Yes, I know, selfish.
Sigh
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Emotions
Work has been stressful. Dental work painful. Caring for mom - it really is a long good bye. Kids growing up.
Last Saturday after one of the hardest work weeks of my life, I slept literally 16 hours. Steve said, I never moved when I was on the couch sleeping. I was by mom. She was comfy, dry, and safe. Water and snacks close by. I set alarms for meals, bathroom breaks and interaction. I slept so much the week I was home with my dental work that I didn't think I could sleep anymore - but I was wrong. I guess everything caught up with me.
Today was a very painful mouth day. Boy did I hurt. My gums were so swollen. I have rinsed with warm salt water several times. They told me it would take awhile and they were not kidding. I guess having every tooth, root, remnant pulled can take its' toll. Plus I have a healed hairline fracture from a hit I took from mom at some point on my right jaw. That jaw to me looks funny. What I have in my mouth is temporary..permanents are to come in 6 months or so. Or when I can raise up about $2,000. :/ When I make my living talking...it is hard when I sound like a mush mouth. I have been called, Vickie, Mickey, Betsy, you name it.
Hopefully I will lose some weight. I should. I can't eat that much! :)
Alzheimer's a daily constant in my life. It really is a long good-bye. Ups and downs. Twists and turns. I can change a depends and clean up a poop explosion without thinking twice. I can understand her chatter better than anyone. And she still says I love you.
Kids growing up. I missed so much when I was single mom. And now they are getting older. Don't get me wrong. We spent time together, read together, heck for six years before I remarried we shared one room - that is why we are close....but now I long for a vacation...something.
Last Saturday after one of the hardest work weeks of my life, I slept literally 16 hours. Steve said, I never moved when I was on the couch sleeping. I was by mom. She was comfy, dry, and safe. Water and snacks close by. I set alarms for meals, bathroom breaks and interaction. I slept so much the week I was home with my dental work that I didn't think I could sleep anymore - but I was wrong. I guess everything caught up with me.
Today was a very painful mouth day. Boy did I hurt. My gums were so swollen. I have rinsed with warm salt water several times. They told me it would take awhile and they were not kidding. I guess having every tooth, root, remnant pulled can take its' toll. Plus I have a healed hairline fracture from a hit I took from mom at some point on my right jaw. That jaw to me looks funny. What I have in my mouth is temporary..permanents are to come in 6 months or so. Or when I can raise up about $2,000. :/ When I make my living talking...it is hard when I sound like a mush mouth. I have been called, Vickie, Mickey, Betsy, you name it.
Hopefully I will lose some weight. I should. I can't eat that much! :)
Alzheimer's a daily constant in my life. It really is a long good-bye. Ups and downs. Twists and turns. I can change a depends and clean up a poop explosion without thinking twice. I can understand her chatter better than anyone. And she still says I love you.
Kids growing up. I missed so much when I was single mom. And now they are getting older. Don't get me wrong. We spent time together, read together, heck for six years before I remarried we shared one room - that is why we are close....but now I long for a vacation...something.
Prayer
My coworker Christina's son has cancer. Hodgkin's lymphoma. Possibly stage 4. Tomorrow is a key day for tests, etc. his name is Doug and is 22. But he will start with chemo the tests will indicate further treatment.
A friend's sister has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Masectectomy and chemo is her plan.
Please be in prayer for them and their families.
I'm trying to decide what I hate more Alzheimers or cancer.
Another one of those it could only happen to me stories....
On Sunday, I decided to grocery shop. I went to the store - made it to check out. No debit card to be found. Looked everywhere. I had to leave, Sam was watching mom and he had to get to work. I get home...find it...I get out with mom. The store had already put all my stuff away. (I called) I stop to get gas (broke my own rule and paid at pump) and reach the store. I had to push mom in wheelchair and pull cart. Hard to do. Not impossible. I finish shopping. I'm so flustered. Check out. Card denied. Try again. Card denied. Money is there I'm telling clerk and myself. I look online from my phone. Gas pump had hold on funds. So, I put some stuff back to get total down and a woman behind me calls my name. I know her from school, church and football. She pays difference of $46 dollars and says do not worry about paying her back. I was near tears, mom was antsy, I was embarrassed- but I knew money was there!. I forgot completely about all the stuff I put back. I get home, there is a bag on porch with everything I put back. I bawled like a baby. And because I was so flustered shopping with mom..I ended up purchasing two of a lot of things. That explained my extremely high total! Arrrghhh Here is mom after our trip. I felt the same. God provided. However He must think I'm certifiable! 
And mom has this thing about pulling her pants above knees. Sigh.
New Smile and specs....
I'm still swollen...but May 11th I had dental work done. Taking some serious getting used to. Still can't eat solid foods.
And picked up glasses on Monday. I smike funny! Just feels weird.
11th grade here he comes....
Like every parent I wonder where the time went...last day of 10th grade. Finished with a solid B average.
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