When is it okay to give up?

It's a valid question. Now if you are an athlete, I would guess you would never give up. If you are a parent, struggling to feed your kids, you never give up. If you fighting for what is right and all that is good, you don't give up. If you are battling an illness, you don't give up. But what about relationships? Marriage? When you have done all that is humanly possible to make it work?

Now, I know there are friendships who rightfully drift apart - you are just not good for each other. Can the same be said for marriages? When is enough..enough? I look back on my marriage, especially the end, and I know I could have done things differently. Should have done things differently. Would I be divorced today? I don't know, if not, it probably would have been an up and down unhealthy roller coaster ride for all us. (My Ex, kids and myself)

I have friends who are struggling in their marriages. One marriage I see making it - they are dealing with everyday life - and they are letting it overwhelm them. The other, I am not so sure about. I hate to see my friends hurting, and I want to shake sense into them. Can a marriage survive infidelity? Yes, but it takes work. Financial problems? Yes, it takes work. Sick child? Yes, it takes work. No one ever said it would be easy. But how long do you keep trying to make it work, when the other does not try? How long do you keep running the "save my marriage" race, before you just stop? How do you handle the anger and the pain? How do you forgive? How do you ask for forgiveness? (yes, ask for forgiveness...no one is perfect..everyone messes up)

For the record, I am not an advocate of divorce. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It tears you apart mentally, and emotionally.

But at what point do you know that is fruitless to keep going? Then once it is over..how do you deal with the emotional aftermath?