Obviously this has been a rough week. I am so tired. I am very tired mentally and emotionally.

You know how you reach that breaking point? My boss sometimes will call it “hitting the wall.” You want to realize you are near the wall before you hit the wall.

Well, it is obvious I don’t listen very well. I have hit the wall.

Heck, I know I have already said it but I am so lonely. I am crying now as I write this.
I want someone for me. Someone who loves me. Because he wants to, not because he has too. I really don’t think I can do this anymore. I am a basket case. I can usually hide behind laughter and jokes, but not tonight. It hurts so much. And truth be known, I don’t even know what “it” is.

Is it financial? A small part I am sure. Not having my own home, heck not even having my own room? A big part-no, make that a huge part. Is it trying to get over heartbreak? Yep. Wanting something that is not possible? Most definitely. Being Single. Yep.
I guess it is a potpourri of things.

I just don’t know how to move on, to let go. And I am sure an answer is out there, I just don’t see it.

Last week in Sunday School our teacher said something that I really just remembered. “You are not guaranteed happiness and laughter all the time. But you are guaranteed joy through Jesus.” I think God just spoke to me. I am looking for my joy in wrong places and things.