SNEAKY SNEAKY MOM

No telling how many times this has happened.  And how she is doing it, I don't know.

I found wrapped in tissue in a couple pairs of pants - a couple days worth of medicine.

This may explain a lot.

I told Melecia - we are  going to have really watch her.

I caught her one time - hiding the medicine in between her fingers on the backside of her hand.....no clue again how she is doing it.


Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky mom!

Weekend Wrap-Up and Wandering Thoughts

Sunday night - it has been a quiet weekend. 

My ears are better - yesterday I had trouble hearing - I could not ear out of my left ear at all.  Today I can hear - and I have a slight ache - nothing compared to Friday.  I am betting that is why I was sick last Tuesday.  I totally sympathize with babies with ear aches - they can't express it - but trust me a bad infection can literally make  you hurt all over and feel very sick.  Thankful for medicine and ever so thankful my doctor was able to fit me in at the last minute Friday - I am so appreciative of our doctor - they are good to our entire family - a true blessing. And I am so thankful for health insurance!

We have taken mom completely off one medicine - I now know it was literally turning her into something worse than mean, violent, Alzheimer mom.  Goodness.   She was wearing both Melecia and I out.  This weekend she has slept late  - I mean late!  And I have enjoyed it - I was able to rest  - and get things done before she got up on both days.  The rest has meant a lot.  We did get out yesterday - just did a couple of things - went to a bookstore and the dollar store.  Today we visited my sister for a bit - and I came home with a coffee table - (ours broke well over year ago)  - it is amazing what one piece of furniture can do - and it fits our living room.  I am so excited.  She has also started making candles - she wants to sell them - and she gave me some  - she does good work.  I am proud of her.

I had been hedging about mine and Steve's time away - but God really spoke to me through studying and other things I read and heard.  We need the time away as a couple.  Our marriage has taken hit after hit - some hits generated by us - but many from other sources - things out of our control.  I pray we grow closer during the time.  I am also praying that God becomes the center of our marriage.  And our lives as individuals and a couple.

Alzheimer's - I felt guilty for enjoying the quiet mornings this weekend.  Guilt for enjoying early bed times.  Then I realized God gave me and mom much needed rest.  She had to be exhausted from all the days and nights of being up and aggression.  Glenn Campbell's daughter spoke from the heart on Alzheimer's to Congress last week - they are at the beginning of the journey.  I just want to tell her it does matter what she does, it does matter that she and her family are there for her dad  - true there may be a day where he can't say her name - but he will know love.  We all know love.   Sometimes  I allow my feelings about the disease that has so savagely attacked my family  get in the way how I am caring for mom.  It is the disease controlling mom - not vice versa.  Mom has no control - and that has to be so hard for her. 

George Jones.  I remember the big stereo cabinet my parents had - I cut my teeth on country music.  And I mean the country music of old days.  George Jones being one of them.  Marty Robbins, Jim Reeves, Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash and many others.  Dad had all his albums in the bottom cabinet with the sliding door - he and I would just dance and dance.  He also had gulp....8-Tracks!  I know younger kids would disagree with me - but the country music today to me is more like the 80's southern rock we listened to in high school.  Though now I don't listen to much other than Christian or talk radio - my finger does push a different button every now and then.  I enjoyed music from my 10th grade year the other day.  Nothing like Journey.  ha ha ha.  Back to George Jones - that voice - he lived as he sang - not another one like it.  I understand he found God's peace - Praise the Lord!

I watched 60 Minutes tonight - missing Mike Wallace.  Dad and I used to watch 60 Minutes together I bet I was a very informed 10 year old.   Dad and I used to read the paper together every morning.  I think he took pride in what I knew - and would ask me to tell folks what I read that day.  He also took me to Wednesday night Bible Study every week - when I outgrew the kids classes - we sat together.  Even after I married- that was our Wednesday night thing.  Bible Study.  Man, I miss him.  He was in Isaiah devotionally  when he could no longer read the Bible.  I found his spot after he passed away.  I read from Psalms and Proverbs to him in the hospital and nursing home.  We all remember how Dad had stopped talking and didn't talk for months - until the last two weeks of his life - when he just said the 23rd Psalm over and over and over.  That gave us such peace.  I have the peace about Mom now.  I think I wrote it here in this blog - if not....here ya go.  I pray with mom each night - when I tuck her in - and one night mom said "I love you Jesus, come in my heart."  With innocence of child - I know God heard her. 

Mom used to be sooooo picky about what she wore - to the point she wore the same thing over and over.  Now she lets us pick out different outfits and such. Today she just looked cute.  Like a little grandmother should.  Make-up, hair, smelled good carrying her little purse with her everywhere she went.

I put this little table in the bathroom that the kids and mom use.  It has a drawer and shelves (another thing Judy gave me-she is cleaning out stuff) - I can't decide about it - but it does clean up clutter from the sink.  It has all mom's stuff in it - however not as much room in there.  I also cleaned up Sam's room while he was out - I put stuff in Rubbermaid containers to get him organized - his Ranger and FCF in one - movies and games in another, etc.  cleaned up some clutter.  He hasn't seen it yet.  ha ha ha..  I am not a pack rat and I hate clutter.  Very distracting to me!

I am going to pick up paint samples this week  - so I can start thinking about what color I want our bedroom.  We are also thinking about replacing mom's carpet with some type of flooring - accidents are happening - and things just don't look that great.  I may take it out into the hall way - and then Tori said she wants it in her room - so it may be  bigger project - but if I get everyone working - we may can get it done - just need to find inexpensive flooring.  But if I am taking out into other rooms I want it to look good!  And not cheap.  Is that being snotty?  Thankfully Steve's brother and oldest son have experience in putting floors in.  This is on our....okay mine.....to do list ..... it just doesn't have priority placement.

I have been blessed to be able to answer emails from home - I won't go in tomorrow totally swamped.  I also answered as many as I could from the waiting room on Friday.  It blows my mind how many I receive on any given day - and blows my mind more how many  I can answer without a ringing phone.  I told Steve today I really do like my job, and I believe in the company.  I love working from home, reading, reviewing and preparing for the next day.  I go in feeling energized and efficient. Nerdy, uh?

Did I mention I am enjoying my coffee table and my candles.  Very relaxing.  It really is the small things.

I know this post was everywhere...but had much on my mind.

Have a great week. 

Ears 👂👂

I have a long history of ear aches and related problems.

Thursday night I woke up in extreme pain. By Friday morning it was worse. They were draining and pain intense. I went to work, but called doctor and they worked me in.

Severe infection. Dr described it as a ball of infection...ugh...they drained it and flushed. Owwwwwww

I have antibiotics and drops. Right now I am hurting. I'm waiting for Advil to kick in.

Projects

I want to get some projects done - with mom in the house - they become more challenging. 
But here is what I want to accomplish

Turn back flower bed into a rock garden - mainly because I don't have time to mess with a flower bed.

Paint our shutters burgundy - to give the house a "pop" of color.

I want some hanging baskets on the front porches.

Repair the dog damages to our patio (a long story - Barney is creative)

Paint our bedroom - I am leaning toward blue and white - I saw the cutest comforter set in Big lots - loved it - but then what about a shower curtain I am thinking about doing an accent wall - in one color - different from the other three - or do the color and then paint designs on the wall with an accent color.  I just don't know - or maybe blue and grey.  I put a lot of thought into this - I have to like the colors completely.  I was looking at purple family - but I didn't see anything I liked. 

We need a new weedeater.  I would like a straight shaft - lithium model.  I have been looking and looking at weedeaters - other women look at diamonds ; - I look at craftsman - ha ha ha.

I want to go my mom's house and get some seedlings from my dad's tree - I want to start a couple in pots and plant later.

There are several others.but these came to mind

Just too darn funny not to share...mom and wine

Mom used to drink wine. And when I say she drank wine - I am thinking like two-three glasses a year.  She loved her time in California wine country in the 50's

My sister Judy gave mom a tiny sip of wine - mom made the worst face and gagging noises.  We died laughing,  I would probably gag too - I have never tasted anything with alcohol in it.  (that's the last thing my extreme personality needs!)

But her expression was priceless.......you thought she had swallowed cleaning fluid or something.

ha ha ha ha

Thursday Thoughts....

Today was a busy day at work.  I have caught up one emails and such here at home.  It is easy to do once mom is in bed - she doesn't like anything that takes my attention away from her.

When I arrived home - Tori was so sleepy in the recliner - she does work hard and goes to school, plus she fits her socializing in the midst. ha ha.

Melecia had mom looking pretty and smelling good.  We are having some medicine issues, so we are playing around with them to see how we can adjust.  I called the doctor to let them know what we were doing and for any advice they could offer. One of the meds is really beginning to agitate her - she was becoming more aggressive.  It is a guessing game.

After I got home and changed into comfy clothes, mom and I visited my sister, Judy.  We sat outside and talked. Laughed a lot.  We were blessed to have a few sweet clear moments with mom - Judy and I both teared up.  I think I needed to see and just talk to my sister more than I realized. I took mom to McDonald's and bought her a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal - she ate it up and enjoyed the toy.  She also enjoyed the sprite.  I didn't want anything - but I knew she would enjoy.

Sam has been testing all week - TCAP.  Bless his heart - he doesn't test that great.  He is super smart.  He said they seem easier this year - I told him - it is because he is smarter and knows more than he thinks.

I just painted my toenails -something  about doing something frivolous to cheer oneself up - I need and will snap out of my funk. Alzheimer's had be discouraged - and angry. And then there is so much going on - so this is me perking the heck up! 

I hope all had a good day.

I want....

I want to have something witty or insightful to say in this post.  But I do not.

I am very discouraged tonight - to the point I feel oh so lonely.  Many emotions are twirling around in my mind and heart - I ache.

Need much prayer.

10 minutes or less

My hubby was able to solve our plumbing problem from last night in less than 10 minutes when he got home from work. Thank goodness.  Mom flushed undies - and boy as I said before - we had a huge mess.

Thanks Honey!  Love you.

(bless  his heart - he is a silent, supportive witness to the drama in our household - I know it probably drives him nuts)

MELECIA

Melecia has to be the most efficient person I have ever met.  She can get mom in the tub, dried off, dressed, hair done in half the time it takes me.  And I don't play when I do it. 

She managed to give mom a good manicure - clipped her nails to shorter length at my request - because I was thoroughly scratched up last night.

She just laughs. And will turn anything mom says into a conversation with mom - she truly has a gift.

Boy we are blessed to have her,

THE LANDROMAT

As mentioned below - I had to go to the Laundromat today to wash bedding - if you know me - I love to notice and people watch.  The details are interesting. I was so sick...and didn't want to be there...but had to be there...so why not enjoy my time?

It had a vending machine - every selection was 100,000 grand candy bar - I took a pic and sent it to my sister.  Too funny.

There were two women in there - and they were covered in tattoos - I mean covered.  I don't think my Brighton Cardinal shirt fit in with skulls and snakes.  Ha ha.

I am envious of the dryers - they dry a load in about six minutes.  Can you imagine? 

And why does it seem laundry seems to take longer in a Laundromat than at home - it seemed to take forever.  In fact I endured 4 episodes of versions of People Court. Which in a way cheered me up - geesh where do these people come from?  My life looked pretty darn good when I left.  Ha ha. But regardless - it took almost two hours for the bedding to wash! Ugh!

And do people really pay $1.50 for a plastic bag to hold their laundry in?  I guess they do. 

I am so appreciative of my washer and dryer.  I feel for those who make regular trips to a Laundromat.

Sick mom, sick me...tired me

Mom was up all night with stomach bug. I was sick too,

Unreal.

I've been up since 5:30 yesterday morning.

I feel so bad. I am now at laundromat washing her bedding.....ugh ugh ugh I feel yuck. And it cost $4.50 to wash her comforter. Whatever!

In the midst of her being sick she was mean. I've been hit, kicked, punched, pinched, scratched..you name it.

She also stopped up the commode with what I believe, socks and underwear. Bathroom flooded 2:00 in morning. It has been a hoot.

I have cried and cried. Feeling like a failure, doubting myself.

Please pray...

Sunday...

Tired.

I think if I look back the majority of my posts start with tired.

Mom was a handful today. Busy, but less anxious. I cooked breakfast...then she and I jumped into cleaning. She dusted and dusted. I cleaned living room real good...even Sam helped he cleaned baseboards in kitchen and living room.

She doesn't want to sit. She literally walks all day. She has this new thing..moving furniture...she slides it across the room. Ummm no. This one is gonna be a fight.

We did go to Dollar General. And went to Sonic for therapy.

We had some visitors...Steve's oldest, his dad and his aunt and uncle. I made chili in the crock pot and we had strawberries

I am every tired. Please pray that mom settles and sits for more than 10 minutes. .

Tired.......

Saturday started out smooth...but mom became agitated.

She is literally like a two year old...into everything. Now some if her antics are not safe. Talk about stressful!

I was wiped and a blasted wreck. After dinner and her nite time med...Sam watched mom and I visited my friend Diane for a minute and then my sister Judy. Picked up some things from the store. I'm sure Diane and Judy have no idea how close I was to just crying. I treated myself to a Sonic Dr. Pepper ..,a form of therapy for me. I do love Sonic drinks. Thankfully mom was in bed when I got home. Thank you Sam!

I was just so tired yesterday, heck I'm tired right now. Discouraged. Sad.

Praying for a better Sunday.

OFF

Maybe I am being selfish.... but I had to turn the news off.  I am drained - emotionally and mentally. 

This has been a hard week and I am just a television witness to it all.  I cannot imagine how the folks in Boston and Texas feel.

I continue to pray for our leaders and our nation. 

Lord, thank you for being you - ever present in every situation - with arms open wide.  Never leaving us,never forgetting us, always loving us when we deserve it the least.  I pray for our leaders, our law enforcement, us as citizens - that we turn to YOU - THE GREAT I AM.  The God of Moses, Abraham and Isaac - the one who gave the words to those who penned YOUR BOOK.  We need you.  We need you to heal, to forgive, to show us how to forgive, to wake up tomorrow and be able to put our feet on the ground and walk the next step.  I don't know the how, the when and the where - I just know YOU will be there.....to protect, to love, to shelter, to shield....

Thank you for The Cross, The Empty Tomb, without you we truly would have nothing and be nothing.  I pray we all realize it.

West, TX

I am praying. Pray with me.

BOSTON

I think the news folks need to hush - and let pictures speak.

Lord, please be with our leaders.  Please be with those who are injured and the families of those who lost loved ones.  I want to understand, I do, when will our country learn to turn to you?  I can't even ask "What's it going to take?" 

Lord, thank you for The Cross and for the Empty Tomb. 

May we as a nation, Bless you, turn to you - instead of pushing you further away.  I am so grateful for mercies anew. 

Walk

I took mom for a walk this evening after dinner - she used her walker - and we walked further than we did last time.  It is good for her.

I brought her back home - Steve watched her and I was able to take a quick walk - it felt so good.  Relieved stress.  I hope...I PRAY...I can do this more often - just those few minutes help tremendously.

Sam the weed eater

Yesterday, Sam trimmed and mowed around the  yard and house - the parts that cannot be reached by a riding mower.  I think he did it all in about 10 minutes.

Ummmmm no.....needless to say the work needed improvement.

Our weed eater is not working - plan to get one in a couple of weeks. 

I left him a note on things he needed to touch up and to pull weeds.  He called me and here was the conversation...

Rinnnnnggggggg

Me:  Hey Sam

Sam:  Mom, are you serious...I have to mow again and do all this work

Me:  Yes I am

Sam:  Well, you need to get a dad gum weed eater.

Me:  Sam you are my weed eater.

Sam:  Huff


bahahahahahahaha - I am quite proud of myself for my quick reply

Pray......

Pray for Boston. Pray for the families who lost loved ones. Pray for those hurt.

Pray for our Nation. For our leaders.

Weekend......

It has been an up and down weekend.

Steve hurt his shoulder and arm at work on Thursday...it has bothered him all weekend. Not making him a hamper camper.

Tori has worked a lot! She may be called many things....lazy is not one of them!
Sam hung out here for a bit...spent the night with his best bud last night.

Mom has been mom. Oh my! I took her for a haircut yesterday and we walked around a consignment shop.

Today we went to grocery store. We walked around store twice. For the exercise for mom.

She has been up and down on the mood meter. I've been hugged, hit, kissed, kicked, loved on then yelled at.

Please pray for my sister Judy ... She has much going on.

Pray for a dear friend ... Marriage is under attack. Her heart is broken.

Pray for my cousin Mae. She is hurting from the loss of her sister Lily. She is going through so much.

Have a great week!

Tired....

Is what we are.

Whew!

Someone....

Go to the store for me.

Buy groceries, put them up and cook dinner for me every night.

Ha!

MOM AND PLAYDOH

Mom liked Play Doh - the picture is kind of dark...but you can tell she had fun.

DECADES....DAYS....HOURS

Today I attended the funeral of my cousin.  Very sweet service - with funny stories that had all of us laughing and nodding our  heads in complete understanding, along with tears in our eyes.

The pastor mentioned my cousin had lived 7 decades - as in many services there was a slide show playing of pictures, her children had pictures of her all through out the chapel. My cousin had a hard life, she faced many adversities and valley's.  But in all those pictures she had a smile so bright, down right laughter shining from her eyes. She loved rings - and would wear one on every finger.  You knew where she stood - she made no bones about it.

Of course as in all funerals I left reflecting.  And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't have pictures of myself smiling with eyes shining.  For 12 years I was a single mom working two or three jobs - I missed so much.  What if my kids are adversely affected?  What memories will they have of that time.  And now taking care of mom - I don't have a lot of time to be wife and mom in the way I want to me - I know this is a season but what am I missing, and are Steve and the kids missing anything?  What will their memories of me be?

Decades - I don't need to look at decades - I need to look at days..hours - how am I spending my days?  How will my kids remember me?  Am I making an impact in their lives?  Am I working to expand God's kingdom?  Does my testimony bear a positive witness? 

My cousin was saved at an older age - and a relative read a letter she wrote to him - giving him scripture and how it touched her and what she learned from it. Challenging him to apply these same scriptures in his own life.

ATHLETES I RESPECT

I ADMIRE THESE FOLKS FOR THEIR WORK ETHIC, FOR NEVER GIVING UP AND FOR ALWAYS WANTING TO DO BETTER THAN THE LAST GAME.  YES, I KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS - BUT THESE ALWAYS COME TO MIND. MY GUESS IS THEY WOULD HAVE PLAYED, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY LOVED TO WIN, HATED TO LOSE, BUT LOVED THE GAME.

 

 

I try to be positive.  I try to sound happy and energetic - I know that even if at first I don't feel like it, eventually a good mood takes over. I can remember at one job - our boss put a mirror at eye level and if we were on the phone we were to watch ourselves - that is not fun - but I got it - my mood, my attitude come through my conversation and productivity.

 

I have spent a few days observing and listening - and it blows my mind at the negativity.  I know I can and have been guilty of being negative - but geesh!  People work so hard to find the bad, to think of ways for something not to  happen that they miss the big picture.

 

My question is how can I be a better influence?  How can I be more positive?  What can I do to make a day better for others?  How can I not allow the moods and attitudes of others to affect me?  I need to allow God's light to shine so bright - than when others see or hear me - they really don't see or hear me - they see or hear God. And I haven't done so hot lately.  I am glad God convicted me of this today.

 



Lilly........

My cousin, Lilly Etheridge, passed away this weekend after a hard battle with cancer.  Diagnosis came quickly - it had spread.  She had been so sick and was so tired.  She told the doctors, no more treatments or radiation.  I am glad she was able to make that choice.

Please be in prayer for sister, Mae, her husband Terry and her children. 

Lilly, you always brought laughter and energy into a room.  You and Mae were two of my dad's favorite nieces.  I will never forget how you and Mae never forgot mom and dad. 

You will always be missed.  You will always be loved.  Say hi to dad for me.

Call it what you want.  I hate it. 

For the first time ever, I have doubted myself and my abilities.  These feelings came last night.  Mom had stopped up the commode with paper and such, opened the dishwasher mid cycle and tried to empty it, just a multitude of things.  No telling where all her socks are.   Then I realized she did all these things when I was busy with other things.  She is much like a two year old - you cannot take your eyes off of her at all.

I was mad at myself, her, and everyone else.  I lost patience.  Boy, do I feel guilty.

I refuse to give up.  But for one moment I sure wanted to.

WALK WALK WALK WALK

I took mom to the mall - we only walked half the mall, but all over Sears twice!!
Didn't buy one thing - but I was determined to give her...okay...me a change of scenery today.  After the mall walk - we drove toward home and went to the grocery store.

I even stopped and bought her a Whopper Jr ($1.29 -can't beat it!) - she came home - and took a nap.

Steve's oldest had dinner with us.  It was good to see him - the mom in me worries - he looks tired. But seems to be doing good and I think is on the right path.

I am hoping mom will rest well tonight.  I just warmed her up a plate and gave her night time medicine.

Happy Sunday!

Adjusting....

I called moms doctor about our week. We are adding to and adjusting her medicine.

I do not want her to be a"zombie." But she does need to be calmer and we need the rest. It is going to take a day or two for her body and mind to adjust to the changes....but I am hoping we see some improvement in behavior and sleep.

I introduced her to playdoh this week. She loves it! Legos are a favorite.

As always, thank you for praying.

One of the best.......

Meant to share earlier....

I rented Lincoln this weekend.

It has to be one of the BEST movies I have ever seen.

Awesome...awesome!!!!!

A movie...

At the very last minute Steve and I went to a movie.

We saw Identity Thief. Good movie and most certainly could have done without the cuss words. But it is funny. And nice to get the break. Sam watched mom and all went well....

Except she hid the dog bowls...we found them inside the china cabinet. Whew!!!

Thank you Sam!

Can't wait...

For time away. And for rest!

I'm so tired.

Better

Mom is doing better. Not violent. Just antsy.

She was sweet, cleaning mom tonight. She still doesn't make sense when she talks....and I'm sure that wont change. I just try to learn cues from facial expressions, etc. it's not easy.

What a day!!!!

Mom had a bad day.

Agitated and violent. She was rough on Melecia. And about 20 min ago she attacked me then threw herself in the floor. Pray for no injuries!

Pray for a better tomorrow.

Pray for me...right now I'm discouraged beyond discouraged.

Just Stuff

I was off on Good Friday.  I watched my sister's granddaughter, Abby. She will be seven in a couple weeks.  We baked cupcakes, read books, went to the store, bought a Sonic coke, and painted nails - blue glitter - what else?  Ha ha.  She is soooo cute and soooo sweet.  Tori said she rememberd me doing all those things with her.  That made my day.  The little things and time spent together do matter!

 

WORKING HARD ON CUPCAKES - SHE TOPPED THEM WITH A FLOWER SHAPED COOKIE

WHEW!  AFTER A DAY OF BAKING, SHOPPING AND SUCH - EVERY GIRL NEEDS BLUE GLITTER NAIL POLISH!

 

 

Saturday was pretty quiet - mom didn't feel that great - we hung out at home.  My sister, Pam and my niece, Jennifer came over to bring mom her birthday gift...(mom turned 83 Saturday - she didn't even realize or understand) But she enjoyed the visit and said the sweetest thing to my niece..she took her face in her hands...she said..."I don't know your name, I just know I love you."  Well, heck - we all teared up.   Mom asked for a hamburger - so I took her out - then after she got it - she didn't want it - and threw it at me.  No clue what the trigger was.  She settled early - and the rest of the night was quiet. 

 

Sunday - yes, I know it was  Easter.  I was so depressed.  I missed church more Sunday than I have in a long time.  It was a quiet day over all.  We "snacked" - I gave mom a bath and pampered her.  I painted her toenails - and let me tell you - it is probably the first time in her life her toenails have been red.  But she likes them.  She did smear them a tad - but oh well.

 

 

Mom wants someone (Me or Melecia) to sit by her all the time.  She will hold my hand and go to sleep.

 

Here are our hands...my hand  underneath .....on her lap....

 

 

Steve and I managed to go to a movie Sunday night- we saw GI Joe - mainly because I saw Bruce Willis on the poster - mind you he is in only a couple scenes...but still.  :)  Judy sat with mom so we could go out.  I needed the break.  And I always wonder why we buy popcorn?  It is not like we eat it.  This was the local movie theater not the one near Target - so we paid too much for something we didn't eat. But it was good to get out for just a bit.

 

I did not "big" grocery shop this weekend.  I was determined that we eat everything we already have - and we are just about there.  I am sooooo tired of spending too much money on groceries.  And guess what? We survived!  No one is hungry.  Ha ha!

 

I started cleaning up our yard tonight.  I mowed and pulled weeds by hand.  We are in need of a push mower and a weed eater for the close trimming - the riding mower started right up - I bet it was the fastest I ever mowed. I was losing light - and mom was restless. The yard is no where near where I want it to be - but it looks less like the movie sets of George of the Jungle or Lion King.

 

I ask for prayers...I am somewhat depressed here lately. Okay a lot depressed.  I know it must be the stress of every day life.  I think I cried off and on all weekend.  It would just hit me.  Another prayer request....Steve and I have a three night - four day trip semi-planned in May.  I am looking up stuff now.  Naturally, I am trying to be "cheap."  Gatlinburg.   Judy will stay with mom at night - Melecia during the day. This way her routine won't be too off.   I am so excited.   We need the time away.  I need the time away.  We will leave on a Sunday night and return Wednesday.  I am sooo sooo excited.  The prayer request in this snippet?  For mom to stay "healthy" - for all of us to stay well. For my car to stay in good shape.  For me to find good bargains.... I am telling you I bet I will sleep the first day a lot! 

 

 

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

 

 



 











Use this time....

Use this time to reflect on what Jesus did for us.

Imagine if you were the only one on the earth - He still would have stepped out of heaven to die for you!

He loves you that much.

Happy Easter - it's okay to eat a chocolate bunny and hide eggs, have fun and time with your family.  But remember...

For God So Loved The World, That He Gave HIS ONLY Begotten SON, that whosoever believe in HIM Shall Not Perish, But Have Everlasting Life.  John 3:16

Lord, Make me new each day. That all I do is honor you.  Thank you for The Cross and The Empty Tomb.

THE PROMISE - HE'S ALIVE - HE'S ALIVE

FOR YOU....FOR ME



Supreme Court

I firmly believe this is the most important week in the history of the Supreme Court since Roe v Wade.

We love others, love as Jesus loved. Respect others as we want to be respected. Treat others as we want to be treated. Agree to disagree.

But we cannot ignore, disregard God's word, His plan,and His design.

Pray.

There's a man in my room....

The other night, mom literally came running out of her room - "there is a man in my room, there is a man in my room."

I go into her room (like what am I going to do?) It was Denzel Washington on television.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Dr. Seuss and Mom

Three weeks ago - mom could barely talk or walk for that matter.  I know she won't ever be back to her old self here on earth - and in heaven - she will be completely healthy....

But I decided to bring back Dr. Seuss into my life...for mom.  I pulled books off the shelf that I probably red a 100 times with Tori and Sam.  She is reading them - and enjoying them.  The rhythm, the rhyme and the illustrations are helping her.  They are stimulating her mind.  I am also taking a Children's Story Bible (she calls it her Sunday School Book) and we are reading it.  She likes it.  I turn the TV off so the room is quiet and we read.  I don't know how much she will remember or absorb - but for that moment there is a peace.  We pray every night - ending our prayer with "Lord, make us new, inside and out, thank you for The Cross, and may we wake up new in mind, body, spirity and attitude."  And then mom says AMEN real loud. I wonder why I waited so long to try this? 

I have also put a basket together of her Happy Meal toys and such - and we go through them one by one - naming them - working them, etc.   Heck, I even make the animal sounds.  I need some legos and linking toys - she seems to like to put things together.  I want the chunky blocks.

She doesn't need her walker -she is so much stronger than she was.  God is so good.  Thanks to Melecia - she is eating healthy, hot lunches every day!  And a breakfast to include cereal, fruit and juice.  Melecia works so hard -  mom's hair is curled every day, her nails done every week - she notices and handles the small stuff - keeping mom's dignity in mind at all times. 

We appreciate your continued prayers. 

ANOTHER FUNNY

LOCK..UNLOCK...LOCK....TAP...WAVE....LOCK...UNLOCK....


Yesterday when mom and I went out - I unlocked the doors - went over to her side to help her out. She locked the door.  I would tap, she would wave  I would unlock - she would lock.

We did this about three times.....

Finally she figured out that we needed to get out of the car.....

ha ha ha ha

LAUGHTER....TRULY A GIFT....

Join me in a day..okay an hour of my life......

This afternoon - mom was restless - so I decided to get her out of the house.  I opened the garage - as mom and I were walking out the door - the dogs got out - I was trying to get the dogs and get mom either in the car or back in the house.......she opted for the car.

I take off to go find my mutts (when they are not doing what they are supposed to do - they are mutts - otherwise they are my babies)

I literally chase - run after them for a MILE.  And I am not athletic - however my former PE teachers would be proud. A nice lady notices me running after the dogs - she hops in her truck pulls up beside me and said - you catch them - I will give you a ride back.

I finally catch them.  (Barney could literally compete in jumping contests - he jumped boats, hydrants, etc) I get them in the car - remembering mom - I said " Oh no, I forgot my mother - she has Alzheimer's."  My rescuer said :"my mother has Alzheimer's too" - we bust  out laughing.  I have kindered spirit in the neighborhood - turns out I go to church with her sister.  Her nurse is friends with Melecia - in fact I gave her sister Melecia's number - for recommendations. I love how God works!

The run, the outing and the meeting of a new friend - made my day. And for some reason took away a lot of stress.

Mom enjoyed the outing. She ate a kids meal and pocketed the toy.

Arrrrggghhhh

THIS IS ME.

 

LITERALLY

 

Mom has kept me busy this weekend. 

 

 

Remember last weekend when she couldn't or wouldn't do anything?  And  I was feeling guilty for enjoying the quiet? 

 

Now I am feeling guilty for feeling like I am going crazy.  For barely holding on to my patience - and  for losing it about ummmmmmm dozens of times.

 

She is stronger - good thing.

She is eating better - awesome thing.

She is walking with confidence - really good - and without her walker.

However....

She doesn't want to sit, doesn't want to rest - and will not relax. 

 

Yesterday - she woke up at 5:30 and was up and going strong all day.  A few of things she did....she squeezed toothpaste all over the bathroom, unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper, took all her drawers our, pulled her mattress off the bed, crumbled a piece of cake up in the living room....you name it... she was agitated beyond belief and beyond what medicine we have. 

 

On the other hand - she wanted to hold my hand all day - sit right by me in every room, she hugged and kissed me all day (totally unlike well mom - who I can't remember a whole lot hugs from)

 

She is now into sweatshirts - leaving her sweater in the closet.  She is back to carrying her purse - emptying it a dozen times.

 

She doesn't like her new potty chair - and I have to be honest - I am going to have to replace carpet one day - ugh ugh ugh.  Going to have to get my hands on a carpet cleaner soon.  We only have this worry at night - thankfully during the day - she finds her way to the bathroom just fine. 

 

Steve and I were supposed to go out last night - I was too tired- exhausted actually.  I wasn't in the mood to go - my head was pounding....plus mom settled late.

 

Today she slept later - ate a decent breakfast. Snoozed on the couch.  Ate at decent lunch - took a good bath - but has walked a 100 laps around the house and now I am literally tripping on her. 

 

I want to say I handled this whole weekend with grace and patience - with the nomination of caregiver of the year - but far from it.  I want to say bitterness and anger haven't snuck in my mind and heart - but they have. 

 

Lord, please forgive me for giving it all to you.  For not trusting you in every circumstance.  You haven't left me, I have tried to control every situation.  I need that peace that passes all understanding.  I need that peace and comfort to enter mom in mind and heart.  Forgive me for not being patient, for yelling, for being frustrated.  Lord, this one is going to sound silly - but I need mom to feel comfortable with the different medical equipment. Please be with Tori and Sam - their mom is torn in different directions- but they do not complain.  Thank you for my husband - he struggles with me being divided into directions - but he hangs in there. 

 

Lord, as we approach Easter this week - may be never forget the meaning of The Cross and The Tomb.  Lord, thank you for loving us, for never failing us, for being Lord of all.

 

 

 

 

 

COMMENTS

I am pretty sure I deleted some comments by mistake.

Sorry!

An hour

Doesn't it amaze you just much we as wives and mothers get done in just an hour!

Lord. Thank you for the time and energy, without you I could not do what I do.

Chilis

Tonight Steve took mom and I to dinner. We went to Chilis,it was so good.

We saw my niece. Jennifer. Mom was happy to see her.

Mom enjoyed getting out with her new walker, ate all her food...then said it didn't taste good. Bahahaha

A rally....

Mom has rallied. If I had not been on this up and roller coaster ride ,I would not have believed it. Amazing!

A potty chair and a walker have been delivered. Mom took to the walker like a duck to water. She loves it. The potty chair should help us at night. She has been getting up and just going on floor. I'm going to have to clean her carpet soon. Ugh ugh ugh . Oh well!😁😏

But mom has rallied. She is feeling better. Eating. Walking and talking and is so much stronger. Praise The Lord. I give so much credit to Melecia. She has been awesome...is awesome. She takes such good care of mom. She has good ideas and is so practical. I cannot say enough how blessed we are to know Melecia and have her take care of mom. Mom loves her and so do I. We all do.

Shampoo

Why do we have like 10 different bottles of shampoo in various amounts? Various colors? For dry hair, oily hair, fruit scented, cleansing you name it.

It is now my goal to use them up.

And why does conditioner never seem to run out?

To Mr or Ms Customer....

It doesn't help if you yell and cuss.

TRUST ME!

Mom...

Heck it it has been up and down week. I'm tired. In need of a break.

Mom had stopped eating. And then on Tuesday afternoon she started eating..maybe because of Sam? She ate decent yesterday. She had lost weight.

She is so unsteady. She fell this morning going to bathroom. We have a bedside potty chair on the way and a shower chair.

She turned into mean mom last night. Spitting medicine out and slapping me and walking strong. I had to just leave the room.

Up and down and around again. I'm exhausted. I think I could sleep for two days. We have some icky weather coming an excuse to rest.

Come on Mema....

(Told to me by Melecia)

On Tuesday, Sam arrived home from school. He said hello to Melecia and mom- went to kitchen and his room.
He came back and sat beside mom..it hit him that basically the only grandparent he's known...the one who helped raise him is not doing so hot. He put his arm around her and said "come on Mema do better...this is Sam". And he started sobbing. He excused himself to outside and collected himself.

Please pray.

Sam the high school freshman

We registered tonight. He is sticking with general studies and football. This is what the guidance counselor suggested. He can change his mind.

She spent a lot of time with us and Sam asked good questions. Admitted he wasn't a huge fan of school or studying...hence the choices above.

I think we made the right decision - he will be challenged with the opportunities to succeed.

And did I mention he's taller than me?

HIgh School

Tomorrow we register Sam for high school..

Call me mother of the year - I forgot about open house at the high school. Geesh!  I had in my head it was tomorrow - with registration Tuesday. 

Please pray that we choose the right course of study that not only challenges Sam, but encourages him to succeed. That he will not accept mediocracy.  That he sees that there is a whole world of opportunity out there. That he is smarter than what he gives himself credit for.  Pray he is a witness.  Pray others see God in him.  Pray he is a leader and not a follower - that he doesn't even consider the temptations that will face him daily,hourly, etc.

Pray I am the mother I need to be.  To allow him to make mistakes - but to hold him accountable.  To not accept mediocracy.  That I won't lose my cool in those teen age moments that are sure to come up.  Pray I am a witness - that Sam sees God in me.

High School

Wow. 

OBSERVATIONS

There is no denying we are on a new leg of the Alzheimer journey.  I wish I could adequately explain the changes I have seen in two weeks.  But we will adjust.  We will keep going.

I have to prompt mom to eat.  Take another bite, take a sip, and so on.  She does better if I am sitting right beside her.  She ate good today - three full meals and plenty of liquids. I bought some red plates after reading a couple of articles that suggested red plates encourage/prompt  Alzheimer patients to eat,  I also picked up those plastic cups with straws - and lids.  And plastic coffee cups with sipping lids  (similar to what you get in a restaurant) so she won't spill it. 

 I gave her a bath and curled her hair - she needs help dressing now.  Or I coach her what to do - I want to keep her doing as much as she can.  She did talk to day - probably because I talked about any and everything today.  She also dusted and dust mopped. 

She went the whole weekend without wearing her beloved sweater and without carrying her purse. Strange for me to see.  She leaned toward blue jeans and a sweatshirts. 

I refuse to let her give up.  I refuse to let her quit.  I want to keep her moving and talking.  As I said before I want to just pour my will into her - to keep her going.  She knew my name today - so something is still there. She knew Steve's name and Tori's.  The person of mom is still there!  A person who deserves care, who deserves the best I can do and give.

I ask for your prayers - pray for clearer moments and physical strength for mom.  Pray I am patient and strong of heart and mind - and learn how to handle the new bumps we will face.

Sunday AM

Mom slept all night. I woke her up for potty and medicine. She seems physically stronger.

My ears kept me awake. Ugh

The child support money has not been released. Very frustrating.

I am washing Sam's bedding now. I'm going to pick up a couple Rubbermaid tubs to see if we can organize him better. Or one of those plastic 3 drawer things. I dealt with living in a small space for years...his hard hat area should be no problem.

I'm laying in bed. Waiting for Tylenol to kick in.

Have a good one

Saturday...

We started out lazy. I have to be honest I just don't feel good. My ears are bothering me, they hurt.

Mom is mom. Today she was quiet and didn't want to eat.

I disinfected our room. Washed bedding, baseboards etc. Sam's room is tomorrow. It hasn't been that long since I did his so it is not too bad. He is a pack rat and that drives me crazy! And he has a few Ranger projects in various stages of completion. I am going to have to encourage completion! Ha! His room is at the front of the house so I need .... Ok want his room to be clean and tidy.

It feels good to have the house cleaned. I need to tackle some ironing. And clean out some paperwork, etc. get rid of some clutter. I cleaned my desk and files out at work yesterday. I needed to complete something that didn't require thinking.

Steve is feeling better. He never calls in sick but had to yesterday. He felt pretty tough. He is also working on his diet to lower blood sugar and cholesterol.

We hope to go out tomorrow sometime for our anniversary. Dinner and movie.
I hope I feel better and hope mom behaves so one of the kids can sit with her.

Have a good night!

Two more to go.....

Tonight I cleaned and disinfected the house. I have our room and Sam's room left. They are on tomorrow's agenda.

I used good ole fashioned has to be diluted Lysol concentrated cleaner...the stuff in the brown bottle. Baseboards, trim, door knobs and light switches. The top of the fridge too (eeewww...how does it get dirty?).

It so needed to be done. I am happy about being productive..with mom in bed I got a lot done. I need to wash windows. Don't know if that will happen this weekend

I am so thankful. Melecia had no idea I had been planning to clean. She and mom cleaned her room real good rearranged some things. It looks good. She definitely went above and beyond. We are blessed!

Mom musings...

Mom had a better day. It was obvious she felt better. She looks better.

However if I had not seen it myself I would not have believed it. Allow me to elaborate.

After hearing how good she did all day...I came home to pitiful mom...pitiful mom morphed into mean mom. Mean mom kicked me and slapped me when I was trying to help with clothes. Mean Mom walked with balance and strength. After she calmed down she was pitiful mom again. And could barely walk.

Arrrgghhhh

Okay...

Okay, so I am not good at the whole babying thing.

I finally decided to be tougher on mom tonight.  She wanted me to fold something,hold a cup, etc.  I told her "No, you need to try..." I got that look that used to make 10 year old me  hide - but she did it.  Took her longer - but she did it.  Hmmph

I know she is getting worse - but I refuse to let her give up.  I wish I could pour my will into her.  But by golly if she is with me  - she is going to fight fight fight and be spunky - even if it is in 10 minute increments.

But I will enjoy the quiet times, like now, when she is sleeping soundly.

______________________________________________________________

Steve and Sam are both sick.  Sam is where Steve was yesterday - Steve is where I was last Wednesday.  They both made fun of me - and said I was wimpy - I have no sympathy. Ha ha ha ha
I guess that is bad?  Nah! ha ha ha

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Happy Anniversay Steve.

Five years!

I love you.

I can't seem to stop thinking....

About mom and the changes that have happened in 1 week - 7 days.  A lot can happen in 7 days,

She sleeps more now.
She doesn't want to be alone - even going to the bathroom.
She folds napkins and papertowels twice as much now - and no telling where we will find them.
She tries to carry on a conversation - but words fail her.
She is walking.
She is holding her head up.
She will dust if she wants to. 
She seems more timid.  She is afraid of different things - she doesn't want to walk into a room by herself.
She is still eating and drinking. But believe it or not doesn't seem that interested in sweets - and she loves sweets.
She needs help dressing.  But can tie her shoes.
She enjoyed having her nails painted - I just put a clear coat on there - and she is so proud.  She had me do mine too. 
She knows that my name is Becky.  I am not too sure if she knows I am her daughter. 
She still wants to wear the same beige sweater.
She likes me to make a big deal about feeding Noel - her Christmas Beta Fish.
She likes me to pray with her and tuck her in every night.



I am trying to imagine if "well" mom is in there - if she can see what is going on - but cannot speak.  I can only imagine the inner turmoil, pain and confusion.

I have said it dozens of times - I hate this disease.  I don't understand it.  I can't consider it "pure joy:" as James tells us - I just don't know what we are supposed to learn from it

I thought I was.....

Prepared.

Prepared for the next step or stage into Alzheimer World.

Who am I kidding?

It literally happens overnight. Mom is definitely weaker physically and is not as verbal. Though she can say some comment that is funny.

I want her going through her purse a dozen times and changing clothes more than that.

Then I feel selfish for enjoying the times she is quiet and sleeping. Guilt consumes me. I don't miss her fighting me over everything. But I miss the feisty mom. To get her moving I had to MAKE her dust. But she did it.


Dear Heavenly Father, I am tired, I am sad. I feel guilty for enjoying quiet times. You know how I feel about this disease. Please allow moments of clarity and physical strength. Thank you for the Cross.

I am

Tired.

Very much so. I am cold from the inside out.

A spoon and tears...

Yesterday mom forgot how to use a spoon.

I cried and cried. I ached.

A couple hours later she ate just fine.

There is no doubt we have turned a new corner, I just don't know what street we turned on. It is true she doesn't feel good. So we have a cold, UTI, and constipation going on...all adding to the Alzheimer's.

Thank you for praying.

.

Mom

Not feeling good at all. Please pray.

Showed up...showed out!

That is what God did!

Last August we received this thick packet from the IRS saying we owed $4,000. I disagreed, sent corresponding forms...they replied but knocked it down to $2,000.

Ummmm no!

Filled out more forms. They replied still $2,000. Ummm no! I wrote letters, asked questions, more forms. Still said we owed $2,000.00. Ummmm no! Steve was ready to make arrangements for payment.
Ummmm no! One more time, more forms a note written in black sharpie.

We received a letter today we owe nothing!!!!!!! Whoo hoo! Persistence and prayer paid off. I cannot tell you how many forms. I filled out but I knew we didn't owe it! I can see why people give up..but you can't! Keep trying.just because they are the government doesn't make them smarter or right. Don't give up!

God is sooooo good!

Other news....

Our mortgage payment lowered $150!!!!

Whoo hoo

Project #2

Is complete!

And I'm down to 10 emails. I started with triple digits.

Whoo Hoo!!!'n

Sunday thoughts and musings....

We sprang forward - with mom sleeping late.  To 11:00.  She just does not feel good at all. But I think with her sleeping late - it has helped her adjust to the time change.  It is raining and has been a lazy day.  She ate her usual Rice Krispies and coffee.  She has a nasty sinus infection -I am pumping liquids into her big time.  She ate a good dinner just a bit ago. Earlier I gave her a bath - she sure didn't argue with me this time....but I was still wore out.  We use more towels. I so cheat.  I put on shampoo and conditioner at the same time...ha ha ha.  But she likes being lotioned, powdered and perfumed and  then we did hair. 

As I am typing this - I signed on mainly to give my brain a break - I am looking at her. She is worse than she was a month ago.  I don't know if "worse:" is the word - maybe different is the word.  I don't know if it is because she is sick and we still have some stomach issues going on.  Or are we entering yet another stage.  She is still mobile, sits up, controls her head, goes to the bathroom by herself...dresses herself (well sorta - you have to coach her)  I try to get her to do as many things by herself as she possibly can.  But she is not as verbal - and as I wrote a few days ago - cannot come up the names or words of things.  She gets upset if she can't remember her thoughts or what she was going to say.  I think about my dad.  How different things are than they were 11 years ago.  Oh, to turn back time and have the knowledge we do now.  I sure do miss him.  Having two parents with completely different forms of Alzheimer's/dementia has been and is heartbreaking. 

I have completed one work project, answered a few..okay a lot of  emails.  I received a couple of thank you emails from customers whom I helped - that always cheers me up - I am pleased when they are happy with customer service and product. I am going to work on my other project.  I started on it the old fashioned way...a legal pad. So far I have been able to read my own handwriting. And I have emails and other notes I have taken.  This is a policy and procedure manual.  Hopefully it will help us be better. 

Tori survived working 9:00 PM  last night to 7:00 AM this morning - she was supposed to get off at 5:00 but a couple of people were running late.  She was tired and dragging today.  The will have to work that shift once every week.  I so appreciate all McDonalds has done for her - but who eats fries at 3:00 am?  Oh, well - part of life I guess. And if she goes into law enforcement - she will probably be one of those buying fries at 3:00 a.m.

We received past due child support - you have no idea how this will help.   It is needed.  God is so good.  Why am I continually blown away by His provision?  Their dad is starting to do right - and hopefully he will continue.  Patience and perseverance has paid off.  it may take awhile for the state to release it. Six months. Lets pray not!

I am still sick.  I can't hold much down. So far I am keeping some homemade potato soup down.  I ate it about an hour and a half ago.  Only thing I have eaten today.  I have some in a bowl for lunch tomorrow.  I am weak and tire so easy.  I just don't understand why I don't feel better.  Please pray!  I am going to work tomorrow. 

Back to work for me.  Emails and project #2 are calling. 

Never fails....

It never fails! I can time it.

I went to the grocery store, came home cooked a quick dinner. Normal stuff.

Sam was at a friends house they just returned from their church trip..he came home just as I finished unpacking and cooking...he ate in like two minutes...gathered up church gear and left to go back to his friends. Ha!

I say all this because I just told my friend Carla on the way home that I bought groceries and Sam would just show up to eat ... How does he know????

I think his ears are tuned to my car and my skillet. Even if he is two streets over, up the stairs and playing video games..HE
KNOWS.

Ugh!

I continue to ask for prayer....

I feel tough. I can't hold anything down. Oh me! I went to the store and it wore me out. Tori watched mom for me...I am so glad because I don't think I could have handled her.

My stomach is rolling! I don't do well with this type of sick. Ugh.

Mom doesn't feel that good...I just doctored her up.

Saturday

I want to say I feel better.  But I do not.

Okay, well maybe I feel better compared to Wednesday, I still feel tough!  What the heck?  I still ache, though not as much and I am so cold - from the inside out.  I have no energy - I guess it is going to take time.

Mom slept real late today - she seems kind of sluggish and doesn't seem to have much of an appetite today.  Judy took her to the doctor yesterday - and her problem is all sinus related.  I have a strong feeling the time change is going to throw her for a loop - she has never done well in the past - well she did better last year - because she still lived in her own home - so I changed all her clocks two days early and it eased her into it - but I didn't do that this year.  Pray I don't regret it.

Sam had an overnight trip with FCF/Royal Rangers last night.  He was excited - he left right after school.  He normally only takes his cell phone to school on Football days - well he took it yesterday - sat on it funny, it turned on and it rang - who called is beyond me -  it was taken up =rightfully so and he has after school detention this week. Which really is punishment for me - trying to get there in time to pick him up.  I know rules are rules - and I respect them and I expect my  kids to respect them - I just wish they could have them - with them TURNED OFF.  It is hard tracking kids down at after school stuff and finding them in big buildings and such.  Especially when they are walking between fields, locker rooms, buildings and and the gym. But lesson learned for both of us. 

Tori works a funky shift she is not happy about tonight. 

Steve had a busy week at work - working at not too  hot properties.  I so worry.  It seems like I see on the news everyday a shooting at one of the many places he works.  Memphis is a city in desperate need of cleaning up.  I just don't know what we...what I can do?  The police department seems to be in trouble, in the outlying communities you have corrupt mayors, etc.   Speaking of which I cannot believe that the mayor of Southaven, MS is going to run for reelection.  Surely the citizens will have some common sense.  And then research Oakland, TN mayor. Well former mayor.   Oh my - please pray.  We need to pray for our local elected officials....we need Godly leaders at every level.  But back to Memphis, you have Bellvue, Hope Pres, The Life Church, COGIC is headquartered here - but the citizens don't seem receptive to The Word that is presented on every corner.  A vicious cycle of unwed mothers, absent fathers, violence, dropouts - and it is getting worse - not better.  They are constantly starting programs and ordering studies to see what can be done - but I don't see the results - what are the results?  Geesh! 

I am totally behind on housework - it needs a good disinfecting - but it will wait a few more days.  I have kept up kitchen and bathrooms - but it needs a good dusting, mopping, vacuuming. And I am so ready to tackle outside.  Our backyard needs serious work - and I have a few ideas in my head.

I am ready to answer emails for work and complete a few  projects. I have given myself a deadline of tomorrow to complete two...and I will do it.

Five Years....

In six days Steve and I will celebrate our five year anniversary.

We have been through so much in the past five years. God provided and continues to do so. I am hoping we can take some time away together real soon. We both need it and I most certainly do. I need to take the caregiver and mom hats off for a day or two. I need to be solely wife.

As I have written before, I know all is for a season. But this season has been long and hard. And we are still on the journey. Thankfully God us carrying us.

I remember when he brought me just one little rose every week. I loved those roses.

He gives the best foot massages.

I'm praying for some time away soon!

FLU

Yep, we've been hit.

I'm so sick and hurt all over. I have no strength.

Mom is right behind me. Please pray mom heals quickly. I know there is not much you can do for the flu, but she is going to doctor tomorrow. Judy is taking her. Pray pray pray.

Steve and the kids are fine. Thank goodness!

I am...

A sick girl.

I went back to work today and just couldn't make it. I had fever and felt so bad. I surely thought I would be better, especially after two shots yesterday.

I am taking the rest of the week off. I will answer emails from home. But I will rest.

Mom is okay. She was MEAN today. Bless Melecia's heart.

Please pray for us!

This Caregiver on This Tuesday....

This caregiver is sooooooo tired.....worn out actually.  We've had an exceptionally long day with doctor appointments.

We left early enough to eat lunch out - that was a treat!  Mom ate catfish - she absolutle loved it.  I opted for a salad, and Melecia at beef tips.  We ate at one of my favorite places to eat COLTONS in Bartlett.  When I worked in Barteltt - I ate there just about every Thursday which was my super long day at work.  Their sweet tea is good - the only problem is they sell fake Dr. Pepper...akda Mr. Pibb and yes you can taste the difference.

It was good to be with Melecia for a whole day - we put our heads together and came up with different food ideas, etc.  Mom now has a wider variety of foods for lunch - which is her main meal.  We asked mom questions about favorite foods, etc - and she told us.  She likes fish, carrots, butter beans, chicken, beans and bread.  So after we ate we still had time until our appointments - so we went to Kroger...mom sat in the car with Melecia (oh how I wish I had that all the time) - and I picked up a few things.  I am off routine in grocery shopping thanks to surgery.  But oh well.

Finally we make it to the doctor about 40 min early until my appt - thank goodness!  I was seen - was told my ears are still bad and all the glands and lymph nodes in my neck are very swollen.  It really does feel like I am swallowing glass and totally hurts to talk.  But thankfully they gave me two shots!  The awesome cocktail shot and an antibiotic shot.  I should feel better by tomorrow. And two more prescriptions.  I really think I should have taken more time off after surgery - allowing myself to heal all the way around.  Hard Lesson Learned!!!  Mom was seen - they started checking her in as I was finishing up - and they came and talked to me before mom came back to the same room so we could go over everything and get a game plan. With Alzheimer's it is hard to tell what is wrong - so they gave her a pretty good check up.  They are checking her thyroid, etc.  But did find she had a bladder infection, her blood sugar was high - they are going to check that again and let me know those results - because it could be from one of her medicines. And of course the potty issues.  Bless her heart - it is going to take a bit to get straight - but I promise I made a rookie mistake in care giving and won't happen again - I have to be on top of that.  A web site I read regularly suggested keeping a bathroom chart and diet chart to see how those two things correspond.It is just making myself do it.  Being organized enough to do it.  But 24 hours ago  - at this time - mom could not walk, could not talk - she was pitiful  My mind was already jumping to conclusions and other what if's.i was a wreck.  Shame on me!  She received a couple prescriptions -so hopefully she will feel better soon.  We were at the doctor a long time - about 2 1/2 hours. Whew.  Thankfully they called in our prescriptions and they were ready as we came home - whoo hoo!  That totally saves time.

We made it home - mom was hungry - made  her a steak sandwich - she is now dozing on the couch.
I hope to do some work here shortly - mainly checking and answering emails.  I did about two hours of work this morning and about 4 hours last night.  What an absolute blessing.  I am so thankful.

Then men in this family are eating pizza tonight - just too tired to do more than that. 

Specific prayer requests...

I have a court date scheduled for child support - I know exactly what the outcome will be.  He won't show, a continuance will be filed, blah blah blah. I called my case worker today and explained that I have missed so much work lately with surgery and being sick and with mom. She asked that I get my doctor to fax a letter and for me to send a letter to them explaining that I do care, that I am concerned - but I just can't miss.  The last court date was such a waste - I was the last one seen - and nothing was done.  It gets old. The system is full.  Thankfully their dad is attempting to do right - and has been paying something - so that is a good thing.  And I will say that.  I just want to keep it in the system - and have them collect as he works, etc. - why waste time, energy, tax payer money, my paycheck and my sanity for an unfruitful event?

Pray mom gets straightened out soon!  Pray her blood sugar reading was an error.  I know there is no cure for Alzheimer's but these small things surely worsen it. And right now I am so hating this disease.

Pray for me as Sam is so being a teenager.  I need to use discernment and wisdom. And not lose my mind with foam coming out of my mouth.  Ha!

Pray for our leaders state and nationally. There is so much going on. 

Thanks to my coworkers for yet again helping and covering for me.  I have no words as to what it means.  I am blessed. 

Today.....

Today has been tough.  I attempted to go into work - but left early. I just felt bad.  I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

I stopped at pharmacy to pick up some medicine for I think everyone in this family.  Geesh. 

I came home so wanting to rest....but poor mom.  And let me say now....Melecia has to be the most wonderful person ever!

Without trying to get gross or too personal....mom struggles with going potty.   And she eats plenty of fiber in her diet.  It is a huge issue in our lives.  A mom who hasn't gone potty  usually is a mean mom - well today she was sick mom and was miserable. She was crying.  Then she finally went potty....well that brought on another problem that required soaking bath and Preparation H.  She was still crying.  She was weak, could barely walk...much less stand.

I learned so much from Melecia today - she is just so darn good - she just handles it.  Oh, how I admire her.  Not one person could have done better.

Mom is feeling a little better, a little stronger - she finally ate some soup and a Mrs. Weaver's chicken salad sandwich.  She has finished two glasses of tea and one glass of water.  I am of the personal opinion - tea will cure anything.  Nothing like good 'ole southern sweet tea.  Whoo hoo!

I do know mom is getting worse - there is no doubt. But I have learned to watch this issue more closely - I want to try a daily dose of prune juice - not too sure she will drink it - but everything I read concerning the potty problem and prune juice - says a "shot" glass full is a miracle worker.  But getting her to drink it? That is another issue!

I am mad at myself for not being better...for not noticing these things.  I have to stay on top of it.

Please pray mom feels better....we see the same doctor - and they are seeing her right after me tomorrow.

And join with me praising and thanking God for Melecia. She is angel in scrubs! 

Things you just don't mess with

For my sanity's sake and my mother's peace of mind - please do not mess with the image, packing, design of the following....

Because these follks did.......on their chicken salad...I could not find a picture.
But every product in their line has a new look.  Hmmph!  They have no idea what they have done!  Ha ha ha

 

OK

Ok, so I am losing my mind.

Mom has got to me today.  She has not wanted to sit or rest - and I do!  She wanted and I am sure needed attention I did not have in me to give today.

As far as my ears go, if I am not better in the morning - I am calling doctor for a shot. What  happened to shots anyway?  Growing up, if I was sick, I knew I was getting a shot.  Plain and simple.  You got well a whole lot faster.  Back to not feeling better, I am now coughing my head off and I feel as if it is going to my chest - time to bring out the VICKS. And it hurts to talk!

The weekend, mom,ears and such....

I left work on Friday - so tired.  Blaming it on being back at work full time from surgery.

I woke up Saturday morning -sick.  Sore throat, bleeding ears and nose. . I went to the only open place locally - Walgreen's clinic.  I have a ruptured ear drum, sinus infection...the usual blah stuff. 

Mom has been box of chocolates mom this weekend - you just don't know which mom you are going to get hour to hour - but yesterday she was a combined sweet, delightfully confused, loving mom.  Kind of like Turtle candy -a pleasant mixture. Though she was sweet - she was antsy. Steve wanted to go to Bass Pro, and we planned to go - but I felt so bad - but both of us knew mom needed a change of scenery.  So off we went.

First thing through the door - the deers - mom loved those.  We saw the fish - she enjoyed those.  She was thirsty - and here is the funny part - so we went to the restroom and the water fountain.  A hoot - I could not get her to understand how to drink from the fountain - (and normally I run from fountains - but it was bothering her, I forgot water bottles, her lips and mouth were dry) she kept backing away from the fountain - I showed  her how to do it - still no luck - she washed her hands in the fountain - so funny.  She finally scooped water with her hands.  I bet we were at that fountain 15 minutes. 

Thankful for the kindness of strangers............

Every person mom saw she said hello to and wanted to hug.  And I guess folks picked up on the Alzheimer's because not one person turned away. She was hugged, patted, and made over.  What a blessing.

Corky's........

After Bass Pro - we went to Corky's BBQ,  (If you are not from Memphis - look it up)  awesome BBQ!  Steve's oldest met us and we enjoyed time with him.  Mom said she wasn't hungry - but
ate her sandwich and fries. And I love love love their potato salad.  Yum Yum. That is the way it is done.  So if you come here eat at Corky's.  Or the Rendezvous (I love the BBQ nachos here) or Neely's for good Memphis BBQ.

$50.........

I received a refund check from a doctor in the amount of $50. Well!  So that is how we paid for Corky's. A neat treat!

Home.........

I have continued dressing mom for bed, tucking her in and praying with her.  She went to bed so much later than usual- but slept all night and slept late this morning.

Tori......

Tori had rough weekend - her glasses and her phone break. The glasses can be repaired  - the phone no - but can still be used.  She and her newest fellow - seem to be doing well. And shhhhh we like him!  He works at Haddads (department store in Munford - if you can't find it anywhere - go to Haddads - they sell a little bit of everything) 

Sam.....

Sam participated in pinewood derby with Royal Rangers at church - they lost  something about their axles.  But he had fun.  He starts football for HIGH SCHOOL tomorrow.  Weight Training.  I am glad - he needs the physical outlet and a change of scenery.  I have told him he doesn't have to play - his choice - but he needs to do something for exercise. He does better in school.  He needs to be part of something.  I don't really care what it is - but at school - you build friendships when you are part of group - and sure makes life easier. Sam is a big ole teddy bear - but he does not tolerate anyone bullying anyone - it upsets him so - so he always leans toward being friends with those who seem to need "protection" (don't know if that is the best word  to useor not)  His best bud in the neighborhood is so small compared to Sam - not in height - but all other sizes - and since they were younger- Sam protected him from mean kids. Other mothers would brag on him.   So like it or not Sam is a mother hen like his mother and sister.

Today......

Today - my ears are killing me.  The pain is unreal,  if a nurse were to ask me to say what my pain scale is - I would say a 10.  I am miserable.  I have lived on Tylenol, Advil and ear drops today.  I don't feel good at all.  I literally have been so lazy today.  I picked up and took a shower and that is it.  I washed and dried laundry - and for a bit it piled up - but after a nap I folded and put away.  Mom had a lot in there for some reason.

As I write, I have some minute steaks baking in the oven.  I plan to cook a few veggies and that is it.

Mom woke up mean this morning.  uh oh.  She leveled off after lunch.  Right now she is really confused and can't form sentences and words (so different from last night) - I hate this disease.

I gave her an ice cream bar a few minutes ago after she took her medicine - she first didn't want it - until she took first bite - she said...hmmmm that is good and wolfed it down.

I need paper towels and aluminum foil.  Someone bring me some!  ha ha ha

Lap top.....

Because I have to go in late every day, to accommodate mom not being alone - I have always missed time and pay at work.  It was adding up. But you do what you have to do.  However, my employer has graciously supplied a laptop for me and I have been able to make up my time here at home.  It is awesome answering emails from home.  You have to know the second I arrive at work I am on the phone. And what should take 5 minutes - sometimes takes me an hour to get done - because I am constantly interrupted.   I talk all day long to the point I am hoarse - have no clue how I am gonna do it tomorrow-it hurts to swallow and talk.  (Please pray).  I've had two 40- hour checks - and that hasn't happened in over three years.  I am so thankful my employers and coworkers understand aging parents, family, ball games and such.  What a blessing. 

Now about those paper towels.....(I bet you thought I forgot didn't you..since I am rambling so...)

Mom

I am sad. Mom is declining.

It is more obvious this week. She is still mobile but her words are jumbled, scrambled, and way out there.

Now with this crazy disease of Alzheimer's - she could rally tomorrow. I hope.

Please pray...she fell today trying to sit down.

Tomorrow we are taking her to Bass Pro. I'm going to talk to management and see if they will let her do some kid stuff.

I want to know the purpose of this disease. The pain and heartbreak it brings seems endless.

I've been praying with her. Holding her and praying. This little woman who used to be so grouchy and mean when she was healthy...who was never affectionate holds on tight and wants me to tuck her in... who loves to have a bunch of kisses on her cheek. I just want to hold her tighter and turn back time.

On a lighter note...when I helped her get her pjs on she said "Becky don't mess up my hair." She smoothed her hair out and laid down. And reminded me she needs lipstick. Ha!

No offense....

But Pope Benedict is not Jesus. And I'm sure he would say the same thing.

Allow him rest and privacy. I have this image of him taking off the heavy robes in his retreat and putting on flannel pajama pants, having a bowl of cereal and enjoying the quiet and the less fuss.

Only me!!

Well, maybe Carla and Diane.

I left early this morning...no small fete. Planned on dropping car off for new brakes and two new tires. Next month I hope to buy the other two.

I had a blowout!

The guy who stopped and helped me....
Saw it happen , I was in traffic, said I handled it like a champ! I was on the phone with Diane! I got off real quick. Was able to control car.

Thank you God for your protection and your provision for new tires! What a blessing.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Happy Birthday Diane!

Love you!

They're heeeerrrrreeeee

Girl Scout Thin Mints.

Whoo hoo!

Steve bought me two boxes and then expected me to share!!! Hmmph. I think not. Love only goes so far. Ha ha