed on air.  I guess they (producers and networks) were worried they would offend others.

I pray people will turn to God - give Jesus a chance - I am thinking they would be surprised at how their lives would change. Can you imagine how God would work if some of these main stream artists turned to God and changed their music?

Most of these artists will tell you they started in the church choir....hmmmmm.  Are we letting the world in or pushing God out?  Or both?

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


I am reading this book - I should have started reading this about five years ago...

I have already learned much - and feel better knowing I have done some things they suggest.

I highly recommend this book.




A Proper Goodbye

I am deeply grieving Lollie - my friend and mentor.  I don't know if it because I wasn't able to attend the services - but I ache. 

Is this normal?  This pain? I know she is heaven - but goodness she was an angel on earth.

She gave me a gift subscription to this magazine for Christmas - and I found over 24 books she has given to all of us all throughout the years. 

I needed a proper goodbye.


We are going to disagree.  We will not like all that we hear.  I am watching the State of Union - and I can read some of the faces of our leaders....

But we must pray for our leaders consistently.  We can agree to disagree.  But we must pray. 




Okay, mom's appetite sunk a new low.  And so has her weight.  So, I get this brilliant idea - I bought Boost - oh, mom loves it - and it was helping her!  We (Melecia and I) were so excited.  We were making milkshakes and such with it - and mom was gulping it down! has a teeny, weeny flaw......  has no fiber...... and can cause constipation!  Can't win for losing. Traded one problem for another.

Constipation is an issue - mainly because mom does not want to take the time to sit to go potty - she fights us - it is unreal!  Then we have a nightmare - that takes a lot of work to solve - and everyone involved is exhausted and frustrated. 

Good grief. 

Her doctor called in medicine that increases her appetite and Praise the Lord - mom is eating without coaxing - you have no idea how that makes us feel.  She needs to gain weight - there is no doubt.

Here is a pic of her ---- see how skinny?  And why we were worried? Granted these clothes are more fitted and her frame is more obvious - but she looks better in them!  She weighs about 125 lbs - we are not in a danger zone - and I wanted to keep us from going there. So thankfully medicine is working and she is eating - please pray it continues.

Care giving is trial and error - we are still getting used to Depends undergarments and still trying to get her stay continent and on a regular schedule.  Allowing her to do as much for herself as she can.  Cut her food in finger size bites - that she can pick up - and ignore messes.  To cherish her dignity - to have her dressed, with make up perfume, nails done each day - to keep her clean and the house clean and smelling good. 
Care giving is hard - and somehow I thought we would be past violent stages - but they have resurfaced -but I have been studying - that is their way of acting out - because they don't know how to express themselves. 
Care giving, not going to lie, is exhausting in every sense of the word.  I am not going to lie, I can make jokes and laugh, but there are times I react badly.  I scream, fuss, slam, step outside - it is release - I have to let it out.  And then I feel guilty. 
Care giving is a ministry.  This is my ministry right now.  I miss teaching, miss kids - but this is where God wants me to be serving at this time.  However, all I do, I need to work to glorify God. 
I thank you for prayers and encouragement.

Sam at the doctor.......

Sam had to be checked out of school on Monday - sick.  Sooooooo we went to Fast Pace Urgent Care in Covington, (awesome by the way) after I got off work. 

Mom had to go with us.  Let the adventure begin!

It was peak sundowning time - and boy did mom let her presence be known in the doctor's office - she was like a kid.  She wanted water (I brought water bottles---but she wanted to go outside!) She wanted Chapstick - had that one covered - she wanted to look at books - covered - had to go potty - hmmmmm - she would not use their potty - so she let me and everyone else know that she had to go.

We finally get to a room - Sam is feeling terrible at this point.  But look at these pics - you tell me who looks more miserable?  I call it a tie.  (I am not pictured - but I was stressed - and could be pictured here)

Sam's diagnosis - red throat, fever and sinus infection - he was probably one day away from strep.  He felt tough.
We leave the office - or try to.  Mom becomes a statue.  She won't budge - she thinks the ground is a hole..... Sam bless his heart - picks her up cradle style - and places her in the car...she was only worried about her HAIR.  She was stiff as a board. Took us forever, it seemed, to get her limp enough to buckle her up. 
We have to wait for prescriptions that were called in - we go to Wendy's - I pick up through drive - thru - I just get mom, Sam and Steve something - I wasn't in the mood.  Mom takes her nuggets and fries bite by bite - whew! 
We go to Walmart and they show us having no insurance - so we have to get that straight (mom and Sam were in the car) - that was another 30 minutes..... ugh.
We finally get home - mom was so tired she was literally like a drunk - just had to pour her into bed.
Geesh - this on top of the BOOST story - it deserves a post of it's own.
Sam stayed home today - he is taking medicine and is feeling a little better. 
I just wish I had help yesterday - but did not - but we made it - I can laugh today - but last night - I could cry.  Thankful for doctors.....thankful for laughter!

Monday, January 20, 2014

So Far....

Mom is having a good day so far. I did change up meds this morning. I do know I need to add am appetite stimulate to her diet...she eats...but has lost weight. Part of it I believe is that she literally is never still. She did eat cereal, eggs, a biscuit and potatoes.

I plan to try to clean stains out of carpet ... On how I selfishly wish for new flooring...the laminate like in our living room would be wonderful.

She is dusting and mopping right her element. She's cleaned up already...did that first thing.

I have work to do emails and reports....

And we need to make a store run.

Blessed that we slept all night!

Sunday, January 19, 2014


I did manage to get some housecleaning done this weekend - going to try to get some stains out of carpets. 

I gave both dogs a hair cut and a bath, after I gave mom a bath - then scrubbed that bathroom top to bottom - washing the bathroom rugs and such now.  Believe or not the dogs were easier than mom.

I have dusted the rooms - nothing detailed -but I feel less lazy.  Floors mopped - even the back porch thanks to Sam cleaned off.

Steve and I took his youngest to a dinner and movie last night - he is on his way back to Colorado - he came for a week - I think he was homesick.  I do wish he and his girlfriend would get married.  It is hard leaving my mouth closed on that issue.  He is doing fine - Colorado seems to agree with him - he skis and snowboards.  His other two sons are doing fine. 

They saw Jack Ryan - I needed space and light hearted - I saw the Disney movie - Frozen - very good by the way.

There are some other stress issues I am facing and if you know me - you know what they are. 

Thank you for praying.

Alzheimer's Wrestling Match

Today has been a day.  I am a wreck.  I am crying now as I type.  Wondering how much longer I can do this, knowing full well, mom is staying here. 

I have been hit, punched, kicked, spit on, hair pulled - you name it. Mom has been going strong since early this morning - except for a brief nap between breakfast and lunch.  Bath time was horrible - but it needed to be done - we didn't take one yesterday.

We were considering selling mom's house - but we can't because we cannot show any income - or we would lose her care.  Never mind the fact that mom has a reverse mortgage on it - and the profit would be minimal - we consulted with two men from church after talking to human services and they said it wasn't worth the risk of losing her care.  This is a government rule.  Oh, they...or human services said - we could sell it - but it we would have to immediately spend the money on her.  There was no explaining ruined carpet, or blinds that have been replaced twice, broken teeth, lost work time and stress - the woman could have cared less, I heard it in her voice.  You would have thought we were going to make a million dollars.  Hmmmmmppppphhhh.

Mom is still restless, but I am unsure of what medicine to give her - because she spit some it out - I am waiting just a bit more and take a chance.

I ask for prayers!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Hard day

For the first time in a long time work drove me to tears from stress and demanding folks. An ugly email didn't help. I hid in the warehouse to let the tears flow...I guess I needed the release. 

Praying for a better tomorrow. May my words and actions honor God.

Funny thoughts....

these were on Facebook....and they just made me laugh at the end of a stressful day! 

Random quotes....

Eating Dinner....

Mom had a good day today. When I arrived home from work, she was dust mopping...she stopped, gave the mop to me and told me to get to work.  Ha ha!

Here she is eating dinner. She ate all the cooked carrots...her favorite, plus the remainder of her meal. Melecia baked the chicken for us...we are so blessed.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The shoes don't match...

When I put mom's pajama's on tonight - she said her penguin pj's do not match her church shoes.


How do you??

How do you get over hurtful words from someone you were not expecting?

As customer service, I am yelled at, fussed at, cussed at - you name it. 

As mom's caregiver - goodness knows I hear it from her in every shape or form.

In other life situations - I hear it.  But today someone really wounded me - and I am not too sure I can recover. 

I am not one to stay mad - I believe in giving people space and allow them to sort through their mind and heart - I am, and some of those closest to me - will verify - quick to forgive - I process it - and truly forget it - I don't believe in bringing it back up.

But this time - I could just cry some more.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Aunt Lollie......

My friend, mentor, Tori and Sam's great Aunt on their dad's side, Laura Karney, has passed away unexpectedly last night. I have absolute assurance she is in heaven.

I don't have enough words in me to describe her. Or to even say how much I love her and will miss her.

To have known her was to love her. She served God in so many ways, through church, taking care of our Grand- now 100 years old, loving her sweet husband, Bob, her children, Stephen, Shawn, and Shannon. Loving and ever so proud of all grandchildren.

She loved to give books as gifts, to me anyway and I am sure many others. She would write in the cover of each one, date it with and encouraging note. I received a text from her on New Year's Eve and just the other day one with a picture of Grand and her first great grandbaby.

Technically, I am not family, but she and I were always friends. She gave the best advice and always encouraged me. When I married Steve - she said, "I love him already - just because you do."

All through the years the kids would wait for their "Lollie" package at Christmas - because it was packed with love and the most unusual things. Funny socks or pj's, a Christmas ornament with their name, and treats - always accompanied by a letter full of news and words of love.

It is safe to say, you will not find one person on this earth who will have one bad thing to say about her - it will be all be good. She never said anything bad about anyone - she looked for the positive and how to overcome an obstacle...her phrase when bad news hit... "Oh, my glory." And she would pray.

To, Bob, Stephen, Shawn, Shannon and all her babies - she loved you all. Thank you for sharing her with the rest of us. I am a better person for simply knowing her.

To my friends, please pray for her family and friends.

Laura "Lollie" Karney - I love you and always will.

Sunday, January 05, 2014


I work outside the home.  My employer is kind enough to allow me to make up time from home when I cover lack of nurse times for mom.  My plate is pretty full

My question is work divided up in your home?  Who does what?  I am trying not to start a battle or arguments - but just wondering how others do things - how can I...we improve...

There is no doubt...

I promise I find joy in the day.  I am the recipient of God's blessings and provision...daily. 

But I have to admit, and I am being honest.  I am exhausted - there is not doubt about that.  I did not get my usual weekend rest time - routine was off a tad.  Every joint in my body hurts - elbows, shoulders, knees, ankles - and this cold is not helping.  This has been a consistent happening for the past two months.  I first blamed taking care of mom - her pulling on me, me helping her up, carpal tunnel-but that would explain the wrists and arms...I am thinking I need to go to the doctor.  What do I say - "hello, my eyelashes even hurt."


Okay, this isn't our door - but looks like it and wall colors are similar.  Steve and his brother Ronnie put up a door that will now give Sam more privacy. This door closes from the kitchen to Sam's room - we had temporary folding doors up there - but they were not working. 

I am so excited - I so appreciate this door, as does Sam.  We have to remember that Sam gave up his room when mom moved in.  We plan next to get better doors in entry way - that will really give him privacy.

Thank you to Steve and his brother - I really do appreciate it.  Diamonds would not


I'm cheating again - copying from Facebook.

From today:

I just did our regular grocery shopping today - to be honest I wasn't even thinking about the weather - I kid not - milk and bread down to bare minimum - and even funnier - almost out of potato chips - more specifically tortilla chips for a casserole. Too funny.

Mom is all over the house...walking and such. However she says her leg is broken.


From yesterday:

Okay - a day with an Alzhiemer's patient outside the safety and sanity of the four walls of our home.

She woke up in a great mood - ate a good breakfast.

Getting mom was easy thanks to Mary Scruggs, she was here and kept mom busy so I could get cleaned up, then she was able to help me get mom in the car without mom arguing or fussing.

We leave, pick up Nancy L. Brister Slone and head to New ...Image - mom's gets her hair done - we take her potty - she doesn't need to go. We get in the car and she says she has to go to the bathroom and is hungry - mind you this is no where near any business. We arrive at Colton's - go potty, the hand washing was an experience....we get to table, order food, mom immediately starts cleaning table and the peanuts are worrying her to death - she is wanting to sweep. Eating lunch was like eating with, two sets of twins...but she did eat! The food and time with Nancy was great.

We leave Coltons - head to Kohl's - mom doesn't want to get out of car - she holds onto car for dear life - we get her in the wheelchair - and I kid not - as we enter Kohl's mom is yelling "Help, help...." I get on her level and sshhhhhh her. She quiets down. We get our shopping done - and head home. (by the way - I treated myself to a few things)

Thanks to her medicine I give her - she calms down and the car ride is quiet - we take Nancy home - and mom says she has to go potty - so I stop at Fast Times - we get out of the car - walk in - and she changes her mind - after we get in the bathroom. I buy some we attempt to walk outside - mom freezes - she refuses to leave - won't budge - she tells a guy who is very kindly holding the door - that "this girl is trying to kidnap me...." he doesn't miss a beat and says "I see why..." we get to the car and arrive home - she again doesn't want to get out of the car.

We have made it inside - and she has rearranged a few things - just slipped and fell, not hard, moving a chair.

I think it is safe to say - our big shopping times are will just be Dollar General for us. She does need to get out and do things and see other people.

I can't worry about how she acts - she cannot help it. I must concentrate on my reaction. Hard to remember when you are being accused of kidnapping. Lol. Or when she is mean mom. But reaction is key. My attitude is key.

All being said, I enjoyed seeing Nancy and spending time with her. She had a rough six weeks - but has handled everything with grace.
What a day yesterday was!

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

New Years Day

It was a quiet day. NCIS marathon...and we have watched it!

We did sleep woke up sweet and was calm most  of day. We lounged around....sundowning came at 4:00-and she rearranged furniture...but calmed down.  Alzheimer's, I will never understand it. I gave her a late bath followed by a snack and she went to bed soon after.

Sam is spending the night with his best bud, Ryan. Tori did not feel 100% today...she did not go into work. She is too much like her mom...insomnia hits her at times. Steve took a meal and some medicine along with juice to his dad...he has the flu. I intended to make potato soup for him  but while mom was sliding furniture across the floor...I became distracted...turned burner up instead of down...and scorched soup does not taste that great. 😬 hopefully he can enjoy the chili I made. 

I ask for prayer...I am having severe body aches/joint pain. I don't know if it is from caring for mom and such, typing (carpal tunnel), but it is like I have attacks of pain and fatigue. Right now I am hurting. 

I pray this is the year of my mouth makeover. It has to be done. Sam needs to go also. 

We spent New Years Eve with friends...home by 10!  Good to spend time with them...we talked the whole time! Once home I watched the ball drop in New York and went to bed. 

Tomorrow is back to work..praying for renewed focus as we begin a new year and folks are receptive to change-change means growth. I hope I am a good example. I need to be positive. My goal is to improve morale and trust. Two things lacking. 

Mom and Melecia...

Melecia was on vacation last week. Mom was so happy to see her!

Mom sleeping on couch with her babies


Happy New Year!

Christmas pictures...

The day was busy, chaotic, but sweet. My favorite time is when it was down to just our kids. I did learn to adjust times and days next Christmas.

Sam modeling his Christmas Eve gift from Tori. They always exchange gifts Christmas Eve.
Tori was first one up Christmas morning. She is wearing her pj pants from Sam.
Steve received pj pants and a movie.
Tori's favorite.
A much waited for game.
Merry Christmas from mom!
Tori and mom.
Mom and kiddos

She was through with pics by the time it was my turn.
Hubby and I.
Steve with two of his boys...Steven and Brandon. Davin is in CO.

Steve and kiddos.
Mom modeling Christmas pjs the day after...
Steve and his dad
Gaming Sam.
Tori---self portrait

We are blessed!