Saturday, May 31, 2014

New Desk.

Sam's room was way too cluttered...we took out a few pieces of furniture and junk-I bought a desk on a sale sight.

I found a used laptop., got it back in working he is enjoying the new space.

Here is the result! 

Good Job Sam!

This fellow, the one holding the dog, ha!

Has a 3.6 GPA!  I am very proud of this accomplishment. Just think what would happen if he studied every night!!!!

Go Sam!

Thursday, May 29, 2014


Tonight, mom was real sweet and loving.  Funny!

Melecia is on vacation - but we have sweet Debbie working in her place. 

Tonight, my face and jaws hurt.  I want dental work!  In due time.  I feel ugly.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


I learned on a YouTube video yesterday by Teppa Snow - (an expert in Alzheimer care, etc in my opinion).  that Alzheimer's dominant taste is bitterness - that is why they like more sugar in their coffee, won't drink diet drinks, etc. 

Mom does not like to swallow pills anymore she is very dramatic - worthy of an Oscar.  So we have been crushing her meds and mixing with apple sauce, sometimes pudding or ice cream.  Well, no though mom will swallow, she fights it and says it is BITTER - and gags and sometimes will spit out.

Teppa suggested JAM - it has texture - so the patient can't pick out the medicine (as in pudding) and it is sweeter than applesauce.  So far I have used twice and it works like a charm - who would have thought.

Jam - imagine that!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

No clue!

Mom moves furniture all the time. I don't know where she gets the strength. 

She moved the desk chair to the door leading to hallway. No clue the reasoning or thinking....I just knew no one was going out or coming in!  



This is why I appreciate our washer and  dryer...tons of laundry! 

May We Never Forget....


What if today.....

The best messages to receive

Every time Sam has Football, whether it is weight training, running or good ole fashioned in the field practice - he has been sending me a text like this....  We pray over text.  I shared this with is coaches so they could see where his heart and mind are.  And I am sure other players feel the same way.  These boys love their coaches and they want to work to please them.  I hope and pray the coaches see and know this.  His new coach looks like he could be one of them - so that is one reason he has to be so tough on them - he has to establish the authority and leadership.

But I am so proud that Sam believes in prayer and grateful and humble that he asks me to pray for him. 

Work Emails

 I say it a lot and trust me, I am not exaggerating - I receive about 200 emails a day.  It is non stop and constant.  People will call me or email me and ask..."Do you remember..?"  Well, heck no.  With each email a decision or an answer has to be given.  And I do lag behind.  But on Friday - this is what my inbox looked like.  I was soooooo excited.  It had been my goal to clean out as much as I could - because it being the Friday before a long weekend - I knew we would probably slow down after lunch - and we did.

 In this one, I am working on another computer - taking it back to factory defaults.  Works good as new now. 

A trip to the ER

Mom fell yesterday and busted her head...ended up being a small spot. But Sam and I took her to the ER at our local hospital. ( only went there because I knew what was wrong) And trust me I will never go back. She fell as she was mopping and dusting. 

When we did not seem or look busy. But we waited. Mom had missed her 4:00 med and was super agitated by the time we were in back. This hateful nurse who saw how mom was acting said "we will have to sedate her, it is mandatory." I looked at her and said "well, no, you have to take precautions when you sedate an Alzheimer's patient and she had hit her head. So,  no to the sedation"She said and I'm not kidding, "well I'm not helping with her acting like that." Well, I told her she had not been in there anyway! Hmmph. I made an enemy! 

We were there 4 long hellish hours. Sam's friend and his mom picked him up. Mom was wild...we passed the time for another round if medicine. The doctor finally came in...and I let him have it. They did a scan, glued the spot and we had to wait for results. I knew she was fine. A young nurse just on duty saw us and probably heard mom...found her chart noticed all was clear and got us out of there. I could have kissed her.

A few pics from our adventure.  Her head looks worse than it was. Sam held the compress all the way there and in waiting room. The big guy was the only one who could calm mom down. Mom was not cooperative with blood pressure check, temperature, etc.  she ripped the bandage off after about 5 minutes!

Mom was so hard to handle and only my two children came to help. I am struggling with some deep feelings of aggravation and hurt right now. And even struggling to forgive. Not a call or text from two people who say they care about me..though not mom. I was crushed. 
Going to take me awhile to get over it. And not to sure I can.

Friday, May 23, 2014


Everyone likes roots - in the sense they like to be firmly planted.  To know there is stability.

This week, Sam and I cut down, pulled and pushed a dead tree - it was not very big, but the roots were strong and thick.  It took a lot of work - it was hard to break those roots!

After we removed the tree, I really started thinking how we become deeply rooted in routine of everyday life. We don't accept change, or panic at the slightest bump in the road. We would rather be like this dead tree, not produce and just stay put.

The roots reminded me of sin. How it is so easy to sin, call it a little sin, do it again and soon we are so deeply rooted in sin we don't budge. Maybe we don't make a move to change because we are enjoying it or maybe it's because we feel so guilty that we think we won't be loved.
God is waiting with love to pull us away from those roots and to forgive. Oh, we will have scars and possibly a hole until healing is complete. But it will be a lesson learned. And soon we can grow again and produce fruit that will honor God.

I'm thankful for The Cross and God's love!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Child Support Rules and Regulations

Really tick me off.

Sunday Sunday

It has literally been a day of rest.

Mom and I cleaned up - but kept on our PJ's - we needed this quiet day.  I made a pot of chili and a strawberry cake. 

I needed today.

Praying for many and praying for a good week.

I am helping Sam on paper and of course this is exam week.  Pray for him - he freezes during exams. The knowledge is there - but it needs to travel down his arm and onto the paper.

God is good.

Saturday, May 17, 2014


Mom had a decent day...she slept late after our extremely late night.

She ate a good breakfast. 

She needed a haircut so she went with Sam and I.

A few pics....

I told them short..she was not happy.

All done! Looks good!

After the store and dropping Sam off...I thought she would be ready to get out of car...but nope she wasn't budging..,as you can see below.

I had to lay her down half way pull her legs to get her out of the car. That was a hoot. 

I love her but she has worn me out this week! 


Sam worked today at school helping to clean and paint their locker room.

With permit in hand he is driving with me in car and doing a good job!  He likes going with me places right now because he drives. I'm enjoying these times..we are talking about many things.

Side note: the brakes don't work on the passenger side. I am also so much more patient than I was with Tori...I hate that I was so nervous with her. That being said...Sam is a more conservative driver than Tori.

After I picked him up we went for haircut them I dropped him off for a birthday party.

A few pics....

Driving from football...

Haircut. Sharp memories hit me here. I can remember his first haircut when his hair was ringlets. Soon he will drive himself to get a haircut. Sigh

 He's waiting for mom to finish with her haircut.

The finished product...handsome young man! 

I'm a proud mom!

Friday, May 16, 2014

Bad night

The new medicine did not work for mom.

Tonight has been hell. Absolute hell.

She has kicked, hit, pinched, threw a glass of milk.

She has literally thrown herself in the looks like a walking bruise. Melecia and I both are upset about it.,.we try to catch her, keep her from hitting, or pulling stuff off of things. I feel guilty. 

I was ready to throw in the towel tonight. Mom would not last in a nursing home...I can't do it.

We..I must find better ways to handle this extreme aggression.

Please pray. 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Internship and prayer requests

Tori has begun a new internship with the Sheriff's office - she loves it.  I really think this is her field..her niche.

Every day before football - Sam sends me a text that says "Remember to pray for me momma" - how sweet is that?  I type a prayer - I tell him to pray also.  I am so glad both kids believe in the power of prayer and God's provision and protection.

Preplanned and done

I don't know if I mentioned it - but I have paid for and arranged for mom's final services.  It was not hard - in fact I had them laughing.  I firmly believe the funeral industry is a racket, air tight, vented, water sealed, not sealed.  I asked them, at this point in a person's life - does it matter? Satin or cotton? Pink or purple?  I felt like I was at a coffee shop making quick decisions. 

Mom has always been very private - she requested a graveside service, and that is what she will get.  But it is done.  It wasn't hard. 

And you can write this down - I am not having folks over at my house afterwards - they didn't come before - I sure as heck don't want them here - saying things like they did at my dads..."I didn't visit because I knew he wouldn't know me." or "I was just too busy."  I already know what I am going to do - after the service - I am leaving with my family and staying away for just a bit. I am so thankful - we have already divided heirlooms, etc.   There is no money - so that won't be an argument or discussion. 

Don't get me wrong - I hope mom lives much longer - but this is a burden off my shoulders.


I am feeling many things.

Worry - we have changed mom's medicine around.  On the upside - she is talking clearer and walking stronger.  She eats without prompting. Tells us when she goes needs to potty (that had stopped).  She can have a conversation -sort of - if you lead her there.  On the downside - she is very energetic and into everything - more so than usual.  If you were to come into my house - you would think we had a toddler - and I am not kidding.  Locks, toys, nothing sitting around - you name it. 

Sadness - I feel lonely.  One sister asked me where I found my compassion and how I can show it toward mom.  I tell her it is through God...praying for the compassion I need, the love and forgiveness toward mom and others...even my sisters.  Oh, but I am lonely - I feel so deserted.

Stress - work is getting busier and busier - our peak season has it.  In the land of electronic media - my emails have increased.  It blows my mind how many I handle in a day.  I like my job - love it.  I have a good team - but boy we get fussed at daily from every sort of person you could think of.

Household chores - I want to go on strike. 

Groceries - I made my family mad - I bought no junk food/snacks, etc.  None of us need it and I saved $65 on groceries this past week - compared to the week before.  I bought fruit, etc.  Hmmph!  I am cutting back, meal planning, etc.  I am tired of spending what I was spending - it is so easy because things are so high.  In two weeks I spent $525 on groceries - unreal - we cannot afford that.  No one can.  It is at the point, I hate going to the grocery store - and I have learned not to go too early on the weekends - because it will be gone by Tuesday.  Am I wrong on this?

Did I mention I am lonely - I feel so sad right now - I could cry.  I just want to go to someone's house, curl up on the couch and just let them take care of me.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Picture collages.....

Having fun with an app on my phone. 

A trip to the podiatrist

Had to take mom to the podiatrist this past Thursday. I was dreading it. We though she had am ingrown toenail...but she needed her nails trimmed...they were real thick. Melecia went with us.  Mom did great-it hurt a bit..and she cried. She took extra relaxation med and I took her baby doll which she held the whole time. She feels better and walks better. 

Pretty in pink

Mom had a good day. Here she is in am outfit my sister Pam gave her for her birthday.

Pam came today for early Mother's Day has a couple more outfits to add to her closet...I think she is set for summer. 

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Happy 16th Birthday Sam

Happy 16th Birthday.I am blessed to have you as my son. You are growing into a fine young man. You took forever it seemed to walk and talk. When you finally walked it turned into running. You were sick so much as a baby...but look at you now- strong and healthy. You grew up with three women until the age 10. I am proud to say you are protective of women, you open doors, carry bo...oks and offer your seat. Yet ,you are all get dirty, play football..and all the things a guy likes to do.You have a dry sense of humor. I wish you could have known my dad-your Pepa-I have no doubt you would have been close. You have studied the Bible in worked so hard in FCF and Royal are ready for a new chapter. I am proud to say you give to others..buying lunch or taking breakfast to someone in need. You now keep me awake with XBox Live..but you help take care of Mema when I need a break. We have our not always rosy...but you don't hold onto anger. You are very smart! I can see you in the Marines or in law enforcement. Your future is bright.

I love you!


Sunday, May 04, 2014

My Attitude Adjustment and Other thoughts

This week - I sent text messages to both kids, and I was talking to myself also.  We need to be more patient and kinder to mom. She does not know what she is doing, and will not remember correction.

The goal, smile when you approach her, take her hand, and hug her.  I would like to say we had 100 percent success - but we stumbled - but we absolutely saw a difference in mom.  I am not going to lie, it is hard to be hit and kicked and be patient - but my reaction was better, and mom was better.

The kids did better and I am proud. They tend to come to my defense.

Also, Alzheimer's patients have tunnel vision - you cannot talk to them from the left or right - you have to look at them - if you do not - it will just frustrate them - they do not know to turn their head.  They look ahead, looking for a  person. 

I had a break today - Steve sat with mom so I could run to the dollar store, Naifeh's and my therapy place - Sonic. A whole hour and 10 minutes to myself. 

I have tons of laundry to fold, and dishes to put away.  I don't cook on weekends - maybe breakfast - but there is plenty for snack it and eat it.  I have to take something off of me. 

Sam mowed our yard - he used the push mower - but we have to get the riding mower checked out - we need to replace belts and blades.  I have to be honest - I am paying to have our lawn treated - it has helped out tremendously - it is a treat - not a necessity - but considering that I am the one that usually does the yard work - I am doing it for myself.  We have only mowed twice since Spring and we are in May - that is highly unusual.  Next week - I am going to begin working on a rock garden - I know it will take some work - but I want it in the back - and I guess I will slowly add to it.  I just don't have time for flower beds, and such - but I do want to spruce things up.

I ask for prayer for my friend Nancy - as you know she had breast cancer - had surgery to remove both breasts in November - plastic surgery in February - and a few weeks ago she fell - breaking her leg in crucial places that resulted in surgery - 8-10 weeks off from work - and she is beginning painful physical therapy.  She is one of the sweetest ladies you could ever meet.

A pet peeve...

More and more of mom's meds ate coming packaged like this. And I have one packaged the same way.

Press here..pull here. Stresses me out because I have to try about three times. I sometimes end up cutting the package. 


Sam, mom and I went out Saturday. Sam will be 16 Tuesday. He already had some money, and we added to it and he purchased a new Airsoft Rifle. He loves the sport...they play "war" - usually all men from church. 

We saw my cousin Mae at Walmart. Mom recognized her and was hugging her and kissing her.

Mom and Mae

Sam and I before unloading groceries

Sam and his birthday gift. He purchased at a new Airsoft and paintball shop in Munford. It should go over because there are so many who are into the sport. We know the folks...

Mom had a good day...getting out. She was good. Happy. And tired! It is hard getting her ready and getting her in the car. But I must get her out more. We both need the socialialzation.

Friday, May 02, 2014


My baby will be 16 Tuesday. Hard to absorb. 

Weekend is here...

Last week it was horrible. I really need a peaceful one.

I was stuck on the same song for four days...I was drained.  Surely, I'm due for a break.

Justice for Holly

Look up Holly Bobo. She disappeared a few years ago. They have arrested three men.

Pray for her family as details are revealed. 
But I am so glad resolution is close. May her family find peace and rest.

Award night for Tori...

Tori won an award the other night for serving on SGA and Criminal Justice League President.

She has an interview soon for an internship. She is so close to a degree. She sometimes gets discouraged at the pace...she wants to be finished..bit will graduate debt free.

Receiving award

Tori and I before ceremony

Just a pretty girl


I look ugh..but my fresh haircut. Going to hide the roots and gray tomorrow.

New office mate

 Coworker found this critter outside our was a good size...later released into nearby field.

Thursday, May 01, 2014


It is the little things in life.....Chik Fil A now offers - grilled chicken nuggets.  They had them in kids meals - now you can order off menu - and they will turn nuggets, salad and drink into a meal and it is cheaper.