A Bracelet for 37 Years.......

On Saturday evening after going to a movie, Steve, Sam and I went to the replica of The Vietnam Wall. It was in Memphis for just three days....I am so glad we went.

We had the pleasure of meeting and talking with several veterans.

We approached the wall (I am proud to say my son took his hat off when he reached them memorial without being told!) - and just to see all those names. Most of them boys....probably not long from shaving and getting their license. Important to someone...loved by someone. Along the wall you would see memorials - gifts that people left, rocks, flowers, hats, pictures, letters...there was one that got to me. It was written by a wife...she wrote the following...."I have worn your bracelet for 37 years, I will continue to wear it until you are home or until we meet in heaven."

Her husband missing in action...I am trying to imagine what she has gone through and faced. I picture her as a young bride...maybe with a baby....watching as a Chaplain approached her door.
Not knowing...has to be terrible...worse than knowing.

Memorial Day...

Thank you to all those who have served and are serving.

You are loved and appreciated.

Just Don't Call the Police!!!!!!!


Mom has Alzheimer's....but she is still in her own home, we hope to keep her there for as long as we can...because she will go down fast if she is taken out of her little world. But by keeping her in own home...I stay busy!

Yesterday (Sunday) she called me and was so upset..."Becky, Tori and Sam have taken everything out of my house...it is all gone!" I try to calm her down and and tell her kids are not there, her house if fine.....

Well, that didn't work.

She called 911. She called me back to let me know the police were on the way.....

I call the dispatcher (a number I now have saved in my phone!) - let them know what is going on, explain mom, etc....

Luckily I am close by...Steve is too...we meet up....and go to mom's she is in a state! She is mad at me, mad at Tori and Sam, she is carrying her purse, her sweater and her makeup around the house....she starts yelling at me, I'm tired, I lose patience, I yell and fuss (which is not a good thing to do with an Alzheimer's patient).....she loses patience, poor Steve is just standing there looking at us like we both have Alzheimer's.....looking back...I am sure we both looked nuts!

Anyhooooo.......We finally got her calmed down...she spent the night with us.....we ate breakfast this morning and went to Walmart...I told her what happened...she got so tickled.

The lesson I learned? Pray before I interact with mom...be more patient.

I have to laugh to keep from crying...

I have talked to mom every hour since I took her home....I am telling her each time "Don't call the Police!" She laughs.

Estelle...in answer to your question....

We are praying for a financial miracle!

We need prayer!

Pray for a miracle.

We survied Prom Night!

Whew!

An exciting week...I will post pictures...I promise..

Sam's 13th Bday - I will write that post soon.

Tori's Prom and award banquet.

Graduation.

Wow! I am so proud of the kids. I love them so.

Make up...

My mother needed make up - so we went to buy some. She is so proud of her blush, eyebrow pencil and face cream.

For mother's day we gave her lipstick. She likes her lipstick.

Milk.....

She is 81 and drinks a lot of milk!

Keys.....

She constatntly misplaces keys she doesn't really neeed. It can be so aggravating at time.


Patience.....

Something I have'nt excercised of late. I need to do better.

Yeah!


It stopped raining - and we have a beautiful day. The sun is shining.

Need prayer...

Financial miracle! Only God can.

FCCLA STUDENT OF THE YEAR............



TORI MILLS!


Yeah Tori! I am so proud.

Antiques....

Spent my lunch break today at a local antique store...my childhood memories and favorites are now antiques.

For example...

Bionic Woman Thermos - I also had Wonderwoman!
Nancy Drew Books - I think I read everyone
Holly Hobbie Pictures -Would love to have these
Fisher Price Chalkboard - 1972
Fisher Price Cash Register - 1972

And so much more!


Again, my childhood favorites are antiques...how depressing. Ha! I may need therapy! Or I may go back and take a trip down memory lane.

A belated Happy Easter!


Thank you for the Cross and all that it means and all it did for me!

Way to go Tori!


Tori won 1st place at State Competition for FCCLA in her category - Chapter Project! I am very very proud.

Good Job girlie!

The biggest part of my job is customer service.

So for all you out there....please be nice to the person on the other end of the phone. Or the one behind the counter or the one serving your food.

Light Switch Memory

My mother spent the day with me yesterday - for the most part she was with it and knew what was going on. (We had a hamburger and milk shake!) Then at the end of our day - we went to grocery store. She didn't' want to walk around - she sat at a table set up near the deli. I kept going back to check on her.

Well....lesson learned.....she got up and started looking for me. She found me....by the time we got to the car...she didn't know who I was. It literally was like a light switch. One minute it was there and on...the next it wasn't - in fact no where near on or there. I will never take her to a store and let her out of my sight again!

We got back to her house. She was so confused. It was sad. We sat down, went through pictures and the family Bible...slowly memory came back - though not a 100%. I wonder how much longer even the fuzzy memories will be around. She went through her little house, looking at each family picture...naming each person..only a few she didn't know. Touching each one as if her fingertips would help bring the names to mind..maybe they did. I wonder how often she does that during the day. At that moment, I wanted to take her home with me and just protect her. I want to wage a battle against hateful Alzheimer's Disease -and all that it robs.

Do you think kids will figure out that dirty laundry cannot make it to the clothes hamper by itself?

I must admit I lost my patience with mom last night on the phone. I was tied up in bookkeeping, tired and drained. I must do better! She really can't help it.

Sam will soon be 13.... Need I say more? He is getting taller by the day. Long arms and lean back. When did it happen?

Mom memories..... Mom told this story to me a few weeks ago...it appears her parents had one of those up and down marriages...one night her "Papa" came home all in a romantic mood - however he had been out with his buddies - drinking. Well her mama wasn't in the mood - she chased him out of the house by hitting him with her houseshoes. (I said it then and I say it now...I never knew her mom - but I think I take after her in temperment! Ha!) ____________________________________________________________________ Mom remembers starting her monthly cycle when she was picking cotton. _____________________________________________________________________ She remembers her mother's corn bread and potatoes - said it was one of the best meals she ever ate.

Thankful.... I am thankful for the scattered memories my mom has. I am learning more and more about her childhood and teen years.

Angels.... Yesterday my mom called me crying...she was hiding. She told me two angels each had her by one hand....trying to take her away. I wish I understood more. Is God preparing me? Preparing our family? Preparing her?

Miscellaneous updates and information...................... Doctor appoitment went well...everything is okay....gotta take Vitamin E. Watch how much caffenine and chocolate I eat and drink. Ummmm that will be a struggle for me! Addicted to caffenie and love love love chocolate. Just have to keep an eye on returning lumps, etc. ___________________________________________________________________ 45 minutes..... The time my mother spent in Dollar General. She walked the entire store twice - aisle by aisle. But she enjoyed it. _____________________________________________________________________ Arby's....... Mom loves the Jr. Roast Beef.....tempted to write the company and tell them how this little 81 year old Alzheimer patient loves their sandwhiches and turnovers! _____________________________________________________________________ Prom....... Tori is going to prom. Yeah! I am looking forward to dress shopping with her. And yes I know we will disagree on some stuff...but it will still be fun. I can't wait! ____________________________________________________________________ Girlfriend ........Sam still has one. He is l brushing his teeth and using deodorant without being told. Ah...young love. ____________________________________________________________________ Hamburgers & Hotdogs....... Cooked out on the grill for the 1st time this season....and they were good. Guess what I brought for my lunch today? _____________________________________________________________________ 6:00 a.m.

The time Steve has to be at work all week. EEWWWWW. He gets up at 4:00. I don't know how he does it. I barely make 8:00.

_____________________________________________________________________

A busy, hectic week....but blessed!

Today was a rough start to my mother's day. She didn't sleep well last night - and she was confused this morning. I had to go over there sit for a bit until she calmed down and collected her thoughts. I wish I had a better understanding of Alzheimer's. It is horrible. Though she has not progressed as fast as my dad did - it is still sad to see her go down. I sometimes wonder why we are going through this a second time - physical problems are so much easier to deal with than mental. I guess that is selfish of me. Mom is trapped in her own mind. And that is very sad. I know God has plan - nothing happens without Him "touching" it first - but I wish I just understood. Pray for me..... A few weeks ago I found a couple of lumps ....I have had a mammogram and a diagnostic ultrasound...today I go and have them drained or whatever it is..and they will look at the tissue. The doctor seems to think they are just fluid filled cysts...but it is in the back of my mind..the what if's and such. He wants to make sure - and I am glad he wants to make sure.

Alot can be said for a card....... A couple of weeks ago...Sam told us he had a girlfriend....then the next day he said he didn't have one and didn't want to talk about it. (I thought you only had this sort of drama with girls?) Yesterday he proudly showed us a musical card Miss Wishy Washy gave him. I guess he has a girlfriend. He put the card by his TV. Right now he is not one to text - goodluck to anyone wanting to text him. I wonder if this will change. Needless to say, he likes his card......we all oohed and awwed over it.

A way to communicate...... My girl and I both are learning how to handle her being 18 and graduating high school.... Without revealing details of all that we have been discussing....here is some advice I wrote to her last Friday - I want to share with you.....I think a lot of us need to follow. (This is just part of it...the rest of it is just for me and her!) To Tori....... A friend reminded me recently the relationship between a mother and daughter is special - they are intertwined because they are mother and daughter - and then as they both get older - both are women in different stages - one has already been where the other is headed- being a woman is a special thing - because we are created to be nurturers, caretakers, soothers, we worry, we laugh and we cry. We relate to the physical pain and emotional pain of another woman - faster than a man ever would - that is how we are made. With that being said - we both are learning something- I am learning how to let go and let you fly and grow and pray harder than before. You are learning to fly and grow - but as you fly and grow - learn how to respond and treat others. Don't be quick to fly off the handle - pray before major decisions - pray before little decisions. Pray for your relationships. (family, friends, work - they are all important). Pray silently before speaking- this is something I totally need to do - because I always speak before I should. The letting go is hard - harder than I thought. But I will do better. I also worked with someone who had 4 teens at the same time - and he said he used to worry - then after the first two put him through many a sleepless night - he learned the following -and he said this, it will always stick in my mind "If at the end of the day and the week, if the kids are not in jail, the hospital or pregnant or at the funeral home.. the rest of it(problems) can be fixed. And even if one of the first three happen - they can usually be solved or dealt with - it is just the last that you cannot fix." All and all I have been blessed - you have a good head on your shoulders - I appreciate that much. Don't forget what you have been taught, where you came from and don't lose focus on where you are going. Trust God!

This past weekend was weekend of projects, chores and such. Boy am I tired. We mowed, weeded, washed, cleaned, swept, pulled.....you name it...it was done on the outside. I need to really clean the inside and I also plan to give the dog a haircut with my newly purchased dog clippers/shears. Whew. ____________________________________________________________________ Mom is still the same. The Alzheimer's rears its ugly head late in the afternoons - but sometimes it is an all day thing. It is sad and discouraging. I really do miss my dad. _____________________________________________________________________ Tori has a bad case of Senioritis.....she has a boyfriend...who graduated last year from the purple and gold school...he doesn't want to go to her prom...she does.....they are in conflict right now. I personally don't see the conflict - its her prom - she needs to go. I think they will have it worked out this week. Hmmph. (It is hard for this mom to stay out of it - when I know she will regret not going! But I think they will go or she will anyway) We have paid senior fees and the invitations to graduation are at home. It hit me hard when I saw them. She continues to work hard at McDonald's - her room forever smelling like french fries. ha! ____________________________________________________________________ Sam will be 13 soon - he is playing football again. They are in weight training right now - he doesn't like weight training that much....but I want him to stick it out. The football is good for him for discipline, exercise, etc. I told him he doesn't have to be the best - just be part of something. He still plays outside and I call him the leader of the Nerf Gun brigade. However he is maturing and is noticing girls. He helped me from start to finish in our very unsuccessful yard sale a few weeks ago...he worked hard! It was the pay our utility bill yard sale...needless to say we payed the bill on prayer...prayer answered! _____________________________________________________________________ Steve and I are okay....we still are learning to merge and such. Three years...doesn't seem like it. _____________________________________________________________________ I need so much dental work done...I'm gonna start. I am embarrassed to even open my mouth! _____________________________________________________________________ Church is going great - we teach children's church. We have a regular Eddie Haskel in the group. Whew! But we have fun. ______________________________________________________________________ I like my job...but I need to make more money. I know God will provide...but we are so struggling! ______________________________________________________________________ Tornadoes in our area today...I think some areas of Memphis took a hard hit. Pray for these folks. ____________________________________________________________________ Well, closing for now. Love to all!

Praise the Lord! God provides in many ways! I am so thankful and so appreciative.

Going to the Movie..... Last night Sam asked us if we would take him and his girlfriend to a movie this weekend. I told him yes - only if were okay with her parents. I received the following instructions: I am to dress nice. We cannot sit in the same movie. I told him I was going to wear a mumu and sit right behind them..if not beside them. Ha!

Need much much prayer!

Need a miracle!

Specific prayer....

Health
Marriage and Family
Finances
Job

I wish I had the words to explain just how tired I am. I need to stop allowing "life" get to me and wear me down.

Just need prayer....

Yard Sale....

Yep I'm having one! Whew! Hope it is successful.

We are calling this one "pay our utility bill" yard sale.

Ha!

It seems here lately we have been attacked with bad news, happenings and such from the left, right, front and back...it has been hard not to dwell or soak in them.

To keep from soaking......I have to think on all the things I appreciate and treasure....

The health of Tori and Sam. How blessed we are with good health!

The good days with mom - they are fewer and far between - but we do have them...just last Saturday her eating a BBQ plate and enjoying it.

Wonderful time in Children's church last week - the kids listened and learned.

My job - though it does not pay a whole lot - they are flexible and understand sick kids and my mom.

Good moments with Steve.

And most importantly - I know Jesus loves me and He died for me.

Quick request.....

Need prayer.

So much is going on and happening at the moment......whew hard not to worry and feel overwhelmed.

Thank you.

I will have a positive attitude today!

Tori had a project to complete last night...and it was on.....the 80's! Whoo hoo!

She had to look up music, tv, news, music, fashion, and fads. I had so much fun. I ended up listening to Journey, Bruce, and Brian Adams.

As part of her presentation....she wore my Born In The USA concert t-shirt. Awwwww....

I have two good kids.....not perfect...but good.

Appreciation.....


I appreciate my husband.
I appreciate my children.
I appreciate my sisters and parents.
I appreciate my friends.
I appreciate my job.
I appreciate my freedom and those who do so much to protect it.
I appreciate and cherish the fact that Jesus died for me and I am saved and going to heaven.

Observations...

There are some women who can wear low cut - or just v-neck shirts...and then are some who shouldn't. (This from when we were out and about yesterday)

If there are so many honor students (per all the bumper stickers) in the world - why are we in America last when it comes to math and science?

Really...you drive a new model Mercedes and you are public assistance? I don't understand.

I don't think we can handle $4.00 gallon gas...it will kill us!

Resolutions....

I didn't make any...but I want to:

...Control my temper
...Control my tounge
...Control my thoughts

...read my Bible more (if I do this - I do believe the above three will be accomplished!)

...be more positive and encouraging

...be a better wife

...be a better mom

...Be a better person

Yes, I know I am late..

But Happy New Year.

This party animal went to bed about 10:00 New Year's Eve. I spent about two hours of my holiday night - sorting through a box of pictures.

Whoo Hoo.

Had a wonderful Christmas....

Peaceful...

Family and Friends.


What a blessing!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I am sooooooo sleepy today.

We may get to shop today. I hope so.

Ghosts?

Are they real? Do you believe in them?

Handling what life gives you....

My mother has Alzheimer's...she is going down fast mentally.

She spent the night at my house last night and will probably do so again tonight...I want her used to the house...she feels pretty comfortable..comfortable enough to let me know my refrigerator is cleaner than she has ever seen it. She knows where the cups are, the towels, and the broom - she likes to sweep. She made Sam's bed...it was bedtime. Ha!

I hate that we .... she has to go through this. Though it has been almost 9 years since Dad passed away...the memories of his fight with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's are fresh in my mind - as if they were yesterday.

Each day will be an adventure...sad, funny, confusing, chaotic all at the same time.

Turn around moment...

We all have them, those turn around moments, some call them LIGHT BULB or A-HA moments.

A friend of mine, A.P. - gave me some advice or not so gently suggested to stop putting things off or avoiding issues...and I knew I am guilty of that - but didn't realize how much so until she said it.

Now, I have a long way to go to get things taken care of - but now I tentatively have a plan.

1. I am working on child support - should have done it a long time ago - and a huge weight has been lifted.
2. My sister and I have talked and share more this past weekend than we have in a long time. I am blessed to have her.
3. My mom - she won't get better - but we have a plan - though flexibility is key.
4. Most importantly...very important...I have drifted so far from God, that is why my priorities are not straight..that is why I have become an avoider of everything in life. I am not prayed up, confessed up, read up or even close in fellowship with other believers. I firmly believe that is why I am not seeing success, peace, and rest., fighting guilt..it is a painful lesson...but one I have learned from..now need to apply. I have to and need to allow God to change me.

I am also appreciative of my friends, D.C. in particular. She loves unconditionally. No judging. Just that warm voice on the other end of the phone.


I want to be a better mom to Tori and Sam.

I love my husband Steve - I need to do better by him...

Thank you for your prayers.

Well, heck. I am still sick. Pneumonia - to date I have had 15 shots, breathing treaments, and am the owner of an inhaler. I haven't slept in two nights because of coughing and such. Last night I gave up at 1:30 - got up and ironed. At least that is done.

We have taken a huge financial hit. I am worried about bills and Christmas. And I just don't feel good. I have no sick days left.

Ex-hubby totally behind (4 months-well three because when he lost his job we told him don't worry about Sept - now he is working two jobs) on child support...will have to take legal action - geesh I don't want to. I keep willing the mailman to bring a check that covers it. It is the last thing I want to do - I am dreading it - I hate hate controversy. I like to blend. The very fleshly part of me wants to keep the kids from going up to where he is (the plan is the day after Christmas - they really don't want to go - and we are picking them up earlier than usual - because they want to come home)- but that is not right. We just wanted to see some effort - I told him just to mail $25 a week until he could get caught up - that would cover haircuts and school stuff, you know? But if I go to child support services I am going to ask for also his part in regard to health insurance. I pray a check arrives today.

I am going to quit whining now....we have much to be thankful for.





In other news.....

Tori turned 18...we got her a camera and went shopping Sunday for a dress for "Oscar Night" (senior awards). She is doing well in school.

Sam is doing good in school also. He is growing up.

Steve is on vacation this week. He is just hanging out at the house. He went to dr with me yesterday.

Mom is still mom...wearing me out she is!

Updates...

My tripple whammy turned to pneumonia. Just now getting over it.

Mom is still mom...Alzheimer's a little worse.

Tori will be 18 this week...Happy Birthday Tori! Love you!

Sam is getting tall!

Have not bought the first Christmas present!

A coworker/supervisor passed away today after a battle with cancer. Active in church and community. He leaves behind his wife, two children, grandchildren and his 82-year old mother. No sibblings.

I hurt for his whole family - but it is his mother whom I ache for.

Pray for his family.

TRIPLE WHAMMY

STREP THROAT

BRONCHITIS

EAR INFECTION


WHO?


ME!!! UGH!!!!!

$8.63

Today I was in Dollar Tree- for those who don't know - this is a store where everything is a $1.00 - and I heard this elderly couple talking on an aisle- they were probably in their 80's - - they were planning 4 days worth of meals - they were waiting on their check that would be in the bank on Monday. They had spaghetti o's, a frozen pizza, soup, some vegetables, chicken salad, juice, bread, and a few other things. Well then I got behind them in line - and they didn't have enough money. $8.63 short.

They shouldn't have to worry about stuff like that - especially in a Dollar Store.

I was blessed to help out - but wonder if they will be in the same boat in a few weeks.

Mom has kept me busy for the past few days. I am ready for her to move in - just so I know everyone is in the same place and I won't be on the road as much. But I know her moving in will present a whole new set of challenges.

I haven't been feeling too hot of late - I am tired- not sleeping -stressed - I need a new job- the one I have doesn't pay enough-though they are very flexible with all that goes on in my life - that is a blessing. I am customer service - and people are so mean to folks on the phone. Be kind to all the customer service people you deal with - it really isn't their fault.

Tori has SENIORITIS - she is ready to be finished.

Sam is about to be a teenager - that will be fun.

Church is nice- we are fitting in with our new church family.

Finally.....

It feels like fall and it rained some last week. Whew it has been so very hot and dry.

Halloween is this weekend. Sam will dress as the Grim Reaper - the county in which we live - every community is on a different Halloween Schedule - makes it for a confusing but fun and busy time.

The kids have been away this week on fall break trips and such.

This mama bird is ready for the chicks to return to the nest. I missed them.

Tori came home last night bringing along with her dirty laundry, dishes left everywhere, an energy that missed terribly and a smile that brightens my world.

Sam is coming home today. I bet he will seem taller.

Needing to be needed.......

My mother spent the night with us on Friday night - I am actually trying to do this more often - to let her get used to the house and such, because I know one day - very soon - she will move in with us.

She wanted KFC - so that is what we had - KFC. She then offered to clean the kitchen - we didn't use any dishes and such (used paper plates) - and I told her as much - but she went in there anyway and started cleaning - well she detailed cleaned! (Her house is spotless) - she just cleaned and cleaned - enjoyed it. (she loves to clean and organize)

You know what she said to me? "Well, Becky, you can't help it if you work - and can't clean house." (like my house is a garbage dump! ha!)




But all kidding aside- this made me realized - she needs to be needed.

I am very tired today!

I have forgotten how to relax.

Or let me put it this way...I am not allowing myself to relax.

I used to read to relax..somehow that has been pushed to the side...but no more....I have started reading again and am enjoying it. Maybe it is not the straight into the night reading like I used to - but now it is a few minutes on my lunch break...or a few minutes before bedtime -but I am enjoying it.

This past week - I read my Bible more - now imagine how much better my week went! God is good ...and when you are closer to Him...life is better. Mind you not easier...just better knowing you are closer to Him.

________________________________________

Busy times.....

The new school year is busy as every. Both kids brought home pretty decent interim reports last night. Especially proud of Sam's math grade. Whoo hoo.

Tori's senior year seems to be flying by - I hope she is enjoying it. Sam is learning much in football - it is hard for him to practice a lot and not play a game - but his day is coming- we tell him he has to "pay his dues"

Mom is still the same - at times the Alzheimers is worse - and it is not a matter of if but when she moves in with us.

Work is okay for me - I want something else -and one day that something else will happen.

Church is great - we have started teaching children's church - kids are sweet and funny.

Steve is working hard - he was so tired last night.

Sam made the football team!

Yeah!

We are all so excited and very proud. He tried out and made it.

Way to go Sam!

Back to School..


Well - tomorrow begins the school year. Actually it is a 1/2 day for registration - then they start full time next week.

Sam's first year in middle school. Wow. I no longer have an elementary student in my household. I am about to enter the teen years with him.

Tori and Steve's youngest are about to enter their senior year. I can't believe my girl is a senior. I am so proud of her.

Parenting your parent...

My mother seems to be in the first stages of Alzheimer's (my dad and three aunts suffered, and it is suffering from it) and she is keeping me hopping.

It is heartbreaking, exhausting, and frustrating at the same time.

Some of the things she says and does will make you laugh and if you are down - cry like a baby.

Decisions will have to be made in the upcoming months.

I know God will guide us to make the right ones.

Your prayers are appreciated more than you can know.

A shift....

Well I knew it was coming.....

The "official" shift from little boy to preteen.

Hmmph.

We had a Sunday School Social at our home on Saturday night - (it was fun by the way, we watched Blindside and had a dinner of cold cuts and such) - everyone brought their kids - and well my son ditched the younger boys playing Nerf guns and other stuff. And ended up sitting on the patio in the middle of about 4 12-13 year old girls.

Hmmph.

Balance....

Trying to find balance. I was home a short time - but it doesn't take long to get used to something does it?

Working full time, yard work, housework, part-time job on weekends, kids, mom, family, church...and wait until school begins. I know God will direct me - I must put him first before all and the rest will fall into place. But I am so hard headed at times!

Tori and Sam are fine. Busy. Tori goes and goes! Sam does too. He is so tan from swimming and playing outside.

I have two days off scheduled in August - I am looking forward to them.

Senior Pictures....

Tori had senior pictures today...we went to lunch and did a little shopping. It was a fun day. I even managed to grocery shop today.

A movie....
Tonight Steve, Sam and I plan to go see the new Karate Kid movie.


A goal....
I am going to really work on time management and organization..two things I used to excel at, now I stink at.

The weather...
It is hot. Plain and simple. Miserable hot.

Updates...


Well, I started my job this past week. I worked there 12 years ago - I left when Sam was born. I was thinking if I had known then the journey that I was about to take, I would have stayed. Whew! But all happens for a reason.

I am starting out at the bottom and my ego was bruised for a minute - but it is better than no job at all. I will continue to do my part time bookkeeping job from home and Steve and I will deliver books each week - both little jobs help out tremendously. I will have to be in check with my attitude though, I get bored - but I will dust and such if I have to. I believe firmly in working while at work!

Tori is blessed to be in Gulf Shores this week with a friend and her family - they go every year and called and invited Tori - she was so excited. It gives me a whole week without worrying about her on the road! ha ha! I know she will have fun. She's had a week of stuff happening - her phone broke, her battery had to be replaced in her car, etc. Whew.

Sam is going to a friends house later this week for a few days - a home of 6, yep count 'em, 6 boys. They will swim, run and play. This used to be his babysitter - and he always had a good time with them. This will be good for him. He tried out for football last week - we will know in August - there is a camp he will go to next week - I think this will help in the decision process - plus it will be good exercise for him. (He turned 12 a few weeks ago)

They both have finished school - and did well. I now have a senior and a 6th grader! Yeah Tori and Sam.

Our church will have a new Sunday School Class about relationships - I am excited - it is something we need. I also want to teach children's choir - but need that confirmation from Steve and kids.

My dad will be gone 8 years this week - I miss him terribly. Mom struggles between one extreme and the other mentally - it can be exhausting at times. She is really having a hard time adjusting to me working.

We adopted a dog a few weeks ago - Kylee - she is so sweet!

I got a job!

I start next Monday - May 24th. I am so excited and relieved!

God is good!

Observation.....

My kids are spreading their wings. Tori especially - hopefully all she has been taught is a strong foundation. She works hard, does well in school, and is happy and healthy. What a blessing. Selfishly, a small part of me wants her to still need me - but she is almost 18 - she is very independent, has a strong will and a definite opinion.

Sam is at the beginning of spreading his wings. He is very sensitive to women (thanks in part to being the only male in a household of women ages 10-80), the "leader" of the nerf gun boys in the neighborhood (though he is impatient and slightly bossy), he is about to enter middle school and is struggling with "not liking" what he looks like. I think he is finally realizing the importance of soap, shampoo and deodorant. :)


I am proud of both of them!! Love you Tori and Sam!


Job interview...

I have one Thursday - it is for a part time position - but we need the income. I am printing fliers today for cleaning houses - maybe I will get a couple of calls. Please pray something comes through soon. Though I have to be honest - all the little part time jobs have pretty much replaced my income. And we have cut back a whole lot - you learn that you can do without a whole lot of stuff.



Closet cleaning...

I cleaned Sam's closet out yesterday...whew. And I cleaned out mine and Steve's closet. Let me tell you right now, the bulk of the mess in our closet - belonged to me. I am trying to figure out why my purse, my car and my closet are the three messiest areas in my life. (And possibly my dresser) Sam's closet was typical boy..broken stuff, taped together stuff, Lego's, boxes of more stuff, glasses and bowls. Needless to say when I was finished, I had a lot of stuff being thrown out or being donated. We have been here two years and it is amazing how much stuff we have accumulated.

Life Changes.....

We are making other changes and I think they...no I know they are good ones. The right steps in the right direction. God is good.

Update......

Still looking for a job. It is discouraging. Obviously I am going to have to try harder.

My mother is probably at the beginning stages of Alzheimers. I think about my dad and all he went through and suffered, and pray that mom doesn't go through the same.

Kids are fine - anxious for Spring Break next week.

Steve has been on vacation this week - we've hung out a lot.

Not a whole lot on my mind...sorry!

Never let it be said...

There is nothing to do. I have been busier since I have been out of work than I was when I was working. Whew. But I am getting a lot accomplished.

You can't make money...I mean I am not making tons of money, I need a job, but I have found and picked up a few odd jobs. There is stuff out there.


It doesn't matter to kids if you are home or not....it does matter. Sam is enjoying it- his grade have improved slightly. I am here for Tori to talk and vent right out of school. I wish I could be home for awhile.

Just a whole lot going on...

Ever heard of square peg in a round hole or the expression "oil and water just don't mix?"

Well, I am unemployed - by my choice - a total crazy leap of faith. I need a job!

Steve's dad had a heart attack - he is having bypass surgery today.

My sister is in hosptial with chest pain and shortness of breath.

Say a prayer!

1 week....


A lot can happen in 1 week.

A week ago today my mother had a heart attack. She had three blockages. They were able to do a balloon, a stent, and left the other blockage because it was small and in a very small artery. She is home now, still weak but getting better.

Yes, I know I need to post Christmas pictures and such.

However....

Last night, my mom called, she was sick, I drove over there and realized that she is almost 80, and she seemed so fragile and little last night.

Decisions...decisions.....decisions...

I pray I make the right ones concerning areas of my life that have always been important and vital.

All is okay at home - each day is a learning experience that will help me grow. But good grief sometimes the fertilizer stinks!!! Ha!

An observation.....

Why is it that those homes who are the first to put up their Christmas Lights are the last ones to take them down?

Just wondering.

I have to share something, I feel the old me left for a while, but pieces of me are returning. Does that even make sense? If you know me well, you will completely understand. If you do not, I will leave you guessing. :)

But I will enjoy these small pieces, and these small steps I am taking - they are a gift.

And I will post Christmas real soon.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Decade!

I wrote about this earlier, but it is bothering me.

Today, I was at a convenient store, and I saw a penny laying on the ground. I walked over it, usually I pick them up, but today I didn't. I don't know why. Now I feel guilty. Pennies add up.

I have always believed the small things, the small details do matter. Does this mean I am changing? Have I become so unappreciative of what has been given to me that I ignore the small piece of coin on the ground?

I hope not. I will do better.

Lessons Learned....

Steve and I went out of town for the weekend ...I will write more later on that.

I learned a lot on the drive home.

I have to be honest, we took a hit when I was laid off, I make less - and it has been hard.

I realized yesterday as we were driving home, how blessed we are. God protected us all the way - we were literally minutes behind 6 accidents yesterday. One involved a State Trooper - I just looked it up, and he is in stable condition. I am so grateful for the delays we experienced, the lines, the traffic, even buying a coke - because each delay protected us.

We were about 90 miles from home yesterday - we stopped to eat. I thought I was hungry. We ordered our food - and then I couldn't eat it. I just pushed it to the side, and as I did so, I looked up, three booths away was a homeless man. Oh, how God spoke to me yesterday. I was so ashamed of wasting my meal, ashamed of feeling sorry for myself - when we have so much to be thankful and appreciative for. We bought him a meal and gave him the snack food and water from our car. (I'm not bragging - it was the least we could do) I can't help but think about him, where did he sleep? What did he do with the bag and food wrappers he folded so neatly and stuck in his backpack? Was he warm? What demons does he fight in his head each day? Does he have family? Are the holidays we celebrate just regularly "days" of survival for him? Does he ever get to watch football after the Thanksgiving meal?

Lessons learned. Thank you God for your provision.

I made a lemon icebox pie last night. My little family loved it.

It was my first one - so easy to make.

I also made fudge with a different kind of chocolate.

But my laundry is still piled up. (Thankful for clothing I am!)

Since I last wrote...

My daughter has turned 17. Happy Birthday Tori - I love you and I am very proud of you.

Sam has decided he likes a girl - his main reason - she comes up his nose and he don't like girls taller than him.

Thanksgiving was nice. Busy. But nice.

House is decorated for Christmas - I plan to write about our "topless" Christmas tree here real soon. Very funny - though it didn't seem so at the time. Ha!

Just about through with Christmas shopping - I do have a bit left. I am ever so thankful for my "side" job of bookkeeping -because that is what paid for Christmas.

It is cold, wet and windy here in Tennessee. We are wimps. It is going to be down in the 20's tonight. UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

Christmas Cards - I have got to get them done. I love Christmas Cards.

Work is always busy.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Well, I think it was a compliment. Sorta?

My mother never one to mince words or tell you what she things you look like, told me yesterday when I took a dinner plate to her - "Good Lord Becky you've lost weight, your butt (sorry but I refuse to edit her words - it is too funny) is not as big as it used to me, and your pants are sagging." (I have lost weight)

I think it was a compliment.

Maybe.

I don't really know.

Yes, the dog was ready for Halloween!

Sam as the Grim Reaper.


Showing off our pumpkin and scarecrows.

The finished pumpkin. (This was Steve's 2nd ever pumpkin to carve! The first? Was with us last year!)

Tori, Sam and Steve.

Your's truly.....and the kids. I've lost 21 pounds.

Sam loved cleaning out the "guts"

Tori helped under duress...really she did.

Just a cute picture.

Just call me Betty Crocker.....

I made a salad, spaghetti and homemake cookes today.

Thank you very much.

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?


Umm....no.

Sam is in 5th grade.

5th grade math is not easy.

So, to repeat the answer to the question?

No, I'm not smarter than a 5th grader.

Nerf Gun War...

Every day boys between the ages of 6 and 13 in our neighborhood -with Sam being a ring leader . They draw maps - have hiding spots - bunkers -they pack crackers and water for food in back packs just in case they are in a bunker longer than planned and whatever else they can think of -they are ready for a battle. It is so darn cute. (Though I am sure cute is not what they are going for - but I am a mom - what do I know?)

Weekend to Remember...

Nope, we didn't go on a trip or even out to eat. Outside of the usual weekend stuff - we stayed close to home.

I was off Saturday! I was so excited. I swapped out my days off because boss/coworkers are out of town.

Sam had a soccer game. They won! Sam scored a goal and as goalie stopped 4 goals. Whoo Hoo! I was so glad to be there and he was glad Steve and I were there. We then went to moms and did some repairs and such at her house. We made it back to our house - where I cleaned! I scrubbed baseboards - moved appliances, etc. I decorated for Fall/Halloween. Steve washed the car. Sam had a friend spend the night. We finished the night with Pizza.

Tori enjoyed homecoming Friday night and hung out with friends and worked Saturday. She introduced us to to her new boyfriend - he is a senior and has enlisted in the Marines. He will go to boot camp about 6 days after graduation. He doesn't look old enough to hold a razor - much less a gun. I worry about Tori being hurt - but it will be a life lesson for her and him.

Sunday was church - we had a good class. We came home and was lazy for most of the day.

I do appreciate my job - but I miss Saturdays with my family. I could tell they all enjoyed me being there too.

DECISIONS AND CHOICES

My daughter has been faced with a lot of decisions and choices of late. She has faced pressure from friends and classmates. For the most part, she has made the right choices - though I know she is hurting inside at the response from her friends.

I am here for you girlie!

Dear Marmie (Melody)....


I am thinking about you and want you to take care of yourself.

I am so thankful for my friends. I wish I had the words to make them understand how much I love and appreciate them.

It is Monday - my "off" day. I will lay down for a few extra minutes - the last person, Sam, is about to leave for the day. Chores are facing me - laundry, clean carpet - finish dusting, laundry, dishes, give the dog a bath, book keeping work, laundry. You get the picture. My "off "day is a work day thinly disguised as an off day.

My friend Diane, had surgery, thyroid surgery this past week - she had a few complications and is not feeling well at all. But she is home. I took her a scarecrow last night (you know a fall decoration for the yard - I thought it was funny - she laughed). She and her daughter are all that is good in a person - so hurry up and get well my friend!



Well, I am going to enjoy a few minutes of laziness before I begin my "off" day.

Working on Saturday....

Today is the first soccer game of the season and it is also the first game I have EVER missed. I have made it to every recital, cheer competition, scout meetings, and soccer games - and I have missed today's game.

I can't change things right now - I am ever so grateful for the job I have. But I sure wish I was on the sidelines cheering Sam and team on.


Progress Reports..............

Both are doing pretty good in school. Sam is struggling in math - but his teacher emailed me and said this is common for 5th graders - their math is in "steps" now and they have a hard time adjusting. I hope we can get over the hump. His end of year test scores from last year blew it out of the park! I am very proud.

Tori has a 100 in Chemistry. Wow!

Teaching Sunday School..............

Steve and I are teaching 2nd and 3rd grade Sunday School. We really do enjoy it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

I MISS YOU LOTS!

A few quick updates.....

How I spent my 40th birthday. In the hospital! I was having super bad chest pains. Turned out to be super bad acid reflux and very low low potassium. All the other tests came back okay. I was so scared and ever so depressed.

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Kids have adjusted to school. They seem to be doing okay. Progress reports will tell a lot.
Tori has been getting a lot of hours at work and Sam is playing soccer.

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I am having a hard time working on Saturdays - it is very depressing leaving my family here week after week. I don't know how to handle it or if I can hold out much longer doing it-yes I know I have to work - and I am grateful for the job - I have to work into a positive attitude every week. Then I feel guilty for not being positive. What a cycle!

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My friend, Diane, is facing surgery soon. Love ya girl!

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I am having moments of depression. Nothing I haven't faced before. But it is overwhelming at times.

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Steve and I will officially be "together" for two years this next week. We started dating on Sept 8 2007. He will also be 4 years from 50 this week (46). I tease him about it.

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I need to clean house! And I am off to do so right now.

3 more days...

I will no longer be in my 30's. I will be circling a different oval on forms and such.

Shh...... You hear that?

Me either! There is not one TV on, not one radio, DS, MP3 player....the house is quiet. I've taken the house back! School is back in session today.

At least I know where Tori is for about 7 hours - she won't be on the road!

Oh, I know we go back to homework, misplaced shoes, lost agenda's, last minute projects, lunches and everyone trying to get ready at the same time every morning - but for today-Monday-my day off- it is nice. Now I am going to clean this nasty house!

-40-

I know it is a number and there is so much to do and experience. But in just a few days I will turn 40 and I have to admit I am struggling with it. Actually I am in a slump.

I have asked my family no "Lordy lordy...Becky is 40" stuff. I think that will throw me over the edge.

Steve's birthday is in September - we are buying ourselves joint b'day gifts - something for the house and we are taking a weekend away next week.

40 - the year of the mammogram. 40- all of a sudden more gray hairs are there. 40-an extra laugh line and too many pounds. 40-all of a sudden the term "mam" from the store clerk is depressing.

I will be strong though. Whew.

Back to School......


Yep - it is that time of the year again. We registered today. The first full day is next Monday.

Sam being ever so dramatic was going through the house last night.....saying...

"Goodbye Summer...it was short. Goodbye pillow...I will miss sleeping late." And so on.

I shared his comments with my friend Amy - she and her husband work hard as teachers. They had the summer off together and she said..."Goodbye clean house, goodbye homework free nights, goodbye home cooked meals..."

How funny.

Sam is an official 5th grader and Tori a Junior. I am going to work hard on being more positive and encouraging this year. And hopefully more patient!