Monday, December 31, 2012


I want to be closer to God. To be wiser in His word. To pray more and read the Bible more.

I want to be a better person.

I want to be a better wife,mom, daughter, sister,friend and employee.

I want to be a better money manager. A better steward of what God has given me.

I want my family to eat at the table more often without TV, phone and distractions.

I need glasses and dental work. I want to be healthier. I need to take better care of myself.

I can do none of the above without God.

Happy New Year all. Pray for each other, our leaders and our country. May we all be closer to God a year from now.

Ringing in the New Year...

We party hard in our house.

We are in pj's and we had ice cream from Sonic.

Happy New Year

Sunday, December 30, 2012

A change of scenery and a dime

As fast as the icky mood came it has left.

Our ride to Walmart and seeing one of nieces perked mom up. A different woman! I know in her mind she is frustrated and doesn't know how to voice it.

She is happy again, eating Mrs. Weavers.

Thank you God for breaks in the day.

On a dime...

Mom has been having a good day.

I unlocked a security door to let Sam in. I turned my back for a minute...she was out the door. Sam caught up with her, I heard yelling "help, help, he's trying to kill me"

I run outside to see mom sitting in the yard.

We get her inside. Right now she's madder than all get out. Thinks we are trying to hurt her. We are out driving around. Sam is in Game Stop looking around. Mom and I are in the car and she is saying some mean things. This is me trying not to get discouraged.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Dear Washington....:

Today I spent $200+ on groceries and household items for my family of five. $25 for gas.

You can't get your act together. And because of your are hurting us...the ones you serve.

I'm disappointed in all of you. I'm aggravated.

Grocery Store..,,

Mom and I went to the grocery store this afternoon. I'm sick at the cost of everything. Ugh! How can we keep going at these prices?

Mom, for some reason wanted to carry apples and light bulbs throughout the store. I have no clue why but it kept her happy.

Afterwards, I took her to Burger King. She loves a Whopper Jr. I ate a banana from our shopping trip.

I'm funny how I unpack groceries. I like to do one bag at a time. Mom empties every bag then put up. Ha! Talk about conflict.

We picked up the house today and I have washed sheets. Going to get those on. You know me, I love clean sheets.

Hopefully we can go to church tomorrow.
Happy Saturday!

Up for another year....

Sam and I took down the decorations tonight-he helped under duress, ha ha! I have to checkout how he put things up in the attic, he rushed and said a couple things dropped.

I love to decorate for Christmas, but it feels good to have things back in their place. For some reason the putting up of the decorations forced me to clean the top of my refrigerator. ugh! Explain that to me.

I hope to clean up a few other things over the next few days.

Friday, December 28, 2012


This is going around the email chain...but I liked it.

Share it!

A matter of perspective (Quite Interesting & Food for Thought)...

The Difference Between Rich and Poor People

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all give thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!


I heard this on Focus on the Family today.
The topic was strong willed kids...however it fits for any relationship...

"Those who anger you, control you."

Cynthia Tobias

Thursday, December 27, 2012


It snowed the day after Christmas.  Didn't stick around long.  We didn't really get that much.... But I am through with winter.  I really am a wimp when it comes to cold weather.

But here is our house at the end of the day.  The wind blew one of our wreaths down.  I didn't see the point in hanging it back up.  Ha ha.

As I am looking at a picture of our home - God has really blessed us. I have simple tastes -nothing fancy in this girl.  We survived some hard times, where we thought we would have to move and start again.   I am sure we will have other valley's. God is opening the door prayerfully for a reduced mortgage.  I know that brick and walls don't create a home - but I do love our home.  And walking in. 

Thank you God for your provision. Thank you for the warmth and the safety we have...I have each night. 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas Day

Our time on Christmas morning and day......

 Steve - yes  he is as sleepy as he looks...Sam was calling us on our cells to wake us up.
 Tori opening her new comforter
 Sam and his new Airsoft gun.....he loved it.
 My sweet girl
 Mom....we wrapped up a bunch of small gifts like lotions, etc...she had a blast.
 Steve is about to open up his favorite gift...a new checkbook cover.
 Tori's Facebook Post.
 Tori at Dinner
 Mom at Dinner
 Sam at dinner - he has never been one to like his picture taken - takes after his momma
 Mom and Tori - and Pete the Repeat Parrot!
 Sam, Steve and Tori
 Sam and Tori
Me and the kiddos


Christmas Eve we went to my sister Judy's house.  She gave mom a Beta Fish and a music box. Both of which - mom loved.

(I must admit I am posting pictures of myself - and I realize how badly this girl need to lose weight.  How does it happen?! I was doing so good for so is embarassing)


Here are some pics....

 Yours truly in the green, mom and Judy
 Judy and Charlie (her hubby)
 Judy, Charlie and their youngest son - Ryan (their older twins were not there)
 Sam and Ryan
 Steve and I
 Judy and Charlie

Tori and Sam


At the last minute Steve and I saw this movie yesterday....everyone was settled so we decided to get out.

Go see it. A good, funny, CLEAN, movie.

Cornelius Family Christmas

I did not get all the folks there! 

But here a few.  By far this was the best time I've had with the Cornelius family. We are blessed.

 The unlces and Steve's dad..
Harold, Bud, Clark (Steve's dad) and Gerald
 Steve's sons
Brandon, Davin and Steven...three good looking young men!
 Steve and Sons
 Clark, Steve and the boys.
 Five great kids!
Bud and Claire


My sister came over Sunday with gifts and goodies......

 Mom reads her cards!
 Blue Jeans!
I want to remember this one - out of everything that was in that box - her new undies was her favorite!  

Christmas at Crosspointe....

Crosspointe Baptist Church...our home church...right now our attendance is up and down. But we have an awesome church family.   It just looked beautiful.  Here are a few pics....


Tuesday, December 25, 2012


I will update our Christmas happenings later.

Before the decorations come down, and the leftovers pushed to the side for a pizza and wrapping paper tossed....

Remember why we celebrate. A baby born to save us.

His name is Jesus.

Monday, December 24, 2012


Mom wore me out today. I'm just sick with exhaustion. She's been up since 5:00am.

Pray we rest well.

Christmas Blessings

We were able to go to church yesterday morning. It was nice.

My sister Pam and her hubby came over after church and brought some goodies. She gave mom blue jeans and under clothes. Much needed!

Last night we had Steve's family over. We had a wonderful time. I cooked Mexican. It was good. Steve's sons were here - it was good to see them. By far it was one of my favorite times. I was not stressed about the house. I just enjoyed the visit and the family so much. Lots of talking and laughter.

Tonight we went to my sister Judy's house. Had finger foods. It was very relaxing. Mom came home with a music box and a Beta Fish. She loves them!
I received my 2nd pair of pj pants! Melecia gave me my 1st ever pair the other day. (She said I need to rest!) I have always wanted pajama pants. Steve received movie passes. Which he will totally enjoy. Judy and I said it was one of the best Christmas Eve's ever. We didn't stress about details and such! Just hanging out and being us!

I have to figure out how to post pics from my phone. I will post them at some point.

Merry Christmas Eve.

I'm so thankful for that little manger. And The Baby who rested within.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Blessed Day....

Today we delivered gifts to the mission. We being my sister, myself and mom.

Then we went to the family bookstore and had lunch. We had a good time. We laughed and cut up. It was fun.

Thursday, December 20, 2012


We finished wrapping up the boxes for the mission. We have over 40!

God is so good. He totally multiplied. We had just enough boxes and bags. They each have hats, gloves, toiletries, and a few have socks , shirts and such!

What a blessing! I'm so excited. Did I mention God is good? All the time! I am thankful and so blessed for the opportunity to help just a tad.

I have to be honest I had more fun wrapping these than some other presents we have bought.

Hard day!

I had a very hard day at work. I am spent. I wish I could describe it. I literally could not hang up the phone.

I have been fussed at by so many people it is unreal.


Melecia suprised us Saturday with a had not seen her since the previous Thursday - two whole days!  And that is a long time in Alzheimer Land!

The whole time Melecia was there - mom held her hand.

Here are a couple of pics....

Dollar General

I love our little Dollar General.

They are organized and with it.

But most importantly they understand mom. They are so patient with her. And they work hard and are always positive.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Don't you?

Appreciate the fact there is an empty tomb?

One year ago...

One year ago this week I made a decision to clean up what I listen to on the radio and watch on TV.

I had become desensitized. Nothing seemed to faze me or shock me. Now I see just how much garbage we are bombarded with daily. We aren't offended anymore or bothered by what we see and hear. That is so not good! Our ears and eyes should be offended.

I'm so glad I made that choice. God has provided awesome radio and TV - it's out me.

I wish Hollywood would realize that people do appreciate clean - quality family entertainment. I do!


Parenting Tip:

If you want to torture your 14 year old son. Turn off the TV. And gulp..make him study!

Ha ha!

Monday, December 17, 2012


I copied this from Kate Krull's blog.

On Tuesday, December 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence.  Please try to not post anything else that day if possible.

We are also raising money that will go to an organization in the memory of this tragedy. The organization is called The Newtown Family Youth and Family Services. Here is the official description of the support service we are donating to:

"Newtown Youth and Family Services, Inc. is a licensed, non-profit, mental health clinic and youth services bureau dedicated to helping children and families achieve their highest potential. NYFS provides programs, services, activities, counseling, support groups and education throughout the Greater Newtown area.


We can't imagine how they must be feeling, especially this close to the holidays. We would love for you to spread the word on your own blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Let's make a difference and use blogging in a positive way. Thank you in advance for participating.


The Blog World

p.s. If you would like to, copy-paste and repost any part of this, please do. Share on.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Clarity and Certainty

Heard this today on KLove.

We may never have clarity on Friday's tragedy. We may continue to ask why and try to figure it out. We most likely never will.

But we have certainty of ultimate victory. God is on His throne. The tomb is empty. Satan can use whatever evil he chooses but in the end we have the certainty that Jesus Christ is returning.

Do you know Him? Is He in your heart? He loves you so much.

A good day

Steve and I at the last minute decided to get out. Boy did we need it.

Sam watched mom. We did a little shopping..the only time we have shopped together all season and ate a dinner of a hot dog and coke at Sam's. You just can't beat $1.50 for a meal. Told him I was a cheap date! Ha!

I had such a good time just being with Steve. Not much money was the fun of being together.

I really do love my hubby!


Yesterday mom and I stayed in. It was a good day. Steve went to help his niece move, Sam was at a friends and Tori worked.

The house was quiet. I picked up the house and such. But after I took a shower I just collapsed. I slept for three hours. And mom let me! She watched TV, napped and snacked.

I wrote the other day I am just exhausted. Spent. It takes every ounce of energy I have to get out of bed...I just want to stay there. I ache. Depression? Stress? Anxiety?

As I've said before,I know this is a season. And part of life.

I just ask you to pray for our family.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Mike Huckabee

He has been a comforting voice on TV tonight. He his wise, kind and has a peaceful spirit.

On his show tonight was Darrell Scott he lost his daughter at Columbine. He said he had a mentor tell him "to see through your circumstances than to look at them."

As we always should - we need to pray. We need to look to our Heavenly Father in every circumstance.

As the names of these sweet children are being released. Their deaths need not be in vain...may our country, our leaders and us as citizens open the door to God to enter in, to work, to heal and save.

Pray for their parents and their families. They have a painful journey I cannot imagine that is just beginning.

God, forgive me for not putting you first. For worrying about the next paycheck instead of the soul who is checking me out at the store. Forgive me for failing you and thank you for never failing me. Lord be with each parent, brother, sister, grandparent, relative and friend of those who died. Thank you for those who rushed to rescue and help. Thank you for The Cross. Thank you for saving me.


I need prayer. Much on my mind.

Selfishly I worry.

A prayer

May our Nation turn to God.

Friday, December 14, 2012


I can't even watch the news.

Innocent children. Doing their math or possibly making Christmas decorations and counting on recess.

Their parents who packed their lunches, checked their backpack, and kissed them for the last time this morning.

God where is your hand? What is the purpose? I want to know. I want to understand. This one time can't we..can't they be given a do-over day?


That is how I feel. My toenails hurt. I have no personal or vacation time left. Ugh!

Melecia is sick. My whole little household is covering the day in shifts. No sense rocking the boat with a sub for one day.
Bless her heart she hasn't felt good all week but has been a trooper and works hard.

We have a few things hitting us, please be in prayer.

Mom was up and down all night. She was looking for my dad. She hasn't done that in awhile.

To the shower I go... I love a good hot shower. A true blessing.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


I have a cold.  I wish I could be in bed.  I am at work - trying to stay away from everyone and not touch anything.  Boy do I feel bad.  Ugh.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


Pray for those involved in the Oregon mall shooting.

I can't imagine what people are going through at this moment. Lives forever changed.

Tonight those of us safe at home are so blessed as we are every night.


Last week I read an article on how to help with wandering.  Wandering is a major concern with Alzheimer patients.  A huge worry. 

Friday night I cut out and laminated stop signs for every door and window in the house.  Plus one for the stove and the microwave - that said HOT!  The door signs say "Martha stay in!  You are safe!"
The doors stay locked - but the stop signs seem to be relieving her frustration of locked doors and windows. And she sees the ones on the microwave and stove - even though we have child locks on them. It is a universal sign that seems to be working.

I don't know how long they will work.  But anything to keep her from being frustrated. And for making my day just a little easier.

Update - she is feeling much much better.  Praise the Lord!  However her caregivers - aka - Melecia and I are fighting colds. 

Monday, December 10, 2012

Doors and drawers...

Do you ever count how many times your kids slam doors and drawers?

Instead of two in the house it sounds like I have a dozen kids in the house. Ha ha

Monday Nap....

After Melecia left this afternoon, mom and I both fell asleep. Boy that felt good. I guess I was more tired and stressed than I thought.

I have pretty much relaxed all evening. We did yesterday too. I had really hoped to go to church last was our Christmas musical. But mom wasn't up to going and it was raining-I knew she did not need to get out in that after being sick. I am sad I missed it. She and I both went to bed last night by 7:00! I guess we both needed rest. Tori said she couldn't believe it when she came home and I must have been tired because I didn't hear her come home to change out of work clothes. I didn't hear her come back either!

I say all this because I know I'm worn out. Besides paid holidays I've had one day off where it was a do nothing day. In my long wait today at court I was looking through a calendar from this year..full of doctor, social, case worker appointments for mom. A few doctor visits for Sam.

I'm asking you to pray with me that we can get some time away real soon and possibly more regularly in 2013.


I was the last one seen in court today. It is depressing to know there are so many parents who avoid their responsibility. It also makes you mad.

He didn't show up. Not a surprise.

So we have a continuance...a new court date in March.

I refuse to hire a lawyer to get money. Does that make sense? I will just allow the system to handle - eventually it will catch up with him.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Another reflection.....

It has been a whole year that I haven't worked two or three jobs.

For 11+ years I worked multiple jobs in one form or the other.

God is good!

What a difference a year can make....

I'm laying in bed listening to mom dust and mop. I'm reflecting. I'm like one of those year end TV shows that air a year in review special.

A year ago I was literally taking care of two houses..driving between ours and moms multiple times a day. Mom called me on the average of 15-20 times a day. I was more exhausted than I am today. And trust me - that is saying something. Though it is hard being a full time caregiver it is easier having mom with us. We don't worry about her being alone or wandering. She eats better and is stronger physically.

We are getting back on our feet after four years of taking hit after financial hit. This time last year we barely had money for groceries and gas. We have a long way to go..but it is better than last year. Pray as we work to qualify for a mortgage program that will reduce our mortgage. How wonderful that would be. As I was talking with a mortgage advisor, she said "I don't get it, I really don't. How have you made it? On paper it doesn't make sense." I told her very simply "God. That is how I explain it." She replied by saying " I can't enter that into a computer." I told her that it is all God. A side job would come in, a refund check, a gift card...God.

Tori and Sam are growing. Who am I kidding? Tori is 20.

My sister Judy and I are close again. After a few bumpy months. Sometimes you need space and silence. We talk everyday a couple times a day. My other sister and I though not as close do talk. Mom did things years ago that no one knew she did until last December when we were trying to make decisions. Everyone had to sort feelings and thoughts.

My marriage is definitely stronger. We both had scars and wounds. Then with arrows and darts coming from every direction I was beginning to wonder if we would make it to the next week. Arguments and hurtful words were common. Now they are less frequent. Steve has taken on a lot with mom moving in. It is not easy. I do love my guy.

God has provided sources for me to study, learn and grow from - when attending church regularly has not been possible.

God is good. He is faithful in the valley and on the mountain top.


Christmas Party......

We had a sweet wonderful time with friends last night.

Lots of laughter and cookie eating. :)

We played dirty Santa. Sam played for the first time and his competitive spirit was in full force. He set his eyes on one gift and he ended up with it! A Charlie Brown Christmas tree-bought by yours truly . He didn't know what the gift was until it had been opened...and after that he coached folks to take his until the gift was on his hands. Ha ha!

Mom still felt bad yesterday.....she ended up going to just rest for a bit before the party and ended up sleeping sound all night long. She did get up one time right after everyone left, ate a snack then went back to sleep. Selfishly, though I hated she felt bad, I enjoyed the relaxing time with our friends.

Saturday, December 08, 2012


I've mentioned before that I have court again on Monday in regard to child support or lack thereof.

I hate it. I hate the controversy, the hashing out of details in a room full of people going through the same thing. It is a flawed system, it makes you sick or me anyway. If folks would do what is right -much of all this could be avoided.

They love their dad and he loves them. But to be a father is to be responsible. He continues to make questionable decisions. Okay stupid decisions. Another job lost- so we start over again. I pray one day he realizes that every decision - good or bad- has consequences.

I have a nephew who has custody of his daughter because mom makes bad decisions and choices.

I just don't get it. I certainly don't understand the system and legalese.

Pray for us Monday as we go to court in the morning.

Musings and updates.....

Cookies and fudge.....are done. Yummy!

Mom went to the doctor - she has a ruptured ear drum and sinus infection. She has felt so bad! They gave her a cocktail shot and she sounds better. Plus a round of antibiotic.

Sam went to a birthday party last night. He said it was one of the best parties he's been to. They had a bonfire, ate pizza and pranked neighbors. Ha ha. Just good ole fashioned fun.

Because of baking and picking Sam up late from party I went to bed way later than usual. I still woke up at my usual
2:00 am but didn't stay awake. But woke up at 6:00. I plan to snooze for a bit.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Prayer Request

Pray for Diane.  She is having car problems. There is no money for repairs or a new car. 

However, we serve a big God and I know He will provide for one of His most faithful servants. 

I love you Diane.  I am trusting God for a miracle.


Mom does not feel good.  (as I type - Tori and Melecia are at doctor with her).

But she still wanted to mop and dust this morning.

But she tuckered out. She fell asleep with mop in hand. 

Cake mix cookies....

I'm going to try them. They sound almost too easy.

For our party this weekend I'm also making cookies my mother called "rock cookies" they are good and fudge. The fudge will be the first of many batches.

I can remember helping mom every year bake her cookies. My dad sneaking into the kitchen to snatch a few. Never understanding yet another rule that we couldn't eat the cookies til Christmas and it would be Christmas Eve. Ha ha.

My sister Pam is one that makes all kinds of different cookies. She's really good at baking, I have to be honest I used to and still do bake the cookies from cookie dough in the dairy section. Back in my single mom days and multi job days it was just easier and cheaper and the kids had just as much fun with them. My other sister, Judy is the homemade chocolate chip cookie queen. And she will be the first to tell you she does not enjoy cooking.

Christmas cooking memories...yum.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Prayer Requests....

Karma - from work. They rushed her dad to the hospital today. A stroke caused by a blood clot.

Julie- from work. They rushed her daughter to the emergency room . Unable to hold anything down and hurting in her back and side.

Debbie - from work- her hubby will be having his kidney removed because of cancer.

Diane- best friend-she is a single mom. And I know how hard this is. She has such an awesome attitude and a huge laugh. If you don't know her trust me you would love her!

Carla- Best friend-her daughter Lacey is home from the hospital. Still not feeling so hot. Tonight they were going to the funeral home. Her husband Randy's best bud at work was killed in a work related accident.
Pray for his family and coworkers. Pray for Randy's safety! May angels surround him and the whole plant! And their son And his wife are expecting their first child, they are visiting this weekend and have showers planned. Pray for Carla. That she has peace and doesn't worry so.

Mom- she is sick. Tori and Melecia are taking her to the doctor for me tomorrow. She has a bad cold. And I just want her checked over to be safe.

Me - somehow someway I have pulled a muscle in my back today. It hurts from between shoulder blades to all the way to the front. Typing and answering phone was sheer agony. We have a Christmas party planned this Saturday. I'm trying hard not to stress about the house. And
Not worry about dust! I just want to enjoy the time with our friends.

Memphis-everyday there is a murder. Unreal! Heart breaking.

Sick mom

Mom is full blown sick. To the doctor we will go. Her little eyes are all red and puffy.

I am so tired.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012


I am tired tonight. Very much so.

Sam actually sounds worse. Mom's says her throat itches. Oh me!

Work was hard today. Phone call after phone call. Email after email. Whew.

I wrapped a couple more gifts that I ordered. I'm all about online shopping! I don't order clothes but other stuff... Oh yeah! No traffic. No lines. Nice!

We have court again on Monday in regard to child support. I don't feel too optimistic. He seems to know how to beat the system. I tell Steve we must continue to do right..God will honor it. Allow the courts to handle. Sooner or later their dad will be held accountable. Please pray!
If we finish early enough..we plan to go to a movie or something.

Mom had a good day. We had a coy try supper of vegetables and cornbread and she ate every bite!

Good night. I pray I sleep.

Is that the same kid???

See the post below.

I'm pretty sure the grouchy, smart mouthed kid who woke up this morning is the same one.

Goodness he was something else! Everything made him mad,


Doing the right thing!

I cannot believe I forgot this story!

During the parade on Monday night, I couldn't get a good picture of Sam. Why? Because he was hunched over talking on a cell phone. I thought it was his. the end of the parade I sent him a text to let him know where I was parked. No answer! I called when it was over. No answer! Hmmph! Finally found him.

I asked him why didn't he answer the phone. He said. "Mom I don't have my phone." I asked about the phone he was on during parade.....he responded by saying..."I found a phone and I was calling the mom number on the phone. And I met her on the parade walk."

How dare he do the right thing! Just kidding. I'm proud! Good job Sam!

Tuesday, December 04, 2012


I wanted to share two things that happened to us....

A few weeks ago I took a meal to a coworker who had surgery. Nothing fancy. No trouble at all. A blessing to do it.

God multiplied.

The week of Thanksgiving....someone gave us a Thanksgiving basket. And then
the coworker whom we cooked the meal for cooked us a meal. Enough for two meals. I brought it home tonight.

I say this not to brag but to be a testimony on God's provision. God multiplied a simple meal of chicken and dumplings into several meals.

Why haven't I learned? If God did this with a simple meal....what could He do with my total surrender and obedience? What can I do for God? How can I glorify Him?



The toys are no longer misfits!

Best Friend...

I was late coming home today. Sam relieved Melecia.

I am never too sure "which mom" I'm coming home to. Especially if she thinks I'm late.

But today I came home to happy mom. She said "I had the best day with Lisha (Melecia) ... She's my best friend."

What a blessing Melecia is to all of us!

Bed side lamp....

My bedside lamp shorted out.

I like my lamp. :)

I think I have one in the attic I brought over from moms.

Monday, December 03, 2012


Mom is better. Boy do I need to be more patient.

She went right to bed. Refused to wear her sleepers but that is okay. When I arrived home from work she was mopping.

When I say short term memory is bad.. I really mean bad. She cannot remember a conversation from five minutes ago. This is the area I need to work on my patience.


Carla's daughter does not have appendicitis. But she did stay overnight for observation. Viral they are thinking. She's been pretty sick.

Carla like Diane is a sister to me. Friends I love dearly. I know she appreciates your prayers.

Small town parade....

There is something nice about small town parades. The kids lining up to catch candy. The horse clubs lining up their finest. The high school band practicing and the football players cutting up.

I'm sitting in the car at curbside with mom waiting for it to begin, we are near the four way stop hopefully Sam will see us and end up back here. He doesn't feel that great.

(Side note and totally off subject...Another cool thing. I went for the first time to pharmacy here to get his medicine filled was nice. Didn't have to wait! Whoo hoo. )

There is a little girl next to us wearing her Halloween costume of a princess of some sort. She just counted to a 100. She can hush now. Ha ha.

Mom enjoyed the parade. The whole thing came by us twice. So a few folks I knew in the parade...I ran up them and told them mom was there and they had their whole group waive at mom and call her by name. Now that is cool. And nice!

Sam sounds so much worse after being in the parade. I hope we don't regret it.

Monday Monday....

Mom is doing much better today.  Whew.  She has slept a lot today - my guess is she is just wore out from the weekend.  I am still feeling guilty, worried, sad...I can only imagine how she feels.

I talked to the doctor this morning - we are rearranging medicine just a tad. She is complaining she has a sore throat and earache - so he called in medicine for that. And gave me some advice. 

Tori took Sam to the doctor - he has an ear infection and sinus infection.  I know it is a silly thing to do...he is marching in the Christmas parade tonight with his football team - he wanted to wear his jersey one last time.

Here is what his coach said about him in an email:

I appreciate all that Sam did to make our team successful and I really think he will be a really good high school player.I enjoyed him so much as a player but more so as the fine young man that he is.I look forward to walking in the parade with him.

Coach Larry

I cried a tad when I read these words.  I am so proud.

I ordered a few more Christmas gifts.  I haven't been to the mall the first time this holiday season.  I have done most online and at Walmart.  A lot less stressful.  A girl here at work told me the stores were worse this past weekend than they were the weekend after Thanksgiving.  I have wrapped everything I have bought so far.  We are blessed to be able to buy gifts.  Last year was hard. 

Please be in prayer for my friend Carla. She is at the emergency room with her daughter. She is sick - they are thinking appendicitis.  Her hubby is on vacation this week and there was an accident close to where he worked - men were hurt, one killed.  Please please be in prayer for those hurt and their families. And the family of the one who lost his life. 

Any Height Welcomed On This Ride...

Up and down. Roller coaster ride is how to describe Sunday.

Mom was very demanding until after lunch ...then she leveled off. We didn't make it to morning services, but mom and I went to evening. She wasn't Alzheimer mom she was the old mean mom who would say the cruelest things, criticize and demean. By the time we got back home I was so tense and stressed. But boom! We walked into the door and she turned into argumentative Alzheimer mom.
Unreal. All evening she knew names, faces, etc. but lost it. Unreal! There are no words. Then she went to sweet mom.

I did cook a decent breakfast and put chili in the crockpot for lunch. Both meals were good. And I did manage to take a nap. I curled up in the recliner and rested.

I wish I could describe all the feelings I have. Sadness, anger, discouragement, loneliness, confusion and much more. I can only imagine how mom feels.

Sam is sick with fever and a horrible cough. To be safe Tori is taking him to the doctor for me tomorrow. As I'm typing this I've heard mom cough. Uh oh!

I'm claiming Monday as a better day.
"Give is this day our daily bread.." I need to take life one day, one moment at a time.

God forgive me for trying to fix it and for fretting so. Forgive me for not turning to you first. Thank you for the daily, hourly and minute bread. Thank you for loving me.

Sunday, December 02, 2012


Going through Saturday in my mind. I've replayed it in my head over and over. Nothing was different about our day. I didn't see the trigger.

I don't see what we could have done different.

I knew when regular confused mom was back when she put her sweater on and emptied her purse a dozen times. I bought her some makeup and such. She has enjoyed taking it out and looking at it. The doctor or his office never called me back. Hmmph!

Mom went to bed. And has rested. I hear her snoring through the wall. Ha!

After she went to bed and I knew she was settled. Sam sat here and I went to Walmart and did a little bit of grocery shopping and Christmas shopping. I wanted to get it done in preparation for Sunday...not knowing what the mood will be and wanting to be ready to go to church if we can.

Tori had to work on her birthday. But she received many wishes and a few gifts, we gave her a certificate to get her hair done.

Alzheimer's ... when one family member has it-there are many "victims." It touches every family member in one way or the other.

Saturday, December 01, 2012


Now she is resting. Once I know she is sleeping..I will go to grocery store. Not much of a restful break.,,but I will get out of the house for a bit.

Thank you for allowing me to vent and most of all for your prayers.


No longer mean. Calmer and confused. Poor mom. I can't imagine how she feels. It has to be torture for her.

Boy this has been a long day.

In between moments I've managed to clean out my dresser and closet. That felt good. I just hung out outside lights and wreaths. Nothing fancy just rope lights on our porch poles. First time I've done it. I need to tackle mountain of laundry. It's piled up on our bed.

I must admit I'm lonely and sad.

A bad day.....

Mom is bad today.

She has tried getting out of the house in every way, shape or form. . She took a pair of scissors and tried breaking glass. She kicked the door so hard multiple times she had sprained her foot and leg. In the midst of Steve stopping the scissor attack she clawed his face with her other hand. And he grabbed her arm to stop the her arm hurts. We are racked with guilt him because her arm hurts. Me because I was in another room. And for leaving the scissors out after wrapping and decorating. The scissor thing was over in seconds but felt like hours. I don't think anything is broken but, I have called the doctor.

I hate hate this disease. I am drained from crying. Hours from now she won't even remember. But I'll remember forever.

Please pray.


Next Saturday we are having a Christmas Party here. Friends from church and work.

I am going to try hard and not obsess about the house! I want to be relaxed. I'm excited about it and can't wait.

We are having cokes, cold cuts and cookies. How's that for a menu theme? Simple and fun!

Memphis Union Mission

Filling shoeboxes. Help!!!'

We need gloves, toboggans, flannel shirts, socks, toothpaste, toiletry items, sweat shirts...even coats. Even treats. Bibles. Men and women. I would make shirt sizes XL.

If you fill a box...wrap it. Put an encouraging note inside. Mark as man or woman. Pray over your box! Commit to praying for the receiver. Allow God to work through us. We all are a paycheck or illness away.

Contact me and we can meet. My sister and I will deliver. Leave a comment (they are not published immediately-all are screened) with how I can get in touch with you. I live in Tipton County and work in Millington.

Need before Dec 21.

I'm thankful for my sister Judy for coming up with this idea. For reminding me how blessed I am.