Friday, August 31, 2012

Lover of quotes....

A few of my favorites.....

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. Art Buchwald

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. Paul Harvey

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. Andy Rooney

Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened. Billy Graham

The framers of our Constitution meant we were to have freedom of religion, not freedom from religion. Billy Graham

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. Erma Bombeck

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. Erma Bombeck

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass. Ann Landers

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears. Barbara Johnson

All great change in America begins at the dinner table. Ronald Reagan

You may think the president is all-powerful, but he is not. He needs a lot of guidance from the Lord. Barbara Bush

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. Barbara Bush

There is nothing wrong in America that can't be fixed with what is right in America. Bill Clinton

“This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.” Charlie Brown....yes Charlie Brown... Just picture it!

Like I said I'm a lover of quotes...snippets or glimpses into history, the minds of others. We can learn so much!



A pair of jeans, a purse, underwear and socks....

I picked mom up a few things today. She needed them.

However I'm regretting the purchase of a purse! She has zipped and unzipped a dozen times. She has emptied, filled back up, adjusted the strap, dusted it off, you name it ...if it can be done with a purse she has done it.

I'm trying to decide if she likes it or hates it. I'm afraid to ask.

Happy Birthday

To my dad. He would have been 84 today. I miss him.

He was just so funny. He loved a good joke.

He would look in the mirror and say "that's a good lookin' fellow right there."



Happy Birthday Daddy.....

WHO STEPPED IN THE POO?

Kylee our dog is in heat again - we decided to have her spayed. Vet said it was okay to do while she is in heat.

So I had to keep her separated from Barney - despite the fact that he is her son - nature seems to be a callin'.

Barney has been outside - and Kylee in the garage - well of course something happened. Ugh.

This morning I saw the signs that someone in the house stepped and tracked. Well, being the sweet mom/wife that I am. I just fussed and fussed.

I get to work - I sniff..sniff again.

It was me! ugh.

I had to wash my shoes in the sink in the bathroom.

ha ha.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Two shoes....one shoe.....two shoes

Sam found the missing shoe!

Whoo hoo!

Another Pic....

Another pic from the game. 



#60 is in the bottom left...  I think he is the cutest one there!  Other mothers may disagree!

Thanks Diane!

2:27 am

Yep! Mom and I are awake. She is fully dressed with sweater on and carrying her purse. I have the house completely dark ... So maybe she will go back to sleep.

I hope!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A Shoe!!!!!

Today Sam lost a shoe! His every day shoes. His big size 10 - had to have DC shoes. Lost it at practice. No telling where it is!

Not the pair! But a shoe!

He is thinking that someone scooped it up with their stuff. I'm hoping he can track it down tomorrow.

He has a locker..but I guess it's too much trouble to ummmm...use it!

A shoe!

I am proud of myself for not losing it...but I'm sure smoke was coming out of my ears.

Pray he finds it

A shoe!

5:30

Football practice on Wednesday should end at 5:30. Obviously that is not going to happen today. Mom and I are sitting in the car waiting.

These coaches are tough on the players...but these boys sure do work to please them. A funny Story from last night's game...

One kid ran onto the field....coach hollered at him...I think everyone heard. "dang it Chris (name changed) you are offense not defense get off the field" poor kid I bet it never happens again.

Another one messed up and he wasn't paying attention to coach. Coach is about 5'5 player 6'1.... Coach got his attention by grabbing face mask. Ha ha

Later coach gave each kid a pat.

Court

I have court soon with their dad. I dread it but know it has to be done. He will be given three options..none he will like.

Regardless of what happens to the marriage..the kids should be taken care of. One cannot be made to care but can be held responsible.

It hurts me to know that he doesn't know Tori and Sam. That he hasn't contributed to their lives in any shape or form. Not for me but for them.

For many many years I worked multiple jobs to support them. Often taking a playpen with me for then baby Sam to play in while I cleaned houses and buildings as a second/third job to just put food on the table. To cover extras like sports, field trips, camps I would pick up an odd job here or there..God provided.

I had an open door policy their dad could get them at any time..I invited him to school events, games, sent pictures...I know I did right.

Right now Sam needs dental care that will be my immediate project. (so do I!)

If you are the one that should be receiving child support ... Don't use kids as leverage...allow them to see the other. It is not their fault. If you are the one that should be paying child support..do what is right, but spend time with them. Call, encourage, invest in their lives through time.

Please pray that we see quick resolution. That relationships between kids and their dad are healed.

#60

Cardinals played in Charger country last night.

They won 34-14. Sam was awesome- he had a couple of great tackles.

Whoo hoo!




Thanks to a friend - here is a pic of the game last night -  Sam just came off the field - you can see him in the middle.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Thoughts.....

I cannot sleep. I feel terrible. Nervous and panicky. My whole body hurts. I am cold too!

Sam was wore smack dab out from football..he couldn't even eat his nutritious supper of corn dogs. So sue me, I felt yuck!

Both chicks are in the nest. Whoo hoo!

I so enjoy Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Gotta love Guy!

I just don't enjoy office politics and gossip. "Lord allow me to be a light and an encourager, that I use my words wisely. Seal my lips when the words don't honor you.". I have a feeling busy phones protect me! I just miss doing what I used to do. But I am thankful for my job.

I miss church. It is next to impossible to get mom to cooperate. And I have to be honest, I'm so tired here lately, that it's hard to get moving especially if she is napping. Kind of like a baby.. Rest when they rest!

Our prodigal will have resolution this week. Our decision was tough but in the long run right. I pray he sees it that way. I am trying to think of ways I can be a better influence in the lives of three young men. I pray for them daily, they live in Memphis scattered..They have a mom... What is my role? Especially when Steve and I have different ideas on things. It's a fine line. But this was a wake up call for me.

Mom just got up.,.hopefully just a restroom trip.

Thanks for allowing me to vent and share.

Something to think about..,

Hebrews 13:5-6
5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
6 So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”

Monday, August 27, 2012

I know..,,

I know my posts and writing are all over the place lately. And i apologize for it....but I just try to write things as I think of them, experience them, read it or learn from something.

Years from now I want to look back and see how far I've come and have a history for the kids. I need to get better about posting pictures.

Melecia

Melecia is back.

Mom was so excited to see her!

We all missed her. She is a true blessing.

What is the purpose?

Of hairnets?

Mom wants a hairnet....what do they do?

Knowing me if I wore one it would come off somehow and I'd choke on it or suffocate on it.

Ha ha!

Letting go of OCD

I used to be bad! Everything had a place! Stuff had to be done at a certain time no matter what!

Since mom has been sick I've had to relax. I cannot worry about the small stuff. As long as my house is relatively clean, along with it's occupants, if laundry is waiting to be folded and dishes are in dishwasher clean...I'll survive! I haven't had time to do photo album projects in like forever...never attempted scrapbooking.

Sometimes the OCD creeps back in and I'll try to take care of what is bothering me.

Trust me it can be done!

HMMMPPPPHHHHH

We have moved Tori back home. 

I am so glad to have her back. She is glad to be back.  We managed to do all in one trip - I can imagine how it looked with our cars stacked with shoes, stuffed animals, yearbooks and old Disney movies.
Steve had her bed, dresser and chest.  Thankfully he and Sam did all the heavy lifting.

I washed everything I could, wiped down everything I could - trying to get our "scent" back.  Ha Ha!
She said their hotwater didn't work that great over there - after she got everything all organized - she took a long hot shower. 

But here is my hmmmpphhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When we arrived at the house where she was living - we saw a bunch of trucks - I thought great - we have help!  Well no!  There were three young men sitting in couches and chairs - not one of them moved.  Not one.  Mom was with me - they didn't even offer her a seat!  One got up for a second and I seated her real fast.

They watched as we carried boxes and furniture out and never lifted a finger.


Hmmmmppphhhhhhh!  Where are their manners? Were they taught?



Sunday, August 26, 2012

It's the little things....

I have been without a vacuum for a few weeks. I was about to go insane.

Well I finally was able to invest in a small Dirt Devil yesterday. Smaller than others...but it works! I won't embarrass myself by showing you what I picked up,....,but ugh!!!!!

I'm proud of it though.

It's the small things... Some girls want diamonds..others want vacuums.

Now for the weed eater.

Musical rooms...musical furniture

Well here we go again! Moving stuff!

Switching rooms, adjusting furniture, etc.

The good thing about this round of moving..,there's not a whole lot of dust. Ha ha!

Mom, food, baths, and dirty laundry....

Mom had a hard time adjusting to Mae and Rhonda (she came a couple of days) while Melecia has been out.

She refused to eat anything they prepared. Wouldn't take a bath for them...we just decided not to push the issue. She did take a bath a couple of times for Mae and I think she ate once when Rhonda fixed lunch.

Well, it hit me that I had not seen any dirty laundry from mom during this past week. She didnt want anyone touching it.

I started a search yesterday while she was napping. I found dirty clothes between mattress and box springs. I found them in purses. Whew!

I managed to get them washed and put up without her seeing me.

She did take a bath yesterday....with a lot of fussing...but we got it done. I'm wore out after we finish!

Prayer....

Just need prayer.

I'm so tired.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

A quote I so relate to!

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”
-- Mother Teresa

What we shouldn't be......

We shouldn't be desensitized.

At work yesterday after word came through about the shooting in New York someone made the comment..."oh another shooting..." Lives were forever changed yesterday,

We should be shocked each time it happens. We should pray immediately. I know nothing happens until it filters through God's fingers....

We are a nation, a state, a city community, a church, a home in desperate need of God. I often wonder what is it going to take for us to wake up?! I had a manager once say "America is closer to God when we go to war".... We are at war....but part of it is we've rolled out the welcome mat to Satan and his army. We are giving up! And we cannot allow it to happen!

Let's wake up!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

"We'll fix it."

There are moments in mom's life where she has perfect clarity.  Or maybe in this case it was mother's instinct.

Allow me to give just a brief history. 

We are still dealing with one of our kids who is in a bit of trouble.  Disagreeing on how to handle, when to handle it, etc.  It is heartbreaking.

On Monday we received a THICK letter from the IRS saying we owe them $4,000!  What the heck? 
At this time I haven't really had time...and okay money to grocery shop.  I was robbing Peter to pay Paul. We are dealing with the kids dad and lack of child support - we have a court date coming.  So much is happening.   Steve and I were disagreeing on everything STRONGLY.

Monday night I was a basket case.  I just sat down in a chair-had my Bible right there - I was crying and praying - I thought mom was settled.

My little 82 year old Alzheimer' mother came up to me - put my face between her hands and said "Don't cry Becky, dont' cry. You do so much for others, you work so hard, you help us all out and we are all mean to you.  We will fix it.  Okay?  We will fix it."  She kissed my forehead and hugged me.

Well I just cried harder.  But good tears.  So thankful for that one moment of clarity.  I needed it.

2:14 am

Yep I'm awake.

Two weeks

Tori moved out two weeks ago. I was heartsick, not terribly happy with the home or roommate choices.

Last night she called me crying and upset. Those she lived with have not been making the best choices and others have been hanging out there who didn't belong there. Hmmph!

She wants to come back home. Of course she can.

I'm so thankful God protected her. Thankful that we did not make a major issue of her moving....thankful she knows she can come to me.

Will she move one day? Yes she will? When will that be? I have no idea.

I'm proud of her for trying. Proud of her discernment...Proud she doesn't get discouraged.

But oh boy we get to move furniture again!

Mae

Mae has been filling in while Melecia has been out. Friday is her last day with us.

So if you need someone to sit with your loved one...comment or shoot me an email.

She is calm, wise and sweet spirited. I recommend her!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I just want to know.....

I just want to know why my family insists on eating the groceries I buy the night I buy them? Can't we enjoy having food in the cabinets and fridge?

Hmmph

Stress

Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand. It can be caused by both good and bad experiences. When people feel stressed by something going on around them, their bodies react by releasing chemicals into the blood. These chemicals give people more energy and strength, which can be a good thing if their stress is caused by physical danger. But this can also be a bad thing, if their stress is in response to something emotional and there is no outlet for this extra energy and strength.


-------------------------

Now with it being defined so wonderfully on a web-site. How in the heck am I supposed to handle it without going bald, nuts or both?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Good Day

Good day for mom!

She ate a good dinner and is now fussing over dishes in kitchen.

Melecia should be back this coming Monday. Whoo hoo!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Prayer

I don't know how many people will read this.

But we need prayer. We received another snippet of bad news today.

My heart is hurting. I'm stressed. I'm tired.

I cling to God and His promises.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The rolling cart and the flying flip flop at Dollar General

My second adventure this week at Dollar General!

This afternoon I was able to slip away and go to Dollar General..,we needed coffee, milk and paper products. So I get my shopping done, I'm at my car...I put my purse in the car first, and as I was doing so the cart starts rolling toward the road into traffic. I run after it....one flip flop flies off my foot in the opposite direction. I barely and I mean barely catch the rolling cart.

I limp toward my flip flop then my car with the open door and look up to see two laughing men! I'm sure I was a sight!

Explain to me.....

Explain to me how my mom cannot remember names, faces, or how to open a closet door....but knows exactly the number of pills she takes and notices when there is a change?

A pill changed - generic now. Color changed from peach to yellow. She spotted it right off! I had to show her the bottle with her name on it.

Explain it to me?????

Exhaustion

I was up from 2:10-5:30. Mom was up and down.

Now mom dozes on couch.

I'm so tired my eyelids hurt.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Double roll......

My little mother is a major paper products user!

She goes through as much Kleenex, paper towels and bathroom tissue as a family of four does! And trust me I can compare!

I learned this week not to keep the extra roll of bath tissue in sight. Because if she sees it....she will use one roll in less than a day. However if not in sight it lasts longer.

Go figure!

Saturday musings.....

I want to be lazy. But I have things to do. But for right now I will be lazy. I've made breakfast and cleaned that up, gave mom medicine and she is settled, washed some laundry. So I feel somewhat productive.

It has just been a hard week. Work has been tough. I understand the frustration customers are feeling, everything we make is made to order. No stock. We have a few import items that have sold out in a matter of weeks... So they are on backorder. Two customers really got to me..... I am going back over my reaction and response trying to learn from them. In one case I offered a full credit and a 2nd free cabinet. That wasn't good enough. She chewed me out for over 45 minutes... Hmmph! I so miss doing what I used to do. But I know right now I am where God wants me to be....

Melecia is doing better. I think she will be out another week. Right now we have Mae. And she has a good sweet spirit and goes with the flow. If you live in the area I do (Memphis, Tipton, Millington, Dyer).... Wesley home services is an awesome company to deal with. They care! They also have assisted living facilities. And other services. Im sure they are in other areas. To think I found out about them by reading an online bulletin from a local church. God is so good,

I did get my haircut. (And my roots are covered up.) Steve and I ate BBQ out after I finished up. We are still dealing with our bad news.,. Trying to think of a solution and crying at the same time. After we ate he came home relieved the kids of Mema sitting duty and I went to buy Sam a pair of shoes. He was excited and appreciative. I had about four hours of "down" time just doing the regular things of life. I like regular. :)

Sam is settling into school routine. And football. He is discouraged about not playing yet. But he cheers his team on. I don't think he'll play after this year. I'm proud of his attitude though!

Tori is bust being 19. She seems to be adjusting to living on her own. She starts school next week.

Now I plan to be lazy. Nap time!





Friends

Carla and Diane.....

More than friends....sisters to me.

Plus they totally understand hmmph!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Therapy Needed

I've had the roughest day! Customers so rude on phone! Chewing me over things so far out of my control! One brought me to tears but I reigned it in.

I'm getting a slight break. I'm waiting to get my haircut and sorry Tori but I'm taking my sweet time getting home.

I really am tired. Steve and I were hit with more bad news. I think we have a prodigal in one of our five kids. (not Tori or Sam-but I know they are not immune to the world. I pray raising sticks with them plus seeds of scripture they have heard!) We are sad and worried and are lost as to what to do. Surely God heard our prayers and cries.

My friends Julie and Penni at work treated me to lunch at our desks! And gave me a gift certificate for manicure and pedicure. This was my birthday gift! How cool!



Thursday, August 16, 2012

Not that I am some raving Beauty

But I recommend this product...









It really does a good job!  And it about $3.50 at Walmart.  I switched mom to it and then I tried it.

Rough Night...Rough Morning

Mom was pretty hard to handle last night. And this morning she woke up just plain mean.  There is no other word for it.

There could be a multitude of things causing it - will have to figure it out.  My response is key.  My patience is important. 

Alzheimer's Disease - I wish I could adequately explain how the "patient's" mood can turn on a dime.  It would blow you away to watch it.  I have learned to recognize cues as to when it may come - but sometimes it still catches me by surprise. 

TIME? WHAT IS TIME?

We have 24 hours in every day.

But somehow in those 24 hours I haven't had a chance to get my hair cut or hide my roots and gray hair!  What is up with that?

But thinking about time....do I spend my time wisely?  There are times I resent the time I am doing laundry instead of spending that time to appreciate my washing machine and the fact that we have clothes. 

I resent the time it takes to cook dinner and clean up instead of spending time to Thank God we have food on the table.

Time.  We need to appreciate time and things we have to fill in between the ticks on a clock.  May we honor God in all we do.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Mad at Alzheimer Disease and myself..

I'm mad at the disease right now. It must be sheer hell to be trapped in your mind.

Mom is just wandering. Simple tasks right now are impossible. Nothing is clicking.

I haven't been so patient tonight. I don't feel good. No excuse.

Mom and Dollar General Cashier

I attempted to go to Dollar General tonight with mom.

Ummmm not successful

She told the cashier that I stole all her money and wallet. Poor girl looked floored. Thankfully manager on duty knows us.

We just left. I'll go back later. Ha ha.

Mom and the mop....

Mom fell asleep today holding a mop and a feather duster . Ha ha

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Real Folk

I love regular folk. No airs. What you see is what you get. I hope people see that with me. I'm pretty real.

Think about it....

God used regular folk. Think of the disciples. He used David. Abraham. Moses. Noah. Real!

His Son was born in a stable...No doors..open to all.,the shepherds were the first to hear the news..the ones on the bottom of the social chain... Real!

He could have been born in a palace with gold and guards. Making it impossible for visitors. But nope he came where it was easy for anyone to approach. Real!

Paul a man by his own admission had flaws. Peter who denied. Jonah who ran. Real people!

I say all this because we all should step up. Especially me! We don't need to be eloquent speakers, a clear soprano, a crafty sort who can draw or glue anything. All of us have a testimony. We can visit. Send a card. Help a neighbor, empty trashcans in church, encourage, the list is endless. But we should do it for God's glory. We should reflect Jesus and share His love. Share what God has done! Be real!

I know I'm not saying all this in the best way...but I'm thinking about The Cross and what it means to me. The Cross is real!

When you can't win...

Poor Sam!

Sometimes he just can't win!

Yesterday Tori picked Sam up from football--we had a rare rain shower. He was not under the porch at school when it started because he saw a adult needing help carrying stuff to the car...so he left his stuff on the ground....and helped out. While helping the rain came...he asked some fellow players to take his stuff up to the porch but they laughed and just left it there. Awww.

His bag, jersey and books were wet.

He was so mad!

I told him he still did right. He is not so sure!

Beetlemania

My friend Diane is not a big fan!

Oh, not those Beetles, but the kind that crawls!

She had a sweater hanging up at work..office was chilly I suppose. She put it on and then sat down at her desk and decided to listen to music... She had to adjust the right ear piece a couple of times ....the second time the ear piece wrapped itself around her finger!

It was a beetle! Uggghhh! The bright colorful kind.

She screamed...gave her coworker a heart attack... I'm sure both need extensive therapy. She's not a 100% sure where the beetle came from. She's thinking the sweater that had been hanging up.

My poor friend could not even relax last night with a glass of tea...she looked down and there was gnat doing the backstroke.







Monday, August 13, 2012

Birthday wrap up....

Tori treated me to lunch at McAllisters. That was sweet.

My sister Judy gave me a purse with a sweet funny card. Steve brought home some roses. And Sam gave me a camera case with a card. I received several nice calls. Need to return a few.

We had a nice dinner with leftovers gong home with Tori. Ha ha!

God is so good.

I know what it is.....and birthday

I know what it is.  This whole Tori moving thing. Or part of it anyway.  I understand it is hard anyway you look at it.

For years it was just Me, Tori and Sam. We were in one room.  Where I went, they went.  If I worked Saturdays - they went with me.  If I cleaned houses they went with me.  I was a single mom for a long time. 


______________________________________

Today is my birthday. And I am so depressed.  My mother doesn't know it is my birthday. The one person who really should - can't help it that she doesn't.  I could just cry. 

I told my friend Carla in a text I am having too may life changes at one time.  Geesh.

I will leave this pity party shortly. 

Just pray...I have these things on my mind plus other things and worries.

I thought I was prepared.....

I thought I was prepared.  I thought I was ready.  Afterall, Tori is never home.  Saturday we moved her furniture.  It had to be the hardest thing I have ever done.

There are some things I don't like.  But she is doing this on her own.  I wish I could help her more.  I guess this will be a good life lesson for her.

I cried so hard when I pulled out of that driveway.  I was just sick.  I couldn't think. I guess I am being silly and dramatic.  I wish I could describe how I felt.

I heard it would be hard.  I also have heard it gets easier.  

She called me and is coming today to see me for my birthday. I have some towels for her.

Regardless I am proud of her. 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Rearranging again!!!

Well I rearranged furniture and stuff again. This is like the 3rd month in a row we have moved furniture and such.

I turned the dining room into a bedroom when we moved mom in. Sold our little table. Tori decides to move out. We have an empty room. I had been picking my brain on what to put in there. No money to buy anything so I was really thinking!

It is like a reading room. We put a chair and small table (chair came from moms) A bookcase with all my favorite books (this was in the living room) the curio/china cabinet that was in there originally. I like it. It has "me" on it - quirky-mix-matched..a hodge podge!

Now with all this moving stuff--mom started clucking her tongue with the sight of dust behind stuff that hadn't been moved in awhile! She got the broom, the mop, and dust rag and she went to work. (by the way she is okay from her fall on Friday) She truly was in her element!

But in the midst of this cleaning and rearranging my vacuum cleaner messed up! I tried fixing it..but it had been acting up for a long time now. I hope to get one soon.

All this cleaning led me to clean the oven and wash all silverware.

I have to be honest I don't feel good. I was up all night. But I need to stay busy. I need my mind occupied. I need to feel like I have accomplished something.




(the good thing about rearranging---I have a place for something should we need to use that room again for someone!)

Wisdom of Sam

Sam knew I was sad after leaving Tori. He patted my shoulder while driving and was holding my hand and said "look at it this way mom you still have Mema and I'll be driving in two years you have new worries."

Ha ha!

He will miss his sister. He hugged her twice. And he put her bed together and put the mirror on her dresser. He is becoming quite handy!

Mom with Tori moving...

Mom went with us when we moved Tori. She sat so quietly the whole time. Afterwards we went to Walmart. In the middle of the canned goods she said "we need to bring Tori home. She won't like having to clean her own house! Good Lord she's messy in one room!"

Ha ha

Mothers and sleep

Mothers I've decided are not meant to sleep. I can't even say they sleep when older...because mom really doesn't. She woke up and was worried about the baby being warm enough.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I need.....

Tonight I need prayer. I have much on my mind.

Plus I am hurting terribly in my hips and back.

Hearer or Doer?

Ok! I am so telling on myself.

I was feeling so spiritual. I was mowing the yard and listening to Focus on the Family.

Quite proud of myself! After all I was being productive and learning about Jesus. I was learning how to be forgiving and kind.

Mom was at the locked glass door. Waving me in...I didn't want to stop. I knew she was ok. Sam was inside. But she kept on.

So I park the mower come in and bark out "WHAT?"

She looked sad and said "I just wanted to give you water."

Oh man! Shame on me.

Forgive me Lord for not being a doer.

You'll eat anything....

I made pancakes and scrambled eggs this morning.

I asked mom did she want anything else... And if it was good. She said "you'll eat anything if you are hungry."

Ha ha

She is sill sore from her fall...still watching..

Work Attitude

I've not had the best attitude this week. We have been swamped, phones, emails and live chats. It is a lot to handle. People can be rude over the phone...., and I normally can soothe them rather quickly (one of my few strengths) but there are always a few that will make you tense up and somehow that one bad call eclipses the 100's (yes 100's) I receive.

That being said I need and should go into work as if I am going in to work for Jesus. And really that is what I am supposed to be doing.

I'm better with time management. I am not making excuses for screw ups mine or anyone else's. I just take care of it. I am trying to ignore office politics.

I need to be positive.

I need to reflect Jesus even when copying a letter.

Jesus thank you for my job. Thank you for your daily provision. Thank you for The Cross. Please forgive me when I haven't glorified You at work. I love you and thank you for loving me.


A fall....

Mom fell from a stool....she was being silly and before I could reach her she fell inches on her bottom. Now she has a lump on her bottom. She can walk but it bothers her. I'm watching it


Please pray!

Praise The Lord!

Melecia had surgery today to remove a mass in her stomach...she was in pain and sick.

You can imagine the fear and worry. I prayed all day. So did many others.

Well the mass was dead fatty tissue. She has a lengthy recovery time so please continue to pray.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Where is the enthusiasm?

Wednesday was the first day of school. Sam got up ---- hopped into the shower and was ready 30 min before time to leave. Saying "I'm going to get up everyday early!"

Two days later.... I had to "prompt" ok speak loudly to get up about 4 times. He barely finished eating and getting ready before bus arrived and he was tucking shirt in as he walked out.

Where's the enthusiasm?

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Quiet....

I truly enjoyed quiet time tonight. I so needed it. I had well over an hour!

Melecia......

Please pray for Melecia. She is having major surgery tomorrow. And expected to be in hospital ten days.

We just love her...she is family!

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Melecia update....

Continue to pray for Melecia. She is in hospital...I won't give details without her permission.

Mom asked about her. I told her we would try to go see her this weekend. We just love her!

Pray pray! God is our Great Physician!

We have a temp starting this week. I'm sure she will be good. Pray for her and mom to adjust to each other.

This Saturday....,

This Saturday Steve and I will move Tori.

We met roommates tonight talked to them and they seem like good kids.

I felt the need to give them Hamburger Helper and frozen dinner.

Steve told them "don't go hungry call us-we'll get you groceries."

Awwww

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

1st Day of Last Year in Middle School

Wow Sam you are in 8th grade! I'm so proud of you. Especially proud how you grew closer to God this summer.

You are taller than me. Your hand is bigger than mine. You can pick me up! You have a sharp tongue and a wicked sense of humor. Sometimes not a good combo! (a trait you have inherited from me)

You are not selfish. You are protective of your mom! I love your hugs.

I know God has great things planned for you. I'm always here cheering you on. Love you

To Johnna..

I prayed for you! Your first day of high school. I am blessed to know you. You are an awesome young woman of God with a bright future.

Cling to all you've been taught. Stay in His word. Next to Jesus your mom is your best friend and cheerleader! Always know that. I am here for you!

I am proud of you.

"Let me be a mom...."

Today Tori took some "stuff" to her soon to be home.

She took movies, books, etc. You know the important stuff. Ha ha.

I had saved dishes, a toaster, and other household stuff for her..

She said "mom I can get these later." I said "Tori let me be a mom."

She relented ... I'm glad because I had blankets and pillows for her too. All too soon we will be moving a dresser and bed. When did she grow up?

Her soon to be new roommate said Tori is a good housekeeper! That I have to see to believe!

Pray for Melecia

Melecia is sick. She was hurting terribly in her stomach. As I write this she's in the emergency room.

Stewardship

I am going to admit right now I am horrible at money management. I need to do better shopping for groceries and keep tabs on what I spend. You would think that since I really don't make that much it wouldn't be so hard...but I honestly just forget and I mix things up all the time.

I am challenging myself to get better. I feel like a failure and wonder how God can love me. I do need a financial miracle I seem to be running in the hole.... Have been for some time now.

I know this is personal..but I need you to pray for me in regard to this area. I need help!

I am thankful God forgives and that He loves me.

Caregiving Is Not A Burden.......

I have been thinking about this off and on through the night and morning.

Caregiving is not a burden. Is it exhausting? Is it frustrating? Is it emotionally depleting? Yes!!!!!! Am I perfect at it? No!!!! Do I make mistakes and lose my patience at times! Yes I do! I have much to learn and much to improve on. I've been told I don't have to be a martyr and that I don't a life.

What is caregiving? It is a ministry. A service. I read (a may have posted this already...I can't remember) in a book on caregiving that when you care for someone you should care for that person as if he or she are Jesus. We are made in His image.

Again, I do get tired and discouraged. I do make mistakes. But I know I am doing right...there may be a time in the future that I will need to make changes..and I will know God will let me know at the right time.

My very own I Love Lucy episode....

Sunday was a roller coaster ride....

We didn't go to church. It was not good to push.

I decided to do some projects here at home. On the list give mom a perm, trim and bathe the dogs and rearrange some pictures - I was feeling cramped by clutter.

Mom started getting antsy during perm. After we finished - her hair looked nice. But she wasn't so nice. I started taking care of dogs..trimming them up on a large sheet....too hot to do it outside. Well while I was distracted mom tried getting outside...I thought I had locked the door...well I didn't! She gets out I run after her leaving the dog clippers on they were vibrating on the floor Barney the puppy was barking and chasing the clippers getting dog hair everywhere. Kylee chased after mom, I am too, I step in the dog water on the patio. Whew! Steve was able to get her in with a firm voice.

I was able to finish dogs, get everything cleaned up. Mom took a nap, ate soup and felt better. Then we went to store where she only added two unnecessary items to cart.

I'm telling you my own reality tv show!

2:05 am

I have raided the kitchen for some milk and cookies. My dad used to do the same thing. It was good.

I have so much on my mind. I am very stressed at work, I haven't even begun back to school shopping. Or put it this way made a dent in it. Praying for a miracle.

I am being pressured to check into nursing homes...I do not want that. There may be a time but this is not it. I wish folks understood.

Steve and I had a very bumpy night.. Of course over finances. Both went to bed mad and hurt. Boy I feel like a failure.

I have begun my letter writing campaign on child support the laws and level of accountability have to change. I mailed out four letters yesterday. I intend to mail more. From my vantage point the laws in place aren't there to help children they are there to help the other parent. If only that other parent knew.....or cared.

You remember in the movie Rocky...when he first does all his running? He stays focused and somewhere along the way people see it and they run beside him or even after him? But he kept on track. Right now I feel as if I'm running alone and waiting for that crowd to join me. I don't know if I would look as good in gray sweats as he did. Ha ha.

Mom just got up. Looking for my dad. She is settled .... I hope. I am challenging myself to be more patient.

I read a blog by a local writer the other day where she decided a long time ago to cleanse negativity out of her life. I think I am going to write her and ask what she meant and how she did it. She seems to be one if the smartest people out there with a zest for life but with a servants heart.

Sam had a good practice looks like he is to be Center this year.

Tori continues to plan to move out. She surprised me yesterday with lunch. Aww!

Well hopefully I can sleep now.


Sunday, August 05, 2012

All to save $

In an attempt to save $, I am giving mom a home perm today.

I now know and understand why they charge so much in beauty shops.

I have also trimmed up the necklines and side burns of Steve and Sam.

And the dogs are next

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Never again

Write it down! Never ever again will I shop on tax free weekend!

It was an unfruitful trip. No good sales. Very discouraging. I'm so depressed about it...I know it sounds petty...but I just wanted to do better by Sam on this trip. He is so good and patient about it.

He said "mom it's just shoes and clothes...I'm fine with what I got."

Another sleepless night

I am so tired--so much so that I am sick. I have not slept. Mom got up once...but I got her back in bed.

I just checked on her. She is drinking coffee and eating Rice Krispies. So I hope to nap for a bit.

These sleepless nights are getting to me.

No matter where you stand....

Regardless of what day you visited Chik-fil-a, I do hope and pray you vote in November.

Friday, August 03, 2012

Help help help mom mom mom

Those words woke me up at midnight last night. Steve too.

We literally bolted out of bed. (always wanted to say I did that...bolted- I'm not a bolter---and yes I made that word up)

We open our door and see wrestling in the hallway. (Though we have told Sam countless times to lock his door at night...he doesn't-he's like me doesn't like locked doors. But maybe he will now!) back to my story....

Steve and I see mom and Sam wrestling...sorta. Mom got up last night got fully dressed, shoes, sweater, purse, and even make-up and glasses. She went into Sam's room..and literally started hitting him with her purse. He was sound asleep. He did right... Just took her by the hand and led her out. But she started in again...and so Sam was yelling mom mom mom....she was yelling help help help

I felt so sorry for Sam. He did right. Im proud. He was gentle but firm. Mom went right back to sleep. She thought she was in a hospital.

I probably should cry... But I choose to laugh. Little mom and my half grown man-child wrestling in the hallway.

What an image!

Remembering "Lisha"

Mom is remembering Melecia as "Lisha."

I think this so sweet. Melecia has become such an important part of our lives. Mom loves her. So do I.

I am blessed to know her.

Underwear at the doctor's office....how fast do you get dressed?!

I think the title is catchy....and I have my friend Carla to thank for it. Carla I dedicate this post to you.

Okay ladies I've written about it before. It is part of being a woman. The yearly check up and mammogram! There is no dignity in it at all.

Observations----
The sample....we have to pee in a cup. Soooo you go into the little bathroom that is probably painted with what is supposed to be warm colors with a "How to" poster on examining your boobies. Usually there are cups stacked on the counter with a little sign that says "please write your name on the cup with the pen." Now germaphobic me will not normally use their pen because how do you know who has washed their hands? Normally you do it before..,but there is always someone who may not. I take my own sharpie. Now, normally there is a basket of those wipe things you are supposed to use. I use about five I wipe the whole bathroom down then use them as I am supposed to. But what if there are no wipes? I would so obsess! What if this affects the results of the pap smear? Then you have to put your sample in the silver door that you have to touch....another wipe please! You put your sample in there and someone else's sample is in there! What the heck? I kid you not! I do not want contamination of the samples.... So, I make a divider with a paper towel so the cups do not touch. And cover mine up. Surely the lab appreciates my efforts.

Now you go for blood work and blood pressure check plus the dreaded scale. If you weighed before the sample it's not right! That's fluid that may add ounces! Then your blood pressure is high because you are upset about weight and stressing about the rest of the visit!

All that's done. You go into the room. The nurse - and she is one of two ages either old enough to be your mother or young enough you could have given birth too her. Really where are the ones in between?

You are told to undress and put on the attractive - leave it open in the front please gown. Now many offices are using cloth gowns-ugh! I rather have the pink paper gowns that rip. Ha ha. Now this is crucial - it is important that there is a curtain to dress behind. But that seems to be going away-you have to undress real fast then you have to decide how you are going to stack your clothes. But for some reason we cannot let the doctor see our underwear! So you fold your clothes in a way that is neat but underwear hidden. By golly I may be standing there in a gown with no clothes about to endure a personal exam but the doctor cannot see my underwear!

You get on the table and wait. Then the doctor comes in. He/she goes over stuff with you and you are trying to focus on questions and answers while holding your stomach in, boobs up and out and the gown closed. Talk about multi-tasking.

The exam starts you are told just to relax....what the heck ever! You just want to kick him..,but not while he is using what I call the hotdog tongs.

He finishes and steps out. Leaving you to get dressed.... Hence the title. How fast does it take for you to get dressed? I've decided it is the fastest I do all year!


70 Emails

When I arrived at work this morning I had 70 brand spanking new-unread-everybody wanting something emails. Only five were from the same person!

This does not count the 33 emails I had from our voicemail system to let me know I had voicemails. Yep you do the math that is 103 emails.

So I had 70 emails and 33 voicemails. I did not even check my spam!

So when you think a customer service rep is not responding or answering fast enough - I want you to stop- take a breath-and realize he or she is probably the lowest paid person there. And is doing multiple tasks all while trying to take care of you. Nothing is intentional. But please be patient!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Cajun Justice

A&E show. They deal with drug dealers, ghosts and alligators. Gotta love it!

A true guilty pleasure!

Insomnia Tv

Okay I am wide awake! There are so many shopping channels on right now! Who needs luggage or knives at this time? Who makes such a decision to purchase a blouse that can be worn three different ways?! I would only be able to do one I guarantee it!

Now I'm watching animal planet....hippos. I don't feel so chunky after all.

Crime Tv is next-trust me you watch that you'll think your family is a Norman Rockwell print come to life.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

8th Grade

Tomorrow I will be the mom of an official 8th grade boy!

Wow!

HOT!!!

It is hot-hot-hot.

I know you know it. But just had to share! And yep mom still wearing her wool sweater.