Sunday, September 30, 2012

I so want to understand.....

How mom can literally forget what happened 5 minutes ago? But can remember the address of the house she lived in 50 years ago.

Forget who I am? I am the other Becky. Not her daughter Becky. But can remember Steve?

Forget people, places, days but can remember what she ate the day before and refuses leftovers?

Forget where she put her purse and that she has shoes on her feet but knows exactly the number of pills she is supposed to take and what color they are?

Knows when we are out of Kleenex. But can't remember where she put her sweater?

I just don't understand.

'Cuse us, 'cuse us.....

Mom and I went to Dollar General. When it was time to check out, there was a long line by Dollar General standards.

Mom moved her way up in front of everyone by saying " 'cuse us, 'cuse us, we need to checkout I'm tired and we have milk."

Three folks grinned and let us go ahead. Oh me!

One Miserable Night.....

I have been up all night. I have not slept at all. Now I feel so sick.

Mom was up and down. But the worst of it is I have been up with my back and hips. Severe pain. Arthritis? Pulled muscle? I just wish I could describe it. I am miserable and sick.

...........

Now on a lighter note

Mom is sleeping - I needed to give her medicine. I woke her - up gave her the medicine she asked what time it was and I said....not time to get up. Ha ha. She laid back down.

(She has to have her medicine on time or the whole day will be messed up! I have learned this the hard way!)

Grocery Shopping.....

I call it my "Naifehs" run. Locally owned grocery store. I'm not really near one of the two stores. I have to go out of my way to go.

I must admit I go to different grocery stores...I don't ad shop--I shop where I'm the closest top at that moment. I have my coupons and I just get it done. But Naifeh's is a must for me at least once a week or every other depending on how stocked up I am.

Why?

They sell Mrs. Weavers Chicken Salad and trust me when I say they are the only ones to do so in this area. No other brand will do for mom.

They sell awesome cooked chicken strips in Deli. They have an awesome deli/bakery period!

They sell just what you need size wise in the meat dept. I usually don't need a huge package of hamburger meat.

They always seem to have potatoes on sale.

It is just the right size. You deal with. Groceries not vacuums, grills, clothes. You can get in and get out.

It's one of those types of stores if you can't find it anywhere else go there and you are sure to find it.

Their employees are awesome. The Munford store folks know mom....many of the kids know Tori so they call her mema and that tickles her.

They are a local business. And that's a good thing!

Wide Awake!

Almost 1:00 a.m. Mom is wide awake.

I'm trying to figure it out. Why she will sleep so sound for five or days straight and then not sleep for a couple of days? She is not napping, she is eating, going potty and staying busy. Routine is about the same.

I checked on her a moment ago she had emptied her dresser drawers. I just told her the time and she said okay. I'm thinking she is laying back down.
I hope so... I'm so tired!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

How to torture your 14 year old son......

1. Interrupt his video game playing,

2. Have him come outside and pull weeds.

3. Do not allow him to go back in until all work is done.

4. Make him do "do-overs"--despite all the huffing and puffing to the point you think he may hyperventilate. But he will be okay he is pulling one blade at a time so he shouldn't be too tired! Ha ha!

If you need additional tips on my other torture methods (such as cleaning baseboards, cleaning bathroom, etc) just let me know--I'll be happy to share.

I knew it!!!!!!!

All week mom has slept to almost 8:00. And that's going to bed at 7:00 the night before!

But this is Saturday and she has been stirring around since 5:15. I have laid out her cereal and made her coffee. Even her dust mop. Too early for morning Medicine. All outer doors are locked along with appliance locks. Very important.

Hopefully I can be lazy for just a bit. I have made a list of things I want to get accomplished today and it is quite a bit. It includes giving mom a perm. I went to bed early I feel rested - just not ready to put on one of my many hats.

Happy Saturday. I can't wait to write about our perm adventure. Because I'm sure it will be a hoot.

I am thankful for......

Everyone being settled and safe for the night.

One of the sweetest sounds is hearing Tori's car pull up at night!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Prove I'm not a robot.....

I so understand why we have to prove we are not a robot on blogs and web-sites.

But the letters and numbers I must duplicate are totally too small or my eyes are that bad!

Ha ha

It just tastes better....

Last night I fried chicken strips and mashed potatoes.

I looked and noticed that I was using the same pans, bowls, colander, and utensils that I learned to cook from and that mom probably cooked 100's Of meals from. These I  brought here recently from her house when she moved here.




And I decided all of it just tastes better. I miss my mom's old fashioned country cooking. But by using her kitchen "stuff" I do believe what I cook tastes better.

I do wish I could make her fried pies, salmon patties, pecan pie, and corn bread. Anything I have attempted does not touch how she did it. I have mastered her rock cookies, potato soup, roast, chicken, and a few others.

I would love though to sit down at that kitchen table where I did homework and eat one more after church Sunday meal.  If you still have those opportunities to eat with your parents and family - take them.  One day you won't have them.

A little closer....

Reality is hitting me. Munford welcomed home a soldier wounded severely in December.

Tori is a little closer to being sworn in as a member of US military. All should be finalized next Friday.

Please pray for Tori as she completes the process and that this is the door she is supposed to walk through. If you really talk to her you can tell she has a plan. She knows what lies ahead. Knows it won't be easy. I'm proud of her. But my mommas heart worries and aches at thought of her in any danger.

Only One Empty Tomb.....

I had an interesting and challenging conversation with someone tonight. Or last night since it is 3:00 a.m.

I received a text saying how there is a smaller percentage of Christians overall in the world compared to the total of all other beliefs/religions. And that surely that Christians were not the only ones going to heaven.

I told the person that God makes His very existence known with the slightest breeze that one day even the rocks will cry out He is Lord. That Jesus came as man but was God in the flesh. That He lived 33 sinless years. That He took our punishment on The Cross.

We talked more.....

The person brought up Mohammed, Buddah and many others.

I said "yes they existed...but there is only one empty tomb."

I didn't hear anything else.

Do you know how much God loves you?

Go get your Bible and put your name in John 3:16. Read it over and over. Don't take this verse for granted. He loves you, loves me, all of us that much!





Thursday, September 27, 2012

Hour and a half..,.

Granted I was running errands and such. But I had an hour and a half to myself today.

I was able to do a quick grocery run, get gas, and a couple of other things without anyone with me. I wish I could describe the feeling of "freedom" I should have bought a milk shake. Ha ha. Obviously I wasn't thinking!!!!

I guess that sounds selfish or silly. But time to myself is rare.

Balancing Act......

Last night was McDonalds night for mom. She loves to get a Happy Meal - and this time they had toys - no stickers or magnets. She was pleased. 

She couldn't wait to eat - couldn't wait to open up the little red box.  Trouble was - she did not want to put her purse or sweater in the back seat.  So she was trying to hold everything in her hands and still eat. 

Believe it or not she succeeded.

Here is a picture....... (I stopped on the side of the road at a bank just to take this picture - it was too funny to miss and not to share!)  Thankfully her drink was in the cup holder. 

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Skipping School...

Mom this morning in her mind was a kid.

She told Melecia she was skipping school. But asked Melecia not to tell me because..,,."Becky don't believe in that."


Ha ha ha

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Pizza

I have a cold and feel so yuck.

Steve brought Pizza home. I didn't have to cook! No dishes either.

You would have thought mom never had pizza....she saw it and said "ooooohhhh pizza!" She enjoyed it.

Another New Purse..,,.

Today I picked up a new purse for mom. She wasn't too happy with the last one I bought. This one was on clearance.

Surely this is the one. It is black, has two zipper compartments, handles not strap...she doesn't like shoulder bags. A side pocket for a mountain of Kleenex.

She has played and fiddled with it for a while now. She seems to like it. For one little lady who carries a bunch of brushes , Kleenex and Chapstick she is picky about her purses.

Now...if I could get her to wear a different sweater. ..... I best not push my luck,

Monday, September 24, 2012

What is it about a cold?

That keeps you from sleeping?

Geesh! I feel like a freight train is in my head and my ears full of wet cotton. I went to bed about 9:00 or so...did not hear Tori come in...,.which is rare for me. But now I'm awake.

I have checked on everyone and they are all snoring - even the dogs. Just doesn't seem fair. I'm at a loss on what to watch on TV. True crime? News? Entertainment gossip? Home shopping goodness knows plenty of people need stuff this time of night.

Had a decent Sunday with mom. We went to the store and she worried about laundry detergent the whole time. Speaking of which she hides her dirty laundry and I have to find it, wash it and put it up without her seeing me. And that's a challenge considering she follows me room to room. Ha ha!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

All Points Bulletin.....

Please be on the lookout for one blue and white dust mop.

Mom cannot find hers.

Wait! There it is in the utility room. Behind the door. Whew!

Mom and mop had a sweet reunion. It was touching for all those present.

Thank you for your assistance. Life can return to normal for this family.




And yes, she cleans in her beloved sweater.



Saturday, September 22, 2012

Weekend

It looks like Steve and I will be able to take a weekend trip toward the end of October.

Please pray all falls into place so we can enjoy it. I cannot imagine time away...it has been a long time.


It's one of those things we can't afford to but we can't afford not to. Does that make sense?

Don't touch the sweater!!

Took mom today to Walmart for her flu shot.

The nurse made a horrible mistake. Oh she didn't know.....

She attempted to take or help mom take her beloved wool sweater off for the shot. Ummmm .....mom was so not cool with that.

She jerked her arm back and said "leave my sweater alone." I'm glad I warned the nurse about Alzheimer's. Or I'm thinking we would have been asked to leave. Ha ha!

But that set the tone for the rest of the day. She has not been happy since. She is now determined that the flu shot will make her sick and the nurse was trying to steal the sweater. Ha ha!

Pray for a good night. Looking rough.

Mission Statement....

On a visit to the Alzheimer Reading Room..,,I was challenged by a post on basically what is my mission statement as a caregiver?

And I left this comment...this is my mission statement as a caregiver.
-----------------------------------
I want mom to have a life not just to live. To feel safe, warm, respected and loved.

I want her to feel and be needed and that she has a purpose. To know she is valuable and important.

I want her to open the refrigerator and see Mrs. Weaver's chicken salad, applesauce and diet coke. To open her cabinet and find raisins, Wavy Lays, and Chips a Hoy. To eat a banana and rice krispies in the same bowl she has used for years. To find her two tubes of lipstick in her purse after she hid them in her sock drawer,

She is my mother. I will do what is right even when it is hard and I'm tired. I will learn from my mistakes, forgive myself and enjoy the next day.

The Recruiter....

Today I met with the recruiter Tori has been talking with.

He did not glamorize or glitz up anything. I appreciated that.

I had been researching all week.

So after our meeting and my
research I do believe this is something Tori should do. It will be good for her.

She has my support. I am proud of her.

Why does it surprise me?

When God answers prayer?

What's it gonna take a knock on the head with an iron skillet?

Even the small things he cares about.

Watch out dust bunnies......

Mom was on a cleaning kick Friday. Nothing went untouched.

She wiped, washed the kitchen over and over!
----------------
She was needy and clingy too. I often what goes on in her mind. How it works. It just doesn't seem fair that on some days she can't even find the words to talk.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Cough cough sniff sniff

Is what our house sounds like!

Me and my shadow........

Mom is my shadow. She will literally follow me room to room.

It is a tad okay a lot disarming to go to restroom and open door and mom is standing there. Ha ha

Tonight when I was cooking supper she stood right by my side.

She is very attached to Melecia. She misses her when she is not here.

Decision

I asked everyone to pray. This is one I've yet to wrap my brain around.

Tori is considering joining The National Guard. Part of me admires the courage and confidence she has...but the momma in me cannot imagine my girlie girl in fatigues and carrying a weapon. Possibly deployed in the future.

---------
We still have so much going on. I'm worried down and stressed. I need your prayers! I am blessed by your prayers. God is so good.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

MY BOY OF FALL......

Last night was Sam's last regular season home game.  It was homecoming and 8th grade recognition.

Brighton won 54-22.  Sam did play.  And had a good time.



Sam....#60....whoo hoo! (he refuses to smile)






Tori and Sam.... well he kind of smiled in this one....



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Prayer....

I need prayer. I feel so tired and alone at this moment.

I wonder how God could love me?

Monday, September 17, 2012

Prayer Request

I will share more in detail later but please pray for an upcoming decision!

I have other things I'm praying about...I am literally having out loud conversations with God as I am doing things. Crying out to Him.

9:33 pm

For the first time since 5:30 this morning. I am sitting. I know I am not the only one, so I know you can relate.

I am tired.

Mom's Hands.....

Last night in church - I looked down and saw mom's hands. 

Hands that worked hard keeping a home, working part time jobs when needed, and most importantly caring for my dad.

Mom clapping.......

To say my mother was reserved in every facet of her life would be an understatement.  Reserved to the point of being snobby....


Last night in church - she enjoyed the worship services and did something I have never, ever seen in all my years!.


Clapped while singing...


Mom and Elvis

On Saturday a lot of Memphis area museums were either free or half price.

To begin us getting out and not staying in all weekend...we chose Sun Studio. It was free. So after getting mom a haircut and lunch....we headed to Sun Studio.

Our guide was awesome and it was neat to hear stories about what went on in that small building. There is a lot of history there. 

Mom breaks out in Hound Dog" often..and will dance around - so it was cute.

Here is a pic of mom and Elvis....




And one after Elvis...boy she was tired!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Mom and her closet...

I had been laying here listening to mom open and close her closet door over and over. Now I must admit I was trying to decide do I get up and see what's going on or do I hope it stops SOON? Tough call.....because if I get up then my day may begin handling things my mind and heart are not primed for. But if I don't get up... No telling what I will find.

Soooooo...I get up . Good thing. She is taking clothes out one piece a time. It was half way empty. Why? I have no clue. If I had to guess she has hidden something and can't find it. I directed her toward rice krispies and she is happy.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Why???

I am asked often why I take care of mom, why not put her somewhere?

The other day Melecia and I were talking....and she said she noticed how protective mom is of the kids...how at 4:00 she watches for the school bus everyday.

That started some serious thinking. I Was a single mom for a long time. The last six years I lived at moms... Both of us helping each other. Oh we had disagreements and fussed.

But because of us living there Tori and Sam did not live in a horrible neighborhood, had good clothes, meals, and I could work to get back on our feet. And we did. Mom would watch them if they were sick and couldn't go to school, have something healthy to eat when they got off the bus at 4:00.

Was it perfect? No. She wouldn't allow us to turn one room into a bedroom...so the three of us were in one room. But in a way that was good. We were close. The kids and I started and ended the day in immediate prayer , I watched the same tv shows they did. I talked to them every day. When weekend jobs came up they always went with me. Because of mom they were safe and not latch key kids.

Mom was not the affectionate type. She just wanted to clean. I don't remember getting a lot of hugs or positive words from her. She could be standoffish and mean. She wasn't one to rave over school awards and such.

But in her way she loved her family. Still does. She thought all three of her girls were smart just because we "typed" at work.

Why? It is the right thing to do. Sure I'm tired. Make that exhausted. Looking back Alzheimer signs were there - but I cant turn time back. I just move forward. Right now she is in the room next to mine, her rice krispies are on the cabinet with the same bowl she uses every day. Will it change? I don't know... I'm taking it a day at a time.
God supplies the energy and all we need at the exact moment we need it.

Why? It is right. Why? I love her.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Whew!

Mom was sleepwalking..not wandering. The door to our garage was unlocked.

It's not now.

We got her back in bed and she is sleeping.

I needed the reminder why we have extra locks and lock every door. For mom's safety. And that's important.

Friday PM thoughts.....

Nemo!!!! I love this movie! I'm so excited it is on the big screen. In my opinion one of the best animated movies ever made. I so enjoy animated movies.

$2.25. Sam gave a girl in his class money for concessions. He said she was coming to the game...and if she didn't he's getting his $2.25 back. Ha ha.

The lady at the store said Sam and I made her smile and laugh. I'm trying to decide if that's a good thing.

I gave both dogs a bath tonight. Both of them act like they've been tortured once I finish. They are dead weight.

I bleached both bathrooms tonight. I clean them regularly but I wanted the bleach and disinfecting done tonight. I also Murphy oil soaped the living room. And got some laundry done, Mom dusted.

I am so grateful for Melecia. She is such a blessing. We truly love and appreciate her. She is awesome for mom. Mom still calls her "girl"

I'm glad its the weekend. I'm tired!



Where are........

The donuts?

This morning mom wanted Hostess donuts! And she was out. She likes the chocolate donettes. She normally eats two after her cereal.

Mom eats a lot yet she's the only one who doesn't gain weight! Explain that to me?

And by the way I stopped at the store when I picked Sam up from the High School game and bought her little donettes. Ha ha!

Selfish dream

A dental makeover. I just entered a few contests.

Maybe I won't receive a bunch of spam!

Prayer.....

On this blog in addition to the tales of kids and mom - I have asked for prayer many many times.  Thank you for your prayers!

I firmly believe in prayer.   The peace it brings. 

There is a blog party this week - and she is asking for blogs about prayer needs and requests.

I am humbly asking for prayer in many areas - parts of my life.

Mom - Alzheimer's is tough.  Pray for more clarity.  Moments where memory is sharper.  That she doesn't progress further into Alzheimer world.  I wish I could adequately describe this disease - you would think I could - with my 2nd parent going through it.

Work - I am frustrated.  I need to give myself an attitude adjustment.   I am blessed they are flexible with me. But I have to be honest - I am not happy.  I am trying to decide if it is more me?  I am customer service - so all day long I put out fires, handle problems, get yelled at, cussed at, huffed at - it is hard to turn it off.

My Marriage - to say we are under strain is an understatement.  From mom, to kids, to financial issues, child support, learning to disagree, learning to agree,  to lack of time together - it has taken it's toll.

Steve - His job - he works in bad areas - pray for his safety.

Tori - She is sooooooo almost 20.  Pray for wise decisions and discernment on her part.  She works long late hours - pray for her safety.  Pray she waits for and chooses the right man to be her husband.

Sam - He is sooooooooo 14.  Pray for his safety and health in football.  Pray that he focuses on school  Pray for his continued spiritual growth.  And help me - he is talking about driving.  Which in reality and his world he could start next year - I am not so sure.  Ha!

Church - it would be nice to go! I miss the fellowship.  The worship. The sermons.  Being spiritually fed.

And me.  I am tired.  I told Steve the other day - and I don't know if he took me seriously or not.  I am depressed.  I feel like I have lost control of all the plates in my juggling act.  There are days I don't even want to get out of bed - and wonder what is wrong with me. There are days my whole body hurts - and I know it related.  I long to be a better wife, mother, daughter - PERSON!  I long to be closer to God. And I know the reason I feel so far away  - and am far away is because I run the opposite way trying to handle things on my own. 

I know this a lengthy list.  But I appreciate your prayers.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Happy Meal, the purse and the sweater....

Each Wednesday after I pick Sam up from football I take him to church...but before church I breeze through McDonalds (yes I know not healthy but we are doing quite a bit in a short amount of time)

Mom is always with me...tonight she wanted a Happy Meal. So I get their food. But mom tries to balance her purse, sweater and the happy meal box in her lap. She refused to put the purse and sweater in the backseat. She finds a way to eat her food. (I couldn't get a decent picture...but it was multi tasking at its best!)Then she is mad that there are apple slices and not cookies. Then the toy is a package of magnets not a little doll or figure. That's not good. But I make a big production once we are home about putting the magnets on the fridge.She was happy.

She is so much like a child...sometimes I forget that at one time I was the child and she the adult. I'm trying to remember the exact moment the roles were reversed. It just happened.

Attitude prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for this day. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for The Cross.

Lord, you know my worries and concerns. You know how discouraged I feel. At times I feel like a failure. You know my struggles with work. You know how tired I am.

I want and need for You to take over my attitude. Your words to be my words. Your thoughts to be my thoughts. Fill me with You. Use me today.

Lord, please bring peace at work today. Only you can do it. I'm giving this day to you.

Thank you for being here, thank you for your provision. Thank you for loving me so much.

I love you Lord.




Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Things I don't do at work....


Throw coworkers under the bus without researching and even after finding problem I usually handle without saying a word.

Play office politics. I try to treat everyone like I want to be treated.

Maybe I need to be different - by not doing the above has usually served me well. I just don't know this time.

Mystery behind the milk and the cereal....



We have figured out why mom...why we go through so much milk and cereal.

Every night I lay out mom's bowl for cereal - in case she is awake before me.  The past few nights we noticed she gets up about 4:00 - eats a bowl of cereal - goes back to bed. Then she will get up again at 7:00 or so.....  and eat another bowl.  Well she has done that three days in a row - and then she gets up again at 9:00 and eats cereal again. 

That explains why for the past year - even before moving in with us - that she went through so much milk and cereal.  And why she wouldn't be hungry at lunch time. 






Breakfast with a purse and sweater

This morning I took this picture of mom - she was making her bowl of Rice Krispies and cup of coffee.

But I want you to notice the purse and the sweater.  She is never far from either one.



Please notice the crockpot - that is tonight's dinner cooking!  Go me!

Where were you?

I was on Hwy 51 south headed to work. Right in front of Ingram Micro.
I was listening to KLOVE when John and Sherry Rivers announced about the towers and they prayed. Cars were stopped along the highway-frozen in time it seemed.

None of us could work we just watched tv in the break room or on our computers.


Monday, September 10, 2012

Another reason to appreciate Melecia...

She can make salmon patties and I cannot. Or if I'm honest I've never tried.

Mom really likes them,

A question...

Do you think years from now children okay....my kids...will appreciate the fact that I didn't wash a calculator, a tube of lipgloss and a half of pencil with their clothes?

So sue me...I'm one of those...

The undecided voter.

Normally I know exactly who I'm voting for...

I just don't know.

The name daddy....

Today while standing in line to go into the court ..... I overheard a conversation between three deadbeat dads. And the more I heard the madder I got! Seriously these people are walking around! And I'm sorry to say taking up valuable oxygen.

As best as I can remember... And this is true!

Deadbeat # 1: " man it is not right I'm here again. Just two years ago they took my car." (obviously this idiot has yet to learn)

Deadbeat # 2: "man I know it they took my furniture last time. Well I can tell them now I have nothing in my name goodluck. " (obviously he is idiot also)

And #3 deadbeat takes the cake. He referred to his child as "it"
"dude I'm telling you if they want me to support it I should keep it. The way I believe the slut should plant a garden instead of expecting me to support it."

And people want to know what is wrong with kids today. What happened to real men?

I am still fired up. Their poor kids!

I don't understand. I miss my dad so much right now. As a little girl, a teenage girl, a young bride... I could count on daddy. I felt safe, loved and cared for all of us did!

It takes a special man to earn the title daddy. And the three above plus one I know do not.
----------
We are blessed to know we have a daddy in heaven ... He loves us so much.

Buying on prayer.....

Sam went with me tonight to the grocery store...I was so not in the mood.

Sam reminded me "mom look at it this way you are able to buy groceries.."

I said "well buying them on prayer."

He said...."well buy more groceries...pray bigger."

It is funny and dead on.

Disappointing Day

Today was court. A day wasted. He did not show but sent an attorney.

He was granted a continuance.

It is not right. I just don't understand the system.

Got up early missed work for nothing.

Sunday, September 09, 2012

How to avoid depression...

Do not look at yourself on the security screens at the customer service desk. Those cameras are either not kind or telling the truth!

Ha

If you are ever in TX

Near Austin...

Visit this church
Teravista Fellowship Baptist Church
1901 N AW Grimes Blvd.,
Round Rock, TX 78665.

Their pastor has been awesome to us!
And he doesn't even know us!

I sent a link to this blog.. He may think I need therapy! Heck I think I need therapy.

Pastor Clay.. Thank you thank you -- you have made an impact on many lives.

Hope Springs...

After a long weekend and horrible nights....with Sam watching mom for a few hours ... Steve and I went to Sonic and ate... And then went to see Hope Springs with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. And Steve Carell.

I highly recommend it! Go see it!

I enjoyed a few sweet hours with Steve.

Urgent Prayer!

Please pray! Mom's nurse Melecia just called me. Her brother and sister in law were in a bad accident on the way to church her sister-in-law is not doing well. Back is broken. Her sister-in-laws mother was also injured.

Her family has been through so much the past two months from her surgery, her brother-in-laws heart attacks and now this!

Pray pray.

Pastor Clay

One of our older boys Got into trouble out of state. DWI. Thankfully no accident, no one hurt.

We opted to not help him get out early He needed to learn. And prayerfully he has. It was a hard decision. We love him so!

As soon as we learned of his arrest and such I started looking for churches near the... Gulp....jail. We didn't want money given but just for someone to be there,

I emailed or contacted five churches.
Pastor Clay was the only one who responded. We just wanted him to visit and get word to our son we cared. He has gone out of his way and I cannot tell you what that means! It meant a lot to our son because that was in the first sentence in a letter he mailed to me.

He is meeting him tomorrow when he is released and helping him get situated and hopefully we see our son soon! Pray for his safety, for wiser choices and for his salvation.

Thank you to this man of God!

And she sleeps.....

After a very long night and a good breakfast mom sleeps on the couch.

I'm debating on whether to snooze myself or clean out our closet and bathroom cabinet. I need to get her medicine ready for the week.

We hope to go to church tonight.

I'm praying about child support court tomorrow. I think.... I know I will feel better once that is over. I have never been "on the stand" and I am nervous . I have my statement ready. I hope I am allowed to read it.



Saturday, September 08, 2012

Tonight

Tonight mom is super agitated. Violent. I've been hit, scratched, my hair pulled.

It finally took Steve literally yelling at her for her to sit. Every door is locked. I don't know what the trigger was.

Needless to say I'm sad and discouraged. It was a good day. Does this mean I can't ever get her out?

Court

We have court on Monday.

Please pray. I'm nervous and anxious for resolution.

I just want this to be settled!

Good day...

It has been a good day!

We ate lunch out and ran a few errands. The most important being I picked up two containers of Mrs. Weavers chicken salad for mom.

To moms of younger teen girls....

I have a few friends with daughters between the ages of 12-16.

There will always be drama. They are a sensitive group. Moods turn on a dime.

Unless someone is being hurt physically or threatened... I encourage you mom to just let them hash it out. They will get over it. Stay out of it. Now of course if they come to you...listen... Offer advice if asked. But don't call the other mom or girl. They will figure it out. I promise. They will be mad today and best buds tonight.

Thinking

I have been thinking about what Sam asked me earlier this week about being stressed. Then mom in a moment of clarity pretty much told me the same thing last night.

Am I really letting go and giving all to God? And I mean all? Obviously not.

A lot of what we seem to be going through seems to be outside factors, snippets of bad news, small inconveniences, major issues, mom, work and so on. God cares! When will I learn?

Things I can do...

Stop immediately and pray. Pray all day!

Try to get out more on weekends even with mom. Don't stay shut in.

Try to get out more often with Steve. Whether it is a date night, a date morning.....something!

I need to learn to ask for help with mom.

I need to do better meal planning. And grocery shopping. Get my family back at the table!

Exercise!

Read books. They always helped me relax!

Take a long leisurely bath at least once a week. Something I haven't done in like forever!

Choose a home project and complete it!

These are a few things that have come to mind.

Selfishly I ask that you pray for me. I am tired, exhausted and stressed.





I am thankful for...,

God's grace!

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Sam

Sam said to me when I was in his room delivering laundry ....

"mom, I want you to be less stressed. I'm going to find a way. What can I do?"

How's that for a 14 year old boy?

I hate that he has that image of me though.That worry. I need to be a better testimony to him...to others. But especially to my kids.

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

I just want to ask you...

To pray for me as you read this.

I am sad. I am tired.

And not to be overly dramatic my heart is breaking. I want to laugh but I can't. Not right now.

Scoot over mom....

Last night I checked on mom before I went to bed.

She was on the very edge of her bed.... so I gently whispered "mom scoot over so you don't fall off bed."

She woke up and said...and I kid not..."good Lord Becky, I scooted over yesterday."

You see when she argues about doing something she will say she did it yesterday.

She even argues in her sleep.

Ha ha

Scripted & The conventions

I'm not enjoying the everyday folk who have spoken at the conventions. I normally do... I like to hear their stories no matter the party. But this election season they are so scripted. Very scripted. To me it sounds horrible and boring! They should video these folks in their natural setting. I think it would be much more effective.

Even some of the politicians sound like robots! Relax! I'm not connecting with anyone.

Now pay attention moms and grandmothers .... A lot of speakers on both sides speak of the women in their lives and how they influenced and inspired them. Our job is important. Don't take it for granted.

Keeping up...

Really Steve just can't keep up.

Tori called last night to say a friend was coming over to spend the night. She was having a bad day. I told Steve .... He asked "is this the one who broke up with her boyfriend and called you because her parents didn't understand?" I said "no that was Erin." he then asked "oh is this the one from Mississippi and looking for a job and you may help with resume?" I said "no that's Meagan."

"This is Caitlin...she's having issues with school, doesn't feel good and is depressed. "

He just went to bed. Really why can't he keep up?

Read post below.

Drama...

Sam had a rough day at school.

He does not take to bullies and those who encourage it.

He defended a smaller and younger kid from one a lot bigger than him. Now it is like Sam is the kids new target.

He asked us what he should do if the kid hits him, etc. He received two opinions. Of course his mother said walk away and ignore taunting. Steve said sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Sam being his dry smarty self said ..."mom this is my drama... Nothing like Tori's junk. You are supposed to listen. And you are good at it." whew!

Now I pray he doesn't have to choose.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Momism

On the way to the store...mom said "now don't tell Becky, but we cleaned her house today... It was nasty!"

I told her I was Becky. She said "not you but Tori's mom"

Ha ha ha

(my house is not nasty!)

Shopping with mom.....

After work I came home --- and picked up mom. We hustled to Kroger. We needed groceries.

1st mistake--hustled. You cannot hustle mom.

But we get there...mistake #2 I did not have a list. And our Kroger store which I love is resetting and rearranging. I was perfectly happy with bread in aisle one...now the cereal is there??? What the heck???? And they play loud music--I cannot think with Ricky Martin and others singing in my ear!!! At least it is not rap music. I'm making a call in the morning - - I'm sure they care what I think. But turn it down already!

Ok-back to mom. So we get through shopping.. We head to check out. Mom says..."my word, I never buy that many groceries " I tease her and say..."oh you help us eat it." mistake # 3 Dont tease...she takes things literally. She then yells and I mean yell "do you believe she is accusing me of stealing her groceries? I don't steal!" Then she refuses to leave. She is holding onto the cart and will not budge she is a statue. The folks behind us are being super patient...they had all organic stuff they were probably week with hunger. Ha ha' I finally had to go up to her ear and whisper firmly to move and go to the car. She huffed and huffed. But she moved.

I was so stressed after leaving! Geesh!

But seriously can't they put our Kroger back to the way it was. I forgot three things I needed.. I couldn't find them.

Monday, September 03, 2012

Really?????? Reality????

How many types.....themes of reality TV can there be?

I would be so embarrassed to be on some of them----geesh! Are these people real?

I guess there is not a market for one with an alzheimer mother, a 14 year old, a 20 year old, auto problems, two dogs, IRS letters....

I guess just not exciting enough.

Sunday, September 02, 2012

Venting!!!

Just use your sanctified imagination.

This is me screaming.........arrrrrrhgggggghhhhhj


Then this is me totally exasperated....
Hmmmmmmpppppphhhhhh

If you want to know details email me.

But we need much prayer!

3:30

Mom was up at 3:30 this morning. She made coffee and ate cereal.

Went back to bed ... Did it all over at 8:30.

Ha ha

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Flexible, cleaning and a new mop...

Just a few days ago I wrote how OCD I used to be....but with mom I've learned I just can't worry about or stress about SOME of the things I used to.

One thing I've never been is a rearranger! I like to keep things in the same place!

We turned our dining room into a bedroom when mom moved in...we have moved and swapped furniture....STUFF around for months....I think----I pray we are relatively settled. Sam is back in the new bedroom. Tori is home with what seems less Stuff! Where did it go?

We had been trying to think of low cost ways to give Sam privacy without having to do a lot of carpentry etc. We do want the dining room to be a dining room one day, Well Steve came up with the idea of accordion doors. So with the investment of less than $80....we have doors.

This will give him privacy and hide mess if necessary. Since that room is at the front of the house hiding the mess of a teen boy is key!


We have put more locks on doors to protect mom--and I am not big on locks! Ha!

There are some things I can do to get us a tad more organized and I will be working on those. But I'm not going to stress over them.

The house is pretty clean. I need to clean vents and such. And dust our room - but it is presentable.

I do clean my bathrooms everyday. I don't like dishes in the sink. And I am funny about garbage!

I bought a new mop today. I needed one. Mom will be so excited. Ha ha ha

I'm very proud of the doors! Thankful for Steve's idea and him putting them up!

Just when you think....

Just when you think you may have a little extra money for something fun.... Car trouble cones along!

Ugh!

We weren't planning in that much fun! Ha ha ha!

To cherish....

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)