Tuesday, January 24, 2012


The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

How awesome is this verse. Imagine God rejoicing over you...over me with singing! Wow!

This past Sunday - after morning church services - I went to the grocery store for mom. How one little lady goes through the groceries is beyond me! She was going home with me because we had some bad storms coming through and we were planning on going to PM Services (did not because she was not in good shape!)

She was in the back of the house - I knocked - yelled out yooooo hoooooo.....I saw her getting ready - taking rollers out of her hair. Thought she knew I was there. I brought in the groceries, was putting them away - she came in the kitchen -saw me from the back - thought I was someone else -stealing her groceries - and whacked me on the head with her hairbrush!

Too funny!

Monday, January 23, 2012


Tori's car is completely gone. She is working on getting another one. I wish I could help her more.

Say a prayer for her. I am so thankful she was safe when the engine finally blew - and we were able to get home before it was too late and too dark.

I must admit I was very distracted in November and December - more so than usual. We were getting hit from every angle - mom was pretty bad.

I did not stay on top of school grades - we have faltered - it is recoverable. But I have failed Sam and his teachers.

We just move on from here.....

Sam you are smart! Let's get moving in the right direction.

Friday, January 20, 2012


I must admit 2011 was just a rough year all the way around. But mid - December I decided I needed to clean out the junk. Literally.

I have cleaned out closets, drawers, the garage, the attic, you name it - it has been cleaned - well, not Sam's room...his is a hard hat area - and I will be tackling that one soon... ha ha.

A strong Christian man here at work said this to me and it stuck...he speaks plain - with no fancy words - just tells you like it is. He said "I have learned that if you have a freight train running through your mind - it is hard to pray and give God everything."

How true. I have started cleaning out my mind and heart. How? I have changed what I watch on TV, what I listen to on the radio, even what I read - even if it is the magazines at the check out counter, filter emails and what I read online. And oh what a difference it has made. I was numb to the world around me for so long - insensitive to things that used to offend - like the world - I was glossing over things. And I felt so far away from God. Further than I ever had been. My worship and spiritual growth was hindered.

Now is my life all peaches and cream? No, we are still struggling in so many areas, but I have a sense of freedom and peace that I havent' had a in a long time. I am God's child - He loves me - He know my needs - and my pain. I am closer to Him. I read His word and learn something every day.

Lord, please forgive me when I glossed over things, avoided your truth. Lord, fill me with You, I want to see your face and your eyes.
A memory from mom.

"Becky, I remember when you were little and you loved your Mrs. Beasley doll."

Dear Tori and Sam,

A note from your mom.

I am so proud of you both. As I was driving in today I realized you both made me laugh so hard last night.

I am blessed to call you daughter and son.

Love always,


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Sam on his first semi-formal dance...with sister Tori giving him the ride....

Christmas Message that was and is still on a recipe on my fridge.

Warning Beep, warning bell.....

My mind is so wandering at work today - tons of things twirling around....I guess I am not being a good employee.

I hear the forklift driver in our warehouse beeping the horn to let others know he is coming...or it beeps with a ding when backing up....

Wouldn't it be nice if we had the sounds of beeps and dings to warn us with just some of what hits us? Would we turn to God if we knew?

Probably not - we would try to fix it ourselves -

Now I know why we don't receive beeps and dings.....
Don't forget about me.....

Mom just called me.

She said...."Becky, I remember you today. Now don't forget about me when I can't remember later."

My heart just broke.
Is it Day or is it Night?

Mom has her Days and Nights totally mixed up. I am so tired. She will sleep from 9-12 at night and then is up all night. It is virtually impossible to keep her in bed and keep her awake during the day - especially when I am not there. But I guess if she is sleeping during the day I know she is safe and not getting into trouble. Ha ha. I have called her doctor to see if there is something...I don't want her a zombie - but if we both don't get some sleep soon - we are both going to be sick.

Alzheimer's - I have said it before - I hate this disease. Ronald Regans daughter called it The Long Goodbye....trust me - it is. Dad died 10 years ago this year from complications of the same disease. I have lost three aunts to the same disease - I don't see the purpose of it - I really don't.

Mom knows my face -but doesn't know me. I don't know what year she is in right now - but it is certainly not 2012. She talks of her parents and sisters.

Her purse...she loves her purse - I hate it at time- she misplaces it all the time. Empties it out every time it is in her hands - then we spend a lot of time looking for something she thought was in there.

Her Sweater - she loves loves loves her wool sweater -she sleeps in it.

She is eating better -I have to sit right beside her so she will eat. I have found she eats better in front of the TV. Go figure. I grew up with the TV off at meal time. Right now her favorite foods are home made Chili, BBQ (Always BBQ - she used to hate BBQ), regular Chips A Hoy and Wavy Lays. I should write the companies above and tell her story - maybe we could get samples. She also likes Pillsbury Grands biscuits and crescent rolls.

Patience - I need to be more patient - Lord please forgive me when I am not.

Church - we took her to church Sunday night - she loved it - going to try to get her in the routine of it. Nothing more powerful than God's word.

Other happenings.......

We have taken hit after hit. Please pray for our family. I realized today this is the first time I am not actually working multiple jobs in I can't tell you when. Steve is looking for part time-weekend or after hours work - pray that door opens. However I am willing to clean houses, etc if needed for the extra income - I know God will provide in His Time - may I remember that at all times! Compared to what so many other families are going through - we are blessed. But my friend DC - put it best - but many of us are just a paycheck or two from losing everything. And she is right - there really is no Middle Class anymore. Sorry to sound so whiny!

Tori qualified for another semester of scholarships. I am so proud of her. She works hard all the way around. Now Tori - not to embarrass you -but you don't need a boyfriend! Just focus on yourself and education! (help me out here fellow moms!)

Sam is doing well in school and continues to grow. Boy can he eat. He is going to be a big guy. I am so proud of him too. He enjoyed football and loves his coach.

Church Limbo - I am pretty sure we will be going back home. We have been absent for two long. Not good! I so love attending church and enjoying the fellowship of everyone. They are like family to me.

Well...enough for now...I may post pictures of Sam's first semi-formal dance later.

Have a good one.

Thanks for caring.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Call me a party animal....

New Years Eve I was in bed by 9:00.

Last night - I went to bed at 7:00.

Whoo hoo.
Took mom to get a perm - that was a hoot - she at first didn't want to go - but her hair needed to be done. At first she was very ill and grouchy - and I was receiving sympathetic glances and smiles. Then she turned to sweet mom - calling everyone sweetie or honey. Oh brother (so unlike my mother all the way around!)

I am not a big fan of Alzheimer's - I just don't see the purpose of it. The mind is a complex machine -
Am I a quitter?

Well, after careful thought and sheer exhaustion - I cannot work the H & R Block Job. I need to get mom situated - it was just too much. It wasn't fair to H & R (though they were more than willing to work with me), my regular job, mom and my little family.

God will provide. Steve is looking for a part-time job. I will try to clean houses on weekends.

I still feel like a quitter.