Well, I found it, bought it and watched it...

As many of you know, thanks to Amazon, I found and bought, "When Harry Met Sally."

Tonight I watched it.

What was I thinking? I should have waited to watch it with someone. Nope, not me, I like to torture myself, I wait until everyone in my house is in bed, and I watch it. I have been crying for about 40 minutes..it is a movie...it is a movie.

Where did these tears and this pain come from?

It is a movie. Good grief.

Update...

My brother-in-law is home after 1 week in the hospital. He has a serious heart problem and has a long way to go. Please continue to pray for him and my sister.

Twirling through my mind.....

The Dollar Store

I am unsure of what my friends across the ocean call them, but yesterday I went to the dollar store - the name should explain it all. I spent $32 at the dollar store! Mind you I came away with the necessities such as paper products, toothpaste, shampoo, cleaning supplies, etc. But it was $32 - how is that possible?

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwww Bras

My son who will be nine one week from today - lives with three women. ( my daughter and mother-plus me), and bless his heart he does really well - he is sympathetic toward women, pretty good at holding doors open, picking flowers, etc. But he cannot stand to see bras in laundry, in the bathroom, etc, -we all have to be careful and quick in the way we put them up. I'm wondering if this will carry over into adult hood. Probably not. (I say this because he and one other boy are the only two boys who will watch the cheerleaders at halftime at his football games-who needs to listen to the coach?)

Football dads

They really take this stuff seriously. It is too funny to watch. Relax guys - have fun. (I on the other had was anxious for it to end - I was so tired)

Snooze button....

I bet I hit mine about 6 times a morning - even though I am usually awake before the alarm - something about the power of it. (ha!) And not that I am sleeping - because I am not - I bet I crash soon.

Dreams

Why are some dreams so real, you can actually smell, taste, feel everything in the dream. Does that even make sense?

Predictable

I really am predictable. Even the restaurants around my work-they know what I am going to order. People who don't know me - know me. I have to snap out of it.

Movie

You have to watch Night at the Museum. It is a really good movie. Safe for kids to watch. Funny.

He enjoys the History Channel and the Discover Channel. Armageddon is one of his favorite movies. He is big University of Memphis fan-through good times and bad. He likes popcorn and used to enjoy Butterfinger candy bars. He thoroughly enjoys Thanksgiving - looks forward to the Turkey. His dogs love him, they curl up right beside him on the couch. He is predictable at times - but you take comfort in the fact. He does not have much to say, but his words count. He is patient and steadfast. He is a truck driver, he loves to fish. Looks forward to visiting the beaches of Florida.

I have just described my brother-in-law. He is very sick right now. He really is one of the good guys.

UPDATE

Hi everyone - I have not posted in a couple of days.

Family emergency. My brother-in-law is in the hospital. Please be in prayer for him and my sister.

I will keep you updated!

Thanks so much.

Love,

Becky

Because I am tired and somewhat in a bad mood...


No, no, don't worry, who needs child support?

Not this household.

Am I the only one?

Amy I the only mother who nevers sees her house on a weekend? Just her mattress after the day is done?

I am very very tired.

SATURDAY GAMES

Both teams won this weekend. Both of mine played hard. And did a great job.

My daughter played against a team that had most of her church friends on it - so she played aggressively. My son's middle name should be aggressive.

Okay Marmie, I am at this computer with a cup of tea, so pour yourself a cup and enjoy along with me.

It has been a stressful day. Work was hard and demanding. And to come home and no one has done the first thing they were supposed to do.

Tonight I need someone for me, no let me rephrase that, I want someone for me. God knows what I need. But it sure would nice to be held-if not for just a few minutes.

Being a good friend...

I am trying to remind myself that being a good friend sometimes means to be quiet and just be there.

Thoughts of a mom.....

If you are wondering...

Where all the missing hairbrushes are, please feel free to check my daughter's second drawer, my son's "treasure" box, the toy box and the shoe box in the utility room. Of course! I should have known.

How to fold- hang & put up laundry like a 14 year old.....

The key to efficient handling of the laundry.....is to wait until you hear your mother's car in the driveway..and stuff everything of your mother's into your brothers drawer (they will never notice the ladies undergarments in his t-shirt drawer), put your brother's socks under the bed, and ball up & throw your laundry into the back of your closet behind your shoe box. Hope this helps.

It is okay.....

To use your mother's make-up and take it to school....who needs to cover up wrinkles and such?
To place your mouth guard on the corner of a picture...that is hanging up!
To eat yogurt at the computer and place the empty container in the drawer.
To not brush your teeth...ever. Who needs teeth?

I can't even begin to understand what happened at Virgina Tech today. My heart aches.

My prayers are with the families of those lost and those recovering.

Move over Jerry Rice...

During football practice today, my son caught a pass that would remind you of a pass between Montanna and Rice, in the last 2 minutes of the game with the score tied. Wow.

And I always thought he was build like a linebacker.

In regard to below post...

Shaving cream in the scents of raspberry and lavender...has to be one of the best inventions ever.

It is not a necessity..because soap and water will work, but there is something about that slender purple or pink can of shaving cream.

Men, do you realize?

How much stuff a woman puts on her face and body each day? All to look and feel good about herself? And for some, if she is single, hopefully to attract someone.

I have really put some thought into this..

We wash our body, sometimes with both soap and body wash, if we shave our legs with shaving cream - that is product #3. Lotion after the bath, deodorant, perfume, cleanser for the face, toner for the face, moisturizer for the face, layers of make up,more lotion, hair spray and/or gel on hair that has been washed and conditioned.

Don't' forget if we paint our finger and toenails.

All to look and smell halfway decent. Hope you appreciate it. Because I am really beginning to think it is not worth it.

GRANDMOTHERS...GONE WILD

I told my friend I would have a blast tonight writing this..and it is hard because I am laughing so hard.

I am going to let the title for this writing speak for itself.

Hey my friend, just think...if grandmothers have changed that much...just think where we will be when we become grandmothers 30 (ha!) years from now.

OUR GOLDFISH

We have a Goldfish. He has lived on the same corner, in the same tank for THREE years.

He is acting strange tonight. We are curious to see what is going on.

By the way....he is never lazy...he is always moving the gravel.

Do fish ever sleep?

The search continues...

I visited three more stores and two pawn shops (there is some really neat stuff in pawn shops-do you know someone somewhere actually pawned a Swifter Jet Mop?) today for a copy of When Harry Met Sally. I refuse to give up.

Only one employee of the above understood my need to watch this movie, she even looked in the back-and took my number to call me if she found it. I am sure we will become best friends.
I am sure she doesn't know what she is getting herself into.

(But I have watched movies all day as planned-Nell, Steel Magnolia's, and others!-and get this I slept to almost 10:00 this morning!)

"My mother is not sexy!"

That is a comment from my son.

Here is how it started....last night...movie night...I get all comfy in my pj's -which consisted of my favorite men's flannel shirt and a pair of shorts. (Just put me on the cover of Cosmo)

My mother looks at me..and said somewhat sarcastically...."well, Becky you just look too sexy.."

My son quick to come to my defense...."My mother is not sexy, what a thing to say!"

I am still laughing.

A cup of tea...

Nothing like a cup of tea to help you clear your mind of all that is stressful. Even if it just lasts for just a few minutes...a cup of tea is a gift wrapped in a ceramic mug.

My kids are mad...

It is raining. My kids are mad. Tonight's football was cancelled. Looks like tomorrow's soccer and football will be cancelled.

I am glad..I plan to wear pj's all day and watch movies and read. A whole day of rest. (hopefully I am not counting chickens before they hatch - my little family has a hard time of letting me rest-but I told them all tonight-so maybe they'll let me-you'll find me under the pink and white quilt)

My kids are mad at me because I am glad.

Oh well, they can get glad in the same pants they got mad in. Me? I plan to be in my pj's...I have 4 books from the library...and Kevin Costner's The Bodyguard is calling me. (does he look good in this movie or what?)

A SIGN I NEED THERAPY.....

Tonight when I got off work - I was restless - but ever so tired - it has been a long hard week. But I knew being the mood I was in, I didn't need to go home, but thought curling up and watching movie from the couch would be fun.

I wanted to watch a movie, not just any movie, I wanted to watch When Harry Met Sally. It was in my head and that was that. Or so I thought.

I couldn't find anywhere. And I want to own a copy.

Well, heck, I couldn't find it. I went to 6 stores - before I gave up. Even Walmart didn't have it - but the clerk did tell me - that it is listed as an upcoming movie for a Mother's Day display.

(now tell me am I the only person who would do something so silly...no make that stupid?)

I want this movie.

This has to be a sure sign I need therapy. I am sure my friends and any Dr will have a field day with this obsession - but I don't want to think about that right now. :)

(I did end up picking up Facing the Giants - read below post!)

FACING THE GIANTS

Everyone needs to watch this movie. It is great. My whole little family watched it together...in the same room! Wow. That never happens.

We were covered in blankets and enjoyed a movie together.

I read the credits and saw meals for the movie were provided by Sunday School Classes. Normally you would expect fancy restaurants and such-how cool is tha?! And the movie being made in the South - I am guessing they had home grown tomatoes, a pot Roast to die for, Pecan pie, and sweet tea with plenty of ice.

Watch the movie tonight!

(hey and my son said I sound like some of the ladies in this movie - what is he trying to say? That I have an accent? What accent?)

Oops.

I had some comments, I meant to click on publish..I think I clicked reject or whatever it says..so if your comment is not here..please do so again!

Field Trips

My kids will be going on field trips soon.

I am chaperoning both - it will be interesting. One trip hanging out with 8th graders - the other hanging out with 2nd graders.


In some instances I am "cool" mom, my daughter wanted me go with her, though I am sure there will be rules that I must follow about not embarassing her, etc. (Who me?)

My son still halfway likes me - so that will be fun. I wonder if I will drink a juice box.

I can drive my own car though - so that will be cool.

To one of my friends....

J.H. I love you! Hang in there.

I think you are really being called to Arkansas!

You are an awesome lady!

You inspire me.

Love,

Becky

My son hates to brush his teeth.

Hates it with a passion. The drama is funny to watch. I bet he spits and rinses 20 times.

It drives me crazy in the mornings when we are in a hurry to get ready.

I told him his teeth were going to fall out..he is fine with that..he won't have to brush.

My daughter has a boyfriend...

My daughter has a boyfriend, or as they call it they are "going out". They talk on the phone all the time - that is what they consider "going out" - because she is certainly too young to date.

After all the phone calls, emails, myspace stuff - she didn't know his last name.

How funny.

I sense a song in this.

I have a boyfriend...but I don't know his last name. Hey if you are a songwriter - send me half the profits when this song hits the air.


(Side note: they were both mortified to learn that his mother and I are now in the same Sunday School class-funny funny)

AH-HA MOMENT

I had an AH-HA moment last night. More like an "it's an about time" moment.

Most of you know I am single. Married 11 years to my ex. I have been separated/divorced about 9 years.

Since my separation/divorce, I have not dated anyone. And I am telling the absolute truth when I say I have never been kissed or kissed (other than hugs of affection or teaasing friends) anyone other than than my ex (I say this because people find it hard to believe - but believe it or not there are others out there just like me) Not because I am holding onto him, but because I have certain beliefs. And no, I do not think I am better than anyone else - because I know people who are so much sweeter and nicer than me- it is just who I am. ( I mess up all the time, and have a list of flaws that could reach the moon and back)

And this is where my AH-HA moment begins.

I am blessed to have my girlfriends - I love them all so much. And you know who you are!

I also have guy friends. (I have written about them before) I have one guy friend whom I have known for over 20 years - we can talk about anything with comfort -and we both have admitted at one time or the other there have been feelings there. (You can research all the blogs -time is important here) My guy friends range from co-workers, former co-workers, church friends, friends from my marriage, etc, etc.

Well, I tease my long time friend-to just don't worry about all the trouble and drama in his life, he needs to work on "find Becky a fellow campaign", after all who knows me better? I'll even type up the application. :)

And this is what he said to me yesterday...

He would have a hard time finding anyone for me that would meet up to my standards. There are no men out there who would follow or even want to follow them. My ex husband told me the same thing a few years ago - but it kind of hurt coming from my friend - actually it completely broke my heart. (I felt old fashioned and prudish)

Here are my 'standards'

1) Must be a Christian
2) Must understand that I will not be intimate outside of marriage
3) Keeping 1 and 2 in mind - must go to church
4) Must have a job - doesn't have to be a millionaire - just should be working - doing something
5) Must want to date me even after we are married for a length of time - my friend disagrees with this - says after awhile - it is silly to try to date.
6) Must understand that I don't want a father for my kids - they have a dad - how be it not a consistent relationship - but he should be a role model
7) Must understand that my mother is part of my "package"

No, I am not asking for anyone who is "perfect" - I am a realist-but I know this guy is out there somewhere. And I know I should be able to meet the standards of the man God has for me. I have to work on my temper, my emotions, I am slightly, okay, majorly OCD on somethings. (and all my friends best not be snickering at that one), I am a worrier, I have to be in control and I could keep going.

And that is why I am still single, I am not where I should be in my own life. (My AH HA moment)

It is all in God's timing. Not mine.

So are the "standards" impossible to meet? I don't think so, they are the "standards" I know God wants me to hold onto - and not give up on. And so I won't.

God continues to protect me from bad relationships - one story. About a year ago - this guy doing work in our office - was flirting with me - hinted on asking me out - I never took the hint, etc. I am out and about this past weekend - he is there with HIS WIFE. His eyes were as big as saucers-I just smiled and went on my way. Another story, I was in the "talking" stages with a guy from church - probably could have gone somewhere - but it did not - thank goodness. He is not doing anything right in his life right now. Thank God for that protection.

Now, back to my long time friendship, I have to deal with those past feelings and some current feelings-hence the "find Becky a fellow campaign." And to my friend, be true to yourself - you follow your heart - that is my advice. You know what is best for you. Hang in there.

Thanks to everyone for letting me share this with you. Please pray for me as I deal with so many things in my heart and mind. God has not deserted me, He has not strayed. His dreams and plans for my life are so much bigger than mine. I am just mad at myself - that it took a night of tears, a box of kleenex, a few cups of tea and a hot shower to remember it.

Welcome to my emotional roller coaster....no tickets required.

(I have checked and read all of my favorite blogs -and everyone is in a funk or just very down at the moment..I guess I am too)

Why is it out of the blue this afternoon, I get so depressed that I am near tears, my throat feels so thick and my heart hurts?

(and no it isn't that time of month)

It started out a normal day - I am playing catch up at work for missing last week. All I can say, it has been tough and overwhelming- but it was productive. And I have to be honest and admit, I am pleased with where I ended my day.

But around 2:30 or so - it (it being this funk) hit me. Was it because I heard from a voice from my past? Was it because I rehashed my past with someone today? Is it because I want my own home? Or is because I am tired? Because my mother is acting...77? (what is the standard behavior of a 77 year old anyway?) Is it because my heart is holding on for something my head know won't happen?

Up and down, up and down. This roller coaster ride is tough. I guess I should learn to enjoy the moments the brakes are on and look forward to the moments when I am at the peak.

But right now my emotions are in fast drop to nowhere. I need my friend to call soon.

Coming of age....

I wrote this after Christmas in December 2006.

Made in China and found at Walmart. My son is on the line of believing and not believing in Santa. Hmmmm. I knew it was coming, somewhat hoped for it-just for the fact it would make things easier. He received a scooter from Santa this year, unfortunately he found a "Made in China" label on it. Santa left a lay-a-way sticker from Walmart on the GI Joe Plane. What was he thinking? I told him that Santa uses different resources as not to stretch his elves too thin. I don't think he bought it.


Well, he knows. He knows about the Easter Bunny, Santa and the tooth fairy. You would think I would feel some sadness over it, but I don't. He asked me today, and I asked him "Well, what do you think?" He said "I think you are all of them." Then he did the sweetest thing, he climbed into my lap,he hugged me and kissed me bunches and said "Momma, thank you, you didn't have to buy me all that stuff, you did that for me? How did you do that?"

I have his word that he won't discuss it or talk about it outside this house, so others will enjoy their time with Santa and friends.

Coming of age...he will be nine in a few weeks. And my daughter will be driving soon.

Yet another holiday being single...

Actually this one wasn't too bad. The loneliness is just now sinking in and I don't think I can "blame" the holiday. I feel selfish to feel this way - on this most Holy of days.

I am going to need to find a balance between my mom duties and my off time. My few friends who are not fortunate enough to have kids (smile) - I know have a hard time understanding my crazy schedule. (you should see my purse calendar) And I miss my time with them. And I promise my dear friends, after the first weekend in June - my schedule will clear up.

But back to balance and off time. I need some adult time soon! I will work on that.

Now back to being single...

I am lonely tonight...I need someone for me....if only for a few minutes.

Thank you Disney

You know when I became a parent, I bought into it. I remember promotions...saying "This is your last chance to own this movie...."

Well, heck fire, they lied to me.

I remember rushing out to buy "PETER PAN" about 8 or so years ago. Now my son is watching "CARS" and a promo came on and this is what it said, "THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO OWN ONE OF THE MOST LOVED MOVIES OF ALL TIME...PETER PAN..GRAB IT NOW...BLAH BLAH..." (naturally I am paraphrasing)

So now my VHS copy of Peter Pan is not good enough? My grandchildren won't enjoy a VHS copy? And yes I know I have written about VHS vs DVD before, but what am I do with all these VHS tapes? Am I a relic at 37?

And yes I still admit Disney still knows how to do a movie - I am a kid in so many ways. Give me a good, stomach hurting, funny cartoon any day of the week. The animation keeps getting better and better.

Hey since I am on this tirade of sorts, just in case anyone within the Disney company reads this.....I know the Disney Parks offer a lot - but a lot of us folk can't afford the prices. Help us!

His arms are hurting....

My son's arms are hurting. He went to a birthday party - they skated - his arms are hurting because he fell all the time and he had to catch himself.

How funny.

I HOPE EVERYONE READING THIS WILL LEARN A LITTLE OF MY HEART TODAY.

I am far from perfect, I screw up all the time. But I do know this, Jesus loved me so much, He died for me. He loved you so much, He died for you. He continues to love us.

Please don't leave this Easter Holiday without knowing that love. Without knowing you will be in heaven one day.

To all my friends..

HAPPY EASTER

Love always,

Becky

When Harry Met Sally

You've Got Mail

That Indian Summer



I think by taking bits and pieces from these movies I can adequately sum up my life right now. I am just not at the happy ending part.

Saturday Exhaustion...ummm fun.

It is Saturday, and I am exhausted.

We were up and at 'em early this morning. Church egg hunt - it was fun. We had a lot of kids there. My son had fun - found lots of eggs. My daughter worked hard - she did a good job.

After egg hunt- my son went to a birthday party. While he was at party - I came home and manged to iron clothes for church and get ready for the Easter Bunny.

After picking him up - we came home and dyed Easter Eggs. Why we do this, I don't know - but hey we will eat egg salad for a day or so.

I am home, tired but restless.

My heart and mind are wandering to and fro.

FREEDOM

It is hard to explain to you what that word means to me today.

Today it means $33,600.00

I am finished paying every debt from my marriage. I have not seen a normal - "full size" pay check in 7 years.

I am through. I can move forward.

This is a huge day in my life.

I wish I could put it into words. But I don't have them. My tears will have to be enough.

I LOOK PRETTY TODAY

(me today - though I am a girl and have blond hair)

(And you should be proud..I have added my very first picture to my blog)


I am still sick. Much worse than a cold. I feel horrible.
Okay, everyone say, awwwwww, poor Becky.



I am in my "sick" clothes or if I were married they would be my
"don't even think about touching me" clothes.



Black pants, blue flannel shirt, white socks.
I have been alternating between the couch and the bed.



And my son being 8 and a boy, and on spring break, is restless and driving me insane.

Spring Cold and Pity Party

Nothing like a Spring Cold to bring on a Pity Party.

Good grief.

I feel and look yucky.

I know it will go away - and I will feel better soon.

But the pity party? Not so sure about that one - oh, I know this is a "moment" but it seems to be a moment that keeps coming back to me. I've got to do something about it.

In the meantime. Someone pass me a tissue and pour me a cup of tea.

Driving.


I did something yesterday that I haven't done in a long time. I drove around - no destination in mind. I just drove the back roads and enjoyed the scenery. Everything is so fresh and green. Soon you will be able to smell the honeysuckle.

Something about driving around - it clears your head and helps you focus. I was tired -I had been cleaning a house - but it felt so good to drive with the windows down - listening to music.

A small pleasure - but it sure made me feel better.

Kids Choice Awards...

My son is watching the Kids Choice Awards.

He has laughed the whole time.

What is it about slime and snot?

When did I?

When did I become the parent and my mother the child?

And because my mother and I have an odd relationship.

Why does it hurt?

Mama Lion or Mama Bear..

You can do many things to me, and I will let them slide by.

But you hurt one of my kids and the mama lion/bear comes out in me.

My daugther cried yesterday about her dad. She is hurt.

She is hurt and she cried.

That I will not let slide by. She may be 14 and growing fast, but she is still a kid.