Monday, February 24, 2014

Window blinds.....

Mom has torn up 4 sets of blinds.....

So we are trying this! I like!!!!  Better yet I paid $5 on the clearance table because it  wasn't in original packaging. Looks good!

And found this for the window in the same room. She doesn't touch this window. I have never hung up curtains in our house.....


Mom told Melecia to call me last Thursday and tell me she couldn't make it into work - that she had started her period - and just didn't feel good.


Moments like this are what makes others bearable.


Some funny....some not so funny.....some frustrating....some indescribable....

I was a brave soul twice this weekend - I was off on Friday - so I decided to take mom - mall walking I had her wheel chair - so we head out. 

Every time we came up behind someone - she would say "beep beep, toot, toot," let me through. Since I was pushing the wheelchair - I could not pretend I wasn't with her.  Ha. Ha. 

And yes, mom was mean before Alzheimer's geesh - and it comes through now.  She used to gripe and complain about everything - and the whole time out - that is what she did.  ARRRGGGHHHHHH.

After the mall - we make a trip to Sam's club - I bought detergent and such - no wheelchair - but she decides she can't walk anymore and makes herself fall...of course 20 people rush over - I caught her before she hit anything - but I knew she had done it on purpose.  A wheelchair appears - they baby her and make over her.  And she is a happy camper. Hmmph. Talk about manipulative.

Steve and I have used a full size bed since we have been married - we decided to switch to queen - or he did - initially I bought a new headboard, frame that could be either full or queen - I was happy.  Found it at a scratch sale - but he wanted a queen -so he decided to buy the mattress set - we get mom out again - we find one on sale- a super nice one - after negotiating and ad comparing....while we are in the store - mom says hello to everyone - I am thinking - "oh, she is sweet mode" - then she tells one lady - "you know I am peeing blood and I bleed out of my mouth - and they don't feed me or let me out the house."  The woman mouthed "Alzheimer's?" to me - and I nodded by head.

Oh, did I mention that while we were walking into above store- I  noticed mom was walking funny - weird funny - then she asks to go potty.  We get in the bathroom - out falls a roll of toilet paper.

After the mattress purchase - mom and I head to Walmart - to buy new sheets for bed - and to pick up a few things - mom is only good for a few things.  She totally acts ugly in the store - slaps the arm of the cashier who was trying to ring up the dog food.  I was mortified.  I apologized.  We walk out the door at Walmart and the cute little girls in pony tails - tell me that Thin Mints will make me feel better - who am I to argue? Then, of course mom says she is starving -  no way, no how am I getting out of the car with her again - so we go through the drive through -and I get her a sandwich. She has to sit in the back - it has child locks and she can't grab the wheel.  She eats half the sandwich and then decides to throw the rest at me.    SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Praise the Lord, we get home, mom decides to do her fake fall - as there are neighbors outside again I am mortified. I get  her up and in the house. By the time I in the house- I am a blasted wreck.  I had to take a  nerve pill and sit outside and chill the heck out -everyone understood. Tori helped with mom - Steve and Sam took everything in. 

I do have to mention she slept good all weekend long - getting her there was the challenge.  Bath time is a challenge - these are our most violent moments - where I am hit, kicked, slapped, in the bathroom yesterday I was trying to clean her up - she opened the cabinet drawer while I was bent down - and made it hit my head about five times - she knew what she was doing.  I so chewed her out. 

Medicine is another challenge - she won't swallow it - keep in her mouth till it dissolves and she gags.  Or she will spit out.  Or if we crush and put in pudding or ice cream - she will hold in her mouth till she makes herself sick -  yesterday she spit out medicine and poured drink everywhere.

I have made the decision to care for mom - I am going to learn some new tricks and methods in handling the combativeness.  Just when I am on the verge of collapsing - I find renewed energy. Has to be God.  Steve's patience has improved greatly with mom - he gets very mad when she slaps me though.  So does Sam.  But my reaction and my attitude is key in handling mom - I have to do better in the patience department.  She is the one who is sick - I am not - I can control my actions.

I just ask for prayer for me and my family.  For mom - to have clearer days.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

2 or 83

Hard to tell today.  Mom is into everything - and I am getting these reports second hand.


Monday, February 17, 2014

Mom taking care of her babies and mopping

Mom spends the better part of each day taking care of her babies - - they may end up in different rooms -but she loves her babies.

She doesn't mom as much as she used to, but if she is antsy we will give her the mop and duster.


We had two smaller bookcases - one that mom pulled down a few times - we had to take it out - but what to do with the books?  I love my books!  We had another one in the living room. 

My sister found a used one on a resale website - we bought it - and it sits proudly in the living room - away from mom's trail of walking - in place of one of the smaller one.  I just have a little stool in the hall way in place of the other. 


I am relieved and proud to say, I was not slapped, kicked, bit, hit, etc as much this weekend as those in the past!

Friday - she was pretty much up every hour on the hour after 1:30 - not misbehaving.  Just up!

Saturday - she woke up in a pleasant mood - I cleaned her up immediately.  She ate breakfast. She was just into everything.  She fell four times - thankfully she was not hurt - but she fell trying to do things she shouldn't have.  She is much like a two year old - you cannot take your eyes off her for one minute.  So, if I take a shower - I must have someone sit in the room with her.   She took a nap Saturday, and woke up to visitors in the house - Steve finally gave up his beloved VHS tapes - they were there picking them up - she freaked out - started screaming - was an absolute wreck.  Took us forever to get her calmed down.

Sunday - she was  a tad moody.  She fought taking a bath - so I waited for a bit - and started again - had to redirect her into her room.  But in that process she tore up her music box and took out pictures from frames.  All that is in a drawer for another day.  Finally got her all cleaned up and spiffy - she ate lunch - took a nap and then I had the BRILLIANT idea of taking her to the grocery store with me.
She immediately told them I was trying to kidnap her, she absolutely showed out.  I was worn out - and this was just our little local grocery store. Thankfully they know us - so I wasn't arrested.  Ha!  I then took her to Sonic - bought her favorite - a mini Strawberry milk shake - she asked for napkin - dipped it into her shake and started blotting me with the milk shake - I was so sticky when I got home.   I don't know who was more exhausted by the time we did arrive home - but she went to bed and slept all night. Praise the Lord!

I was so stressed - I did my exercise DVD - which is so much fun.  But I now have muscles that weren't there the other day - whew.  And it did relieve stress.  I felt much better after that and a hot shower.

Steve is putting up with a lot - I really thought mom would be past some of the stuff she does - he gets upset when she hits me. So does Sam.  They forget she doesn't know what she is doing.  And at times, I do too. So now we take a time out from each other - I lead her to her room and I sit in the recliner - no TV's on - just quiet - and that is working.  Reaction is key in handling mom.  She was never affectionate - now all she wants to do is hug, kiss and touch - and none of us are used to that - it almost freaks us out!  She was mean - and she is still mean - and cruel things will come out of her mouth.  Like I have said many a time - she is Box of Chocolates mom - you never know what mom you will have until the day begins - or the hour changes.

My other babies..........


Sam and Barney - Best Buds!

My favorite cleaning products......

I posted on Facebook - but I am a nerd.  I like a clean house - and every now and then I will try new cleaning products. 

Odoban - I have been using for some time now -but it is great -  on odors - especially the "teenage boy" smell - ugh. And it can actually be used as a cleaning product - I use it on door knobs, and smaller objects that need disinfecting.

The new Pledge - with Antibacterial ingredients.

And the newest Kaboom - I have been using for two weeks in our bathrooms and I really like it.

But also,  you can't beat good old fashioned bleach with elbow grease - I use it a lot.  I know it will clean and disinfect. 

I have been working hard in the house decluttering, throwing out, donating, organizing, you name it.  I am going to have Sam scrub baseboards for me today - he doesn't know it yet - but he is good at it. Why waste a day off from school?  Ha!

No room has been left untouched.  Out home is not fancy, but it is home.  It is a nice house.   We are blessed.  God has provided during the hardest times.

Valentine's Day

I received two gifts....

Steve bought me a large ottoman to replace the glass coffee table that was hazard to mom.  We took it out a few weeks ago.  It is also a storage ottoman.  It now holds all our blankets - completely freeing up space - we have very little storage space. And I am not pack rat or clutter person.  I was so excited.  It  looks good!!  I am very proud of it.

And then on Friday - in the other office building, they called me over for some help, I went over - and they handed me a box of flowers.  I said "well, who are these from?"  Katie, said "We hope you already know!"  bahahahahahaha


We received our requisite snow...... I am through now.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Rusty Update

Rusty came through surgery.  And is home - I can't believe it was outpatient.

He is in pain - and is a tad grouchy.  Ha.

He can return to work in about two weeks - and then we will wait to see if radiation is needed.

Thank you for prayers.

To Janis

You are an encourager - not a discourager!

I am blessed to know you - and call you friend.

Thursday, February 06, 2014


My nephew Rusty will have the least evasive surgery on Monday - this means they won't worry about lymph nodes - just the original tumor and the infected spot. He may need radiation - but we will know that about 6 weeks after at the surgery.  Recoup time for this surgery is two weeks. And God has answered a prayer - his employer called him and said he has a job waiting on him - and he literally just started this job. God is so good.

I cannot stress enough - if you have boys - to educate them on testicular cancer.  Please do so - it affects most between the ages of 15-32 - but we have seen articles on younger.  They need to be taught not to be embarrassed about talking about body changes. This needs to be taught in health classes, locker rooms -they teach young girls about breast cancer, PAP smears and ovarian cancer - we need to educate our boys.

Rusty could have been treated so much easier - the doctor found the initial tumor during a physical - and could not get treatment because of no insurance.  His cancer doctor said he wishes he could talk to that doctor.  Hmmph!

Thank you for your continued prayers.  Rusty has been fighting since September - with a low cure rate to start to 94% cured in December. 

Pray also his heart softens and sees God's work. 


If you know anything about me - I do not rearrange furniture - one new picture or doo-dad can throw me for a loop.

Since mom has moved in - we've had to mom proof the house - I took out the coffee table - it was glass and she kept falling and tripping on it - she was about to give me a blasted heart attack.  It found a good home with my friend Diane. 

I have had to take the bookcase out of the hallway - she has pulled it down three times. It isn't a tall one - it was one my Aunt Evie gave to me.  But it is heavy.  We are buying a used tall one to take the place of the one in our living room  - and will put all books there.  (I have a lot of books) This wall is out of any walkway - and behind a chair - and so far a mom free zone.  I put the one from the hallway into Tori's room - and put all her books on there (she had more than I realized)  - and since I am at this point - I cleaned her room - it was a disaster - by the time I finished I was livid.  Hmmph.  Oh well. 

In the hallway I put a tall reading lamp with a low wattage light bulb and the basket of mom's games and toys.  So far no falling and tripping.  It does leave the hall way more open.

We also bought a 42" high baby gate - with a swing door - should arrive tomorrow- we will put up between kitchen and living room - the kitchen is an accident waiting to happen for mom - falling, blinds, pulling stuff out of cabinets, you name it. I am sure it is going to be a huge thing for all of us to get used to.

Safety knobs on the stove, door knob covers on doors, stop signs that literally read "stop - this is hot"  or "stop - stay inside," a baby monitor so we can hear her at night.

I say all this - because I have stepped out of comfort zone - and becoming more flexible.  No room for complete OCD in my world. Or any OCD for that matter. 

Mom has had a good week.  I bought her some more pajama pants - Eyore and Hello Kitty ones from Walmart.  We are putting her more in sweats and pj's if we are not going anywhere - for her comfort and our convenience  It is easier to get her in bed if we don't have to change her - they are warm.  A win win for everyone. But I am telling you know in her normal, sane days - she never would have worn pajama pants - no way!  I have fun with it.  I may go get a couple for pair - they are $5 - and with nighttime accidents - the are coming in handy.

Her appetite is better - she looks better and her color is better.  She feels good - just doesn't make a bit of sense when she talks.  She has a fear of the commode and a fear of falling.  No clue how to handle that one.  I am reading.

I know carpet/flooring is not a necessity - but in a way it is.  I need flooring - I would like laminate - throughout the rest of the bedrooms and the hallway - easier to clean - it is in our living - room - just no $ right now.  It is safe to say - our carpet is ruined because of mom's many accidents. I try to keep it clean - but it is a losing battle. 

My teeth - this is the year - has to be - she knocked out another tooth the other day - caught be my surprise - I didn't see that fist coming.  I just don't know how to approach it - when I was a finalist for the dental make over contest  - the dentist said the best thing would be dentures or partials - because of the strength or lack of in my jaw bones - from years of TMJ.  Plus they would be the most cost effective.  I just feel so embarrassed and a failure. I got to get Sam going too - he is going to need braces. 

My hormones are all messed up - this the week of my cycle - but no cycle yet.  And I just called by doctor yesterday about permanent birth control.  I still take BCP - but know I need to get off.

I went to doctor yesterday - my ear drum ruptured.  Lovely - plus ears full of infection.  OWWWWW.  And the whole scale thing depressed me - got to rethink my plan - my clothes are looser -but the numbers are not dropping - I guess I am losing inches or something like that.  geesh.

As you can see, like any woman - I have dozens of things on my mind.....

Thank you for allowing me to vent.  Thank you for praying.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014


In this journey of Alzheimer's, I had to learn many things.  I have needed to change my way of thinking and doing things....I have become more flexible and less picky about my house.  No choice.

I have also developed a strong stomach.  And if you say you will never be able to do it - you are fooling yourself - because you can - and most likely will at some point - hey especially if you are a mom - you have seen and smelled many things!

Mom has issues with potty - she will not sit on the potty - this is a struggle - to get her to sit is a miracle - we can hold hands, sing, talk, read books - with mixed success.  The very first time we  had a big mess I got sick - threw up big time- no more!  I have an iron stomach - or something like that.

Last night before bed time - we  had success - or so we thought.

1.04 am.  Tori knocks on my door - she said  "mema needs you." (Tori just got home from work)  I get up - and realize we had a potty 911 - big time.  Bless her heart.  Poopie everywhere on her and her bed - even the bed skirt!  Tori is trying to cover her nose and help.  And she finally gives in - puts on gloves - helps me strip bed and mema - I get mom in tub - washed, dried, changed and Tori settles her on the couch so I can get bedding changed (I so need some full size sheet sets)  - I literally, because her bedding is so messy and yuck - just put them in garage - I start the washing machine.   (I threw one blanket away - it was that bad!)

I had to look for another set of sheets - and if you know me I am OCD about this - but I couldn't help it - they didn't match - the fitted was GI Joe and the flat was pink - (so funny) but they worked - found blankets  (need some of those too!)  - by 2:15 - we get mom back in bed.

This morning - the bedding was finished washing - Melecia, bless her heart, put everything back.

She kissed my hand - and said thank you, I love you.