Wednesday, January 30, 2013

My Day

Began at 5:30 after being awake from 2-4.

Packed lunches. Made breakfast. Unloaded the dishwasher. Cleaned hall bathroom and picked up living room, kitchen and our room. After my shower, cleaned our bath. Gave mom med and left for work.

Tori broke down at noon. Had to leave work to get her to work. (Thank goodness it didn't happen last night.)

Drove back to work to finish 101 emails.

Leave work, get home, cook dinner, put up laundry, do dishes. Look at taxes, do Tori's. financial aide, pack up Sam for a camping trip, check homework folders, wash another load of clothes. In between mom loses her purse twice, her sweater once before she goes to bed.

And I can't sleep. Unreal

And a side note: I could care less if Beyonce lip synched. If our President skeet shoots and if Hilary runs in 2016.
I need them to come walk in my shoes.

Musings and tired!

Tori made it home safely last night - but not without grumbling. I had to put my parental foot down. Ha ha. I wish I could adequately explain to her how I listen for her car at night.

Mom has slept later this morning than the previous two mornings. And I admit it makes for an easier morning. Allows me to pack lunches and to get breakfast ready and do dishes.

I am tired. I feel sick because of it. i just had some toast and tea, prayerfully I will perk up. I didn't sleep last night, the weather and not feeling good kept me up. I could so go back to bed right now.

Late this afternoon or tomorrow my promotion will be officially announced. I am excited!

Sam is going on another camping/church trip this weekend. He's excited. They are going to sleep on a submarine.

Well I must get ready for work. Yesterday I had over 170 emails.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tired

I'm tired and do not feel good at all.

We have approaching storms, I'm trying to stay awake but it is hard. I'd feel better if Tori was home, she's in class.

I'm going to gold laundry and pray for angels around the house and Tori.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Office Politics

I hate it. I try so hard not to participate in drama. I have three friends at work I am 100% comfortable talking to and sharing.

But as in any situation there are others who try so hard to hurt others. It bothers me. Sometimes my feelings are hurt. Their attitudes and words can ruin a day fast.

I need to be an example....I need to be a light.

Lord forgive me for not being a light today. Forgive my bitterness and anger. Come into our office, our phones and computers. We need you.

Am I a nag?

I am laying here at 2:00 in the morning wondering if I'm a nag.

I guess if I have to ask, the questioned is answered.

It is Sam. Here lately I feel as if I have to repeat myself a dozen times,until I lose it completely.

Geesh is it asking too much for him to do as asked the first time? Am I wrong? Is this a stage?

What do I need to do?

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Whew!

Mom did not "misbehave" today. But she wore me out. I could not get out of her sight. Her day started at 5:30---she was super confused. She is forgetting more words. Or has a hard time putting names to objects. I'm going to pull out some kids books and flash cards to help with that.

We had an exhausting bath time..for me anyway. She loved being pampered.

We visited my sister for a bit and went to dollar store. We vacuumed out my car. I need to spruce it up more on inside. When we got back home, she helped me sweep garage and patio. Mention cleaning - she's all about it. Ha!

But I am pooped! I made beef stew and spaghetti, so I have a couple days of meals ready.

I worked on something for my new job.

I'm trying not to be discouraged about mom, because tomorrow could be totally different.

Thank you Lord for a productive day and the strength you gave me each minute to handle it . It was all from You.


Saturday, January 26, 2013

Make-Up

My sweet daughter treated her mom to new make up.

Thank you girlie!

Saturday......

We started out totally lazy today. Mom slept until 9:00-Whoo hoo!

We had a late breakfast of eggs, toast and bacon. Mom did her usual dust mopping and such.

I covered the gray and my roots. Then she and I went grocery shopping. Of course she was starving as soon as we get in the car. So I get her usual Whopper Jr before shopping... it made for an easier shopping trip. It is aggravating on how much things cost! We have a favorite cashier at Walmart in Covington--Sheila. I seek her out. Mainly because one time she was so good with mom when we had a bad shopping time. I will wait in line for her..I let a manager know today how we appreciate her.

When we arrive home, Sam helps us unload. Mom decides she is hungry again. (How she doesn't gain weight is beyond me) so....I make her a sandwich..no fussing this time. I look around the house..and ignore it. Mom and I snooze. And it was nice.

After she went to bed, I clean and pick up and finish what seems like 100 loads of laundry!

It was just an average normal day. Mom had a good day.

Thank you God for normal. Thank you for mom's moments of clarity.



Awesome news!

I was going to wait and I won't give all details until "officially" announced.

I have been promoted and received a raise. God is so good. I did not apply for the position, they came to me! Whoo hoo!

Sometimes you wonder if hard work pays off. Or why keep trying? But it does! God provides. For years I was a single mom, and the majority of single moms I know, take pride in their job and providing for their family. That has never left me. Sure, I get tired, but I enjoy working. And when I was laid off 4 years ago to the date that I will start my new position, I felt lost. I thought I had found my niche. But through very lean hard years I depended on God more and more, and He never left me, even when I would turn left when He wanted me to turn right. I would worry, i would fret. I felt like a failure. I had to learn.

I will provide more details this week. I am so excited!

Lord, thank you thank you for this opportunity. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for your provision.
Thank you for the air I breathe. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for The Cross.
Forgive me for doubting, for worrying.
I love you.

Sleep or lack there of, $99.95 and doctor appointment

I have not slept. I have been awake pretty much all night. Ugh. And I was so tired when I went to bed.

During my night of insomnia, I've been flipping channels. And landed on a home shopping channel. For the low low cost of $99.95 you can buy a whole set of 2012 state quarters. Uh? You do the math. And I am sure someone somewhere ordered it.

I meet with surgeon on February 6. I am guessing they read the results. Thank you again for your prayers.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Momisms

Every morning mom will tell me to call her boss and tell them she is sick.

When I arrive home from work, mom will say "I have waited the whole day to see you!" I then have to kiss her cheek a bunch of times like you would a kid. She gets tickled.

We went to Burger King the other day, she wanted a kids meal. But got mad when the toy was a game and not a doll. Ha! She so loves the figurines!

She said the other day "Lord, the news is always the same. I don't think they say anything different."

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Update

My gallbladder is not working. I will have an appointment with a surgeon to see about the next step.

They tell me that it is iffy if a doctor will agree to remove it.

Please pray. I just don't feel good.

There are other issues going on in our house...I'm a wreck. Please pray

Combat

I received a news break on my phone. Haven't had the chance to read it all. But I saw they are going to allow women in combat.

What have they been doing? I thought they were in combat.

Call me old fashioned, call me wrong...I just don't see how it would be beneficial. I so appreciate every man and woman who serve. Their sacrifices are great.

Women are made to nurture. Men made to protect. Are we taking another thing away from men? What are we as wives, daughters, sisters, giving up? What have we lost? What are we gaining?

Is it necessary?

Is it necessary to weigh every time when you go to doctor. Especially when you were just here?

I need therapy!

Waiting for results.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Vicks

Boy, did Steve miss out growing up. Surely my mother was not the only mom who would smother your chest in Vicks Vapor Rub, pin a kitchen towel inside your shirt at bedtime?

You would wake up a little clearer but suffocating because the towel would be choking you.

His mom did not do this. Obviously his childhood was deprived. Mom had this big green medical book. She read it all the time. I hated that book! She was constantly diagnosing everyone with something. Ha ha. Oh, how we laugh now about the book the youngest kid would sit on to reach the table. Dual purpose, booster seat and mom's attempt to be a doctor. Ha!

I don't do the towel thing but I believe in Vicks. Steve is sick and I just put some on him, we will both wake up clearer.

Mom

Tonight she was super confused mom.

Judy came over to pick up some extra dinner we had and mom was so excited to see her. The visit did mom wonders. And me too!






119

That is how many emails I had this morning at work. We were off yesterday, but 119 between Friday at 4:30 and today 8:00- that's a lot. Of course several folks thought they were having a crisis that would knock the earth off its axis. Ha!

There are a few unanswered as I am waiting on answers from others.

I wish I could tell folks to take me off some email chains. I really don't need to know a lot of the info, once my part is done, in my mind I'm done. No need to keep me in the loop. I promise!

I need to clear my desk of a few things tomorrow. I'm praying for a productive day. I have my dr appointment in the afternoon to get results.






Roe v Wade

30 years ago today.

A decision that changed the world.

(Listen to Focus today)

God forgive us.

Routine and a present with a bow

Life with with an Alzheimer's patient is a ride. Not one I totally enjoy being on.

But I've been listening to the sounds of my household tonight and somewhere along the way we've all become used to unlocking and locking that extra door, putting the knife up, making sure safety covers are secured on stove. At one time I resented these little extras now they are part of life.
............................

I don't feel good. Whatever stuff that I drank and received in an IV has done a number on me.

Mom acted ugly part of the night. She finally went to bed. So did I. Whew!

She knocked on my door. I had to go in her room. She was upset about how she acted. I hugged her, kissed her and prayed with her then tucked her in. She said "I love you Becky...you are my daughter." That was a present wrapped in a bow.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Wouldn't ya know it...

Mom so mixed up tonight. And very antsy and nervous.

I'm so tired and drained.

Please pray.

Home

I am home. I feel terrible. I got sick during last test. Lovely.

I go to doctor on Wednesday for results. The one doctor I saw said I do have acid reflux and there is a tear in my esophagus that has to heal, the other results will come Wednesday.

Boy, I'm wiped.

Tests

I'm at hospital alone. Steve is sick. Ugh.

I'm a wreck. Geesh!

The first test does not sound like fun. Ugh.

From Charles Stanley

Today's devotional from Dr. Stanley....


How to Pray for a President

Read | Deuteronomy 17:14-20

As Christians, we have a responsibility to pray for those in authority over us—fathers, pastors, and leaders. When you talk to God about the President, ask that he will . . .

1. Realize his personal sinfulness and daily need of God’s cleansing power.

2. Recognize his personal inadequacy for the task and therefore depend upon the Lord.

3. Reject all counsel that violates spiritual principles and then trust the Lord to validate him.

4. Resist pressure from individuals or special interest groups that would have him act in violation of his conscience or godly principles.

5. Work at reversing our country’s trends toward socialism and humanism, both of which dethrone the Lord and deify man.

6. Be ready to forsake his political career and personal ambition for the best interest of the nation.

7. Rely upon the Word of God as his source of strength and key to success.

8. Bring dignity, honor, trustworthiness, and righteousness to the office of the presidency.

9. Be a good example, especially to the fathers and sons of the nation.

10. Be reminded daily that he is accountable to Almighty God for his attitudes, actions, and motivations while in office.

Leading a country is a very important, demanding job. The President and other elected officials need our prayers. But to be effective, our requests must be more specific than “Lord, bless the President” or “God, help our leaders do a good job.” The above list is a good way to start.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Me..... not going to lie

I am sorry, I have to vent. I do not mean to sound whiny or like a brat.

But I've had it. I don't think I can look for mom's purse or sweater anymore. Or literally trip on her when she follows me room to room. I know she feels secure with me, but I'm tired.

Why is it when the mom is sick, she keeps going until she can move no more? But when the men of the house get a cold, the world stops?

I'm trying to decide why I feel so stressed? Mom? Tons of laundry? Tomorrow's tests? I really am a bundle of nerves. I feel so alone right now.

Lord, boy I feel like a failure. Forgive me for being so whiny and complaining. Forgive me for not being patient and for being so resentful. I so need you. Give rest to mom. Give her more clarity. Enter my marriage. Our family. Our home. I so want to be better handling finances, to honor you. I need you in this area to Lord. I'm nervous about tomorrow and the results.

Thank you for loving me when I'm at my worst and deserve it the least. Thank you for The Cross.

I can't eat all this....

I cooked dinner.

Fixed mom's plate...she looked at it and said "I can't eat all this."

She had ate every bite. Baked potato, oven cooked cubed steak, corn and two rolls.

Ha!

49er Dance

I'm thinking my dad is in heaven right now doing his 49er dance.

They head to the Super Bowl - first time since 1994. And I'm sure as he did many years ago he is taking credit for the win.

I wish I could watch the game with him.

Go Niners!

Monday..

Tomorrow I go for my tests. I have to be there at 8:30.

Please pray.

The Grocery Store

Mom and I made our weekly trip. Last week I did it on Friday and I'm seeing the advantages of doing it then.

Trying to get her to let go of the shopping cart so they can push it through is a challenge. She gets in her head we need one item and will talk about it the whole time. Today it was canned peas. I bought them. That was her item.

After we spent too much money she wanted a hamburger. She said she was weak. Oh brother. She said it about three times in the checkout line.

So we went to Burger King and I got her a kids meal. Ha ha

So, I Lost It...

This morning mom argued about everything. And I mean everything.

She picked, nagged, criticized during bath time and after. (Again this is the normal mom I grew up with) I had fresh clothes for her laid out and she tore into me. She hated everything. I lost it. Heck. I threw those clothes down and told her to finish up herself. And she did. I was wrong to lose it. I was tired, hurting and frustrated.

Believe it or not she apologized. I did too.

I was wrong.

Inaguaration

Regardless of who is taking the oath of office, the history of it is exciting.

44 men have taken the oath. Have led our country in the worst and the best of times.

I am so grateful for our freedoms. We all need to pray for our leaders on a local,  state and national level.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Blunt Conversations

Tori and I have blunt, open conversations. Nothing held back.

I enjoy them. Love ya girlie!

The Hiding Place

Corrie ten Boom.

Sam is doing a report in school on the movie and her.

I pray the message reaches many kids.

Dang it!

Too funny not to tell.

Thankfully. I received some child support, and Sam's wardrobe and such need to be replenished and I'm working on that.

Soooooo, Thursday night took Sam to a local sports store. It was 7:30. Store closed at 8:00. I could tell the fine young men were cleaning and such and one said "dang it", when we pulled up. I saw him. I could have been snippy but they are Tori's age, and I started teasing them unmercifully about it. We bought shoes, they were laughing, Sam was laughing.

Goes to show you a little teasing and laughter go a long way.

By the time we left one had the nick name of swiffer boy because he was mopping.

Ha ha ha.


Cast The First Stone

I've listened to parts of the interview, I've listened to commentators.

Yes, he was wrong.
Yes, he should be held accountable.

Who?

Lance Armstrong, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon, Martha Stewart, Mel Gibson, Drew Barrymore, Robert Downey Jr, countless politicians and athletes, movie stars, TV stars, Me, you, the deacon at church, the Sunday School Teacher, the Evangelist.

We all are sinners. One no better than the next.

Cool thing about God. He loves, He forgives, we just have to ask.

Who are we..,who am I to cast the 1st stone?



Moments to make a mom proud.....

Both kids did things to make me so proud this week.....

Sam thought he lost his wallet- his lunch money for the week was in it. But an elementary student found it on the bus (they ride separately) and turned it in to the bus driver. Sam rewarded the kid a $1. I appreciate the honesty of the student and so proud of Sam rewarding him.

Tori was off yesterday....but she went to work to hangout and use their wi-fi. One of the managers on duty got sick and all thought she was having a stroke. No one could reach her family. So my girl took her coworker to the hospital/doctor. And stayed with her and then drove her home. Coworkers is fine. Praise The Lord!

Tori and Sam, I'm so proud of you. I am blessed to call you daughter and son. To be your mom.

Saturday.........

Ok, so I thought could do it.

I took mom shopping with me to buy Sam a pair of blue jeans. Her complaining and griping started as soon as I pulled out of the driveway. (Trust me this is the mom I grew up with..never happy)

Jeans were not on sale at Kohls. I was so aggravated. And their restroom is in the back of the store....of course mom had to go. Then she wanted to look at purses and towels. Now for the adventure. We went to Old Navy. Found the jeans. Another restroom trip. Somehow, her shoes came untied and as you know Old Navy is always busy...so had to crouch down clutching my bargains to tie her shoes. Then we are in line, of course they have their hateful display of small items. Mom kept taking toys off the shelf. Whew!

We go to chik-fil-a, mom is tickled. ( Side note, I couldn't eat it..got sick...Im tired of being sick) She enjoyed the time out-needed the time out, but complained all the way home. I was a wreck. We are home and now she is waiting for the people who live here to get home. Ha ha

8:30

Sam has gone on a camping trip, he left yesterday. Tori was off but out last night.

Mom went to bed early (but was up every hour on the hour starting at 11)

The party animals Steve and I are we went to bed at 8:30.

Ha!

A Hot Lunch

Today I was going to make mom a chicken sandwich for lunch along with some chips.

Well, she was having none of that. She looked at me then the sandwich, and said "do you mind putting effort into lunch,and make me something hot?"

All I can say she is lucky she is 82 and with Alzheimer's - anyone else would still be hungry.

Hmmph!


Ha!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Return to school.....

Today is Tori's 1st day of classes for 2013.  She did awesome in 2012!  Whoo Hoo Tori!

Better Night

Mom had a better night last night.

We decided to take her out to eat last night, we were meeting Steve.   I get home, thankfully Melecia has her all ready to go.  We walk out to the garage, she refuses to get in the car. She stands there with her arms crossed and her purse clutched tightly.  I had to do the "mom" voice - you know the one that makes us all sound possessed?  Well, she got in the car -  griped and complained all the way there.  My head started to pound.  I was soooooooooooooooo tempted to turn around and say forget it. But I toughed it out.

We pull into the restaurant, and an angel entered my mother!  Or so it seemed.  She said.  "Oooohhhh, I haven't been here in a long time, I want to eat fish."  And fish she ate. She was so sweet throughout the entire meal.  It was nice not to cook. 

She was a tad confused when we returned home - but she went to bed and we had a calm night. 

I just talked to Melecia and they are having a good day.

Thank goodness!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Frustration

I am frustrated with Alzheimer's Disease.  I am not going to lie.

It is an up and down world.  And I do try to be patient and I do try to be flexible. I try to focus on God's promises and provision.   But last night mom poured water on me, took her room apart, even moved heavy mattresses off  her bed.  Once she calmed down, I went in and put bed back together and didn't worry about clothes that she packed in bags and such. 

This morning she was so ill - she was verbally abusive. Would have nothing to do with me. 

I did much better on my response. Especially last night.  I just told her to go to her room while she was upset, that I was sorry she was mad - but we didn't need to be in the same room at the moment. And it worked.  She did sleep all night ONCE she went to sleep. I have learned that if she is this agitated and mean - then something physically is bothering her.  And we nabbed it - after nature called - she feels better.  Thank goodness.

Melecia said she is having a good day.  That is good.  I told her we would go get BBQ tonight - her favorite. 

It is so hard not to get aggravated and frustrated.

I know God has a plan in all this, I know this is a season.  I try not to worry.  I always find something to laugh about.  Because there are funny and and sweet moments.  But allow me this few minutes to be frustrated....

I'll be better later.  I think.  I hope.

When Did It Happen?????

When did Sam go from this.....

 A little boy's size 11 light up Power Ranger Shoe




To This......


Well, maybe not this brand, but a size 11 Men's Hiking boot.



Just need to know.


Good grief!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Lightbulbs

Mom is taking the light bulbs out of lights.
About to drive me nuts.

I know what you look like...

My response to Tori when she commented that I don't take as many pictures as I used to.

Ha ha ha

TV Tray....

Steve bought mom a TV tray. This is important because she slides on the kitchen floor or misses the chair.

He also said he wanted her to be comfortable when she ate at the couch and not worry about balancing everything.

He could have bought me diamonds and I wouldn't be as happy as I am with an $8 TV tray.

A very sweet thing to do.

10 whole minutes.....

I painted my nails and toenails. 10 whole minutes of pampering.

Now mom is agitated and semi-violent. Looks like we are in for a long one. She is angry with me and Sam. And it was a long day at work.

Need prayer.

Well, it's winter

Cold and icey here!

Ugh

Schools were closed today. In sure they will call it for tomorrow. I wish we would know before bedtime.

WAY TO GO DIANE!

I am so happy for my friend Diane. She got a car!  She so deserves a safe, reliable car!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Best Dressed...worst dressed

I watched the Golden Globes last night. To me it was good.

And trust me when I say I am far from an expert on fashion. And I am sure most if not all the dresses cost more than what I make in a year. I can't imagine spending that!

But it irks me to hear fashion critics knock modest dress. Especially on the younger actresses. Hmmph

What's wrong with modesty? What's wrong with understated?

Bluh

Not feeling good at all.

I am hurting and just do not feel that great.

Bluh!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Rain, visitors, and an up and down night.....

It has rained all nights.  As I write it is pouring. I soooooo dread the dogs going outside, it
is a chore cleaning up their paw prints and dirt.

Steve's uncles visited yesterday. They are characters, and two of my favorite people.   One needed help with a new cell phone.  Then my sister, Judy visited with a new purse for mom.  Mom was so excited, she knew Judy and asked about her hubby and kids.

Mom was up and down all night. Right now she is in bed. I gave her medicine to her, she may rest a bit more.

Today is sandwhich and salad day. Plus, I  have chili from yesterday,.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Rest

Mom slept all night and until 9:00. The rest feels wonderful.!

Thank you God for rest. And for a place to lay my head.

Friday, January 11, 2013

This girl...

AKA me!

Is tired. And feeling bluh! Mom and I went to Walmart. I'm trying to decide who was more tired when we returned home...it's a toss up.

Work was busy. But I accomplished taking care of 92 emails. Ugh! I managed to take care of two stacks on my desk.

Is it wrong for me to plan to be lazy?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Tragic Loss

Please be in prayer for my oldest niece and her husband. They received the news his youngest son died from an overdose.

May his death not be in vain.

Lord, I lift them up to you right now. Only you can provide peace. May others learn from this and may others be saved.

1:30 AM, thank you Washington, and me

Mom was wide, wide, WIDE, awake at 1:30 this morning.  She had made her bed, dressed and then packed up clothes and emptied her dresser.  She thought we were going to California.    She asked if we could go ahead and go downstairs...I told her the stairs were closed.  Ha ha (we don't have stairs in our house - praise the Lord!)

I am so thankful we have a lock on our hallway door - it prevents nighttime wandering. She has access to her room and the bathroom -and our room is right there. 

After I got her semi-settled - Steve and I were wide awake - so he viewed his paycheck - $42 less than before - sooooooo we have seen a decrease in almost $1,000 a year in payroll.  Hmmph!  Thanks Washington. Though it does go toward Social Security - I just don't understand how they operate our government.  Very frustrating.  I blame both sides.  Hmmph!

Doctor called my cholesterol is high.  I have agreed to try medication only because there is a direct link between cholesterol and Alzheimer's.  Add that to family history.  Need to do some preventative care.
I must admit I have had a full wake up call.  I need to take better care of myself.  Shame on me! 

Dear, Lord - thank you for the ability to laugh at mom's antics when I want to cry.  Thank you for locks and safety equipment.  Thank you for the provision of paychecks - when many don't have a job.  Forgive me for complaining and whining.  Lord, forgive me for not taking care of myself.  I give this...give me to you.  I need your help.  My strength comes from you.  Lord, Thank you for The Cross - thank you for The Empty tomb.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Mom

Mom didnt sleep that great last night. Pray she does tonight. 

She told me when I came in that she was filing a complaint with management. Bathroom small and the hall is dusty. ha ha ha

Julie

Please be in prayer for my friend and coworker Julie. Her mom passed away today.


Update On Me.....

I went to doctor. Of course I have to be treated  for severe depression after the depressing numbers on the scale.

I have tests scheduled for the 21st. Upper GI stuff. But they are leaning toward gallstones and/or pancreaitis. But you never know could be un ulcer.  I just ate and I feel horrible.

Also did a lot of bloodwork, waiting on those results.

And I received my first ever flu shot.

Thank you for praying.

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Work, NCIS, mom and such

The world of customer service. I had 82 emails when I arrived at work.  Phone calls, chats. It was never ending. Grateful for my job, I just want to be happier.

A very sweet friend and coworker cooked my family lasagna. Awesome!
We have enjoyed it. Thank you Penni.

Just watched NCIS, I'm not gonna give it away, but sad. 

Mom went to bed early. I'm so appreciative of Melecia and the work she does. We just love her.

Before I left this morning mom had emptied her closet and dresser. She hid my purse and keys. She is also folding paper towels and hiding them in weird places around the house. Her faithful sweater was wearing thin, so one night while  she was sleeping I put it up. She is now wearing its fraternal twin, a cream colored sweater, same style. She is getting used to it. But not liking it a bit. 

Tori qualified for another scholarship. Im very proud.  Sam begins the new semester with two projects due the same day.

My appointment is tomorrow. I am glad, I feel so bad. 

I have much on my mind and heart. Please pray.

Monday, January 07, 2013

Appointment

I have an appointment Wednesday at 10:30. I'm glad. I sure feel bad.

Hurt

Do you ever just want to cry but can't when someone really hurts you?

Or wish your skin was thicker?

Sunday, January 06, 2013

For a brief moment....

Everyone was home. Ate dinner. Good ole country cooking.

I couldn't eat..but I enjoyed having everyone home at the same time.

I do love my hubby, kids and mom.

Me

Selfishly I ask for prayer.

I feel so bad. Physically.

Insight

Mom called me momma all day yesterday.... I do believe in her mind she was about 10.

I can tell by the way she acted and talked she was a "pleaser" and longed for affection and attention. I ache for the little girl who hurt so.

I felt sick....I tried to give her attention and brag on her. She tried on clothes and modeled them. I fluffed up her hair.


But.....

Later she turned into mean mom and told me this was the worst hotel she ever stayed in. Ha!

I will be....

Going to the doctor at some point this week.

Self diagnosis and the Internet may not be a good combination.

In all seriousness I do think I either have an ulcer or I am having gallbladder attacks. I'm leaning toward the latter.
My sister leans toward the former.

I've had "episodes" in the past. I've had tests, etc, and nothing showed up. But I've been having symptoms since Christmas. I was so sick and in severe pain yesterday and Friday. I haven't felt this bad physically in a long time.

I would appreciate your prayers.

Friday, January 04, 2013

Mom, spoons and socks.

Yesterday mom hid spoons and socks. What a combination.

I didn't try to stop her. She wasn't hurting anything and she was happy. I just put everything up after she went to bed.

She also is keeping a suitcase packed. It has a wide variety of items in it from undergarments, lotion, Chapstick, a roll of bath tissue and cookies. Whatever works!

Prayer needs...

First and foremost pray for the family of the mother and daughter killed in a car accident today in Brighton. I do not know names...but I do know a lot of people are hurting.

My cousin Lily has started her battle with cancer. It is going to be an uphill one.

Pray for Diane, Julie, Judy, Kathy, Debbie...all are going through trials.

Pray for me. I am so tired that I feel sick.

Continue to pray for our elected leaders. Pray specifically for our President.

Thursday, January 03, 2013

Just so you know...

Laundry does not get put up by itself. Someone has to fold, place in drawers or hang up in the closet.

I know,I know it is a foreign concept but one worth checking out.

Declutter...organizing....giving away....

I have decided to try to do small projects instead of trying to plan a day of organizing.  Last night I tackled the bookshelf that holds all the books from Tori and Sam's childhood.  I kept the favorites and gave away tons of books - well over 200.  They went to friends, schools, etc.  I am glad they are being used instead of collecting dust. 

Here is the after picture....I put my cookbooks on the bottom.  I just noticed the shelf is leaning - I will need to "fix" that  - the bookshelf is actually an antique of my Aunt Evie's.  It used to be a headboard.  It is oak and I love it.  That little blonde girl on the bottom is your's truly...mom keeps putting the picture there.  ha ha.





This next picture is my desk.  I've had this desk since I was little.  Countless hours of homework, studying have been done at this desk.  Now it holds our computer -it is in our living room.  I cleaned out the drawers and such.  I may go back and do a better job.  The books in the chair are books I am giving Melecia.  To the right you will see Pete, the repeat Parrot. 


I just want to be a tad more organized and with it.  I know I have to be flexible. But I need to be better organized in every area. 


Wednesday, January 02, 2013

SOUP




Back in the days of my extremely poor single mom days - when $15 sometimes is what I had to spend on groceries for a week.  Tori, Sam and I ate a lot of soup.  It was cheap.  (also ate a lot of Totino Pizzas, spaghetti, scrambled eggs, and mac & cheese - the powder kind)  We didn't go hungry.


But we ate so much soup - the three of us can barely eat it today. I brought it for lunch today and couldn't eat it. 

Totino pizzas are a stretch for us to eat, and don't even try to serve us the powder mac and cheese. 


That being said, if you know of single parents - and if you can help them out - do so.  Pick up some meat, fresh fruits and veggies, even a restaurant gift card.  It would be a welcome break.  Or if you know of a family in need-I'm sure they could use it and not just around the holidays. Trust me. 

My Little Corner Of The World......

We all have a "chill out" spot in the house.  Tori and Sam have their rooms - where they leave way too many drinking glasses.  Ha ha.  Steve has our bedroom - the foot of the bed where he will lay and sit to watch TV in quiet. 

Mom took over my spot - the corner of the couch.  She sits in the same corner every day.

So, I had to find my corner.  It is our recliner in our living room - to the  right is a little table that holds by Bible and any books I may be reading.  And behind me a bookcase and then a stool that holds a basket with more books and some throws. 
The "C" picture is new - Judy gave us for Christmas.  I love it. 

I do sit in the chair when mom allows and when the dogs decide I can sit in the recliner.  Ha Ha.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

$130

Today Steve and I walked around a store mainly to savor being away from every day life. I love mom, but there are days I need a break.

They had their clearance going on, not that we could spend $, but we both like to window shop.

In their floral section they had this wreath I thought was really pretty. I really did like it. Until I saw the $130 price tag. I though I read it wrong...but nope...$130. Funny how it wasn't so pretty after I saw the price. I guess they are proud of their wreaths. Hmmph!

I'll make my own.

Pushing to the side....

Seriously? I saw today Valentine and Easter displays in several stores.

One week ago today we celebrated the birth of Jesus.

Are we all in such a hurry we push aside celebrations and days, shove them into our minds and cameras as distant memories for the next occasion?

It's okay to savor. To cherish.



Blah blah blah

I'm watching our elected officials waste words instead of voting on taxes and budgets.

Good grief. Don't take a whole paragraph or page...to say Yay or Nay, just get it done.

Hmmph

PRAYER

I have some things twirling in my heart and mind. Bothering me actually.

I need God's voice.

Don't waste your time.....

Steve and I went to a movie today thanks to a gift card we received at Christmas.

We went to see Ths is 40. It was not good. Tacky and tasteless. We walked out. I am aggravated with myself because I did not read any reviews before going. We did get out and had time together.  That was nice.  We ate Wendy's.

After the success of Courageous, The Blindside, Facing the Giants and the others--Hollywood would realize that they can make money and entertain people.