Monday, December 27, 2010

Had a wonderful Christmas....

Peaceful...

Family and Friends.


What a blessing!

Friday, December 17, 2010

I am sooooooo sleepy today.

We may get to shop today. I hope so.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ghosts?

Are they real? Do you believe in them?
Handling what life gives you....

My mother has Alzheimer's...she is going down fast mentally.

She spent the night at my house last night and will probably do so again tonight...I want her used to the house...she feels pretty comfortable..comfortable enough to let me know my refrigerator is cleaner than she has ever seen it. She knows where the cups are, the towels, and the broom - she likes to sweep. She made Sam's bed...it was bedtime. Ha!

I hate that we .... she has to go through this. Though it has been almost 9 years since Dad passed away...the memories of his fight with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's are fresh in my mind - as if they were yesterday.

Each day will be an adventure...sad, funny, confusing, chaotic all at the same time.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Turn around moment...

We all have them, those turn around moments, some call them LIGHT BULB or A-HA moments.

A friend of mine, A.P. - gave me some advice or not so gently suggested to stop putting things off or avoiding issues...and I knew I am guilty of that - but didn't realize how much so until she said it.

Now, I have a long way to go to get things taken care of - but now I tentatively have a plan.

1. I am working on child support - should have done it a long time ago - and a huge weight has been lifted.
2. My sister and I have talked and share more this past weekend than we have in a long time. I am blessed to have her.
3. My mom - she won't get better - but we have a plan - though flexibility is key.
4. Most importantly...very important...I have drifted so far from God, that is why my priorities are not straight..that is why I have become an avoider of everything in life. I am not prayed up, confessed up, read up or even close in fellowship with other believers. I firmly believe that is why I am not seeing success, peace, and rest., fighting guilt..it is a painful lesson...but one I have learned from..now need to apply. I have to and need to allow God to change me.

I am also appreciative of my friends, D.C. in particular. She loves unconditionally. No judging. Just that warm voice on the other end of the phone.


I want to be a better mom to Tori and Sam.

I love my husband Steve - I need to do better by him...

Thank you for your prayers.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Well, heck. I am still sick. Pneumonia - to date I have had 15 shots, breathing treaments, and am the owner of an inhaler. I haven't slept in two nights because of coughing and such. Last night I gave up at 1:30 - got up and ironed. At least that is done.

We have taken a huge financial hit. I am worried about bills and Christmas. And I just don't feel good. I have no sick days left.

Ex-hubby totally behind (4 months-well three because when he lost his job we told him don't worry about Sept - now he is working two jobs) on child support...will have to take legal action - geesh I don't want to. I keep willing the mailman to bring a check that covers it. It is the last thing I want to do - I am dreading it - I hate hate controversy. I like to blend. The very fleshly part of me wants to keep the kids from going up to where he is (the plan is the day after Christmas - they really don't want to go - and we are picking them up earlier than usual - because they want to come home)- but that is not right. We just wanted to see some effort - I told him just to mail $25 a week until he could get caught up - that would cover haircuts and school stuff, you know? But if I go to child support services I am going to ask for also his part in regard to health insurance. I pray a check arrives today.

I am going to quit whining now....we have much to be thankful for.





In other news.....

Tori turned 18...we got her a camera and went shopping Sunday for a dress for "Oscar Night" (senior awards). She is doing well in school.

Sam is doing good in school also. He is growing up.

Steve is on vacation this week. He is just hanging out at the house. He went to dr with me yesterday.

Mom is still mom...wearing me out she is!