Matters of the Heart...part 2
It still hurts beyond words. And as I tend to do, I obsess and worry. Over analyze.
I wonder why God has me at this point in my life, with these feelings I have. I read on a church sign (don't you love those - that's another blog - but they can be fun and interesting) "Trials are God's School of Faith." I am unsure of what I am going through can be called a trial - but it is emotionally, spiritually and mentally exhausting.
I look at myself in the mirror - trying to see what others may see or hear what they may hear. What is wrong with me? I know I am not perfect - but I am somewhat likable. I am for the most part funny, intelligent and informed.
I know God has a plan - and I am here at this point, this stage for a reason. That's my head talking...my heart has to catch up.
3 comments:
I relate to what you're going through. Maybe not the exact feelings, but the general situation of having thoughts and feelings that seem to persist against my will.
Lately something seems to be helping: nothing more than learning to relax again. I had literally forgotten how to do it, for years. I find that the better I get at it, the more my obsessing just dissolves. I start to feel like I don't have to solve all my complicated problems anymore, because they're mostly in my mind anyway, and when my mind relaxes, the complications are gone.
I wanted to share that with you. I don't know how much it will help me in the future, but that's my strategy right now.
My heart is enlarged and pumping way to fast of late...... but it tells me that... I feelings of love are still there, just under that hard shell of survival... its a scarey feeling...... one that has not been there for so long...... now, what do to with it..... should I just shove my heart back down into me pocket or should I let it float free and see what happens?....... sigh....... its all so new, but feels so safe.... I think LMFAO.......
x
Go for it Mel!
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