Hovering Ink Pen

When I was signing the papers for hospice, I had to check or fill out many boxes, health history of mom, did she drink, did she smoke, favorite foods, religious preferences, were final arrangements made, etc.  in the middle of the packet was the page I've decided to call the "hovering ink pen page." 

I chose no feeding tube, no extreme measures and DNR. I looked at this page for an hour before deciding. I remembered the extreme pain and agony my dad was in when mom chose just the opposite for him, it wasn't what he wanted, but I understand why she did it. I am glad I made these decisions along with final arrangements before I need to  make them..still hard...but I imagine a lot easier. 

I still do not like that page.  My copy I have folded up and out of sight.

It is hurting me that no family members outside this household have asked any questions or called. I guess eventually I won't hurt anymore to the lack of caring. Heck. I doubt it. I'm in a lonely spot. 

In my free time...

I want to make this....

Forget me not...

Relaxing Day.

If you know me, you know I don't sleep. 

Mom sleeps so it is not her.  I now may do a load of laundry at 4:00 am or dust! 

But today I crashed. Mom rested all day too.  

Here is my little snoozer.

Thoughts and funnies

 

A couple of pics

I took this pic when Steve and I were driving home from a day out.

And this pic of a rainbow about two weeks ago.

Dentist and Doctors

May 11th I begin dental makeover and rebuild. Basically all in one day. I'm nervous, scared, excited but ready. I will be off all week. 

I've been diagnosed with osteoarthritis and fibroid myalgia. But one doc seems to think there is a possibility of MS. I will be seeing a neurologist soon. However,the meds for the first two are working and I firmly believe there is no MS. But I want to get dental taken care of first. 

Please pray. 

Adjusting to growing up

I sincerely believe no one prays harder than a mom when her child starts to drive. I'm not as bad as I was with Tori. But he is my baby! I am enjoying not rushing to pick him up after work at school for football and tutoring.  Sam will text me when he arrives and leaves destination points. 

Sam is adjusting to working at McDonalds. He wants to look for another. Here he is filling out new employee paperwork. Tori took this picture. But this first week has been hard with school and such. 

I know...

I'm behind reading and posting...I promise I will catch up. 

Kindness

HOSPICE

Today I signed mom up for hospice.  Hospice for Alzheimer's patients is totally different when you compare to those with other illnesses.  (remember some folks have hospice care when they are sick and then live for years)  I am not naïve, we are entering final stages.  I want to be prepared, as much as one can be prepared I guess.  It could be two years, two months, or two days. The same with all of us. I rest knowing mom knows Jesus. 

We will have a RN come out twice a week and evaluate mom. They will work with our home health agency and doctor. 

It happened so fast, yesterday, I took mom to the doctor to be approved just to be evaluated.  She was totally with it, I just knew we would not be approved.  She knew my name.  She talked in complete sentences.  She was so cute and funny.  Here she is being sassy. 

A major burden has been lifted. Decisions made, papers signed. 

Pray for the social worker...she will be exhausted dealing with me.