HOMEWORK.

Yes I know I have written about homework on numerous occasions. But from August to May of every year - I have to go through this.

10 minute assignment for my son turns into 3 hours.

My daughter is the only who doesn't have homework - until she remembers at 9:30 she has a test the next day.

Pencils disappear around our house. At the start of the year - they stand in the pencil cup, bright yellow, points sharpened, ready to go. Three weeks later - they can be found in GI Joe's tank - taking the place of lost ammo. Or they can be found by the blow dryer. Or by the cat food. Or in the yard - where it was used as a pick-to plant an apple seed.

And since we are on the subject of school, read what I have done and learned so far this school year.

I have now studied the continents, the oceans, scientific method, helped with two projects for my daughter, packed lunches, scraped up money for book order, scraped up money for lunch and snacks, found lost shoes, gave up on the "jammed" zipper on a back pack. We have a lot of "single" socks - waiting for their mate. This year I was smart - for my son all his socks are the same -so hopefully we won't have a hard time matching up socks - can't say the same for my daughter. Can't figure out why both of my kids had three shirts in the wash the other night for only one day of school. My son still doesn't understand why soap and toothpaste are necessary. My daughter thinks I am totally mean - because I don't just give out money for ball games and such. (really what kind of mother am I? I'll tell you! A broke one!) I picked Fruit Loops from every corner of the house this morning - I don't even want to know.

And to think the above started with me talking about homework.

I don't need homework, I need therapy.

Let me introduce you to the two people I love the most in this world. They are two of the greatest kids ever. And if I do say so myself, I think my daughter, Tori, is totally beautiful and my son, Sam, is very handsome. They both are funny and very confident. I am so proud of them. I am so blessed!

Tori took these pictures of Sam. He is 9 years old. Loves soccer, GI Joes, The US Flag, and wants to be soldier when he grows up. He is sooooooooo funny.

Here is Tori, my girl. She will soon be 15. She is very funny. Loves Church and wants be a psychologist when she grows up. Two of these are "self portraits"

A weekend of friends.......

It has been a good weekend. Friday night was a crash and sleep night. Saturday had a dinner with friends - and we had a blast. We laughed and laughed.

I love my friends. I am totally blessed!

An observation from my daughter....

Excuse the language...but I can only tell it as it was said...

"Mom, your butt is not really fat, it is wide and flat."

I don't know if that is a compliment or an insult.

When she wakes up I'll let you know. :)

Okay....now the pressure is really on.

I really don't know where my son is getting this.

Mom, you really need to hurry up. I am not getting any younger. Find a boyfriend already.

I don't think he knows there some things I do well under pressure and then there are things I don't.

It hit me last night....

Why I am still single. I was in that halfway spot between being awake and sleeping.

My son had a nightmare - he climbed in bed with me. The dog was at my feet, I rolled on top of a GI Joe and an army tank.

That is why I am still single...no room for anyone/thing else.

How funny.

Why is it the older I get the harder it is for me to get out of bed?

Is it because I have always had to get up early?

Is it because I am tired?

What is it?

This is my last chance......

On the way home from dinner Saturday night with D.C.- my son made us both laugh with the following.

"Momma, this is your last chance, your last opportunity for me to be happy about this. And I am serious, your very last chance."

I was curious..."I said, my last chance for what?"

His reply "For you to get married. And I mean it. You need to hurry up."

"But son, I am not even dating anyone - much less plan on marrying someone."

"I know momma, but you got to get moving...how long does it take?!"

"But son, (trying to get the subject off of me - am I good friend or what?) what about
Ms. D.C. - don't you want her to get meet someone and get married too?"

"That's her daughter's situation - not mine!"

Is he funny or what? Needless to say D.C. and I laughed so hard.

____________________________________________________


Last night on the way home from soccer (yes it has begun) he brought it up again.

"Momma, I really want you to meet someone?"

For the record I have no idea what gave him the idea to talk about this...he normally is very possessive of me. And I don't discuss things like this with him - he is 9 for goodness sake! And he has figured out that EHarmony is not a store..but a web-site.

"You need to go to EHarmony - they have a profile system. We can post your picture. One that shows your eyes. But not one of you in your pajamas - that won't work."

A sure sign I am spoiled and I live in the country....


On the way to work this morning, I saw a lady on her front porch. Nothing unusual right?

Well, she was washing her laundry in a hand crank washing machine! Whew.

I figure her machine broke down and she pulled it out of attic - had to use it because there is no money for a new one right now. I figure she could sell it to an antique place and buy a new washing machine. I am curious about the story behind it all.

I am spoiled..because just this morning I was fussing because I did 3 loads of laundry before coming into work.

WHY MY CLOTHES ARE RUINED

I am one person in America who does not need use these Pens and I love them. Love the Sharpie! (Thus I use them all the time)

Why should I avoid them?

My right pocket! That's why!

I have the worst habit of sticking them in my right pocket - especially when I am working - because I need one constantly.

The top comes off. The ink bleeds through.

Tried the retractable kind the other day - forgot to retract.

So I have a few pairs of pants and a skirt with the same kind of ink stain - and to no avail it doesn't come out. And I am too cheap to throw them out. I have one shirt with a dot of Sharpie on there - the marker was laying on my desk - I leaned over and the marker attacked my shirt.

Food on my clothes....especially at lunch...

I am the worst habit of spilling food on my clothes? Why? Because I read while eating - and I am always totally into a book and I don't pay attention.

I guess I need help all the way around.

You defended our country with weapons for goodness sake......

That is what I told a new friend. She is a veteran - fought in a war. She is going through divorce.

She said she would rather fight in a war in the desert - than try to date again. And divorce is much harder than any battle she's been in.

First, I told her, it is too soon for her to even think about dating.

Second, I told her she is not the person she is because she had a husband. She is her own person-wonderfully created by God.

Third, (me being me) told her "You defended our country with weapons for goodness sake, you are made of some strong stuff."


All kidding aside, this proves, that even the strongest among us have a hard time coping with divorce and the aftermath.

ELVIS WEEK

It is Elvis week here in Memphis. It is 105 degrees. (Missouri Becky, I sure could stand some cold weather right now) Surely all those people lined up around Graceland are hot. (Nope, I've never been) Even after all this time - he still draws fans - talk about charisma.

Elvis imitators/performers are everywhere. Target, the Library, the gas station and McDonalds.

Who are you and what have you done with my mother?


This is what I thought last night when my mother hugged me and kissed me.

My mother and I love each other. She is not, nor ever has been a hugger. Not even affectionate. I have no memories of hugs. I have no doubt she loves me and my sisters. As I have written before - my mother and I have a strange strained relationship.

My mother hugged me. Wow.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE.....

(Allow me to set this up...)

At my office - we share space with a similar business. We each have our own side - sharing conference room, kitchen, restrooms and warehouse space. Though we are two different companies, all of us are friends.

So here we go.

Several of us (all women) were talking yesterday - talking about kids, clothes, just stuff, and men (of course). Another one came in - and this is what she said "Becky,you have pretty skin and eyes. You would be so pretty if we just "flashed" you up a bit. Add some earrings, make your hair more wild and more makeup - you would be WOW." I couldn't think of anything to say...I just smiled and nodded. (I just keep things simple. My shower is the longest part of my getting ready routine.)

So my question...

To be or not to be....

Offended. (What I am not WOW now?)

Complimented. (Pretty skin and eyes-I work on the skin thing)

Encouraged. (Someone thinks I have potential)

Depressed. (Just another comment to add my to therapy file.)

To be or not to be...

Hmm...

Maybe all of them.

It has begun....

Homework.


The drama.

My son.

Need I say more?

(picture tired, mad, sobbing 9 year old, swearing I hate him, because I make him study his spelling words and reading definitions)

What should take 10-15 minutes tops - takes my son 45 minutes to an hour to finish.

Whoo Hoo!

School is back in session.

THE BIRTHDAY BAG

This morning my kids gave me a birthday gift (Thanks D.C.!) - bubble bath in a gift bag when opened, plays music. With a card that plays music.

I am pretty sure the bag was more than the gift. My son wants me to give him a present in the bag - he really likes the bag.

It was a sweet moment.

I am blessed.

38

Tomorrow-August 13. I will turn 38.

Funny, 18 years ago, I pictured my life at 38 so differently than it is right now. At times I struggle with feeling like a failure. 38 seems so old to be starting over. But I have to look at this time as a learning experience and a cherished gift.

38 - wow I am the mother of a teenager and a nine year old.

38- I have grown so much since I was 30

38- As written a few posts down - I will soon be in a different category on applications.

Thanks to those who have already helped me celebrate my birthday. You my friends are the best gifts of all.

A New Pastor....

Our new pastor began his ministry today. I am so excited.

We kick off Children's Choir next week. I have a great team. They are the best. I have worked with most of them, but we have new people joining us this year. Welcome my friends.

God loves us so much. Let's give Him our best.

I dedicate this post to A.B. - one of the funniest people I know. These are her thoughts, ideas and predicaments. :) Love ya girl!

JAWS OF LIFE NEEDED AT THE SCHOOL

On the 2nd day of school last week, the school parking lot, the road in front of the school, all roads to the school, were all packed. Like the mall at Christmas time.

I walked my son in with school supplies - as we were walking in, I saw A.B. in her van. Just sitting there. She was boxed in by the car in front of her and the car behind her. She couldn't leave. Now, how is a mother supposed to enjoy kids being back at school if she is boxed in at the school? I guess they could have brought in Jaws of Life and rescued her. I guess it wasn't necessary. I am assuming she got out okay. I mean she looked and smelled clean at church this morning.

I AM JUST TRYING TO DO MY HAIR

A.B. is the mother of three boys. So counting her husband, she lives with four men. She told me last week, that all she was trying to do was do her hair - but they kept running in and out and around her. Obviously the men in her household do not put any significance into good hair days.

Girl, you've got to work on that. You have three future daughter-in-laws counting on you.

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO CAN PUT ME IN A NURSING HOME

A.B. brought it to my attention this morning, that we as the parents of teenagers, have to be nice to them. Why? Because as scary as it seems, these are the people responsible for our care when we get older. (I am shuddering now) My room at the nursing home will be decorated in pink and purple, with boa's for curtains, and army men for knick knacks.

Barbie & Skipper

I could not list favorite toys and such without bringing up Barbie and friends.

I used to play Barbie for hours. I remember playing on our front porch, and Chris B. from down the street coming up and grabbing a Barbie mid-dress and waving her in the air - yelling "naked doll - naked doll." (funny how I remember that) Of course I used to get very mad at him. And that just made him tease me more.

Don't you remember the pink vinyl case that held about 4 Barbies and accessories - the little box at the end of the case - where you would try to stuff all the clothes and shoes? I had a few of those - and then if you were really lucky-you got one of those DELUXE cases - man I was proud of that case. Of course Barbie had dishes, beds, etc. I loved playing with Barbie.

Remember the Barbie make-up/style head? Where you could fix her hair and make-up. Of course eventually the makeup would be used up or broken. And you could actually wear some of the same hair stuff! How cool!

Ken had weird hair and clothes.

I remember Skipper. Barbie was the one you wanted to be like - but Skipper was the one you related to. She had no figure, she was little, and and she wore hand-me-downs from Barbie.

And her hair was always fried. (look at above picture - the one in the middle -see her hair? Barbie and friend are all slicked back and smooth - but poor Skipper her hair is off to the side)

My Aunt Evie one time gave me some old material scraps and safety pins - my Barbies looked so good in the different styles of dress I made from them. Or so I thought.

I think some girls today don't appreciate Barbie as much - because we started buying them too early for them. (my daughter included). From experience - 5 and 6 are good ages to start the Barbie trend.

Views of the new school year....


My daughter - "I love high school. It's freakin' awesome mom." (she left me a voicemail at work)

My son - "It's okay, until you have to do work and when the teacher fusses."

Me: "I thought we wouldn't need as many supplies for a 9th grader - boy was I wrong - so far every class - Expo markers, Kleenex and hand sanitizer. Not to mention $20 fees for locker and agenda, $10 lab fees, $20 for something else. UGGHHHHHHH"
(I am waiting for fundraiser stuff now. Yuck)

The First Day of School

Yep, you want it to last all year. The kids hopping up, happy to be going to school, proud of the new back pack.

I give it a week.

The Obvious Touch of God's Hand

Last night on my way home from work, the grocery store and picking up my daughter- we were almost hit by another car.

This car, driven by a kid- with 2 passengers, pulled out in front of me - they were going so fast. Realizing what was about to happen, the driver straightened but did not slow down-ended up on the wrong side of the road-, and almost hit us head on. I swerved to miss, and thankfully we did and all was okay. We didn't hit anything. The kids raced away. Not stopping to check to see if we were okay.

I keep thinking about the what ifs. What if I had been driving faster? (I am accused of driving too slow by a couple of friends), what if I had not slowed down at that particular turn near the soccer fields? What if I had not been paying attention? What if I had been on the phone? What if...what if...what if....

I was scared, upset and then mad. Feeling these things all at once and then individually as it sunk in.

Now I am relieved and I realize the touch of God's hand. He protected us. God is good.

SELECT THE APPROPRIATE BOX

On applications, employee forms, surveys, etc, you have boxes you check

{} Male o {} Female

{} Married {}Single {} Divorced {}Separated

Income (I just look at the bottom)

Age - now that is a biggie.

With my birthday coming around the corner - I realize I will soon be marking a different category. True, I am not 40 - yet - but it is getting here fast.

I will be categorized differently. I will be in a different category. Do I need to make life changes before my category changes? Hmm.

It's a thought. Now I feel I am under all this pressure to accomplish something before my category changes.

How will I do it?

SHOPPING WITH A TEENAGE GIRL...

It is a land few venture in, only the brave and strong of heart survive.

You could see the survivors everywhere, mothers like me, ready to pull their hair out, or pull their daughter's hair out. The girls rolling their eyes, not quite understanding why we refuse to pay $20 for 3 pair of socks or $40 for a belt (something in me just refuses to pay more for the belt than I did for the pants)

I went shopping with my daughter Friday night.
(My son went along for added fun)

We may have bruises and scars but we survived.

My son said he will never be that much trouble shopping - and I don't have to worry about him shopping at the mall-because he said it is too much trouble and no fun at all. (It took him 15 minutes to pick out a backpack, shoes, socks and a shirt-all of it BROWN - his color of choice this year - he will look like a "critter" all year) I will remind him of this when he was in high school - because from what I saw boys shop in these same stores with the too loud music and counter help the same age as my own kids.

When will I learn? I should just give her the $ and let her go - but no, I have to like care about how it looks and such.

What am I?

Oh, I know, a mom.

Read down a few posts...

I really want a Mrs. Beasley doll.

I think I will try to find one.

MEN

You think women are complicated?

Please.

I am ready to give up and throw in the towel.

Starbucks, keys, Walmart and coat hangers.

This afternoon right before church, my daughter wanted to go to Starbucks - at first I resisted, then thought better, she and I have hit a couple of rough spots of late, we could use the time together.

We go in, I have my debit card.

We order.

I realize I don't have my keys.

I do the initial look everyone in the place thing. Pat down my pockets. I run out to the car - I never lock my doors - this time I did with the keys in them.

We first ask everyone in the place for a coat hanger. No one has anything. (did I mention my cell phone was in the car too?) I am trying very hard to save money - I am not calling a locksmith.

Walmart is across the street, my daughter and I walk to Walmart - we will find a coat hanger - in the process- my daughter is wearing new shoes - slip on canvas shoes - cute cute. They are giving her blisters, so she is walking funny. We make it to Walmart - find the hangers, I send her to find her self some socks. We check out - walk back over to my car at Starbucks. We both get a hanger ready (I had to buy hangers - Walmart did not have any wire hangers - go figure-they use plastic).

We work at it - my daughter finally gets in the window. I take over, and finally I get it unlocked. She and I are laughing and high-fiving each other-whooping and hollering. We look up and the guys working at Starbucks are laughing at us.

What did I learn?
1. To make sure I have my keys. Duh
2. Teenage boys at Starbucks are absolutely worthless when it comes to stuff like this - I shudder at the thought of my daughter dating one of them.
3. The typical guy's guy was no where to be found at Starbucks. Not even a redneck guy who duct tapes everything.
4. My daughter learned how to do something. And it was done without a guy. So there.
5. I did not panic - because about 4 years ago I would have been a wreck.
6. We made it to church - late -but still heard a good sermon
7. I have a good story to tell.
8. I will not lock my doors in my home town.

Anniversary.

Today my parents would have been married 57 years. My dad passed right before their 52nd anniversary.

They did something right, or both (if not one) were incredibly patient and giving.

When I started my....you know.....monthly cycle

Ugh.

Yuck.

Another moment that shaped me.

Another moment between mother and daughter that should be special, tender, a Hallmark commercial.

Again, I say, far be it for us to do anything normal.

I was in 9th grade when it finally happened - I was beginning to wonder if it would ever would (now I want it to stop-but that's another blog).

And those of you who have known me since high school, or know the layout of our town, picture the store by the post office and drug store-the one that has since moved and changed ownership.

I started my period in school - close to the end of day. So she takes me to the little grocery store -where several boys from school work. She buys me a HUGE bag of generic pads - the bag was yellow and had huge black letters on it. I wanted to stay in the car- she would not have it- I had to go in. I had to go through the check out line with her, a gallon of milk, coffee, and this huge value size yellow bag of pads. And a boy from school checked us out.


I used to think I was being overly dramatic - but it was horrible.

Again, I have yet to recover.

MY FIRST BRA

I have to tell you about one of the most life changing and humiliating moments in my life. One that contributed to the neurotic person I am. :)

Okay girls, you know the time...we all had to face it....the first bra. Normally a sweet time, a precious time - a time of bonding between mother and daughter.

Well, far be it for me and my mother to do anything normal.

Time for shopping for my first bra - and somewhere in my 11-year old brain-I had this image of trying on pretty lacy bras, one with a flower or a bow.

Oh, no.

First of all, my mother takes me to SEARS OUTLET store. UGH.

We find the bras. I am looking for my "ideal" bra. Not to be found in SEARS OUTLET (and for the record - back then everything had a funny smell in SEARS OUTLET-these stores were the discount stores for Sears) I am upset, my mother does not give in to my tears or my pout.

She finds a bra - plain and in my opinion ugly.

Here is the part you have been waiting for.....

She makes me try it on in the store, over my clothes. Her theory no one will notice. I did.

And I have yet to recover.

RED, WHITE AND BLUE BICYCLE

The year was 1976 the 200th birthday of our nation. It was the summer. It was my birthday.

My parents were separated -working through some stuff.

For my birthday my dad bought me a bicycle. It was red,white and blue. I was so excited.

I couldn't wait to ride it.

First ride, I ran right into a tree.

Second time, I almost made it up the street.

Third time, I zipped past Chris B's house. (he always picked on me)

Fourth time, I made it up and down the street, finished in time for the ice cream man to come and me eat my Popsicle sitting on the curb, the juice falling onto my bruised knees. Boy that was a good day.

Growing up with older parents and siblings, I was always older mentally and socially than other kids my age. I don't have a whole lot of memories of childhood - but for whatever reason, this toy idea of mine has triggered them.

I'm glad. I was starting to worry about myself.

Please be in prayer for my brother-in-law. Today he has surgery - a defibrillator for his heart.

I am headed to the hospital now.

Thank you in advance for praying!

I finally have one up on my ex husband....

He called the other day to tell me - that while kids were at his home in Knoxville last month - our daughter called her friend in California 25 times from their home phone - no long distance plan.

Well, I can beat that.....

We received our phone bill yesterday...our daughter called her friend in California 81 times.

When you visit me in jail, remember to bring chocolates and cigarettes so I can buy my protection.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Maybe.

I will think about it.

DONNY AND MARIE

Growing up my Donny and Marie Dolls were two of my favorites. I had the sound stage too. I loved it! The lights worked. They both had purple outfits on (I tried finding a decent picture - but couldn't so this picture from their show will have to do.) Of course Barbie and the gang were jealous of Marie - she had the best clothes.



I loved everything Donny and Marie. Watched the show every week, had every ALBUM (yes ALBUM) thanks mainly to my older sister - but I treasured them. I always loved the clip of the Andy Williams show when they were on it. I was a Donny & Marie junkie. :)



And yes when they came back around 1999/2000 with their own talk show, I watched it.

This is going to be fun...old toys and old favorite television shows.

I already have an idea for the next one!

MY FAVORITE DOLL GROWING UP

Remember this doll? I loved this doll. I got her one Christmas along with a luggage set. She was my absolute favorite - she used to sit in one of the chairs of my little wooden kitchen set with the red burners - and we would drink cups of tea. (I started early on the tea thing!)

Recognize her? She is Mrs. Beasley! I loved her so! She was my favorite, right along with a pink and white checkered dog, I named Charlie. I still have him - but I don't have her. I would love to have her!

I think I will start writing about some of my favorite toys and such from my youth - that would be fun.

Girl Talk

Last night I had one of the best conversations ever with my friend D.C.

Don't you love girl talk?

You talk about anything and everything! No holes barred.

We talked about men (or lack there of), kids, work, money, life, sex (or lack there of), we talked about everything! It was so much fun.

And then it got me to thinking...this is what I know about friendship between women.

We can go into the ladies restroom together, do our business, and somehow, someone has the urge to show off her new bra & underwear to her friends. (Yes this has happened) And no one things anything of it.

If you do not know a woman you meet in the restroom chances are you will both leave friends. I've held the stall door closed for a stranger - and she for me. If there is a diaper changing station - you may have borrowed or loaned diapers and wipes. Sometimes there are women changing clothes - and that opens up a whole other conversation-on how hard some things are to get on.

(The previous two paragraphs may explain why our longs are longer!)

Most of your women friends understand your craving for chocolate. No explanation required.

Most of your women friends understand your need to highlight your hair. DUH.

Most of your women friends will be mad at the man who broke your heart for a lot longer than you will be mad.

Most women understand these two words: Matthew McConaughey

Most women understand the rush to clean your house when your mother is coming over.

Most women understand why you hate the dressing room mirrors.

And I could keep going....

I love girl talk.