Mom had a horrible horrible weekend. I am tired, sad, and so discouraged.
I hate this disease. I hate what it does to the person and the family.
I see no good in it. To go through it with Dad and now again with mom - it doesn't seem fair. I so miss my dad - I try to think how he would handle all of this.
In today's world we have inventions and discoveries that we marvel at. We have people winning awards for discoveries, treatments and cures. Why can't we find someting that is for the mind? The one thing that controls the whole body? People have heart transplants, liver transplants, - they can live with one kidney. But you can't live without your mind.
I have been reading a blog today - the questions they pose for caregivers are challenging.
- Imagine you not knowing what day, what month, what year it is?
- Imagine you not knowing who the person in front of you cooking your meal is?
- Imagine you not remembering that all of sisters are gone? Or your husband - and you set the table for him?
- Imagine you not being able to think of the name for "shoes" or "shirt" or "milk".
I am a caregiver...this week I am one with a resentful attitude. I love my mother. But I am so tired.
- How can you help a caregiver?
- Can you prepare a meal?
- Can you sit with the patient so the caregiver can go to a movie or to dinner?
- Can you take the patient out to eat or for a drive?
- Can you pray? Do you pray?
***I am not asking for anyone to do these things for us - but look around you - caregivers and patients of all ages and problems are around you.
As a caregiver I must learn to be patient, forgive myself when I am not or when I make a mistake-and boy do I make them. I need to treat mom as I want to be treated - with respect, love and gentleness. To baby her when needed, to be firm when necessary. Sleep when she sleeps (it is exactly like having a toddler - never wake up an Alzheimer patient - she slept 10 hours last night - I couldn't sleep worrying about her waking up). I need for her to excercise - walk more - she seems to do better if we walk.