I can't seem to stop thinking....

About mom and the changes that have happened in 1 week - 7 days.  A lot can happen in 7 days,

She sleeps more now.
She doesn't want to be alone - even going to the bathroom.
She folds napkins and papertowels twice as much now - and no telling where we will find them.
She tries to carry on a conversation - but words fail her.
She is walking.
She is holding her head up.
She will dust if she wants to. 
She seems more timid.  She is afraid of different things - she doesn't want to walk into a room by herself.
She is still eating and drinking. But believe it or not doesn't seem that interested in sweets - and she loves sweets.
She needs help dressing.  But can tie her shoes.
She enjoyed having her nails painted - I just put a clear coat on there - and she is so proud.  She had me do mine too. 
She knows that my name is Becky.  I am not too sure if she knows I am her daughter. 
She still wants to wear the same beige sweater.
She likes me to make a big deal about feeding Noel - her Christmas Beta Fish.
She likes me to pray with her and tuck her in every night.



I am trying to imagine if "well" mom is in there - if she can see what is going on - but cannot speak.  I can only imagine the inner turmoil, pain and confusion.

I have said it dozens of times - I hate this disease.  I don't understand it.  I can't consider it "pure joy:" as James tells us - I just don't know what we are supposed to learn from it