Monday, December 27, 2010

Had a wonderful Christmas....

Peaceful...

Family and Friends.


What a blessing!

Friday, December 17, 2010

I am sooooooo sleepy today.

We may get to shop today. I hope so.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ghosts?

Are they real? Do you believe in them?
Handling what life gives you....

My mother has Alzheimer's...she is going down fast mentally.

She spent the night at my house last night and will probably do so again tonight...I want her used to the house...she feels pretty comfortable..comfortable enough to let me know my refrigerator is cleaner than she has ever seen it. She knows where the cups are, the towels, and the broom - she likes to sweep. She made Sam's bed...it was bedtime. Ha!

I hate that we .... she has to go through this. Though it has been almost 9 years since Dad passed away...the memories of his fight with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's are fresh in my mind - as if they were yesterday.

Each day will be an adventure...sad, funny, confusing, chaotic all at the same time.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Turn around moment...

We all have them, those turn around moments, some call them LIGHT BULB or A-HA moments.

A friend of mine, A.P. - gave me some advice or not so gently suggested to stop putting things off or avoiding issues...and I knew I am guilty of that - but didn't realize how much so until she said it.

Now, I have a long way to go to get things taken care of - but now I tentatively have a plan.

1. I am working on child support - should have done it a long time ago - and a huge weight has been lifted.
2. My sister and I have talked and share more this past weekend than we have in a long time. I am blessed to have her.
3. My mom - she won't get better - but we have a plan - though flexibility is key.
4. Most importantly...very important...I have drifted so far from God, that is why my priorities are not straight..that is why I have become an avoider of everything in life. I am not prayed up, confessed up, read up or even close in fellowship with other believers. I firmly believe that is why I am not seeing success, peace, and rest., fighting guilt..it is a painful lesson...but one I have learned from..now need to apply. I have to and need to allow God to change me.

I am also appreciative of my friends, D.C. in particular. She loves unconditionally. No judging. Just that warm voice on the other end of the phone.


I want to be a better mom to Tori and Sam.

I love my husband Steve - I need to do better by him...

Thank you for your prayers.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Well, heck. I am still sick. Pneumonia - to date I have had 15 shots, breathing treaments, and am the owner of an inhaler. I haven't slept in two nights because of coughing and such. Last night I gave up at 1:30 - got up and ironed. At least that is done.

We have taken a huge financial hit. I am worried about bills and Christmas. And I just don't feel good. I have no sick days left.

Ex-hubby totally behind (4 months-well three because when he lost his job we told him don't worry about Sept - now he is working two jobs) on child support...will have to take legal action - geesh I don't want to. I keep willing the mailman to bring a check that covers it. It is the last thing I want to do - I am dreading it - I hate hate controversy. I like to blend. The very fleshly part of me wants to keep the kids from going up to where he is (the plan is the day after Christmas - they really don't want to go - and we are picking them up earlier than usual - because they want to come home)- but that is not right. We just wanted to see some effort - I told him just to mail $25 a week until he could get caught up - that would cover haircuts and school stuff, you know? But if I go to child support services I am going to ask for also his part in regard to health insurance. I pray a check arrives today.

I am going to quit whining now....we have much to be thankful for.





In other news.....

Tori turned 18...we got her a camera and went shopping Sunday for a dress for "Oscar Night" (senior awards). She is doing well in school.

Sam is doing good in school also. He is growing up.

Steve is on vacation this week. He is just hanging out at the house. He went to dr with me yesterday.

Mom is still mom...wearing me out she is!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Updates...

My tripple whammy turned to pneumonia. Just now getting over it.

Mom is still mom...Alzheimer's a little worse.

Tori will be 18 this week...Happy Birthday Tori! Love you!

Sam is getting tall!

Have not bought the first Christmas present!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A coworker/supervisor passed away today after a battle with cancer. Active in church and community. He leaves behind his wife, two children, grandchildren and his 82-year old mother. No sibblings.

I hurt for his whole family - but it is his mother whom I ache for.

Pray for his family.

Monday, November 15, 2010

TRIPLE WHAMMY

STREP THROAT

BRONCHITIS

EAR INFECTION


WHO?


ME!!! UGH!!!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

$8.63


Today I was in Dollar Tree- for those who don't know - this is a store where everything is a $1.00 - and I heard this elderly couple talking on an aisle- they were probably in their 80's - - they were planning 4 days worth of meals - they were waiting on their check that would be in the bank on Monday. They had spaghetti o's, a frozen pizza, soup, some vegetables, chicken salad, juice, bread, and a few other things. Well then I got behind them in line - and they didn't have enough money. $8.63 short.

They shouldn't have to worry about stuff like that - especially in a Dollar Store.

I was blessed to help out - but wonder if they will be in the same boat in a few weeks.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mom has kept me busy for the past few days. I am ready for her to move in - just so I know everyone is in the same place and I won't be on the road as much. But I know her moving in will present a whole new set of challenges.

I haven't been feeling too hot of late - I am tired- not sleeping -stressed - I need a new job- the one I have doesn't pay enough-though they are very flexible with all that goes on in my life - that is a blessing. I am customer service - and people are so mean to folks on the phone. Be kind to all the customer service people you deal with - it really isn't their fault.

Tori has SENIORITIS - she is ready to be finished.

Sam is about to be a teenager - that will be fun.

Church is nice- we are fitting in with our new church family.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Finally.....

It feels like fall and it rained some last week. Whew it has been so very hot and dry.

Halloween is this weekend. Sam will dress as the Grim Reaper - the county in which we live - every community is on a different Halloween Schedule - makes it for a confusing but fun and busy time.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The kids have been away this week on fall break trips and such.

This mama bird is ready for the chicks to return to the nest. I missed them.

Tori came home last night bringing along with her dirty laundry, dishes left everywhere, an energy that missed terribly and a smile that brightens my world.

Sam is coming home today. I bet he will seem taller.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Needing to be needed.......

My mother spent the night with us on Friday night - I am actually trying to do this more often - to let her get used to the house and such, because I know one day - very soon - she will move in with us.

She wanted KFC - so that is what we had - KFC. She then offered to clean the kitchen - we didn't use any dishes and such (used paper plates) - and I told her as much - but she went in there anyway and started cleaning - well she detailed cleaned! (Her house is spotless) - she just cleaned and cleaned - enjoyed it. (she loves to clean and organize)

You know what she said to me? "Well, Becky, you can't help it if you work - and can't clean house." (like my house is a garbage dump! ha!)




But all kidding aside- this made me realized - she needs to be needed.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I have forgotten how to relax.

Or let me put it this way...I am not allowing myself to relax.

I used to read to relax..somehow that has been pushed to the side...but no more....I have started reading again and am enjoying it. Maybe it is not the straight into the night reading like I used to - but now it is a few minutes on my lunch break...or a few minutes before bedtime -but I am enjoying it.

This past week - I read my Bible more - now imagine how much better my week went! God is good ...and when you are closer to Him...life is better. Mind you not easier...just better knowing you are closer to Him.

________________________________________

Friday, September 10, 2010

Busy times.....

The new school year is busy as every. Both kids brought home pretty decent interim reports last night. Especially proud of Sam's math grade. Whoo hoo.

Tori's senior year seems to be flying by - I hope she is enjoying it. Sam is learning much in football - it is hard for him to practice a lot and not play a game - but his day is coming- we tell him he has to "pay his dues"

Mom is still the same - at times the Alzheimers is worse - and it is not a matter of if but when she moves in with us.

Work is okay for me - I want something else -and one day that something else will happen.

Church is great - we have started teaching children's church - kids are sweet and funny.

Steve is working hard - he was so tired last night.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Sam made the football team!

Yeah!

We are all so excited and very proud. He tried out and made it.

Way to go Sam!

Monday, August 02, 2010

Back to School..


Well - tomorrow begins the school year. Actually it is a 1/2 day for registration - then they start full time next week.

Sam's first year in middle school. Wow. I no longer have an elementary student in my household. I am about to enter the teen years with him.

Tori and Steve's youngest are about to enter their senior year. I can't believe my girl is a senior. I am so proud of her.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Parenting your parent...

My mother seems to be in the first stages of Alzheimer's (my dad and three aunts suffered, and it is suffering from it) and she is keeping me hopping.

It is heartbreaking, exhausting, and frustrating at the same time.

Some of the things she says and does will make you laugh and if you are down - cry like a baby.

Decisions will have to be made in the upcoming months.

I know God will guide us to make the right ones.

Your prayers are appreciated more than you can know.

Monday, July 12, 2010

A shift....

Well I knew it was coming.....

The "official" shift from little boy to preteen.

Hmmph.

We had a Sunday School Social at our home on Saturday night - (it was fun by the way, we watched Blindside and had a dinner of cold cuts and such) - everyone brought their kids - and well my son ditched the younger boys playing Nerf guns and other stuff. And ended up sitting on the patio in the middle of about 4 12-13 year old girls.

Hmmph.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Balance....

Trying to find balance. I was home a short time - but it doesn't take long to get used to something does it?

Working full time, yard work, housework, part-time job on weekends, kids, mom, family, church...and wait until school begins. I know God will direct me - I must put him first before all and the rest will fall into place. But I am so hard headed at times!

Tori and Sam are fine. Busy. Tori goes and goes! Sam does too. He is so tan from swimming and playing outside.

I have two days off scheduled in August - I am looking forward to them.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Senior Pictures....

Tori had senior pictures today...we went to lunch and did a little shopping. It was a fun day. I even managed to grocery shop today.

A movie....
Tonight Steve, Sam and I plan to go see the new Karate Kid movie.


A goal....
I am going to really work on time management and organization..two things I used to excel at, now I stink at.

The weather...
It is hot. Plain and simple. Miserable hot.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Updates...


Well, I started my job this past week. I worked there 12 years ago - I left when Sam was born. I was thinking if I had known then the journey that I was about to take, I would have stayed. Whew! But all happens for a reason.

I am starting out at the bottom and my ego was bruised for a minute - but it is better than no job at all. I will continue to do my part time bookkeeping job from home and Steve and I will deliver books each week - both little jobs help out tremendously. I will have to be in check with my attitude though, I get bored - but I will dust and such if I have to. I believe firmly in working while at work!

Tori is blessed to be in Gulf Shores this week with a friend and her family - they go every year and called and invited Tori - she was so excited. It gives me a whole week without worrying about her on the road! ha ha! I know she will have fun. She's had a week of stuff happening - her phone broke, her battery had to be replaced in her car, etc. Whew.

Sam is going to a friends house later this week for a few days - a home of 6, yep count 'em, 6 boys. They will swim, run and play. This used to be his babysitter - and he always had a good time with them. This will be good for him. He tried out for football last week - we will know in August - there is a camp he will go to next week - I think this will help in the decision process - plus it will be good exercise for him. (He turned 12 a few weeks ago)

They both have finished school - and did well. I now have a senior and a 6th grader! Yeah Tori and Sam.

Our church will have a new Sunday School Class about relationships - I am excited - it is something we need. I also want to teach children's choir - but need that confirmation from Steve and kids.

My dad will be gone 8 years this week - I miss him terribly. Mom struggles between one extreme and the other mentally - it can be exhausting at times. She is really having a hard time adjusting to me working.

We adopted a dog a few weeks ago - Kylee - she is so sweet!

Monday, May 17, 2010

I got a job!

I start next Monday - May 24th. I am so excited and relieved!

God is good!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Observation.....

My kids are spreading their wings. Tori especially - hopefully all she has been taught is a strong foundation. She works hard, does well in school, and is happy and healthy. What a blessing. Selfishly, a small part of me wants her to still need me - but she is almost 18 - she is very independent, has a strong will and a definite opinion.

Sam is at the beginning of spreading his wings. He is very sensitive to women (thanks in part to being the only male in a household of women ages 10-80), the "leader" of the nerf gun boys in the neighborhood (though he is impatient and slightly bossy), he is about to enter middle school and is struggling with "not liking" what he looks like. I think he is finally realizing the importance of soap, shampoo and deodorant. :)


I am proud of both of them!! Love you Tori and Sam!


Job interview...

I have one Thursday - it is for a part time position - but we need the income. I am printing fliers today for cleaning houses - maybe I will get a couple of calls. Please pray something comes through soon. Though I have to be honest - all the little part time jobs have pretty much replaced my income. And we have cut back a whole lot - you learn that you can do without a whole lot of stuff.



Closet cleaning...

I cleaned Sam's closet out yesterday...whew. And I cleaned out mine and Steve's closet. Let me tell you right now, the bulk of the mess in our closet - belonged to me. I am trying to figure out why my purse, my car and my closet are the three messiest areas in my life. (And possibly my dresser) Sam's closet was typical boy..broken stuff, taped together stuff, Lego's, boxes of more stuff, glasses and bowls. Needless to say when I was finished, I had a lot of stuff being thrown out or being donated. We have been here two years and it is amazing how much stuff we have accumulated.

Life Changes.....

We are making other changes and I think they...no I know they are good ones. The right steps in the right direction. God is good.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Update......

Still looking for a job. It is discouraging. Obviously I am going to have to try harder.

My mother is probably at the beginning stages of Alzheimers. I think about my dad and all he went through and suffered, and pray that mom doesn't go through the same.

Kids are fine - anxious for Spring Break next week.

Steve has been on vacation this week - we've hung out a lot.

Not a whole lot on my mind...sorry!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Never let it be said...

There is nothing to do. I have been busier since I have been out of work than I was when I was working. Whew. But I am getting a lot accomplished.

You can't make money...I mean I am not making tons of money, I need a job, but I have found and picked up a few odd jobs. There is stuff out there.


It doesn't matter to kids if you are home or not....it does matter. Sam is enjoying it- his grade have improved slightly. I am here for Tori to talk and vent right out of school. I wish I could be home for awhile.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Just a whole lot going on...

Ever heard of square peg in a round hole or the expression "oil and water just don't mix?"

Well, I am unemployed - by my choice - a total crazy leap of faith. I need a job!

Steve's dad had a heart attack - he is having bypass surgery today.

My sister is in hosptial with chest pain and shortness of breath.

Say a prayer!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

1 week....


A lot can happen in 1 week.

A week ago today my mother had a heart attack. She had three blockages. They were able to do a balloon, a stent, and left the other blockage because it was small and in a very small artery. She is home now, still weak but getting better.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Yes, I know I need to post Christmas pictures and such.

However....

Last night, my mom called, she was sick, I drove over there and realized that she is almost 80, and she seemed so fragile and little last night.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Decisions...decisions.....decisions...

I pray I make the right ones concerning areas of my life that have always been important and vital.

All is okay at home - each day is a learning experience that will help me grow. But good grief sometimes the fertilizer stinks!!! Ha!

Saturday, January 09, 2010

An observation.....

Why is it that those homes who are the first to put up their Christmas Lights are the last ones to take them down?

Just wondering.