A FLOOD OF FEELINGS

I am feeling many things.

Worry - we have changed mom's medicine around.  On the upside - she is talking clearer and walking stronger.  She eats without prompting. Tells us when she goes needs to potty (that had stopped).  She can have a conversation -sort of - if you lead her there.  On the downside - she is very energetic and into everything - more so than usual.  If you were to come into my house - you would think we had a toddler - and I am not kidding.  Locks, toys, nothing sitting around - you name it. 

Sadness - I feel lonely.  One sister asked me where I found my compassion and how I can show it toward mom.  I tell her it is through God...praying for the compassion I need, the love and forgiveness toward mom and others...even my sisters.  Oh, but I am lonely - I feel so deserted.

Stress - work is getting busier and busier - our peak season has it.  In the land of electronic media - my emails have increased.  It blows my mind how many I handle in a day.  I like my job - love it.  I have a good team - but boy we get fussed at daily from every sort of person you could think of.

Household chores - I want to go on strike. 

Groceries - I made my family mad - I bought no junk food/snacks, etc.  None of us need it and I saved $65 on groceries this past week - compared to the week before.  I bought fruit, etc.  Hmmph!  I am cutting back, meal planning, etc.  I am tired of spending what I was spending - it is so easy because things are so high.  In two weeks I spent $525 on groceries - unreal - we cannot afford that.  No one can.  It is at the point, I hate going to the grocery store - and I have learned not to go too early on the weekends - because it will be gone by Tuesday.  Am I wrong on this?

Did I mention I am lonely - I feel so sad right now - I could cry.  I just want to go to someone's house, curl up on the couch and just let them take care of me.